Danice Akiyoshi

“I betrayed my friend”

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I recently betrayed my dear friend.  I spoke ill of her to some of our other mutual friends and I am mad at myself.  I was frustrated and suffering a weak moment when we were all out having drinks at Happy Hour.  I believe one of the women who heard me is bound to tell my friend about my remarks.  I am a terrible liar, and I feel so guilty.  I don’t think I can deny it if she finds out.  What should I do?  I am losing sleep.

-Avis P.

Dear Avis:

The fact that you feel so badly about making a disparaging remark about your friend tells me a lot about your character.  If I’m right about that, I think your dear friend is pretty familiar with your decent character, too. Please meet with her right away, hopefully before she hears it from one of the others.  Explain that you were frustrated and having that weak moment and that you just feel horrible about the unbecoming comments you made.  Ask her to forgive your poor judgment.  Look her right in the eye and promise that it will never happen again as you apologize.  Make sure you keep that agreement.  Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.