Tag Archives: Nancy Stoops

Celebrating the Simple Things

Nancy Stoops

I believe each day that we have the honor of being alive is call for celebration. Every morning as I awake and see the sun rising and filling the sky with majestic colors I am reminded of how lucky we are. As I step out in the morning with Midnight my therapy dog I feel blessed for his friendship and for the health that we both have. As we start our walk through our wonderful community I am proud to be part of it and I enjoy the morning song of the birds around us. As we walk I enjoy the trees and flowers that represent life in the neighborhood. Midnight and I are greeted by the other daily walkers with a friendly smile and warm hello. It’s so nice to be part of such a wonderful neighborhood filled with such lovely people. Sometimes the other dogs will visit with Midnight as we make our way through our neighborhood and that makes Midnight a very happy soul.


I think the feeling of the sun on my face is just magical. The fragrant plants and flowers are intoxicating and so very delightful. Swimming or floating in water has always been very freeing for me. Laughter truly is the best medicine and I think we all could do a lot more of it. Looking up at a night sky filled with stars and a full moon can be an experience that provides a wonderful kind of solace. Just hanging out with my grandson is fabulous.


These simple things I speak of don’t cost any money but are literally priceless. I think if we all take time to appreciate the simple things that are so wonderful in our world we will be more positive. I think then we will not dwell so much on what is wrong but focus on what is right. I know we are all struggling to look at what’s right in our world and celebrating the simple things helps us do just that. I have faith that we all are going to get through these difficult times and come out better people for it!!


This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Life Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.net.

A World Full of Anxiety

I have always been told that worrying is an insult to God. I always had interpreted this as that we are in good hands and need to trust the plan for our life. I believe being the best version of myself daily is really all I can do. I have come to realize that all I really have control over is myself and how I react to my life. I have no control over others or over their behavior. I can be helpful as a therapist and plant seeds for change in people. It’s not up to me whether those seeds get nurtured and grow into the very thing that provide tools for change.


The definition of anxiety is that our demands outweigh our means. For example feeling as if there isn’t enough time to get everything done. I think we can always work on improving our time management skills and sometimes we need to set more realistic expectations for ourselves and others. We need to learn that Rome really wasn’t built in a day and we need to learn patience. We need to pay attention to our bodies when we aren’t handling our anxiety very well. We need to practice our deep breathing and our meditation. We need to take time to pet and cuddle with our animals. We need to work on staying in the moment and not thinking so ahead of ourselves. We need to just relax and have faith in ourselves, in others and in our life plan.


More than fifty percent of all illnesses are stress related. If we can learn to relax and manage our stress than we won’t make ourselves sick. Slow down, breath and have faith in yourself, in others and your life plan. Learn to manage your life and your stress so that it won’t control you and your life!!!!!


This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.

Relax It Will Be Better Soon

Since we all have been hit with the fear of the Corona Virus many people are very anxious. We all need to relax and practice a lot of selfcare care right now. We need to exercise, meditate, eat well, take vitamins and supplements, get lots of rest, drink lots of water, do things we enjoy and have some faith. Many people are hoarding items but we have been told repeatedly there is no need for that. We need to stay up to date but we don’t have to listen to the news all day long. We need to maintain a very positive outlook. Stress actually wears down our immune systems and now especially we need strong immune systems. Echinacea is a wonderful herb that can help strengthen our immune systems. I have taken it for most of my life and I rarely get sick.


I also think we must practice being grateful everyday and continually think about all we are blessed with. We must be kind to each other and look out for our neighbors. We can check in with each other and make sure we all have what we need. This is a great time for all of us to practice being better human beings. Anger and fear are not the way that we will heal from all of this. We must practice kindness, tolerance, patience and humanity. We all must learn from this as I believe there are many lessons we could learn here.


Take advantage of working from home. Take advantage of your children being home with you. Take advantage of all the clean air we have from all of the rain. Look around everything is so green and beautiful and we live in such a lovely community. Start a new hobby, play with your children, take walks together with the dog. Try to enjoy your time at home with each other. Play some games, cook together, listen to some music, watch some movies, and take this time to enjoy your family. May God bless us all and may this be over very soon!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She also works as a motivational speaker. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs. For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com. Join Nancy’s wellness website at NancyStoopsMFT.ORG and receive a daily wellness message.

