Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops

Dear Dad:  I’m writing to tell you about some things that have really changed this year.   I will always miss you and my brothers, but I have so very much in my wonderful life to be grateful for.

Mom is still here with me and I’m very grateful for her.  You picked a good mom for me, and I thank you.

I have this amazing son that I couldn’t be prouder of.  He has turned out to be quite a terrific young man.  If I could have hand-molded a son, I couldn’t have done any better than what I already have; I couldn’t ask for a better son.

I have a husband that would go to the ends of the earth to make me happy.

My best friend is my dog, Midnight.  He is such a blessing!  I honestly believe you sent him to me. He is so healing for me.

Oh, and my business has grown into something I could have only dreamt about.  I think you’d be amazed by how well things are going.

While I will always miss you, I have this new sense of peace around Father’s Day; I feel like everything is going to be alright.  I feel like I can breathe and that it’s okay for me to get on with my life.  I know you and the boys would want that for me.

I think this is how I honor your memory – by just being the best I know how to be.  So I will continue to do my best to make you proud of me.

I thank you for all that you gave me during your lifetime, and I am truly honored to be your daughter. I’m grateful for all the years that I did have you with me on Father’s Day!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops

People love to blame others for their failures or for why they haven’t become who they were intended to be.  We do this so we don’t have to accept responsibility for getting in our own way.  It’s much easier to convince ourselves that somebody else is to blame for our failures, rather than looking inward.

There is usually a reason we get in our own way.  Sometimes we get comfortable in our misery or in our failure to change.  I think there is some amount of fear that comes with change.  I think there are those that are afraid of success, because it comes with a certain amount of expectation.  For me, staying stuck is much more fearful.

I think about someone having so much potential, but never seeing that or becoming who they were intended to be.  You need to take a look at why you keep getting in your own way.  Do you fear change?  Do you fear success?  Do you fear becoming who you were intended to be?  Maybe you just don’t feel like you deserve anything more than you already have.  Whatever the reason is, you need to get out of your own way and stop preventing the good from coming.

You need to tear down the road blocks you have put up and begin to understand just how wonderful you are and how amazing life could be.  We all have the potential to be who we are intended to be.  The trick is to stop fighting with ourselves and give ourselves permission to overcome our obstacles and find our true selves.

What a beautiful world this would be if everybody would allow themselves to be who they are intended to be.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops

Imagine for just a couple of minutes that this your last day here.  You’re not in any pain and you are just recalling the events of your life.  Are you feeling content about the way you lived, or are you filled with regret?

I’m not trying to be morbid in anyway, I’m just trying to get you to think about how you’re living your life.  Do you seem to spend most of your days worrying about things you have no control over?  Do you find yourself constantly holding grudges when people make you angry?  Do you waste much of your time proving you are right?  Are you living in the past and use it as an excuse for not being able to move forward?

Take a moment and think about what it is that you want your life to represent.  For me, I need to have love, peace and a sense of purpose in my life.  I need to know that I make a difference.  I need not only to love and be loved, but also to be really connected to those I love.  I need to have peace in my mind, heart, and soul – and this comes with keeping things cleaned up in my life.  I don’t like it when I’m off from my loved ones, so I need to clean things up quickly.

I want to be able to look back at my life with no regrets and have a sense of peace knowing I lived life as the person I was intended to be.  I need to believe that I did everything I could to do my best and to be the best person I could here in this world.  Those are the thoughts I want running through me my last day here – and every day until then!

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops

In high school I had the honor of meeting two teachers that seemed to know who I was meant to grow into.

Mrs. Miller, my psychology teacher, told me that out of all the students she had ever had she taught, she knew I was meant to be a psychotherapist – and now I am.  She told me I had a gift and that I just seemed very skilled at helping people and understanding the root cause of their problems.

The other teacher was Mrs. Litton, and she was my creative writing teacher. She pushed me really hard and had me writing from my heart and soul about my life and my feelings. She would praise each piece I wrote in her class, and told me someday I would be a published author.  I now have three published works and have written this column since the paper began many years ago.

These two amazing teachers believed in me and saw who I could become if I believed in myself and worked hard.  I dedicate this article to Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Litton and all of the amazing teachers that make a huge difference in their student’s lives.  As the school year comes to an end, please understand that you all make a difference even though you may not get all the results you would like with all of your students.

