Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

It is on behalf of dogs everywhere that I write this article.  Being the proud owner of Midnight, the black lab/black shepherd mix shown with me in my photograph is truly a joy and honor.  Midnight is nine-years-old and very healthy.  Midnight and I take lots of long walks in our neighborhood and he has many buddies along the way.  Some of his buddies are very well cared for and live safe lives.  But some of his buddies aren’t so lucky and are let out to walk themselves.

I can’t believe how many wonderful dogs I have seen without tags and let out by themselves.  I can’t believe how many dogs end up hit by cars and die because they are illegally let out by themselves.  Legally dogs are supposed to be licensed, vaccinated and leashed when they are out off their property.  They should be walked by humans that can help guide them on what is safe and what is not when they are out of their house or yard.

A dog is a huge responsibility and an enormous joy.  Caring for a dog properly involves feeding them healthy food, cleaning them, vet visits, walks, licensing them, cleaning up after them, and always providing clean drinking water and shelter and lots of love, affection and attention.  It’s not okay to have a dog or any animal that is neglected.  There have been many new laws passed to help protect animals and people lose them everyday because of neglect.  So I ask you to think about all of this before you get an animal.  I beg you to stop allowing your dogs to walk themselves.  I ask you to understand how helpless they are and how much they count on us to care properly for them.  Please take the time to be a responsible and loving pet owner!

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

In just a few weeks, our care free summers will end and school will begin. The lazy late nights will be replaced by endless hours of homework and studying. Very soon, sleeping late during the week will come to an end and we will be setting the goal of rising early and on time. But, don’t wait until the evening before to change behavioral patterns.  Start right now on adjusting sleeping schedules and give your child or teen an advantage.  It’s really hard to make that sleeping change all at once and in one evening.

Getting organized correctly can be such a help for creating an organized student.  A good notebook with tab dividers and a separate folder for each subject within the dividers can be very helpful.  A pouch with the necessary writing implements, such as a hole puncher, stapler, etc., is also very necessary.  I think some type of planner or organizer to write assignments down can really help as well.

You should also help your child or teen figure out why they didn’t meet the academic goals they had for last year.  Teach them to set daily, weekly, semester and annual goals that are realistic and obtainable.  It’s important to understand that many times just doing class and homework isn’t enough and that studying is an important part of academic success.  I work with many young people in my practice and they seem to have a hard time asking their teachers for help because they don’t want to appear stupid in front of their peers.  Help your student find ways to get the help they need and in a way that they are okay with.  Remind then to tell you right away before they are failing and can’t raise that grade.  I wish you success this year!

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Do you see a half filled glass as half empty or as half full?  Do you tend to see what’s wrong with your life or do you focus on what is right with your life?  Would you consider yourself a negative person or a positive person?  Do you wake up every day being happy do be alive and hopeful about a new day or do you dread getting up?

The way that you have answered the above questions is probably also the way that you live your life and the way you view your life.  I believe having a positive attitude is foundational in being a successful human being.  Being positive is essential to everything good that comes with this life.  I think it all starts by being positive about who you are and about behaving in a manner that makes you proud of whom you are.  Generally, if you like who you are and are a good person, people will like you as well.  Also, if you like who you are, you will want only the best for yourself.  This will cause you to go to college, get a good job, find a good mate and believe that you can make your dreams comes true.

On the other hand, being negative only prevents you from following your dreams.  Being negative also causes a lot of self doubt and really gets in the way of accomplishments.  Learn to look at the good in your life and at what you have done right so far.  Learn from your mistakes but don’t focus on them, otherwise your life will feel like one big mistake.  Look at all that you already have going right for you and learn to build on the positive. If you do, more positive will come to you!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. She is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may also e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow, and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Every human being becomes attached to his or her story.  Some of our stories are about the joys of our life, others are about the horror.  Some of us grew up in families that made life safe while others had horrible things done to them that stole their safety.  We seem to literally be creations based on the pieces of our stories that have stuck with us.  All of us wish we could be born into a family that was healthy and whole, but many times that is not the case.  I treat so many people that were damaged as children and spend their adult years acting out the dysfunction.

Let me try and explain what I mean by example.  Let’s say when you grew up and one of your parents was an alcoholic and your role was to always take care of your younger siblings. You had to deal with the trauma that went with all of the drinking.  Let’s also say that you felt bad for the parent that didn’t drink and you always took care of him or her, and tried to prevent any harm to the family when your parent would drink.  It always seemed like no matter what you did, things would still go badly. Now let’s look at present day, you may have anxiety or panic when you see things start to fall apart and you feel like there’s nothing you can do.  This is now amplified because that could be exactly how you felt when you were growing up.

