By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I overheard my brother’s girlfriend trying to hook up with our cousin at a family party.  My brother and my cousin are best friends.  I told my cousin I heard what she said to him.  He told me not to worry about it because he was not attracted to her. I think we should tell my brother, but he said no, that it would just cause a bunch of problems.  I don’t want my brother to get hurt, but I don’t want him to fight with my cousin either.  Should I keep it to myself?

-P. L.

Dear P.L.:

If I were in your shoes, I would confront the ‘girlfriend’ and tell her that you’re aware of her shabby behavior.  Ask her to be honest with your brother if she is no longer interested in being in a relationship with him.  Make it clear that if you see or hear unbecoming conduct from her again, that you will share the details with your brother.  Try very hard to stay out of this sort of business.  It often doesn’t end well for the person in the messenger role.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.