Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.          

I have worked with many families that have had children on probation.  This can cause a lot of stress on the entire family.  There are many responsibilities that go with being on probation, and they vary with the type of crime that has been committed.  I have found that there usually seems to be some sort of private or group counseling, parental education, and/or community service required along with the probation.  In addition to the list above, anger management, drug and/or alcohol counseling and maybe some sort of weekend work program may be required.  It’s also important that the young person who is on probation does well in school, is following the imposed curfew and whatever other regulations the court papers specify.

I have talked with many families that have had children in juvenile hall or a work camp.  They have told me it’s very hard to go visit your child in such a facility, especially when the parents get to go home and the child has to stay.  Encourage your child to behave well when they are imprisoned.  I have known minor clients who are incarcerated obtain special privileges for good behavior, which can make the time go by faster.  If your child is on probation and is not imprisoned, remind them how serious it could get if they violate their probation.

Many parents feel like they really pay the price for their child’s crime.  Usually the parents have to arrange and get their child to all of the things the court is requiring, including attending parental education, paying court-related fees and fines, and paying for the service of an attorney.  I think everybody in the family pays when a child commits a crime. My advice is to try to become a stronger family and take advantage of all you are being asked to do by the court.  Maybe this crisis was necessary to finally get your family on track!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.