By Melody Kraemer – Autism Mom

What is patience? According to Google it’s “the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.”

Growing up my patience was short, in fact, I was known as a kid without patience. As I got older that changed. When I had my two autism boys it really changed. Some people tell me I am the most patient person they know. I take this as a compliment.

Having children, especially children that are on the spectrum requires, I think, more patience than I actually have. But, I do try.

The main objective is to stay calm in the face of adversity, take deep breaths and remind yourself, you can get through this moment. My eleven year old can get so focused on something, have a breakdown, and create havoc. At that moment I must stay calm, have the patience within myself to calm him down and bring him out of the self-world he creates.

Many times he does not remember his behavior or words during this time. If I raise my voice, lose control it just escalates the situation. Many times I may silently cry but I do my best to exhibit patience.

My eight year old will have a meltdown and just cry and cry. He cannot communicate why he’s crying, or explain the meltdown, so again I have to remind myself to stay calm and hold on to my patience. It’s not easy and I will be honest, I do lose control at times and raise my voice, which I have learned makes things so much worse. The frustration for a mother not being able to help and just stand by while your child is hurting can be overwhelming.

Patience is not something that comes naturally to anyone. Patience is something one must learn and practice daily. Patience is a virtue.

We have it within ourselves to practice patience and calmness in a situation that may call for it. Patience is critical to diffusing a situation that could get worse without patience. Keep the soul calm, practice patience, be at peace, and love yourself. You don’t have control of people’s behavior, but you do have control over yours.  Practicing Patience is a must in parenting especially in the autism world.