Silently Sad

By Michael Armijo

I have been silently and solemnly sad lately. I miss my buddy. My BFF. But he’s in heaven. He made it. But I lose sight of the truth. So I try to fix it myself. These are the times when you sit solemnly while tears flow from your eyes. You feel overwhelmed and saddened by loss. By “how it could’ve been”. Or “how it should’ve been.” That’s when the bitter side of loss rears it’s ugly head.

So lately I’ve had distractions. I’ve allowed them into my mind. I’ve let them corrupt my spirit. My morals. I’ve entertained thoughts that are not in sync with what I should be honoring. The things that have given me peace and freedom are being neglected. Put to the wayside out of convenience and out of selfishness. So I cry for many reasons. Many failures. Many painful moments.

But it’s also refreshing releasing your emotions. So with the bad comes the good. I believe we just have to remember to let go and let God. To do a personal inventory of our morals. Then confess to our god our wrongs. Then make amends for what we’ve done. Help your fellow man. And then we must forgive ourselves and feel good about our ability to be a better human.

These are creeds I try to live by. Realistic goals that have provided me with peace and understanding. When people point fingers and accuse others of bad intentions because it’s their own world is upside down. Not because we are bad people. It’s their intention to take us off our higher levels of morality and drag us to their level of pain and sorrow. That’s the only way we can see darkness is by living in it. Those who accuse are usually the ones who commuting their own accusations. Living by hate in a faceless keyboarded environment can sometimes result in death by the same action. So change your ways by changing your intentions.

Yes. I had been sad lately. Silently. Solemnly. But I realize my weaknesses. And my strengths. And then I realize who really matters. My God. My family, or those who I consider my family. So I will “Amen” myself for having the ability to make life mine again by the grace of God. Amen.