By Michael Armijo 

I recently realized the level of pressure that has been placed upon me. I never asked for it, I never sought it out; it just graciously appeared upon my doorstep. Someone “rang my doorbell” and simply ran away.

I don’t believe it’s the level of pressure you have in life that defines you, I believe it’s your ability to cope with that pressure. For me, coping has been somewhat of an issue, and pressure seems to keep mounting within my life. In the past, I’ve been unable to thoroughly and responsibly cope. But I remember reading somewhere that if you give it all up, you will become a new man.

So after failing several times last year, my drive and desire to be a better man has kept me from quitting. I don’t come from the greenest of pastures, nor have I traveled a paved road. So for me to build a home on a solid foundation has been quite difficult.

I know I cannot blame my present on my past. Nor can I predict a horrible tomorrow based on a bad yesterday – although these things constantly try to ruin what I have today.

The thing I’ve come to realize is that yesterday is not running today, I am. I am the only one who can allow the horrid experiences, bad memories, and painful encounters to interfere with the ones I love, the joys I’ve experienced, and the future I deserve.

What is significant to me may be insignificant to others.  Is the glass half empty, or half full?  Is the grass greener, or just artificial turf?  Some people have no glass and no grass. Some of us complain about the shoes we wear while others have no legs to stand on.

So what does it take for me to realize how fortunate I really am?

There are times within our lives when we have to put things in perspective. I’ve experienced things in my life that have changed me emotionally.  At first I caved and allowed my past to take over and interfere with my ability to cope. I have driven away almost everyone that truly cared about me, and when I had the opportunity to rectify the situation, I just simply walked away. It hurts to realize that I could not cope with the pain, and that my actions created even more pain for me and for others.  One day I came to the realization that I no longer liked who I was.

I remembered my childhood – being abused, hurt, lying on the ground desperately trying to defend myself against a grown man.  And I also remembered getting up. I was able to find a new way, a new path.  I found survival instincts, again and again.  I thought, “If that little boy could do it, why can’t I?”

So today I am thankful that I have the incredible ability to survive; that I have the ability to overcome – because I have, over and over again. And yes, my glass is half-full and my grass is greener than any home on my block.  And just like that little boy who picked himself up with tears in his eyes and a wounded heart, I’m going to keep getting up.  I’m going to keep surviving.  And just like that little boy, I am choosing to become fearless.