In order to stop this vicious cycle, one must learn to differentiate the past from the present and what the truth is.  The truth is you did your best as that child, but circumstances were beyond your control.  The truth is that as an adult, you are in control and you have the power to manage your life and your emotions differently.  Set yourself free from those lies that haunt you!

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

We all work really hard creating a lifestyle that provides us comfort and allows us to purchase the things that provide us joy.  For me, as much as I love my work, I need breaks too.  I usually take some time off in the winter and in the summer.  I love to do some travelling as well as stay home and just float in my pool.  I know that I’m due for a break when I start looking at the clock during sessions.  I know this means it’s time to put back into myself.   I know I need some rest and relaxation.

Burn out can happen in many professions.  I’m no good to my clients or anybody else when I feel empty.  This is when I know I need to spend some time floating in my pool or travelling to a new destination.  I love the warmth of summer and being able to spend some wonderful time in the water.  I love being able to be on vacation and just move at a slower pace.  When I take some time to relax, I’m a better and more effective therapist when I return to work.

I think if we run on empty for too long without allowing time for renewal, we can become resentful and some times even ill.  It’s important to listen when your body indicates it’s time for a break and it’s important to honor what is being requested of you.  Whatever needs to be done will be there waiting for you after you get rejuvenated.  So enjoy some down time and go out and just play for awhile.  Go to the beach, take an evening walk or do some travelling.  Reward yourself for all of your hard work and take some time just for you to rest, relax and to just enjoy yourself.  It’s the perfect season to put some time into yourself and to just go slower!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops 

I always travel every summer.  I travel so much that the only continent I haven’t been to is Antarctica, but I will traveling there in 2017.  This July I’m going to a dude ranch high in the Rocky Mountains in Colorado and then in October I will be going to Jamaica. At the dude ranch I will have the opportunity to ride horses twice every day and also have an overnight ride as well.  I will also have the opportunity to go white water rafting and to go fishing.  This week at the dude ranch is Native American week.  There is a Native American chief that lives on the property for the week in his teepee with some of the other members of his tribe.  I will have the opportunity to have conversations with him, make a medicine bag and collect and learn even more about medicinal uses of plants.  Finally at the end of the week, the ranch is hosting a Native American Pow-Wow.

In Jamaica, I will swim with the dolphins, parasail, snorkel, scuba dive and ride and swim with horses.  I have a private oceanfront suite, which will be very quiet and very good for my practice of daily meditation, along with watching sunrises and sunsets.  I love the beach and the delightful reggae music, which Jamaica is famous for.  I know I will spend lots of time in the water marveling at the underwater world and all the beauties that inhabit this magical world.

Most importantly, as a therapist, I need to recharge and I know these magical places will surely make that happen.  I also will have time to celebrate life and just being alive, which is very important to me.  I hope you will find some time to go somewhere special this summer to refuel your soul!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Imagine for just a couple of minutes this was your last day here on earth.  You’re not in any pain and you are just recalling the events of your life.  Are you feeling content about the way you lived or are you filled with regret?

I’m not trying to be morbid in anyway; I’m just trying to get you to think about how you’re living your life.  Do you seem to spend most of your days worrying about things you have no control over?  Do you find yourself constantly holding grudges when people make you angry?  Do you waste much of your time proving you are right?  Are you living in the past and use it as an excuse for not being able to move forward?

Take a moment and think about what it is that you want your life to represent.  For me, I need to have love, peace and a sense of purpose in my life.  I need to know that I make a difference.  I need not only to love and be loved, but also to be really connected to those I love.  I need to have peace in my mind, heart, and soul and this comes with keeping things cleaned up in my life.  I don’t like when I’m not on good terms from my loved ones and need to clean things up quickly.

I want to be able to look back at my life with no regrets and have a sense of peace, knowing I lived life as the person I was intended to be.  I need to believe that I did everything I could to be my best and to be the best person I could here in this world.  Those are the thoughts I want running through me my last day here and every day until then!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Midnight the Therapy Dog and Live Heal and Grow at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I grew up in love with the movie The Wizard of Oz.  My favorite part of the classic was when Glenda the good witch told Dorothy that she always had the power in her.  She also told her that she needed to believe in her power if she was to make her way home.

So let’s assume that Glenda’s theory is correct for all of us.  What if I was to tell you I think Glenda was not only right but really on to something?  What if you had the power to change yourself and your life?  What if you could actually obtain the life you want and deserve?  Now please understand Dorothy was able to just click her heels three times and she got her wish; it will be harder than that for you.  Your magic will begin with a newly found faith in yourself and in your capabilities, just like Dorothy.  I have found dreams come true when people begin to believe in themselves.

