By StatePoint

Frequent travelers can be all too familiar with the challenges of staying both healthy and productive.  Countless distractions, fast food joints on every corner and difficulty sleeping in unfamiliar places and beds can make staying on track a challenge. However, it doesn’t necessarily have to be such a daunting task, say experts.

“For frequent travelers and business travelers, being on the road is a lifestyle, so finding ways to be healthy and productive is essential,” says Marcey Rader, lifestyle trainer and Extended Stay Savvy Traveler. “The key is to recognize your poor habits, find out what works for you, and then develop a routine around them.”

From her years on the road with a corporate position, Rader developed a series of hotel hacks that can assist frequent travelers and mobile professionals wishing to travel productively while also maintaining high health standards:

Prioritize Sleep: When you’re dealing with different beds, sounds and schedules, it’s almost guaranteed that your sleep routine will be disrupted. Sleep soundly with a fan, a recording or even an app that creates white noise to eliminate distractions and calm your mind and body.

Give Blue Rays the Boot: 95 percent of people who don’t get a good night’s sleep say they use a phone or laptop within one hour of bed. Studies have shown that the blue rays emitted by phones and computer screens disrupt and suppress the body’s production of melatonin, a hormone crucial to sleep. Give your brain time to wind down before bed, you’ll sleep better and feel rejuvenated in the morning.

Stand Up and Work: You may have heard that “sitting is the new smoking.” Constant sitting is linked to an overwhelming number of negative health effects and drastically decreased productivity. Luckily, there’s a simple solution — standing. You can easily convert any space into a standing desk. Opt for a hotel with a kitchen and use the counters to get work done, or stack books and binders on a table for an elevated workspace.

Don’t Eat Like You’re On Vacation: The biggest mistake business traveler’s make is eating like they’re on vacation. Extended Stay hotels recently conducted a survey of their travelers and found that the average weight gain while on the road is close to three pounds. With frequent travel for business, that starts to add up drastically. Staying at a hotel with a fully equipped kitchen can help maintain nutritious habits. Stock the fridge with vegetable trays to snack on throughout the day, and hard boiled eggs as a breakfast item.

OHIO (Only Handle It Once): Do you go out to your mailbox, open the letters, put them back in the mailbox, go back in your house and repeat the process several times a day? Of course you don’t. Then stop doing that with your email inbox. Instantly increase productivity by deleting, archiving and sorting emails the first time you read them.

Seek Smart Accommodations: An extended stay-style hotel offers amenities that can help travelers optimize productivity and prioritize health.

Stop making excuses. For happier, healthier, more successful traveling, recognize your unproductive habits and fix them.

By StatePoint

Many kids love the prospect of learning, while others may need a bit of motivation. But parents can get kids on board with a little encouragement and creativity to make learning fun. Here are some ideas to get kids excited to learn.

Library Visits:  By making a run-of-the-mill trip to the library seem like a true adventure, kids will associate books with intrigue at an impressionable age. The librarian can point out the best titles for inspiring learning and fun.  Time visits to occur during your local branch’s storytelling hour or other early childhood programming. Also, be sure to sign your child up for a personal library card, which will be a source of pride at the circulation desk and put them on the path of reading enrichment.

Learning Tablets:  To give kids an extra edge in learning, consider a fun yet educational tablet, such as the InnoTab MAX. Durable enough for kids, this device has a 7-inch multi-touch screen, and features progressive learning content that adapts to a child’s age.  Web access and communication apps, which kids can use to exchange messages with friends and family, are limited to protect children, and parents are free to manage these controls. The tablet comes with Movie Maker and Art Studio, amongst other apps, and additional content can be found at the Learning Lodge app store.

Board Game Night:  After dinner, gather round the table a second time. From classic word games that challenge one to stretch the limits of his or her vocabulary, to trivia games testing science and world history knowledge, board games have the potential to bring the family together and also to educate. Be sure to check the box for age-appropriate guidance.

Wearable Tech:  Wearable technology can inspire kids to learn and be creative while staying active. For example, the VTech Kidizoom Smartwatch DX offers motion-activated games, a stopwatch, calendar, 3D clock face and calculator so kids can work out simple math problems. It also includes a time-telling app featuring a friendly owl that helps kids learn to tell time, and additional apps are available for download on the Learning Lodge. The internal memory offers ample storage for budding photographers and videographers documenting the world around them.

Sweeten the Deal:  Consider creating a rewards chart where children can track their progress as they meet learning goals. It can be an effective way to motivate kids to try new ways of learning and work hard to reach a goal. You can find many free downloadable charts online.

To make learning a priority in your home, get kids on board. They’ll be inspired when they see that learning can be fun.

By StatePoint

Pain in your brain can be a real headache. To avoid getting hit with a doozy, consider these easy tips.