An Invitation for Wellness in 2020

By Nancy Stoops

Make 2020 the year you celebrate yourself.  I would like to extend two invitations to all of you. The first one is to join my new wellness website at NancyStoopsMFT.org and receive a new wellness message daily and lots of other wellness ideas as well. The second one is to attend the Taste of Wellness 2020 event sponsored by the city of Walnut This wonderful and free event will take place Saturday March 28, 2020 from 8a.m. till noon at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in the city of Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200 and all you have to do is call to reserve your spot today.  This event will offer classes on meditation, the myths of diets, proper stretching techniques, yoga, a sage burning ceremony and a free tea and snack bar. Midnight the therapy dog will be there to comfort your souls and make you smile. This will be the fourth wellness event.  For those of you that have attended before keep on coming back and invite everybody you know.  If this will be your first time attending a wellness event be prepared to be delighted!

              I can’t think of a better way to help you meet your goals then by attending an event that will teach you so many wonderful ways to embrace wellness into 2020!  I personally will be running two of the five workshops offered and would love for all of you readers to come out to this amazing opportunity to enhance your wellbeing. I’m very excited to share all the facets of my very healthy lifestyle that have served me so very well for my life.  I will be discussing so many common sense ways to help yourself and just feel better so you can all improve the very quality of your life.  I look forward to seeing all of you there and sharing all of the secrets that have provided me and my patients with a life of quality and joy!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

An Invitation for Wellness in 2020

By Nancy Stoops

Make 2020 the year you celebrate yourself.  I would like to extend two invitations to all of you. The first one is to join my new wellness website at NancyStoopsMFT.org and receive a new wellness message daily and lots of other wellness ideas as well. The second one is to attend the Taste of Wellness 2020 event sponsored by the city of Walnut This wonderful and free event will take place Saturday March 28, 2020 from 8a.m. till noon at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in the city of Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200 and all you have to do is call to reserve your spot today.  This event will offer classes on meditation, the myths of diets, proper stretching techniques, yoga, a sage burning ceremony and a free tea and snack bar. Midnight the therapy dog will be there to comfort your souls and make you smile. This will be the fourth wellness event.  For those of you that have attended before keep on coming back and invite everybody you know.  If this will be your first time attending a wellness event be prepared to be delighted!

              I can’t think of a better way to help you meet your goals then by attending an event that will teach you so many wonderful ways to embrace wellness into 2020!  I personally will be running two of the five workshops offered and would love for all of you readers to come out to this amazing opportunity to enhance your wellbeing. I’m very excited to share all the facets of my very healthy lifestyle that have served me so very well for my life.  I will be discussing so many common sense ways to help yourself and just feel better so you can all improve the very quality of your life.  I look forward to seeing all of you there and sharing all of the secrets that have provided me and my patients with a life of quality and joy!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Meditation is a Natural Way to Wellness

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I have been meditating most of my life.  I have been aware for years as to all of the benefits of daily meditation.  I have known for along time that daily meditation helps an individual focus better and manage stress better.  Recently, I was listening to the news and there was a story about a school district that has their students meditating daily.  They found a dramatic difference in how their students were able to concentrate and learn when daily meditation was incorporated into the student’s school day.  The other day a colleague was telling me about a study with the Dalai Lama.  They were able to show that meditation actually changes brain chemistry.   I personally would much rather meditate rather than use any other method, to adjust my mood or reduce my anxiety.

I must say that I’m very excited about these findings because they validate what I have believed for years.  Meditation takes daily practice and its’ effects can start early on, if done correctly.  True meditation occurs when one is able to clear one’s mind, by focusing on the deep breathing the individual is participating in.  Meditation isn’t a very easy skill to acquire but can be learned if the individual is serious. I meet so many people that are on medication for anxiety and depression.  I struggle with the concept of a magic pill for all that we suffer from.  Meditation is a much healthier and natural way of taking charge of you and your mindset.  On Saturday March 30 from 8a.m. -noon I will be facilitating a free wellness event at the Walnut Senior Center.  I will be teaching meditation as part of the event.  For more information contact me at (909)229-0727 or the senior center at (909)598-6200.  I hope you will join us for a wonderful morning of wellness and learn how to meditate and learn lots of other information about wellness.  Midnight the therapy dog will be helping me with the event.  We hope to see you all there!!!

