Tag Archives: Marriage Counseling

A Gift From The Heart Is Priceless

By Nancy Stoops

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Times are tough for so many right now. I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money. It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody, you’ll give them this type of gift. The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves, much less somebody else.            Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season. Maybe I’m wrong, but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness – and those things are free. There are many ways to show love and kindness. This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them. I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for. I don’t spend too much, but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

I always love spending time with my family and friends, but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together. We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together. For us, the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other. We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well. Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family. We are all very sentimental, so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent. Just enjoy the holiday season!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Feeling Very Thankful Every Day

By Nancy Stoops

My last Thanksgiving was about as great as a Thanksgiving can be. I was surrounded by the people I love the most. The day was spent telling stories, eating great food, laughing and enjoying each other.

We had four generations of life celebrating with us. My grandchildren really made the celebration special and always make me feel so blessed. I sat and marveled at the wonderful man that my son has grown into. And my wonderful mother; I was so happy and thankful that my mom was still alive to help us celebrate another wonderful family holiday.

I have always loved Thanksgiving, but I need people to realize we should feel thankful each and every day of our lives.

The morning after Thanksgiving, Midnight and I went for our daily run. The air was so very crisp and clean, and the music on my MP3 player delighted every fiber of my being. Every once in awhile during the run Midnight would look up at me with such gratitude and joy, and I would pat his head and tell him what a good dog he is and how much I love him. It was literally a perfect morning and I felt so alive and filled with such thankfulness.

I think we need to work on really appreciating what we have and how very blessed we truly are. Take this holiday season slow and savor each and every moment.

As you start to think about New Year’s resolutions, think about making them about being thankful every day, not just one day a year. Think about all that is so very right about your life. Take just a few minutes as you read this article to realize how very blessed you are and that every day is a new chance to start over and to appreciate all the good.

I hope to see more and more people hopeful and thankful for the very rare and wonderful journey we call life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Depression and the Holidays

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays? This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true. Believe it or not, this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody. I remember as a little girl wondering how anybody could be sad at this time of year. Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us. This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends. This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away. This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time. It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year. There are many places you could go and donate some time. There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are. You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal – and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. This year, don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself, life is just too short. Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday. My point is, learn to help yourself, and you will give yourself the greatest gift you have ever received.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Travelling the World

By Nancy Stoops

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Ever since I was a very small girl, I always knew that I wanted to travel around the entire world.

It really all began when I was 17. I had graduated high school a semester early and then spent three months in Europe. At that point I became addicted to wanting to see the entire world.

Now, I have just two more continents to go. The plan is to see Australia this year and then, as I turn 60, go to Antarctica. I know I will always continue to travel, even though very soon I will have literally made it all around the world.

There are many ways to learn and I have experienced most of them. Travel is a very unique way to learn because you literally become part of what you are learning. There is no better way to understand a country or its culture than to become immersed in it.

I have gotten to know people from so many different walks of life, and have received blessings from a holy person within each of these cultures. I have also been part of many wonderful ceremonies and traditions, one of which involved dancing with goats in a Peruvian village. I will never forget my African Chief, my Thailand monk, all my shamans, and all the other wonder spiritual beings that I spent time with while being blessed. It has been my honor!

I also make sure that each journey comes with a close-up wild life experience. I have walked, fed and swum with 450 pound tigers. I have trained elephants, and swum with sea lions, sharks, and mantas. I have held the head of a cheetah in my lap for a petting session. This year I want to hold a koala and feed kangaroos. I love my life, and travelling really enriches it.

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Six of my neighbors have season tickets to watch a professional sports team that is almost an hour away. They always invite me because I have a large vehicle and I’m willing to be the designated driver. My boyfriend says they are just using me and that they would have nothing to do with me if I didn’t drive them. I really have a good time with my neighbors and I never feel used. It’s not a sacrifice for me because I don’t like alcohol. I wonder if he is mad because there is only one spare ticket and he can never join us. What do you think?

-Suzanna

 

Dear Suzanna:

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is negative. Why does he think that your neighbors would “have nothing to do with you?” Is he insinuating that you are flawed in some way, and only have value because of your vehicle and driving abilities? If you are enjoying yourself, then there is no problem here. If your boyfriend is often negative to the point where he tears you down, you won’t be able to remain emotionally healthy in his company. Look at this closely. Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

 

Midnight, The Therapy Dog

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Midnight’s amazing story is now available at amazon.com. My new book, Midnight, the Therapy Dog, will make you laugh and cry and delight your soul. The book is a beautifully illustrated story about how Midnight loses his family and himself for a while. My friend, April Cruz, a brilliant artist, did the illustrations for this book.

