Dear Dr. Danice:

I have been going to therapy for months to combat depression.  I have chosen to keep this to myself.  When friends come to my apartment uninvited, I don’t answer the door.  I have also stopped returning phone calls.  Talking to people and answering their questions is too hard for me while I work on my problems.  I have only one friend who I feel good talking to.  She says I should just admit my depression so that everyone understands me, but I think even more people would bother me.

Alfonso

Dear Alfonso:

You have the right to process your therapy and your emotions in your own way.  You do not owe anyone an explanation about why you are operating in a standoffish way at this time, but this just keeps people checking in on you.  If you have friends you truly love, maybe you would consider sending them an e-mail or text message. Let them know that you are working through some things and that you will not be in touch on a regular basis.  Ask them to respect your need for privacy at this time.  I think this is a polite social obligation given to people who care about you.  Doing it once should be enough.  I hope you will be feeling better soon.

Danice Akiyoshi, ND

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi