BY NANCY STOOPS

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

SGV — Why do you let everybody run your life?  Why do you feel you have no choices and that life can’t ever get better?  What is it that seems to keep you stuck?  How many times have you asked yourself these questions?  Let’s see if we can provide some answers.

I think we let others run our lives because we feel we don’t know how to. Out of fear, we allow others to run things for us.  In terms of feeling, we have no choices.  I think it’s just a bad habit of limiting our expectations and not having faith in ourselves.

I believe we stay stuck because we get comfortable even if we are miserable.  It also takes a lot of energy to change and many times we don’t want to put forth that kind of energy.  The alternative is to do nothing and to just stay stuck.  We ask ourselves the same questions over and over, and at the time, we tell ourselves that this time we will finally change.  I believe people mean it at the time they say it, but then they get lazy when it comes to actually doing the work involved to get to where they want to.

Please stop assigning blame to everybody and everything, except yourself, for why you don’t have the life you want.  We all have things that get in the way of our journeys, but it’s also up to us to overcome that adversity that literally stops us dead in our tracks.  I get so tired of people telling me they can’t when I know they can if they would try harder and fight for the life they want.  People are always putting off having the life they want by telling themselves that once they get though this or that, life will improve and be what they want it to be.  The truth is that all they are really putting off is life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services, feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818.  You may also e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s new book, “Live Heal and Grow,” is available at www.RoseDogBookstore.com or at Amazon.com.