  This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel.  You may call her at (909 229-0727).  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

2019: The Magic Year

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Happy New Year to all of you wonderful beings. Yes it’s a new beginning for us all.   It’s a chance to start fresh and finally become who you are meant to be. The New Year brings unlimited possibilities and new energy that helps us believe, the sky is the limit.  The New Year gives us hope and many new chances.  I say take these chances and make this year, the best one ever!

          Start this process by setting some small very obtainable daily goals.  Once you’re in the groove and have met the daily goals, now it’s time to set a realistic goal for the year.  You may or may not ever meet the year end goal but it’s all about the steps or the process that we take in our attempt that cause us to change.  That’s what I want you all to focus this year.  So what if you never get there all the way, you’re certainly moving in the right direction. Be proud of what you are able to do in 2018 and don’t beat yourself up for what you couldn’t do.

          I hope you will be good to yourselves this year and finally work toward who you are meant to be.  I want you to remember it’s all here for you and all you have to do is believe in yourself and go and get what you deserve.  So I dedicate this to all of you in hopes that this will be a magical year. I wish for all of you that you will get out there and find all the greatness that exists in you and our very wonderful world.  It all starts by believing in you and I believe in all of you and want you to be the very best you can be.  Make 2019 a magical year, the best year of your life!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Attitude is Everything

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist
Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Do you see a half filled glass as half empty or as half full?  Do you tend to see what’s wrong with your life or do you focus on what is right with your life?  Would you consider yourself a negative person or a positive person?  Do you wake up everyday being happy do be alive and hopeful about a new day or do you dread getting up?

            The way that you have answered the above questions is probably also the way that you live your life and the way you view your life. I believe having a positive attitude is foundational in being a successful human being.  Being positive,is essential to everything good that comes with this life.  I think it all starts by being positive about who you are and about behaving in a manner that makes you proud of whom you are.  Generally, if you like who you areand are a good person, people will like you as well.  Also, if you like who you are, you will wantonly the best for yourself.  This will cause you to go to college; get a good job, find a good mate and believe that you can make your dreams comes true.

            On the other hand, being negative only prevents you from following your dreams.  Being negative also causes a lot of self doubt and really gets in the way of accomplishments.  Learn to look at the good in your life and at what you have done right so far.  Learn from your mistakes but don’t focus on them, otherwise your life will feel like one big mistake.  Look at all that you already have going right for you and learn to build on the positive and if you do, more positive will come to you!!!!!

 This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A.,M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)2290727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

As Good As It Gets

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

 

Have you ever had a moment that just feels totally perfect?  Do you ever go through chunks of time feeling so in sink with the world?  Isn’t it just wonderful when you feel that blissful momentum just carrying though.  These are the times I believe that things feel as good as they can possible get.  This is the mode I strive to live my life in.  To me there is nothing quit as wonderful as feeling that just for a moment or a day that life is a good as it could possibly be? I think these are the times that we truly are so blessed to feel a little bit of heaven on earth.

It seems to me the more I live my life the way I’m intended to I’m honored with more and more of these as good as it gets moments.  For me they come at different times and during various activities.  I can be with a client in session and they finally see what they have been needing to see to heal and that is as good as it gets.  Just recently I took my ten year old grandson and my son to Knott’s Berry Farm and I watched my grandson light up as he experienced all the rides and our time together there.  To me, that’s as good as it gets.  My mother is still alive at ninety-two and hanging out with her, well that’s as good as it gets.  Every morning my dog Midnight and I go walking for miles and we start our day together out in nature and that is as good as it gets.  Every time I hear music or see something that ignites my spirit, I just know instinctually it’s a good as it gets.

