My family doesn’t support my medical decision

Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi,

I am dealing with breast cancer.  I’ve declined surgery, radiation and chemo therapy.  I am doing all the research necessary to make informed choices for myself.  My problem is my family and friends.  They are all pressuring me to listen to my doctor and start the regular processes and I want nothing to do with any of that.  It seems that I cannot even have lunch with friends or family without them lecturing me.  I am an adult in my mid thirties and I am capable of thinking for myself.  How do I get through to them?  I need support, not lectures.

Thank You,

Vickie

Dear Vickie,

You are taking a path that frightens your loved ones.  Surgery, radiation and chemotherapy are the accepted treatments for cancer at this time.  When people reject those treatments, it’s bound to cause conflict with medical practitioners and loved ones.  You sound certain of your choices so I will address your question of how to get through to your family and friends.  If I were in your shoes, I would explain to them that it is very stressful to be dealing with a serious diagnosis without feeling like you have to also defend your own personal choices. Let them know that you would appreciate their support, love and friendship as you tend to your health in your own way.  Express your desire to have their basic respect about your choices.  Help them understand that you take full responsibility for your outcomes and that you would just appreciate kindness during this difficult time.  After this conversation, if there is anyone who continues to upset you as you are working to recover your health, it is my recommendation that you put those people out of your personal circle for awhile.  You will need supportive positive people around you as you work to improve your immune system and improve your health picture.  Obviously, negativity should be avoided.

I’m wishing you a smooth path, Vickie.

Danice Akiyoshi ND

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.