• Drink water. Dehydration causes headaches, and most Americans are not drinking enough water. Drink your eight 8-ounce cups of water every day to drastically lower your risk of getting a headache.
• Cut back on the coffee. Coffee is one of the largest headache triggers, but most people like to begin their days by drinking at least one cup. Instead, try some peppermint or ginger tea — both of which you can also drink to cure a headache if it sneaks past your defenses.
• Relax. Stress is on the rise, according to the American Psychological Association. So it’s no wonder we get headaches so often. Put aside time every day to do something you enjoy. Some low-stress, rewarding options are taking a yoga class, volunteering at a charity or playing with a pet.

Headaches aren’t pleasant, but these prevention techniques will make your days better — not only by improving your health, but by increasing your happiness.

Photo Courtesy: Pinterest

By Claire Lewis

Summer is winding down, and now is the time to plan a fun get-together before the season ends. You don’t need to spend a lot of money or travel to exotic locations.  Enjoy a mini Staycation and invite family and friends to kick back and celebrate the end of summer.

Backyard ‘Beach’ Party:  Bring the beach to your friends!  Sprinkle a little sand over your patio, fire up the grill, plant some Tiki torches around the yard and set out towels and low-back chairs.  Even a kiddie pool to put your feet in will give off a beach vibe, and with a cool menu, your guests will have a party to remember.  Grill burgers, cut watermelon wedges and put them on Popsicle sticks, and put chips and other snacks in plastic sand buckets.  Whip up a fun summer punch, and get that party started!  Don’t forget to turn on Beach Boys music.

Sunset Party:  Short on time?  Invite guests over for a sunset-only party.  Set out chairs pointed in the direction of the sunset and serve a fun summer cocktail to toast the end of the day.  Have a fire pit?  Even better!  Serve S’mores with a wide variety of candy bars and different flavors of graham crackers to spice up your sunset.  Play a little cool jazz and you’ll have an elegant evening to remember.

Outdoor Movie Night:  If you have a white sheet and a projector, you can turn your back yard into a movie theater.  Set up chairs facing the screen or spread some blankets and pillows on the ground, and show a fun summer movie.  Serve gourmet popcorn (every try butter, parmesan cheese and a little fresh thyme? Amazing!), mini candy bars, and an ice bucket filled with old-time sodas in glass bottles.  You’ll be the hit of summer!  The movie can be changed toward your audience…Family Fun Night, or Adults Only.

Book a party now while the summer nights are still warm.  A fun event is just a backyard away!

Little things can easily derail your big moment if you don’t prepare, says Career Coach

By Lisa Quast

After months of responding to job postings, you finally land an interview.  This could be a pivotal moment in your life and career, so it’s natural to feel nervous. But there’s no reason to let stress rule the day.

Life routinely throws us curves, and that’s just as likely to happen on your job-interview day as any other day.  Traffic could be bad. You might spill something on the blouse you planned to wear. Any number of things could go wrong that aren’t directly related to the interview, but can knock you off your game.

While it’s not possible to anticipate every scenario, a little preparation can help you keep the anxiety level manageable.

• Know where you need to go. Don’t wait until right before an interview to make sure you have the correct address and phone number. Verify these online by checking the company website a few days ahead of time. You also should download driving directions or program the address into your Smartphone or GPS to find potential routes and estimated drive times. When in doubt, do a trial run. You can drive there the weekend before to get the lay of the land and see where to park.  Don’t rely on technology alone. Always have a hard copy with the address and driving directions, just in case GPS or the Smartphone fails you.
• Obtain the correctly spelled name of the interviewer. And remember to bring a printout of the job posting. It always surprises me how many people show up for a job interview and can’t remember the name of the hiring manager or even the job title of the position they’re interviewing for. Don’t be one of those people.
• Schedule enough time for the interview. Block your calendar so you won’t need to rush from one job interview to the next, or go straight to another appointment or back to work. The interview could take much longer than you think going in. For example, if things are going well, you might be asked to interview with others in the organization. Be sure to schedule ample time in case you need to stay longer. You don’t want to be stealing quick glances at your watch when you should be listening to what the hiring manager is saying.
• Turn off your cell phone. When I say off, I mean off – don’t put it on vibrate. Almost everyone can hear a cell phone vibrating in a purse, briefcase or pocket. You will be aware that a call is coming in for you. The people interviewing you will be aware. And you will be aware that they are aware.
• Take a bathroom break before the interview. Use the restroom before you leave your house and avoid too much coffee or other liquids shortly before your interview. If you need to use the bathroom when you arrive at the company, ask the receptionist to point you to them before he or she informs the hiring manager that you have arrived.

One additional thing you can do is give yourself a pep talk before the interview.  Mentally remind yourself of all the things you plan to do during the interview, the points you want to make about your experience and the questions you have about the company.

You may not be able to eliminate all the butterflies, but your preparation should help reduce the stress and let you concentrate on making the most of the opportunity.

