Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi

A Letter From Melanie:

I earn my living as a preschool teacher, but I have a passion for writing poetry.  I submit my poems to various publications and several of them have been published.  When I share my exciting news with my friends and family it seems like they don’t really care.  My work was even included in a small poetry book that is available for sale.  I’m very disappointed that hardly any of my friends or family has bothered to purchase it.  I have always supported everything they do.  I have spent hundreds of dollars on their kid’s school fund raisers and they can’t spend $8 to buy my work.   This makes no sense to me. I am hurt.

Melanie G.

Dear Melanie,

I’m sorry you are feeling disappointed in your friends and family.  You are obviously a sensitive person who participates in the needs and accomplishments of your loved ones.  I have no idea why your family is unsupportive about your accomplishments.  This is not true for every family, but I see this sort of issue quite often in my practice.   Everyone suffers disappointment from time to time.  The way I handle an unsupportive loved one is to allow the issue to hurt my feelings for about 10 minutes.  If my suffering is severe then I allow 30 minutes.  I think about it, shed a tear, say a few curse words in my head, pace around, and feel sad, angry, resentful, and insignificant.  After the allotted time I stop and move on to another topic in my life.  Do you get where I’m going with this?  I process my feelings for the allotted period of time and then I let it go.  If it pops up again, then I do the same routine.  The hurt feelings usually fade after doing this process a few times.  Please don’t dedicate days of your life to feeling disappointed in people.  People are basically self focused and are busy taking care of the things that are near and dear to them.  If poetry is not high on their priority list then your accomplishment will get pushed aside. Do not let their lack of interest define you or your talent. If you are a kind person who puts effort into caring about the accomplishments of your loved ones, regardless of your personal interest, please stay that way.  The world needs people like you! Meanwhile, market your work to the appropriate audience and let the rest go.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her atstraighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.