Tag Archives: Family Therapist

San Gabriel Valley: Having Some Faith In Our Youth

BY NANCY STOOPS 

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Soon they will be running our country and have children of their own.  Soon they will be telling their children all the things we told them.  I have had the honor of working with thousands of kids and teens of this generation and I’m here to tell you that they are amazing.

 

Now keep in mind there is good and bad in every generation, but I think we have misjudged this one.  Yes, some of them have dabbled with drugs and alcohol and some are even afraid to grow up.  On the other hand, many of them are working on making this world a better place.  The problem is we more often hear the stories about how they are shooting their classmates instead of some of their heroic measures.

 

Just as we did, they are crying out to be accepted and valued.  We shouldn’t put a label of lazy or frightened on this batch of youth because then they might become just that.  Instead we need to guide them and encourage them to grow into who God intends them to be.  This generation is very gifted in so many ways.  They care about making our world a better place, but are frustrated because they don’t know where to begin since we have so many problems.  I see many future psychotherapists, environmentalists, lobbyists, songwriters, singers, and attorneys.   I have had youth that are interested in pursuing careers in the mental health field come and observe my support groups.  I have had some even help me with my groups.  Mentoring can make a huge difference in a young person’s life.  Mentoring can offer hope and guidance.

 

Please don’t give up our or youth because that means giving up on our world.  Help guide and encourage them to grow into adults that we can be proud of.  Teach them to not give up on themselves because each one of them can make a difference.

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818.  You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com.

 

 

 

Inland Empire: Imagination

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I can remember gathering leaves of all colors and shapes, collecting sea shells, and anything else that one might find in the water.  I would fill up my wagon with water and create an underwater adventure for everybody to enjoy with the use of a snorkel and mask.  My friends and I would put on singing and dancing shows for the entire neighborhood.  My brothers and I would create backyard carnivals for everybody to experience.  I was always playing dress up and had the ability to become so many different people.  This dress up play helped prepare me for all the hats I have worn over the span of my lifetime.

I can remember my imagination was encouraged by my parents, family and friends.  I credit that imagination for who I am today.  I credit my imagination for making me a creative thinker and a person that always thinks way beyond the box.  As I was raising my son, Bryan, he always used his imagination in his play as well.  He would create the most wonderful lands in our living room.  His creations could literally make you feel as if you were transcended to another world.  We would spend days playing in the worlds he created.  As an adult, my son is one of the most creative people I have ever met.  His imagination was encouraged and totally supported in every way.

Universities are now looking for the well-rounded individual.  I think helping your child develop their imagination is an important part of becoming well-rounded and learning to think for yourself and out of the box.  Imagination is such a crucial part of play, but also a very important part of many careers.  Don’t allow technology to take the place of imagination.  Instead, find a way to incorporate both imagination and technology into your life and your child’s life.  Don’t be afraid to imagine.  Many times our imagination creates a path for our lives.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She also runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, groups for teens, and is available as a motivational speaker for employees and organizations.  For more information about any of these services, feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818.  You may also e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s new book, “Live Heal and Grow,” is available at www.RoseDogBookstore.com or at Amazon.com.

Inland Empire: Apathy Is Deadly

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe apathy is the root cause for many of the problems in our world today.  What has happened to us and when did so many of us stop caring?  I know our world is hard and sometimes can feel like a very lonely place.  I also know that I come across many people that still believe in themselves, others and in our world.

I hate when I hear people just give up.  I hate when people just stop caring and seem to exist in a full time pity party.  Life throws us many things that get in our way but if we give up, then we have wasted our lives.  I think we use apathy as a defense mechanism to stop feeling our pain.  I guess it’s easier to not care, than to feel our pain.  I guess it makes it easier to hide from ourselves by acting like we just don’t care.  Eventually if we are apathetic enough for a long period of time, the people trying to help us might even start to leave us alone.  We may think this is what we really want, but I don’t think anybody truly wants that.

I look at apathy as being emotionally shut off or wanting to show the world that you are.   We are here to live our lives to the fullest.  We are supposed to care and yes, sometimes we can get hurt a lot, but turning off emotionally helps nobody.   I hear a lot of people tell me they don’t care because there’s nothing they can do to make our world better.  I disagree, because as long as we still care then we will work hard to be the best we can be and to keep improving our families, communities and eventually our world.

 This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients.  Nancy also runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, groups for teens, and is available as a motivational speaker for employees and organizations.  For more information about any of these services, feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818.  You may also e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s new book, “Live Heal and Grow,” is available at www.RoseDogBookstore.com or at Amazon.com.

San Gabriel Valley: Designing Your Own Life

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

SGV — Why do you let everybody run your life?  Why do you feel you have no choices and that life can’t ever get better?  What is it that seems to keep you stuck?  How many times have you asked yourself these questions?  Let’s see if we can provide some answers.

I think we let others run our lives because we feel we don’t know how to. Out of fear, we allow others to run things for us.  In terms of feeling, we have no choices.  I think it’s just a bad habit of limiting our expectations and not having faith in ourselves.

I believe we stay stuck because we get comfortable even if we are miserable.  It also takes a lot of energy to change and many times we don’t want to put forth that kind of energy.  The alternative is to do nothing and to just stay stuck.  We ask ourselves the same questions over and over, and at the time, we tell ourselves that this time we will finally change.  I believe people mean it at the time they say it, but then they get lazy when it comes to actually doing the work involved to get to where they want to.

Please stop assigning blame to everybody and everything, except yourself, for why you don’t have the life you want.  We all have things that get in the way of our journeys, but it’s also up to us to overcome that adversity that literally stops us dead in our tracks.  I get so tired of people telling me they can’t when I know they can if they would try harder and fight for the life they want.  People are always putting off having the life they want by telling themselves that once they get though this or that, life will improve and be what they want it to be.  The truth is that all they are really putting off is life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services, feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818.  You may also e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s new book, “Live Heal and Grow,” is available at www.RoseDogBookstore.com or at Amazon.com.