Lisa Quast is a career coach, business consultant and author of the book, “Secrets of a Hiring Manager Turned Career Coach: A Foolproof Guide to Getting the Job You Want Every Time.” (www.careerwomaninc.com).

This Is No Trendy Diet – Power Foods Help Weight Loss, Improve Energy, and Fight Disease

By Manuel Villacorta

Detoxing seems to be the catch word of the day, with people subsisting on juice, tea, or some other liquid that is meant to flush impurities out of their cells. But, how does that work?  Since no one food or herb has ever been demonstrated to be able to detox the organs and I am not aware of any research that has been able to identify the toxins, if we have functioning skin, liver and kidneys we are detoxing every day. Even if a quick detox works for weight loss, the gains are short-term because you can’t stay on it forever. Any weight loss we see is because we’re not getting enough calories.
The key to healthy nutrition is variety. Far from drinking just juice for days on end, the way to help our body repair and restore itself is through a full range of healthy foods. The simplest way to think about this concept is color. The colors in fruits and vegetables are caused by phytochemicals, which have been shown to have a range of healthy properties. I recommend you eat all the colors of the fruit and vegetable rainbow.

Peruvian Superfoods are so beneficial because they are low in calories and high in nutrients. The good news is that Superfoods are becoming easier to find in supermarkets as demand increases, with more and more people realizing their health benefits. Superfoods promote weight loss, boost energy, enhance memory and fight disease – and when the weight comes off, it stays off!
———————–
“Health is not a diet plan, but a lifestyle. Understand your body, your strengths, and your limits and use this knowledge to make a change. Stop dieting, start living.”
 – Manuel Villacorta
——————–
Manuel Villacorta, M.S., R.D., is a nationally recognized, award-winning registered dietitian with more than 16 years of experience as a nutritionist, and is a respected and trusted voice in the health and wellness industry. For more information, visit WholebodyReboot.com.

By Sarah Sanchez

From shirts that show midriffs to bikini bottoms that only cover half of your bum – has anyone noticed the change in fashion trends? It seems like what’s “in,” is to show more skin.

It’s hard to talk to teens and young adults about going against the trend, but local youth pastor, Chris Kirish, at IgniteVPC, gave it a shot with a modesty-themed sermon last month.

Pastor Kirish talked about how bikinis were invited by French designer, Louis Reard, in 1946. Bathing suits at that time were more modest, only showing a small section of the midriff.   In fact, when the bikini was introduced, it was so scandalous that Reard couldn’t find a model to wear it.  He resorted to having an Exotic dancer being the first woman to ever wear a bikini in public.

Kirish went on to educate the students about a study that was done to determine what men thought of when they saw a woman in a bikini. Men in the study were hooked up to a machine and given a variety of pictures. When they saw women in bikinis or sexually-related clothing, the region of the brain associated with tool use lit up. Therefore, the conclusion of the study indicated that when women wear bikinis or sexually-related clothing, men see them as objects, not a person they can socialize with.

As a woman, I personally thought this study was eye opening on how important it is to dress modestly. Our youth looks up to us, whether we want them to or not. So if we’re wearing a bathing suit that looks like it could be underwear (or smaller than underwear), then our youth will do the same, thinking that it’s okay.

Getting a bad tan line in a modest bathing suit is the rising issue when this topic is discussed. But really, what’s more important: getting a good tan line (that you probably will be the only one seeing), or setting a good example to the youth in your life? Considering there are so many cute bathing suits and clothing that cover up, I believe that we can set a good example and still look fabulous doing so.

Many believe this is a controversial subject, but I believe that “Modest IS Hottest”. Does your wardrobe show where you stand?

…think like a kid

By StatePoint

Making school lunch can feel like a thankless job, but it doesn’t have to be a major chore. Here are some ways to make school lunches successful, not stressful:

Don’t Over-Pack:  Does your child come home with untouched food? For a distracted youngster, lunchtime flies by in an instant. By the time the bell rings, little Suzie has barely peeled the top off her yogurt. Keep portions kid-sized and don’t include more than four or five items in the lunchbox.

Think Food Groups:  Think of the lunchbox as a four-piece puzzle. The basic components are protein, grain, fruit/vegetable and dairy.  Try making lunch kebobs with cold cut slices and chunks of cheese (your dairy and protein groups), add a handful of grapes (fruit) and a bagful of popcorn (grain). Or pack hummus, carrots and wheat pita (protein, grain and veggie), along with applesauce (fruit) and a cheese stick (dairy). Olives or pickles add extra flavor without too much extra fat or calories.

Let Them Assemble:  Pack individual ingredients kids can assemble, which makes them feel like they’re more in control of what they eat. For example, include a half bagel with a container of shredded mozzarella, tomato sauce and some sliced olives or pepperoni slices so they can make their own pizza. Add a piece of fruit to round out the meal.