I hope all of you get to experience this wonderful feeling.  It’s about striving to live the best life that seems to bring these perfect moments or chunks of time to us!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Be Who You Want to Become

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Change is something that doesn’t happen overnight.  Just for a moment I want you to think about who you long to be.  For me I always want to be happy and peaceful.  The way that I work on this is by trying to smile, laugh and appreciate every day and then I am happy.  I also try to do the things that I enjoy and always have some type of adventure planned.  This is a good recipe for happiness for me.  As far as being peaceful, I meditate daily and try not to let things irritate me too badly.  I also must always remind myself that I am only in control of myself and of my responses.  I don’t have the power to control others.  This seems to be an equally good recipe for inner peace.  Now I must keep in mind I am human and that there will be very difficult days that maybe my recipes struggle but must pat myself on my back for tying my best.

Now it’s your turn to think about who you want to be.  Get out a piece of paper and write down one characteristic that you would like to obtain.  My example to help you will be living a healthy life style.  This doesn’t mean a crash diet and working out so hard for a couple of days that you can’t move.  It means that you will eat a well- balanced meal, exercise consistently, drink lots of water, get plenty of rest, quit smoking, learn to drink alcohol in moderation, and manage your stress daily.  This plan may differ for each individual because it will need to be balanced around the demands of each individual’s lives.  My point is we eventually become what we do and how we behave!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Be Grateful if You Know How to Love Well

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Believe it or not, not everybody is raised with knowing how to love well.  My patients sometimes wish they had a different kind of heart that wouldn’t cause them so much pain.  I always tell them how lucky they are to have the capacity to love with such depth and compassion.  They tell me that their hearts can cause them so much pain.  I tell them how lucky they are to have loved so fully and yes that such deep loving can cause us pain.  Pain can be caused when we love that fully and we lose people to death, divorce or anything that causes that person to leave us.  I always remind them how lucky they were to have experienced that kind of love even for one second.  I remind them not everybody gets that.

The trick is to be grateful for every second you have with the people you love and create lots of memories.  Those wonderful memories will be with you even when the person or people are no longer here with you.  Please don’t close your heart off because you have been hurt because you have experienced some type of loss.  Keep your heart opened because you never know what you might find.  Don’t put up barriers and become cold and distant instead smile and feel the warmth of those memories.  Also be grateful for all that you have left.  This idea is also very important in successful grieving.

Now close your eyes and find the best memory of a loved one that is gone.  Don’t you find it impossible not to smile and maybe even cry some happy tears?  In order to keep experiencing this keep you heart opened to love and to all that is wonderful about this amazing thing we call life!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Being Okay With Letting Go

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

We hang on to our stuff so very tightly.  It seems as if our stuff actually becomes part of who we are.  I think it becomes the part of us that we don’t like very much, yet we have such a deep rooted sense of fear about letting go of all of it.  It’s almost as if we fear getting healthy, because our disfuction has truly ruled our lives for so very many years.  I think we actually fear living without all of it.

I understand what you are feeling and are so very afraid of, but I also know it’s what is getting in your way everyday of your life.  It gets in the way of what can turn an unhealthy relationship, into a healthy one.  It gets in the way of getting what you want for yourself from this dream, we call life.  It gets in the way of everything we seem to come in contact with.  It’s as if we are going though our lives numb, with a dark cloud hanging over our heads, always threatening to rain on us once more, for what seems like the thousandth time.  It feels like we’re in this never ending battle and there is no such thing as winning in sight.

I think as we get healthier, the people we are closest to, want to get healthier as well.  I hope you see that learning to let go of your stuff, as scary as it may be, is a win win situation for everybody in your life, as well as for yourself.  Decide, this will be the year you finally let go and stop living in the past, so you can enjoy today and all the days to come!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 9353818.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s latest book Live, Heal and Grow at Amazon.com.

Being Back In School

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I work with so many young people that have recently started school again.  They are all feeling a lot of stress due to the transition from summer to school.  The homework is coming at what seems to be a rapid pace. It’s important for these students to take one day at a time and to not overwhelm themselves.  Going back to school after summer break has been hard on every generation.  It’s important for these students to be well organized with a good notebook and a separate folder for each subject.  It’s a good idea for them to have a folder for work and papers that need to come home and another for what needs to be turned in or go back with them.  A place for pens and other necessary supplies is essential.