Please keep in mind that you are never too old to change and to grow into somebody you will be proud to be.  It may take forgiving yourself, letting go of all the reasons to fail and looking very deep within for that courage to change.  I personally believe a life of regret is much more frightening.  So look deep within and find that inner strength and confidence.  Take a look at all you have already survived and stop doubting your abilities, intelligence and tenacity.  Each and everyday put one foot in front of another and soon you will be exactly where you want to be.  Just for a moment, close your eyes and think about how great that would feel.  I believe in you and know you can do it!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s latest books Midnight the Therapy Dog Live, Heal and Grow at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

School is over for most children and it’s time for some fun and adventure.  Make this the summer you get your children off those electronic devices and outside to have some fun.  Make this the summer where everybody does some hiking in some beautiful scenery and where everybody spends some time in those beach waves or in the pool.  Make some plans for a day trip or if possible, a vacation away.

If you are low on money this summer, be creative about ways to create some fun outside.  We didn’t have lots of money when I was growing up, but I always had fun outside.  I loved when we would grill and eat outside as we would watch the sunset.  I don’t know why food seems to taste better when it is eaten outside.  My mom would even turn on the sprinklers and we would run through them; I thought I was in heaven.  I would also fill my wagon up with all kinds of leaves and rocks and I would put on a mask to pretend I was having an underwater adventure.

We have a huge pool at my home and my grandchildren love the dive sticks that you can purchase at target.  They love when we throw them in and they can dive to the bottom and retrieve them.

We do have some nice hiking trails locally so gather the family and put Fido on a leash for a walk. You can help everybody get more fit this summer.  You can take advantage of the concerts in the park, pack a picnic dinner, or spend a day at the beach.  You could also hop on a train and go south or north even just for the day.  Get everybody outside for some fun and for some adventures this summer!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

As a therapist, I am very blessed to be able to help people heal and then allow them to become the best version of themselves.  This is truly why I was put in this world.  As awesome as my life’s work is, please don’t underestimate the power that you all have in this world.  Every morning when Midnight and I are doing our miles of walking, we always run into people in our neighborhood.  It always amazes me how when they see Midnight, they smile and when I say hello and wish them a beautiful day, they light up.  It’s in that moment of connection with another being that we all have the chance to spread the good in our world.

You may not be a therapist, but each and every day you all have the power to spread the good in the world.  Saying hello and wishing somebody a beautiful day can make somebody’s entire day.  It’s such a simple act of kindness and goodness, and you don’t need lots of letters after your name to do this.  I chat with the crossing guards as they help Midnight and I make our way safely across the street.  I chat with my neighbors and everybody I can.  I wish them a good day and they smile.  It’s about giving the gift of joy and spreading the good. This will ultimately change someone’s day.  If you and I offer this gift, then hopefully they will pay it forward.

Yes, I am an optimist and I do have faith that we can change this world for the better.  It starts with you and me, and even Midnight!  Together we can spread the good and help everybody understand that they have the power to make our world a better place!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

It is on behalf of dogs everywhere that I write this article.  Being the proud owner of Midnight, the black lab/black shepherd mix shown with me in my photograph is truly a joy and honor.  Midnight is almost eight years old and very healthy.  Midnight and I take lots of long walks in our neighborhood and he has many buddies along the way.  Some of his buddies are very well cared for and live safe lives.  Some of his buddies aren’t so lucky and are let out to walk themselves.

I can’t believe how many wonderful dogs I have seen without tags and let out to walk themselves.  I can’t believe how many dogs end up hit by cars and die because they are illegally let out by themselves.  Legally, dogs are supposed to be licensed, vaccinated, and leashed when they are out off their property.  They should be walked by humans that can help guide them on what is safe and what is not when they are out of their house or yard.

A dog is a huge responsibility and an enormous joy.  Caring for a dog properly involves feeding them healthy food, bathing them, taking them to the vet, talking them on walks, licensing them, cleaning up after them, and always providing clean drinking water. This is in addition to sheltering them and giving them lots of love, affection and attention.  It’s not okay to have a dog or any animal that is neglected.  There have been many new laws passed to help protect animals and people lose their animals everyday because of neglect.  So I ask you to think about all of this before you get an animal.  I beg you to stop allowing your dogs to walk themselves.  I ask you to understand how helpless they are and how much they count on us to care properly for them.  Please take the time to be a responsible and loving pet owner!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

It’s a very exciting time to be alive.  I love the fact that so very many of us are going back to yoga and meditation and looking within for our own answers.  There seems to be this search for peacefulness and contentment.  There is whole new section in the bookstores devoted to self-help.  Many of these books teach mediation and act as guides for teaching the whole concept of being mindful or present.

Let me start by explaining the whole concept.  If we think about somebody truly being present, they are what we refer to as “being in the moment”.  This means there is nothing else going on in your mind and you are totally focused on what you are doing and saying.  You’re not thinking about what you need to do next or where you need to be, you are just existing in that moment.  Think about the last time you were able to do this or if you really ever have. Meditation helps us clear our minds totally and helps us be mindful.  If we can learn to keep our minds uncluttered, we will become much more effective human beings.  We will feel every aspect of our lives and begin to appreciate even the simplest things.

