By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I have been married for a year.  My wife and I are having a serious disagreement about how we handle food and grocery shopping.  She prefers to shop at the big warehouse markets so she can save money.  The problem with this thinking is that she has to buy extra large sizes of everything and she serves the same meal for a week (there are only two of us).  I earn a substantial salary so it is not necessary for her to be a frugal shopper.  She said that this is the way her mom did it, and I said that my mom made a fresh meal every night.  If anything was left over from dinner it was used for lunches or snacking.  We were raised so differently.  This is such a problem for me that I have started eating fast food on my way home from work just so I can have some variety.  When I get home, I choke down a little of her four or five day old chicken and wilted salad.  When she sees me dump most of it in the trash she gets mad and says I’m wasting food and money.  I have had to buy new clothes, too, due to the amount of fast food I’m eating.  For all I care, we could eat out every single night and it would not put a dent in our budget.  I hate to fight because my wife is off work right now with a disability, but this is affecting my health.  Any suggestions?

-Pete

Dear Pete:

Differences in upbringing can have a serious impact on a new marriage.  I agree that you should not dread the way you nourish your body, nor should you have to sneak around eating fast food and growing out of your clothes.  If you and your wife cannot get on the same page, I suggest that you take a firm stand and have your own meals handled in a way that is comfortable and healthy for you.  I wonder if your wife has a desire to be frugal because she is not working right now.  Before you do anything drastic, have a heart to heart talk and express how badly you’re feeling about the dinner situation.  Admit your deception with the fast food and state that you will not allow yourself to continue down that path.  If your finances are in great shape, you should not have to live this way.  Food is a serious and often personal issue.  Take immediate steps to get things turned around.  One person’s needs and choices should not destroy the basic happiness and health of another.  Make it clear to your wife that you will not interfere with the way she chooses to eat, but at the same time you will be choosing what’s best for you where your meals are concerned.  Call my office if you and your wife need further assistance.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.