The truth is, I’m forever changed because of these two teachers.  Two teachers that took the time to care, inspire and instill a kind of confidence in a young woman that made her believe they were telling the truth about her – and that she could become a psychotherapist and a published author.  Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Litton, I am forever grateful and both of you will live in my heart forever!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops         

Learning to go slow and embrace each and every moment can truly be a wonderful thing.  I think by living in the moment you can experience all of the daily ordinary miracles.  We live in a world that honors our senses with many ordinary miracles.  Ordinary miracles are free, and to me some of the best our world has to offer.

Let me share what I believe to be ordinary miracles:  I watch the sun smile upon us for another day and then at night it goes to bed, only to be replaced by the moon and stars.  I look at all the trees and flowers around my house and I think about how they grew from a seed.  The growing of a baby in a mother’s belly and their birth into this world is miraculous. I can sit for hours and watch the waves move in and out on the shore and am blessed with another miracle.  To me finding a soul mate or your kindred spirit is a life-changing ordinary miracle.

Now that I’ve shared a few of mine, I want you to think of some of your ordinary miracles.  Take a few minutes and write them down.

Now that you have a list of what you believe to be ordinary miracles, post the list in a room you are often in.  The next time you feel badly about your life, I want you to spend some time with the list you have made.  I think it is impossible to stay depressed or angry when you see all miraculous things in your life and in this world.

Stop focusing on what you don’t have and embrace those little everyday ordinary miracles.  I promise if you can do this, your life will be much more meaningful and joyful.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

I have done a lot of grieving work with various ages and losses.  These situations are all horrible and very hard to recover from.

The one we seem to struggle with the most is when a child or teenager dies.  Recently I helped a group do some grieving work over a 17-year old. One of the teens in the group told me it was very hard to see somebody his age die.  In the same group the parents in the room told me that teenagers shouldn’t die.

I have also worked with many people that have lost young children.  For them their child’s death feels out of order because as parents we assume we should die before our children.

I guess the truth is that it is never the right time for a person to die, but it does seem more acceptable when somebody is 80 or 90 years old versus 5 or 17.  We have such a hard time when a young person dies because they haven’t had a chance to live their lives.  Death in itself is a tragedy, but when it involves a young person it is doubly so.

I don’t know why some of the sweetest young people die early and some of the most horrible people live a very long life.  I also think many people suffer from survivor’s guilt.  I think this is especially true for parents that outlive their children.  It also seems to be true for the friends of the young person that passed away.  It’s nobody’s fault that you lived and your loved one or friend didn’t.

We don’t know how long any of us have here.  All we can do is love each other well and make sure we spend quality time together while we have the chance.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Almost every month somebody tells me a story about another teen committing suicide.  I can’t tell you how much this concerns me.  Yes, I had a brother that successfully committed suicide, but more than that it speak volumes regarding the severe depression that many youth seem to be suffering from.

Our world is different now. Technology offers wonderful things, yet it has hindered the way we communicate – especially our youth.  So many of them are relying on the friends they are meeting online to help them solve their very serious problems.  As good intentioned as these people are, they don’t have the skills or the knowledge to help somebody that is truly suicidal.

If you are reading this right now and you know of a truly suicidal person, go to an adult you trust who can assist in getting your friend some help.

The truth is most people don’t kill themselves at the lowest part of their depression.  They just don’t have the energy to formulate a plan.  The time they actually commit suicide is when they begin to feel just a little bit better.

I have done many suicide assessments.  I look to see if the person has a definite way they will do it and the means to follow through with the plan.  This is a person that isn’t playing around or threatening suicide for attention.  This person has put much thought into dying and how they will do it.  They make sure they have the pills, the gun, the rope, or whatever means they are planning to use.

I know it’s hard to see the truth, especially with our kids.  Please don’t believe the depression will go away on its own.  Please don’t ignore the warning signs.  Instead, insist that this person get some professional help before it is too late!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727, or via email at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s books, “Midnight the Therapy Dog,” and “Live, Heal and Grow,” are available at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

There is so much good left in our world.  I run into wonderful people daily.  In my eyes you don’t have to acquire super powers or wear a cape to be a hero.

For me, a hero is somebody that models all the good characteristics one should have.  A hero is a person that lives up to their potential and strives to be better each and every day.  A hero is a person that gives fully of themselves because it’s the right thing to do and doesn’t expect anything in return.

Look around and you will see plenty of everyday heroes.  You will find them teaching our children, protecting our community, mentoring others, saving lives and putting out fires, giving grants and scholarships, and modeling who we are intended to be in this world.

Giving unconditionally is one of the greatest gifts one can offer to this world.  It is the stuff that can make another understand just how important their existence is to this world.  It can literally save the life of another.