Pick Portable Foods:  Nothing’s worse than a lunchbox explosion. Whenever possible, opt for dry foods and tight lids. Pack trail mix, dried fruit, granola bars or snacks in single-serve cups, such as Pearls Olives to Go! black, ripe pitted or sliced olives. Such foods usually have the added advantage of not spoiling, which means they can be saved for afternoon snacking.

Keep Snacks in the Car:  Kids always seem to want an afterschool snack. If home is a bit of a drive, keep snacks on hand. Nuts, trail mix, single-serve olive cups and fruit are better options for a ravenous child. Keep in mind, hungry kids are more likely to try novel foods they might otherwise be reluctant to try.

Get Input:  If your child is not eating enough, find out why. Ask your child to create a list of foods every few months, as tastes change and broaden. Add favorites to the rotation. Remember, just because your child eats a certain food at dinnertime doesn’t mean it will be a popular lunch item.

Get Cute:  If you’re feeling ambitious, cut sandwiches into shapes. Sliced cherry tomatoes or olives make easy eyes, buttons and mouths. A simple post-it note with a smiley face or “love you” will go a long way to brightening your child’s day.

Lunch isn’t rocket science, but creating meals children will love every day can get tricky. Simple strategies can help ensure kids return from school with empty lunch boxes and satisfied tummies.

For more tips, recipes and coupons, or to enter a lunch box promotion for a chance to win prizes, visit http://www.facebook.com/PearlsOlives.

Help Keep Kids Healthy and Safe

Photo Courtesy: Google

By StatePoint

Back-to-school prep means more than a trip to the office supply store. Help kids stay strong, healthy and safe this school year by putting wellness front and center.

“Thinking about back-to-school now can help parents keep kids on track for a healthy summer and start to school,” says Dr. Sandra Hassink, MD, FAAP, President of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

With that in mind, Hassink recommends taking the following steps:

Ease into the School Schedule:  Ease the back-to-school transition by keeping bedtime and meals scheduled during the summer and adjusting timing as school approaches. If your child has been going to bed later than usual, begin adjusting his or her bedtime earlier toward the end of summer. Depending on age, children and teens need between 8.5 to 9.5 hours of sleep nightly.

For young children, arranging to see their new classroom and meet their new teacher before school starts can calm first day jitters. Go over the school schedule with your child, including how she will get to school and what the plans are for after school time.

Schedule a Pediatric Visit:  The back-to-school season is a good time for scheduling a pediatric exam. Create a list of items you want to discuss with your child’s pediatrician. This list should include ensuring your child is up-to-date on vaccinations, a crucial part of preventive care.

It’s a good idea to build a medical home with a pediatrician by sticking with one doctor or medical practice throughout childhood and adolescence. The doctor will be better informed of your child’s medical history and aware of any emerging problems.

Beyond medical testing, pediatricians are well-equipped to counsel patients and parents on emotional and social issues, as well as issues that often crop up during adolescence, such as smoking, drugs, drinking, sexual activity and depression.

“Parents can ask a pediatrician about anything related to the care of their child or teen, medical or not,” says Hassink. “The visit can be a good way to bring up these issues.”

Consider Sports:  Sports can foster confidence, cooperation and healthy habits, and the start of the school year brings many opportunities to join various programs.

Hydration, nutrition and proper conditioning are important for any sport, especially those with intense training in warm weather. Schedule a sports physical with your pediatrician to discuss your child’s overall health and how to prevent injuries.

Talk Safety:  If your child will be walking to school, travel the route with him to assess its safety. Find out about traffic patterns and crossing guards. Teach your child safety rules like looking both ways. If possible, have your child commute with an older sibling or neighbor. If your child will be riding a bike or skateboard, be sure he wears a helmet. Review basic rules for safer riding. Bus riders should also be mindful of safety rules, like remaining in one’s seat and listening to the driver.

As a parent, you can take steps to help ensure your children are prepared for a happy, healthy school year. More back-to-school tips can be found at http://www.healthychildren.org.

By Sarah Sanchez

My dad wrote a story when I was younger that was based off the popular phrase: the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. His story talked about not letting distractions get in the way of following our hearts, and that we should start watering our own yard instead of looking at the other side of the fence.

I always remembered this story growing up and tried to look at life with that perspective. But now that I’m grown and more aware of the world, I realize that this phrase applies to more areas than we think.

The society we live in is all about focusing on what we don’t have or what we don’t do. With social media all around us, we are constantly looking at other people’s lives and comparing them with our own – “Liking” what we approve of and commenting with our opinions of their statements or pictures.

We are also constantly striving for more (or better) in the workplace and at home. We want a bigger house, a smaller waist, bigger muscles, more pay, a higher rank at work, etc. Basically, we want what we don’t have. But what happens when we do get what we want? What happens when we achieve the goal that we originally set? Are we happy and content with our achievement, or do we set a new goal wanting something else we can’t have?

