Danice Akiyoshi

“How do I stay neutral in my parents’ divorce?”

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr. Danice,

I am twenty five years old.  My parents are in the middle of a divorce.  I notice that both of them are bending over backward to do nice things for me and buy me gifts so they can get me to be on their side.  This makes me mad.  I want to be close to both of my parents without having to choose sides.  Do you think this is possible?

Jena

Hi Jena,

Yes, I do think it’s possible to stay neutral with your parents.  Let them know that you are not open to hearing unsolicited negative comments from either of them.  In order to do this successfully, you will have to stay out of their business.  If they try to draw you in, gently remind each of them of your desire to love and respect them both as they work through this crisis in their lives.  You are not obligated in any way to wedge yourself in the middle of their marital issues.  Spend time with them individually and try to enjoy their company.  If they remain miserable, suggest that they seek some counseling or coaching individually in order to keep a healthy relationship with you.  If you need assistance, do not hesitate to ask for it.

Good Luck.

Danice Akiyoshi ND.