I find so many students really struggle with time management and are starting homework much too late in the evening after they have already been up for ten to twelve hours.  It’s ideal for a student to come home and have a good snack and start their homework about thirty minutes after they have arrived home.  I think if they can get their homework out of the way they might actually have part of an evening to relax and renew to prepare the right mindset for the next day.  It’s hard to a successful anything if one is running on fumes. Another important essential is a designated place to study.

Learning is really a lifelong event and it’s important to help somebody be an effective learner.  Being organized, not becoming over whelmed, learning effective time management and having an environment conducive to learning can make a huge difference.  As parents it is our job to help our children with these things so they can be successful lifetime learners!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Help Make This Your Child’s Best School Year

By Nancy Stoops

School has just begun and you already feel worried.  You worry about your child repeating last year’s mistakes and you wonder just how to prevent this.  You tell yourself you did all you could to get them off to a good start and now you know most of it is truly up to them.

Maybe this year you need to get them some tutoring or maybe even some counseling.  It’s important for a student to feel good about him or herself.  It’s important for a student to believe that they can be successful if they truly try their best.  I know it’s hard sometimes to figure out the missing component but don’t wait this year until they are at the point of no return.

If your child is being bullied or having emotional problems I guarantee it will get in the way of their academic performance.  Think about how it feels to go to work when you’re emotionally struggling, it’s just as bad if not worse for your child.  Don’t be afraid to talk with your child or to ask for some help. You may have to learn to ask very specific questions to get them to give you more than a” yes” or a” no” or an” okay”.

There are so many pressures on our children and teens today.  So many of the children and teens I’ve had the honor of working with just feel so very alone and different.  These feelings can really get in the way of their academic performance and in the way of them being successful adults.  Many of our students get into drugs and other bad things because they think that’s the only way they can make it through their days.  Make this the year you don’t ignore the red flags.  I know you are vey busy but you only have the here and now to help your child grow into a responsible and proud individual.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Are You Living to Die or Dying To Live?

By Nancy Stoops                                     

Our lives are truly about our mindset and how we view our lives.  I must ask you if you are living to die or are you dying to live.  These two ways for which people live sure do look and sound the same but they couldn’t be more different.  Take a look at the first one, living to die.  To me that means the person is merely existing and just going through the motions until they die.  I don’t believe there is much joy or quality of life with this style of life.  I believe a pretty unhappy and dissatisfied person lives according to the idea of living to die. Now on the other hand a person who is dying to live has a life of joy and quality.  I believe they are satisfied with their lives and appreciate each and every day they are honored with life.

 

So how do you live?  Which of these two mottos do you follow? It’s never too late to change.  It all starts by changing your mindset.  It starts by letting go of your past, forgiving yourself and others and on being grateful each and every day we are honored to be here.  As you begin the healing process your mindset will start to help you see all the good in everyday and you will start to feel empowered by the self- induced changes in you and the way you think.

I hope the change will start by reading this article.  I hope you believe you deserve a better life and use this as a road map to take you there.  I have faith in you that you can make the change and get the life you are worthy of!

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Getting Ready to Start School

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

In just a few weeks our care free summers will end and school will begin. The lazy late nights will be replaced by endless hours of homework and studying. Very soon sleeping late during the week will come to an end and rising early and on time, will be the goal.  Don’t wait until the evening before to change behavioral patterns.  Start right now on adjusting sleeping schedules and give your child or teen an advantage.  It’s really hard to make that sleeping change all at once and in one evening.

Getting organized correctly can be such a help for creating an organized student.  A good notebook with tab dividers and a separate folder for each subject within the dividers can be very helpful.  A pouch with the necessary writing implements, a hole puncher, stapler and whatever else will help is also very necessary.  I think some type of planner or organizer to write assignments down can really help as well.

Help you child or teen figure out why they didn’t meet the academic goals they had for last year.  Teach them to set daily, weekly, semester and annual goals that are realistic and obtainable.  It’s important to understand that many times just doing class and homework isn’t enough and that studying as well, is an important part of academic success.  I work with many young people in my practice and they seem to have a hard time asking their teachers for help because they don’t want to appear stupid in front of their peers.  Help your student find ways to get the help they need and in a way that they are okay with.  Remind then to tell you right away before they are failing and can’t raise that grade.  I wish you success this year!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Free Counseling is Available

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

For the past twenty years I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente Road in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6-8p.m. every Monday unless it is a holiday.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089 and my contact number is 909 229-0727 should you have any questions.  You do not need to have any appointment to attend this group you are all free to drop by anytime.  This group satisfies many court mandated needs.