The sad reality is that most of the time we are not happy. We live life constantly looking on the other side of the fence, looking at the grass we don’t have and thinking that our grass is not nearly as green. Then we start seeking new grass. This is why many marriages fail, with one spouse finding interest in another person that seemed “better.” This is why many millionaires are never truly happy, even though they have more than enough money. This is why many struggle with anorexia and bulimia, because society tells us that thinner is better.

Society doesn’t tell us to go to counseling to fix the problems in our marriage, to seek happiness in things other than money, or to accept the body we have – no matter the size. Society tells us to do the complete opposite. But I think it’s time for us to stop looking at what we don’t have, to stop looking at the other side of the fence, and just water our own grass.

Wise decisions can start with noticing silver linings

By Steve Gilliland

The loss of a job; a bad break-up; a nasty accident; a new, obsessive habit; a big move to a new town; health problems experienced by you or a loved one – these are some of the many things that can turn your life upside down. These are some of life’s detours that you don’t expect.

Could there be a good way to respond to such turns in life? Is it honest to “look on the bright side?” Isn’t the root feeling hurt?

I don’t think most people could ask you to deny your feelings, but you don’t have to be led by the nose by feelings which have a primary characteristic of being temporary.

Life is change – it’s axiomatic. Most of us accept this on an intellectual, abstract basis. But when it comes to experiencing change, we often resist it. Fear of change causes immense, yet unnecessary, suffering. Personal growth and maturity are based largely on how you respond to life’s unexpected detours.

• Ask yourself about opportunity. We don’t like most of life’s detours because they force us out of our comfort zone. New duties at work or a request from a spouse may not only pique our defenses, but also make us wonder, “Can I do this?” Fear and anxiety may push us to focus on our weaknesses and convince us of what we cannot do. When we make a simple shift in mentality, however, we can empower the beginning of personal growth by seeing unprecedented challenges as opportunities.
• Are you willing to change? If not, then you can’t see opportunity. Change is inevitable, growth is optional. If your wife asks you for a more patient attitude, for example, will you grow with an open heart or dig your heels in. She may not divorce you if you remain stubborn, but your relationship will likely flounder. Seeing a challenge as an opportunity enables self-improvement. And, when it’s time to ask something of your wife, you will have currency with which to work. The same principle applies to work. If you’re asked to take on a new responsibility and respond well, you will gain leverage in your career.
• Can you envision something better? In the process of internally negotiating change, a positive vision can help you tilt the scales of change as something positive. The vision can be specific. If you don’t know how to use software at work that you need to use, imagine how much better your time will be spent once you learn. What will it take to get there? Practice. It may not be effortless, but you’ll have mapped out a solution. The vision can be broad, too. Is it possible to be more patient, in general, toward life’s detours? Indeed. Simply having more patience toward loved ones, for example, will improve your relationships tremendously.

Steve Gilliland is a member of the National Speaker Association’s Speaker Hall of Fame, and is one of the most in-demand and top-rated speakers in the world.  For more information, visit www.stevegilliland.com.

By Sarah Sanchez

We live in a world
where we can’t spend time with family
without looking at our phone
We live in a world
where we have thousands of “friends”
yet, we constantly feel alone

We live in a world
where we don’t know the time or directions
without relying on technology
We live in a world
where we’ll say and do everything
BUT actually admit we owe an apology

We live in a world
where we teach kids to speak their minds
but only behind computer screens
We live in a world
where they tell us our sexuality
is determined by our genes

We live in a world
where our kids can be kidnapped
outside the house within our community
We live in a world
where children are starving around us
while we’re calculating server gratuity

We live in a world
where we throw out food and water
because we feel full
We live in a world
where we take 30 minute showers
while others bathe in a lake or a pool

We live in a world
where people are greedy and selfish
because it is normality
But are you living IN the world
or OF the world?
What’s your reality?

How to lead a successful and satisfying life

By Linda Mornell

Teenagers spend a good chunk of their learning time immersed in such subjects as algebra, history, biology and geography.  But the march toward a successful and satisfying adulthood involves more than the ability to add numbers or read and analyze complex material.

Equally vital are skills that help young people develop character and give them the courage and fortitude to deal with the many challenges life will throw at them. During the physical, emotional and intellectual explosions of the adolescent years, it’s critical that teenagers develop a belief in their own ability to succeed.  People who truly believe they can perform well are more likely to view difficult tasks as something to be mastered rather than something to be avoided.