Sometimes people just need a break, and being an everyday hero can offer that break for another human being.  Don’t take your life for granted; instead strive to be an everyday hero.  It doesn’t require lots of letters after your name or a fancy college degree. You can make a huge influence by just being the wonderful person you already are and by sharing your kindness and compassion with another.

Our youth needs heroes and a sense of hope at this very chaotic time in our world.  It is our job to be everyday heroes and guide them.

Strive to be your best each and every day.  If you do this, I’m sure your innermost hero will be unveiled for the world to see.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I have worked with people that have survived horrific tragedy, such as rape or molestation.  Having something so awful happen to you, or somebody you love, can leave you feeling so very powerless.  It leaves you feeling very fearful and as if you have no power at all.

My power in the suicide and murder in my family was in the way I chose to respond.  This is true for anybody that has been through any type of unimaginable situation. We can make a conscious choice to not let it steal our lives from us.  There is so much guilt and shame in rape and molestation, and sometimes, being the one left alive when somebody you love has died.  We suffer from something called survivor’s guilt, but we have nothing to feel guilty about.

People tend to blame themselves when something really terrible happens to them.  The truth is, they are the victim – but they need to do something with all of that anger.

If you are in this situation, try really hard to forgive yourself for whatever lie you tell yourself about what you did to make this terrible thing happen to you.  Take back your power by refusing to let this horrible thing ruin your life.  Go and get help to work through it.  Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about being victimized.  Tell your story and report the crime, and maybe you will help someone else avoid becoming a victim.  The crime against you was horrible enough, so don’t punish yourself for being attacked.

Make today the day that you stop living like a victim and stop blaming yourself.  Today brings an opportunity to get help and to regain power over your life.

I promise you that you have the strength to work through this and to set yourself free!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

For the past 18 years, I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente Rd., in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6 to 8 p.m. (unless that Monday is a holiday).

Even though this group meets at a Teen Center, I invite people of all ages, with all types of issues, to attend.  This group helps parents, students, and all those that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to make our community healthier, and help individuals be more effective and successful in their lives.  We work on an array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework, or need some more effective ways to communicate, this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back; this is a place to find solutions that could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking, this group is a great place to get some coping skills to help you get clean.  We even talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging that can be for someone’s self-esteem.

Bring in an issue, and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the situation head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

All are invited, and you do not need an appointment to attend this group.  Additionally, this program also satisfies many court-mandated needs.

For more information, contact me at (909) 229-0727; or call the Teen Center at (909) 444-0089.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I have been a psychotherapist for 15 years, and have worked with people of all ages with various issues.

I’m constantly amazed when I have a child or teen brought to me for anxiety issues. We seem to have created a generation that feels very inadequate and struggles with growing up and being successful.  The issues this generation worries about are things my generation didn’t have to deal with.

Our colleges are impacted and hard to get into.  Now kindergarteners have homework and are expected to read and know many more things.  Video games and television are replacing playing outdoors in the fresh air and getting much needed exercise.  This outdoor playing is such a great way to reduce or eliminate stress.  Social Media, unfortunately, has made this generation very lazy, and childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise.

As parents and community leaders, we have a social responsibility to help this generation find a healthy balance in their lives in every area.  We need to support and encourage our youth.  We need to provide the necessary tools to help them strive to become their best.  We need to have faith in our youth, as so many of them are diamonds in the rough.  We need to give them the guidance and tools to help them shine and reach their full potential.

We need to teach teens that problems can be worked through, and that drinking and drugs are not a solution.  We need to teach them how to meditate – not medicate – to quiet their busy minds.  We need to teach them how to relax by finding balance, getting organized, prioritizing and effectively managing their time – and communicate what’s working and what’s not working in their lives.  Please don’t assume they are all pot-smoking, video game playing, lazy, worthless human beings.  They are just scared, and need some help finding their way!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

It takes an incredible amount of courage to start therapy.   Many people start, but leave just as they are really starting to deal with their core issues.

In order to really heal, a person must not only face their demons, but take them on and beat them. This is a scary yet very necessary process if one is to be free from all that holds them hostage.  I can’t think of anything worse than a life wasted because the person was too scared to take on their demons.

On the other hand, it is such an honor to help somebody walk through the journey that allows them to take on their demons and beat them.  It is a miracle to me and such a blessing that this is my life’s work.

Sometimes life can deal us tragedies that we think we will never recover from.  I think many things can stop us in our tracks for awhile, but I believe we are capable of healing from anything.  To heal from the really hard and awful things, we must have a strong desire to do so.