Even though this group meets at a teen center I invite people of all ages with all types of issues.  This group helps parents, students, and all people that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to just make our community be healthier and make its’ population be effective in their lives and create successful human beings.  We work on any array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework or need some more effective ways to communicate this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back and finding solutions could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking this group is a great place to get some coping skills to get clean.  We talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging it can be for somebody’s self-esteem.  Bring in an issue and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the issue head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjsttops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Freeing Oneself

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Do you find yourself chasing your tail or taking one step forward and two backwards?  Do you seem to be living life if a very circular pattern?  What would need to happen to get you and to keep you moving forward?

We all have left over stuff that truly seems to become part of us.  It’s the stuff from our childhood or from a tragedy we experienced.  It’s the stuff that stops us dead in our tracks and spills over into all the other areas of our lives.

Now that a new year has begun make a commitment to start getting some help.  Find a therapist or a support group and really start working on your issues.  Think about how much healthier you could be by the end of the year if you started now.  Getting rid of the issues that stop you from being all you could be, is the best thing you could do for yourself.  It truly is the most precious gift one can ever give themselves.

Picture yourself free from the issues that once bound you and got in the way of the life you want.  Now think about why you haven’t started on your journey to freedom and to having a life and self that you have only dreamt of.  Are you afraid of what might be uncovered or do you dread the energy that needs to be put forth?  Now for a moment, think about how frightening it is thinking about never being free of all of it and never having the life that you deserve. For me, that’s even more frightening! I have faith in you and know you can and will do this.  I wish you well on getting your wings and on letting go of what keeps you from soaring high!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy dog on Amazon.net.

 

Apathy Is Deadly

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I believe apathy is the root cause for many of the problems in our world today.  What has happened to us and when did so many of us stop caring?  I know our world is hard and sometimes can feel like a very lonely place.  I also know that I come across many people that still believe in themselves, others and in our world.

I hate when I hear people just give up.  I hate when people just stop caring and seem to exist in a full time pity party.  Life throws us many things that get in our way but if we give up, then we have wasted our lives. I think we use apathy as a defense mechanism to stop feeling our pain.  I guess it’s easier to not care, than to feel our pain.  I guess it makes it easier to hide from ourselves by acting like we just don’t care.  Eventually if we are apathetic enough and for a long period of time, the people trying to help us might even start to leave us alone.  We may think this is what we really want but I don’t think anybody truly wants that.

I look at apathy as being emotionally shut off or wanting to show the world that you are.   We are here to live our lives to the fullest.  We are supposed to care and yes sometimes we can get hurt a lot but turning off emotionally helps nobody.   I hear a lot of people tell me they don’t care because there’s nothing they can do to make our world better.  I disagree, because as long as we still care then we will work hard to be the best we can be and to keep improving our families, communities and eventually our world!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Attitude Is Everything

By Nancy Stoops

Do you see a half filled glass as half empty or as half full?  Do you tend to see what’s wrong with your life or do you focus on what is right with your life?  Would you consider yourself a negative person or a positive person?  Do you wake up everyday being happy do be alive and hopeful about a new day or do you dread getting up?

The way that you have answered the above questions is probably also the way that you live your life and the way you view your life.  I believe having a positive attitude is foundational in being a successful human being.  Being positive, is essential to everything good that comes with this life.  I think it all starts by being positive about who you are and about behaving in a manner that makes you proud of whom you are.  Generally, if you like who you are and are a good person, people will like you as well.  Also, if you like who you are, you will want only the best for yourself.  This will cause you to go to college; get a good job, find a good mate and believe that you can make your dreams comes true.

On the other hand, being negative only prevents you from following your dreams.  Being negative also causes a lot of self doubt and really gets in the way of accomplishments.  Learn to look at the good in your life and at what you have done right so far.  Learn from your mistakes but don’t focus on them, otherwise your life will feel like one big mistake.  Look at all that you already have going right for you and learn to build on the positive and if you do, more positive will come to you!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)2290727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.