Skills and values that help lead adolescents to a more satisfying life can range from respecting their parents to understanding that making mistakes is part of life. Here are just five of the many skills that can make a difference:

• Learn to listen. The willingness to listen is a direct reflection of how much we value each other. Nothing teaches young people more about how to become good listeners than having a mentor or other adult who consistently and intently listens to them.  The ability to listen with intention and compassion creates and enhances qualities like curiosity, empathy and altruism.
• Understand and manage stress. Recent research indicates that the adolescent brain is highly sensitive to stress.  It is essential that young people understand the role stress plays in their lives and the difference between healthy and unhealthy outlets for handling that stress. Healthy outlets for stress include exercise, talking, crying, creative pursuits and venting anger through words and exercise in safe environments. Unhealthy outlets include withdrawing and bottling up feelings, overeating or restricting food, inappropriate aggressive behavior, relying on passive activities like TV and video games, alcohol and drug use, premature sexual activity, and blaming others.
• Embrace anger. Young people (and perhaps adults as well) who want to achieve success often try to keep a lid on negative emotions. Despondent individuals can find relief when they are given permission to appropriately vent their anger and frustration.
• Reject the victim mentality. Many young people struggle at times with feeling like victims. That especially can be the case for those growing up in poverty. In truth, they often are victimized.  They may live in a dangerous neighborhood with highly stressed and single-parent families, and every day they are confronted with the harsh realities of poverty.  The challenge is for young people to separate their experience of literally being a victim from the tendency to develop a victim mentality. They can’t control the former, but they can control the latter.
• Value humor. Adolescents are turned off by sarcasm from adults, but they have a great appreciation for humor. Learning to laugh at one’s self is an important skill for us all.

Linda Mornell is the founder of Summer Search (www.summersearch.org), a nonprofit organization that provides disadvantaged young people with challenging summer opportunities and life-changing mentoring.

By Sarah Sanchez

In today’s society, doing things “faster” is always promoted. The latest phone is faster; MapQuest gives us the fastest route; the latest hard-drive is faster than the one before; “get cash fast” emails are constantly sent; we want the weekend to come by faster; we want to know the quickest way to get promoted; we want work/school to end sooner, and on and on.  Basically, we are programmed to think that faster is better.

We are so used to this lifestyle, that we don’t even realize how fast time is really going by. After my niece was born and I was an aunt for the first time in my life, I said, “I can’t wait until she gets older so I can play with her and watch her personality develop.” But now that she’s about seven months old and crawling, giggling when you smile at her, trying to walk, and showing a clear personality, I wish time would slow down. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing, and now I just want her to stop so I can enjoy her at this age. But I remember my first wish was that I wanted her to grow. Do you see the contradictions that we all come across in day to day life?

Society will always tell us to go faster, but I think we just need to take some time away from what society says – away from the busy routines – and just slow down to enjoy what’s happening in front of us.

My husband and I just celebrated our first wedding anniversary and we went on a cruise to Ensenada, where we didn’t have cell phone reception or WIFI. We spent the weekend without phones and without social media. We spent this time talking with each other and enjoying each other’s company. When we came back, we had a new spark in our relationship, which we didn’t even know we needed.

My husband said that before we left, we were too caught up in our routine: work, dinner, sleep, and repeat. We were too caught up and focused on the future: house, future family, careers, etc. We needed time away from the world in order to gain a new perspective. We needed to slow down and appreciate the time we had with each other in the moment.

You may not have an opportunity to take a vacation, but you always have the opportunity to change your perspective. Instead of looking forward to tomorrow, take a moment to appreciate today. Stop, put the phone down, take a look around at your life and your loved ones, and enjoy the time right now. Then, cherish that moment, for these are the moments that make life worth living.

By Brian Mohr

The corporate world is susceptible to fads.  Work-life balance, a push to properly prioritize work in relation to lifestyle, features the kind of faddish thinking that can lead gifted people down the wrong path.

Think of those who love their job; for them, it’s not exactly “work” as they exercise their capabilities fully toward a goal that they believe in.

Finding the right fit – whether an organization is searching for leadership or an individual is seeking the right job – is more important than people realize. The problem of work-life balance starts farther upstream. When the appropriate person is aligned with the appropriate goal, balance is natural.

A concept like work-life balance is a claim on how we should prioritize our lives, which, if believed, can be confusing.

• Don’t buy into the notion of the “work you” as being separate from the “real you.” We spend 8.8 hours of each day working, according to the United States Bureau of Labor Statistics – the largest amount of time spent in any single activity (sleeping is second at 7.6 hours). Work-life balance enforces a strange notion that you are essentially different on the clock than off the clock, which hurts both employers and employees. Who wants this divided personality? Why not be yourself while doing what’s important – providing for your well-being and that of your family? Costumes are for Halloween.  In my line of work, I want to offer a leader who is authentic and not some impostor version of who they really are.
• Not everyone is working for the weekend. Rather than work-life balance, it’s more helpful to think of your role in a company or nonprofit as work-life symbiosis. Just do the math. Working nearly nine hours in a role that you do not like doesn’t stack up well with two days that quickly pass by (assuming you hate your job). How many years of your life do you want to waste not doing what would make you happier?
• Most important of all is aligning the right people with the right role. That means aligning the purpose and values of an organization to the purpose and values of the right people. Everyone owes it to themselves to find the right organization.
• Take a cue from your technology. In today’s world, we simply cannot compartmentalize different areas of our lives like people used to. You can communicate with your spouse at any time and know people better through social media than through real-life interaction. And, for work, most of us carry our work around in our smart phones. If not text messages, then we get emails sent to our phones.
• Whether through our technology or the software running in our brains, we don’t simply turn off work when we leave the office. We should drop the idea that “work” and “life” are somehow separate. They’re not.