At 17, when my brother Rory committed suicide, I thought that was the end of me.  In my early 40s, when my brother Jeff was murdered, I was so angry I thought my anger would destroy me. Later in my 40s, when I saw my father through his last days, I thought my sadness was going to swallow me up.  I honor their memory by being filled with zest and being who I am intended to be.

It’s been a hard but priceless journey finding my way through it all, and it wouldn’t have happened without a lot of healing work.

Make today the day you start healing and finally living the life you deserve!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

It’s a very exciting time to be alive.  I love the fact that so very many of us are going back to yoga and meditation, and looking within for our own answers.

There seems to be this search for peacefulness and contentment.  There are whole new sections in the bookstores devoted to self-help.  Many of these books teach meditation and act as guides for teaching the whole concept of being mindful or present.

Let me start by explaining the whole concept.  If we think about somebody truly being present, they are what we refer to as, “being in the moment.”

There is nothing else going on in your mind and you are totally focused on what you are doing and saying.  You’re not thinking about what you need to do next or where you need to be; you just exist in that moment.  Think about the last time you were able to do this, or if you really ever have.

Meditation helps us totally clear our minds, and helps us be mindful.  If we can learn to keep our minds uncluttered, we will become much more effective human beings.  We will feel every aspect of our lives and begin to appreciate even the simplest things.

I recently attended a conference on mindfulness, and was told how much research is being done around the subject of meditation. It is being used to help people deal with pain, lower blood pressure, help with prevention for heart attacks and many other stress-related illnesses, give hope and strength to the terminally ill, and many other ways as well.

If you could find something that would improve the quality of your life and didn’t cost you a dime, wouldn’t it be foolish not to at least try it?

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

We all have dreams for our life.  Why is it that some of us turn our dreams into reality and some of us just keep dreaming?  Why do some of us find the motivation to make our dreams come true and others just give up?

I believe we are all capable of getting what we want from our lives.  I also think we all have the potential to grow into somebody that we are proud of being.  I think what sets a person apart is they believe they can, or they believe they can’t.

I find it very sad when I see somebody with a vision of what their life could be, yet they think they can’t ever obtain the life they are supposed to have.  This person somehow has never been taught to believe in themselves, and gets cheated out of the life they should have had.  This is where really effective parenting is so essential.  We also need to help those not so effectively parented to reach for the sky as well.  We need to not give up on our dreams, ourselves and each other.

Dreams can become our wonderful reality if we create a plan with the correct steps.  Think about every other goal that you have met and the plan that was made up of baby steps.  I promise you that if you have a dream and want it to become your reality, all you have to do is trust yourself and take the steps that turn dreams into reality.

The first step is having the faith and trust inside yourself to believe that you can do it.  Never lose sight of the already wonderful you, and think of your plan as just adding to that wonderful person!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

We are going through some hard times right now.  There are many people losing their jobs, their homes; and budget cuts to very important programs are taking place.

I still believe things can be turned around.  I still believe that people are basically good.  I still believe anything is possible with hard work and tenacity.  I refuse to give up in believing that all great things are possible.

They say people or things have to hit rock bottom before they will get better.

Take a look around in all that is still right with our world.  Take a look around at all the good that still goes on in our our community.

Please don’t use the state of the world as a reason to stop believing.  They say all things happen for a reason.  I don’t know why people have to suffer.  I don’t know why bad things happen to good people.  I just know that I believe in the good this world still has to offer.

I also believe our efforts to be our best do get rewarded.  It may take some time to see the results of one’s hard work.  Please don’t become a victim of apathy or anger because you feel every road you take becomes a dead end.  Remind yourself that there are unlimited roads to travel down and that eventually you will discover the right one.

We must learn to be happy with the baby steps that occur when we want change to happen yesterday.  Just for a moment, think back to a time that you thought would never change or get better; yet it did get better and so did you.

I have to believe things will get better.  We need to remember why we are here and how powerful we are.  We need to remember having faith in our world and each other is very healing and can lead us to finding that the right road.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

This week is my mom’s 90th birthday, and so I dedicate this one to my wonderful mom.

She is such an amazing woman.  No matter what life throws her way, she just keeps going.  She has lost both of her sons and her husband but she refuses to give up, and I admire her so.  She tries to enjoy each day and does it with a positive attitude.  I know it’s that attitude that has kept her alive.

Let me tell you about my mother’s heart.  She is so loving, kind, and is always giving to others.  She’ll always lend an ear to hear somebody else’s troubles and is just such a good human being.  She’s very generous with what she has and would never let anybody go without.  She’s continually helping her friends and her family.  She just wants the people she loves to have what they need and to be happy.

