Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

It’s that time of year when we all start setting resolutions for the New Year.  As we do this, we also wonder why we didn’t meet our resolutions from the last year.  Usually the reason we don’t accomplish resolutions or goals is because we make them unrealistic.  We also don’t give ourselves credit for accomplishing part of the goal.  For example, let’s say you wanted to lose thirty pounds this year, but you lost fifteen pounds.  I say that you were successful because you did part of what you set out to do.  I say that if we move in the direction of our goals, we are successful.  I also believe that if we are able to incorporate this mindset into our daily lives, we will eventually meet the entire goal.  On the other hand, if you feel that you have failed, chances are that you‘ll probably put the fifteen pounds back on that you originally lost and then really beat yourself up.

Be smarter this year, set more realistic goals, and remember that all good things take time.  More importantly, meeting a goal is usually about changing a habit.  It can take a while sometimes to successfully change a habit.  Think of your goals more as lifestyle changes.  If your goal is to lose weight or to get in better shape, think about how long you have had your bad habits and the fact that you are trying to make permanent changes in your lifestyle.  Don’t be so hard on yourself this year and learn to be happy with the baby steps that you accomplish toward the big goal that you have in mind.  Also learn to reward yourself as you accomplish each baby step.  Make this New Year the year you stop self-sabotaging and finally meet those life-changing goals.  I believe in all you and know that you can be and have what you deserve if you just follow my plan. Happy New Year!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.