Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My favorite Aunt is having an all-expenses paid destination wedding this summer that will be quite luxurious.  I am looking forward to this event.  I know I should take my boyfriend as my guest, but my dearest friend’s family lives on this island. She hasn’t had the extra money to visit her parents in six years and I know this would be a dream come true for her.  My boyfriend doesn’t dance and never really enjoys himself when he accompanies me to weddings. He also tries to rush through the festivities and this annoys me. When I told him that I was considering taking my friend, he said that even though he hates weddings, he was looking forward to surfing and sightseeing and that would be disappointed to miss this trip.  He seems to be taking it for granted that I will take him, but I’m not sure this is the right choice for me.  Please help me decide.

Antonia G.

Hi Antonia,

You give clues that show your dissatisfaction with your boyfriend when you mention things like the way he rushes you through previous wedding festivities and refuses to dance with you at these events. You also state that he takes things for granted.  I have a strong feeling that you’d prefer to take your dear friend instead of your boyfriend.  If the only commentary your boyfriend has is that he wants to see the sights and do some surfing, then he seems to be self-serving and is missing the point of the whole event, “the wedding”. Perhaps you’d like to let him know that you would be happy to join him if he’d like to plan a vacation that includes surfing and sightseeing activities.  Remind him again that the main focus is actually your Aunt’s wedding and invite the person who would be the best companion to enhance the entire experience.

Have a wonderful time.

Danice Akiyoshi ND

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.