I’m very proud to have this wonderful woman as my mom.  She has taught me many valuable lessons and has always been there for me.  As a little girl, she told me I could fly, and I believed her.  She taught me there are no limits for what I can become and what I can do in this world.  She always praised me so that I would grow into a confident woman, and it worked.

So, Mom, I thank you for believing in me and teaching me to believe in myself.  It was those lessons I know have enabled me to become a successful human being. It was your words that made me never give up and settle.  I want you to know I wouldn’t be who I am without all of your love, guidance, encouragement, support, and all of the faith you have always had in me.  I want you to know that it is an honor to be your daughter, and that every year you are here with me is a gift!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

It is on behalf of dogs everywhere that I write this article.  Being the proud owner of Midnight – the black lab/black shepherd mix shown with me in my photograph – is truly a joy and honor.  Midnight is almost 8-years old and very healthy.  Midnight and I take lots of long walks in our neighborhood and he has many buddies along the way.  Some of his buddies are very well cared for and live safe lives.  Some of his buddies aren’t so lucky and are let out to walk themselves.

I can’t believe how many wonderful dogs I have seen without tags that are let out to walk themselves.  I can’t believe how many dogs end up hit by cars and die because they are illegally let out.  Legally, dogs are supposed to be licensed, vaccinated and leashed when they are out off their property.  They should be walked by humans that can help guide them on what is safe and what is not when they are outside of their house or yard.

A dog is a huge responsibility and an enormous joy.  Caring for a dog properly involves feeding them healthy food, cleaning them, vet visits, walks, licensing them, cleaning up after them, and always providing clean drinking water and shelter…and lots of love, affection and attention.

It’s not okay to have a dog – or any animal – that is neglected.  There have been many new laws passed to help protect animals, and people lose their pets every day because of neglect.

So I ask you to think about all of this before you get an animal.  I beg you to stop allowing your dogs to walk themselves.  I ask you to understand how helpless they are and how much they count on us to care properly for them.  Please take the time to be a responsible and loving pet owner!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

When we are young, we can’t wait to turn 18.  When we are 18, we can’t wait until we are 21.

Now that we are adults, we can’t wait to graduate college and get married.  Now that we are married, we can’t wait to have a family and buy a house.

We now have it all:  the family, the big job, and the big house.  Now we can’t wait until we retire.

Why is that we have such a hard time just living in the present?  It’s as if we are literally wishing our lives away.

People seem to believe the future holds the happiness that the present just doesn’t.  I always hear people say things will be different when I get past “that”.  So time moves along and they do indeed get past “that”, and from out of nowhere something else comes along.  Now they are thinking things will be so much better when they get past “this”. And so it is that this just keeps reoccurring.

Do you see a pattern here?  It’s called life, and it seems as if it is always giving us something that we must get through.

Life is not a neat little package; it involves a lot of hard work and challenges.  Even so, there are times that we don’t get what we think we really deserve.  Maybe these are the times to look at what we did end up with and realize it is even better.

We spend so much time looking at what we don’t have and feeling sorry for ourselves.  Life has a way of giving us what we need, if we just pay attention.  Things seem to work out if we are patient and willing to accept life’s challenges and live each day to the fullest.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

Just for a moment, picture your last day here on earth.  You’re not in any pain and you’re lying on your bed.  As the day goes by, you’re entire life is flashing by and you’re really taking stock of your life.  I want you to ask yourself, will you be content with your life or will you be filled with regret?

So once again, I find myself writing a very motivational article that is intended to wake those of you who always put off ‘living your life’.  I wonder what it is that you fear, and why you don’t understand that this is the only chance that you will get.

We seem to believe that we have many more tomorrows than we actually do.  All we really can count on is today, and the here and now.  Today is the day to start making your dreams come true.  Today is the day to start living a life with no regrets.

Don’t feel guilty because you have a dream and need to put energy into making it happen.  I mean, after all, dreams coming true are just our rewards for hard work.  I’ve seen many of my own – and many other people’s – dreams come true.  I believe anything is possible if you are willing to do the work.

To me there is nothing worse than a life filled with regret.  To me a life filled with regret is a life wasted.  Trust me when I tell you, it’s never too late to go after a dream.  Don’t tell me you’re too young or too old, but instead modify that dream for the time being.  I know that part of a dream come true is better than none at all.  Inner peace comes by living a life without regret, and so does happiness!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.