Brian Mohr is co-founder and managing partner for Y Scouts (yscouts.com), a purpose-based leadership search firm that connects organizations with exceptional leaders. Y Scouts operates under the belief that people are the only real competitive advantage in business and the best employer/employee connections start by connecting through a shared sense of purpose and values.

By Michael Armijo

When I was growing up, I had a great friend named Todd Mestas. When I would go to his house, sometimes we would sit down to have lunch and eat a sandwich along with a few chips, a glass of milk, and two Oreo cookies.  If I asked for more cookies, Todd’s mother would simply say, “Two is enough.”  There was no need for overindulgence.  We would all eat together and function as a family.  My time with Todd taught me about limits and structure.

I also had a friend named Craig Swanson. Craig taught me about business, computers, repair and marketing. My time with Craig taught me about work skills.

Another friend of mine was Stephan Morrow. He reminded me of Tony Soprano, and would always say “come to papa” when I was sad or struggling. My time with Stephan taught me you can be tough and tender.

Mike Mendez was another friend of mine. Mike taught me about family, and how to be involved.  My time with Mike encouraged me to be a good husband.

My very best friend was Jeffrey Lowe. Jeff was a reserve Sheriff.  When I first started my company 17 years ago, Jeff encouraged me and helped me represent what I was trying to do.  At that time I was nervous and insecure.  My time with Jeff taught me about confidence and generosity of time.

My mother’s name is Marie Armijo. She used to tell me on a weekly basis that she wouldn’t know what she would do without me. She said that she will, and has, always loved me. My time with my mother taught me that I was always loved.

I grew up in a world of abuse and neglect, but all of the things that I learned from people that I cared about – and who I knew cared about me – helped me to get through my fears and insecurities.  Every time I would visit them, it would reinforce these life lessons.

Now, each of these individuals – so dear to me – has passed away within the last two years.  In this, I realized that a little piece of me died with each one of them.  I found myself empty and no longer knowing who I was.

It is interesting how we subconsciously react to certain tragedies.  Sometimes we don’t realize the depths to which death can affect us; personal loss can change us and give us a feeling that we have lost control.

Fortunately, I have discovered what these losses have done to me.  I now understand that I have not lost the value of my time spent with these loved ones.  Instead, I have the precious gifts that they unselfishly gave me.  Those gifts can never be taken from me.

As I reflect on the wonderful memories that I have surrounding these people, I will accept the grieving process and be thankful.  I will honor these individuals by being grateful for all the gifts that they have given me – for these are all gifts that make me who I am.

I remember a story I once read: A frog was sitting by a pond one day and a woman walked up and asked: “What’s wrong Mr. Frog, why are you so glum?” The frog went on to explain: “I was once a handsome prince, but an evil witch put a spell on me. Now I’m a frog until a beautiful woman kisses me and breaks the spell.”

The young woman, feeling compelled to help, leaned over and kissed the frog on the head. She waited for a few minutes and then said: “What happened? You’re still a frog.” The frog turned to her and said: “I’m only going to explain this to you one more time….”

The moral of the story is: If you believe you are beautiful, that’s all that counts. You may not have the ability to change frogs into princes, but if you believe you can, that’s all that matters. Although others may not see your beauty, as long as you see it, that is what counts. What matters is that YOU believe in your own beauty.

A physically beautiful woman can sometimes be uglier than any other, and can be morally and ethically ugly inside. But a wholesome woman with great morals and a loving heart will forever change your spirit, because beauty depends on what you’re seeking. And beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.

By Sarah Sanchez

I work with the youth ministry at our local church, so I’m around teenagers about twice a week, in addition to talking to them almost daily. As I’ve worked with the local youth, I’ve begun to understand that they have a lot more to deal with than when I was in school.

It’s a lot easier for a teenager to feel overwhelmed with the pressures of today’s society. To us adults, their problems don’t seem like a big deal because we know there is so much more to life with so many more responsibilities that our teens haven’t even dealt with yet. But a teenager doesn’t understand that.  When something significant happens, their whole world can feel like its falling apart – which can lead to serious depression or even suicide.

I like to think of a teenager’s life like a table with four legs. If you knock out one leg of the table, it will begin to fall.  In comparison, one leg represents one part of a teenager’s life. When you take a part of it away, their world starts to feel as if it’s falling apart, just like the table. If you knock down all the legs, they can feel as if there is nothing worth living for, which is what triggers the depression and suicidal thoughts. So understanding your teenager’s table legs is crucial to being able to help them.

