Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

I work with so many parents of children and teens that are on probation. I see how frightened they are and how helpless they feel. One of the hardest times to get through, is when your child makes a mistake and becomes part of the system.

I see the parents having such mixed emotions of anger, disappointment, sadness, fear, embarrassment and many other emotions as well. I don’t think anybody likes to admit their child has made a mistake and has disappointed them. I think it must be very hard to have to go to parenting classes because the court makes that part of your child’s probation. Also, if your child can’t drive you must take them to counseling, community service, probation appointments, and drug and alcohol classes and so on.  I think for many parents, it must feel as if they are on probation as well.

The truth is I have done a lot of work with the department of juvenile probation and the juvenile court system.  I see the probation officials and the juvenile court officials working very hard to give the children and teens a second chance.  These officials want them to learn from their mistakes but seem to work really hard to not lock people up, that can be rehabilitated.  I have great respect for these officials and for the families that get through this life changing experience. I also believe that a child or a teen can really grow, change and become a better person from this very difficult experience.

My heart goes out to you if you are experiencing the helpless feeling I am writing about.  Take advantage of the positive changes that can occur from this hard experience.  Use probation, as a tool to help make yours’ a closer and more loving family!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.