By Michael Armijo

Over the last year, I have experienced more than my share of grief, and it has taken its toll.  In an effort to help alleviate some of the sadness, I have been attending grief therapy.  The office I visit for my sessions is above a tavern, just like something out of a novel.

In a recent session, I came away a bit relieved that I was able to find some answers to questions that have delayed some successes in my life.  I found out that I continue to “stuff” feelings of abandonment and fear down inside myself; and just like the silly joke can of snakes from childhood, you never really know how many turns of the lid it will take until the snakes explode in your face.  You can stuff things down for just so long.

I have learned that I need to face my emotions by allowing others into my life, and not fear relationships that tug on my feelings.  By learning to open up and trust those that I give the many pieces of my heart to, I will eventually realize that I can be okay.  Heartbreaks can heal.

That’s the thing about death; its permanence is formidable.  I need to understand that not all of life’s treasures will last forever.  Sometimes, the things you hold dear will come to an end.  But I am learning to reframe my expectations.

Like a beautiful work of art – a masterpiece – that you have the opportunity to see, you don’t mourn its loss after you see it.  You celebrate the fact that you were able to be in the presence of greatness with fond memories.  True, too, of special relationships that are no longer present.  I will treat them like artwork, enjoy their beauty and bask in their emotional light.  But I will try to remember that they may fade away like the memory of that beautiful work of art, and when I do think of them, it will be with love and fondness for what they brought to my life.

My sessions above the tavern are a work in progress.  The current task set before me is to enjoy the here and now of relationships; to enjoy their beauty and the meaning they add to my life today – without worrying about their existence tomorrow.  As the Bible says, tomorrow will take care of itself.