Based on my experience, a teenager’s world consists of the following four table legs (typically in this order of importance):

Leg #1: Friends/Dating Relationships. I put these two in the same category because it’s usually one or the other. If a teenager is in a relationship, it means they are spending all their time with their boyfriend/girlfriend and aren’t spending much time with their friends. But if they aren’t in a relationship, all their free time goes to their friends. Of course, there are a few exceptions.

If your teenager just got dumped or is being excluded from his/her group of friends, it’s a big deal to them because this is their number one priority in life. They can’t just go off and sit with new friends. Have you seen the movie, “Mean Girls?” (“You can’t sit with us!”).  I remember sitting in the bathroom and eating my lunch by myself when my high school friends were mad at me, because that seemed better than walking up to a group of strangers to eat with. It doesn’t make sense, but a teenager’s brain doesn’t always make sense.

Leg #2: School. This is where your teenager spends most of his/her day, so it’s actually pretty important. If your teenager is a junior or senior, they have a lot of pressure with SATs (these are insanely hard now!), graduation, and college applications.

If that’s not enough, what also falls under the school category is social status, which is everything to a teenager. A lot of my students struggle with self-esteem issues because they care so much about what their peers think of them. And with teenagers on five different social networks at a time (yes, there are now five of them), it’s a lot easier for their life to be made public. If something in their life is posted on social media by a peer, it can not only jeopardize their social status and cause them to be isolated from their peers, but a mistake can even haunt them for the rest of their life (said in the dramatic voice of a teenager).

An example might be if your teenager decides to go drinking with their friends (oh, don’t act surprised; you were a teenager, too), and someone videos them drunk – that video can end up on any or all social media avenues. One click of the “Post” button can share the unfortunate incident with friends, who can share it with their friends, and so on – perhaps even going viral worldwide.  One post can change your teen’s life. Maybe they are even the ones posting the fate of someone else.  The guilt associated with either action can really affect a teenager.

Leg #3: Extra Activities. This category is for anything outside of school and friends, whether its sports, theater, work, or volunteering. These activities are very important to a teenager because they’re spending their free time doing them. So whether they are doing it for fun, money, or for their college applications, they are getting something out of it. But with the perks, comes the stress of succeeding in whatever they are pursuing. The competitiveness of today’s age can also cause a lot of stress too.

Leg #4: Family. Yes, sadly, family is usually last on the priority list (it’s nothing personal). With school, activities, and friends taking up most the day, there’s not much time left for family. However, even if you hardly see your teen, they are very aware of what’s going on at home. It’s probably my most popular prayer request: parents fighting, financial struggles, family feuds; the list goes on and on – I’ve heard some crazy stories. So imagine your teenager struggling with friends and the pressure of school or extracurricular activities, and then you top it off with them hearing about your marital or family problems. All this can push them over the edge with stress that they don’t need. If they are around this turmoil enough, it could affect them more than any of the other categories.

It’s important to understand how any of these falling legs can affect your teenager’s life. I suggest that you talk openly with your teens, even share your own experiences with them; and don’t take their depression lightly.

In my group of about 15 girls, almost all of them have admitted to being bullied, eight have suffered from major depression (53.3%), and four have admitted that they have either attempted or thought about suicide (26.6%). These are just freshman girls. They just entered high school and have already struggled with serious issues. Luckily, they are getting professional help now.

Is your teenager suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, too? Are they receiving the love and help they need? Have you taken a step back from your busy life to notice if they’re handling theirs?

Growing up, my dad used to tell me that no matter what I did, he and my mom would never stop loving me. He said that even if I falsely accused him of something and he ended up in jail for it, he would still love me. He told me this to make sure I knew that there was nothing in this world that was worth committing suicide for because I always had two people who would love me no matter what mistakes I made. That statement meant everything to me. Yes, I still struggled with depression and even suicidal thoughts growing up, but when it came down to it, I knew it wasn’t worth it because my parents would love me no matter what I did.

So, please, try to understand your teenagers (and their table legs) and show them unconditional love.  You never know if one day it might be too late.

By Michael Armijo

Recently, I visited the office above the tavern where my counseling sessions are held.  And once again, I have found useful knowledge.

Like-kind, quality people love the familiarity of others who match their emotional state. Subconsciously they seek out others who are feeling the same and have the same issues. In essence, they look for themselves.

I realize that lately I’ve been dealing with a lot of emotions that have come my way in many different forms.  From the standpoint of companionship, health, family – and recently the death of my mother – my emotions have been on a wild ride similar to an out of control rollercoaster. So I’ve found others who are also on this same ride and we hang on together, consoling one another, and giving each other free, bad advice.

This is why I believe we need to seek out our emotions, discuss them, filter out what’s unnecessary, and deal with what’s relevant.  In a way, it’s our duty to force ourselves out of the darkness and into a brighter life.  It’s certainly a better option.

Just as the sun tries to burn its way through a cloudy day, so must we. We need to continue to try and be a source of energy to one another as we work through our own emotional instability.