Midnight never gave up and one day he was rescued by me. At 2-years of age, Midnight tested with me and we became a registered pet therapy team. Midnight is now 7-years old, and he has literally made thousands of people feel better.

Besides working in my practice, Midnight also visits St. Jude’s Hospital and the cancer center in Fullerton. He even has his own I.D. badge with his picture on it. Midnight also helps me at both of my support groups.

Midnight’s story will inspire you to help animals in need and to never give up. This book talks about being a broken spirit, and with love and care, growing into a being that helps others.

I am so very proud of Midnight and honored to be able to work with him. This book is truly my tribute to him and to all the other wonderful animals that get rescued, and to the wonderful people that rescue them. If you are looking for a pet, rescue animals make the best ones. Midnight is an example of what a rescue animal can become with the proper training and lots of love and care. Go online or go to the humane society and rescue a pet; I bet they will rescue you as well.

With the holidays so near, this book would make a great present for anybody. Please go to Amazon and look at this beautiful book.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar. She is now accepting new clients. Nancy also works as a motivational speaker, and she provides free family support groups, including sessions for seniors and teens. She can also handle many court-mandated needs. Nancy and Midnight, her therapy dog, can be reached at (909) 229-0727, or via email at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow,” is available at Amazon.com.

Celebrating the Simple Things

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe that each day we have the honor of being alive is call for celebration. Every morning as I awaken and see the sun rising and filling the sky with majestic colors, I am reminded of how lucky we are.As I step out in the morning with Midnight, my therapy dog, I feel blessed for his friendship and for the health that we both have. As we start our walk through our wonderful community, I am proud to be part of it and I enjoy the morning song of the birds around us. As we walk, I enjoy the trees and flowers that represent life in the neighborhood.

Midnight and I are greeted by the other daily walkers with a friendly smile and warm hello. It’s so nice to be part of such a wonderful neighborhood filled with such lovely people.

Sometimes the other dogs will visit with Midnight as we make our way through our neighborhood, and that makes Midnight a very happy soul.

I think the feeling of the sun on my face is just magical. The fragrant plants and flowers are intoxicating and so very delightful. Swimming or floating in water has always been very freeing for me. Laughter truly is the best medicine and I think we all could do a lot more of it. Looking up at a night sky filled with stars and a full moon can be an experience that provides a wonderful kind of solace. Just hanging out with my grandson is fabulous.

These simple things I speak of don’t cost any money, but are literally priceless. I think if we all take time to appreciate the simple things that are so wonderful in our world, we will be more positive. I think we will not dwell so much on what is wrong, but focus on what is right!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

Mind Changing Meditation

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with her certified therapy dog Midnight.

Since I was 17 years of age, I have been meditating. I think it is the healthiest and most effective way to clear one’s mind. Meditation can be done anywhere and anytime and does not require anything but discipline and a willingness to be patient, because to achieve total meditation takes years. I love meditation because I don’t need to use pills or alcohol to relax and quiet my mind.

Some time ago, a school district did a study with their students and the effects of daily meditation. They found that their students were able to focus and concentrate better and in turn their grades and their test scores improved drastically. They found their students to be less angry and the number of school infractions went down as well. They noticed their students having a much improved mindset, being happier and more balanced. This idea could have a profound effect on students with Attention Deficient Disorder.

So take five minutes from your day and find a quiet place. Pick one word to focus on, and just think about that word. When other thoughts come rushing back in, go back to your word to push away the thoughts. Start with small increments of time and then extend the time you are meditating based on your newly acquired skills. I like the word, “peace,” as it seems to work very well for me.

I know that I’m a much more efficient human being because I have a pretty quiet mind, and I attribute that to all the years of daily meditation. The goal of meditation is to clear your mind of all thought, acquiring total inner peace. You will sleep better and feel much happier and more balanced.

So, do yourself a favor and start the daily practice of meditation today. I promise if you practice consistently you will literally transform yourself and your life. I wish you peace.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.