If you could find something that would improve the quality of your life and didn’t cost you a dime, wouldn’t you be foolish at least not to try it?  I recently attended a conference on mindfulness and was told how much research is being around the subject of meditation. It is being used to help people deal with pain, lower one’s blood pressure, help with prevention for heart attacks and many other stress related illnesses, give hope and strength to the terminally ill, and many other ways as well.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I have one child named Bryan.  Bryan, or should I say Dr. Stoops, will be 38 years old in July.  This past week, Bryan became an Assistant Principal at the high school he was working at.  He had been at another high school where no matter how great his work and qualifications were his boss just never gave him the promotion he was so very deserving of.  For at least five years he would get his hopes up and then he would be let down.  As his mother, it was heartbreaking to see him go through this.  He finally moved to another school where he was a Dean for barely a year and now they have promoted him to an Assistant Principal.

I am very proud of how hard he has worked on getting a Doctorate Degree and an Administrative Credential.  I am equally proud of his tenacity and how he never gave up on his dreams.  As defeated as he was made to feel, he never quit.  Most parents love their children and I love mine, but I also like who he is.  I have so much respect for this incredible man and his amazing spirit.  I feel better about this world knowing Bryan is in it.  I love seeing how confident he has become.  He has accomplished all of this while raising two children and running his Martial Arts school.

So this week I celebrate Bryan and tenacity.  Very rarely do I use this column to brag but this week I need to shout it out to the world how very proud I am to be this man’s mother.  I also want to remind all of you parents to have faith in your children and to continue to support them however you can.  So my hats off to Bryan and all of you that keep having the tenacity to make your dreams come true!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I met a young man that has just been in this country for one year.  He came here to get an education.  He is fifteen-years-old and a freshman at a local high school.  He came with his mother from China and his father stayed back in China to make a living to pay for his wife and his son living here.  He teared up as he spoke about not seeing his dad and grandparents often enough.  He spoke of how he wants to make his mom and dad proud, but there were tremendous expectations on him.  He has a long day of high school, then more school and tutoring after school.  He also has art lessons.

I was very impressed with him and his wisdom at fifteen.  He told me he doesn’t play video games and doesn’t use drugs.  He’s very disciplined and told me he loves watching funny movies to relax.  He struggles on tests because English is his second language, but the school is giving him some help.  He is determined to succeed for himself and his family.  He understands the sacrifices they are making so that he can get the education he is so very deserving of.  He wants his family to be proud of him.

His parents have done an amazing job with their only child.  He doesn’t use his struggles as a reason to fail.  At fifteen, his priorities are such as they should be.  He was happy and grateful for the opportunity bestowed upon him.   As I listened to him, I felt so hopeful for the future.  If there are more teens like him, I believe our world will be good in the future when my grandchildren are coming of age!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

Change is something that doesn’t happen overnight.  Just for a moment, I want you to think about who you long to be.  For me, I always want to be happy and peaceful.  The way that I work on this is by trying to smile, laugh and appreciate every day and that makes me feel happy.

I also try to do things that I enjoy and I always have some type of adventure planned.  This is a good recipe for happiness for me.  As far as for being peaceful, I meditate daily and try not to let things irritate me too much.  I also must always remind myself that I am only in control of myself and of my responses.  I don’t have the power to control others.

This seems to be a good recipe for inner peace.  Now, I must keep in mind that I am human and that there will be difficult days.  I must pat myself on my back for trying my best even if some days are worse than others.

Now it’s your turn to think about who you want to be.  Get out a piece of paper and write down one characteristic that you would like to obtain.  My example to help you will be living a healthy lifestyle.  This doesn’t mean a crash diet and working out so hard for a couple of days that you can’t move.  It means that you will eat a well-balanced meal, exercise consistently, drink lots of water, get plenty of rest, quit smoking, learn to drink alcohol in moderation, and manage your stress daily.

The happiness plan will differ for each individual because it needs to be balanced around the demands of each person’s life.  My point is we eventually become what we do and how we behave!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

I bet you think you don’t matter or make a difference.  I’m here to say you’re wrong.  Every interaction we have with each other matters.  Every time we smile or share a greeting we make a difference. Those very interactions can literally change the way another person feels about their day.  We still have the power to make the world a better place and to make somebody feel good.  I’m always given hope during those brief but powerful interactions with others.  The exchange of a smile can literally fill me with warmth and a wonderful glow inside.  Just for that brief second there is a very nice exchange of good energy between two humans.

Take a minute or two out of your day to say hi, smile, hold a door open, help somebody cross a street or perform any act of human kindness.  These acts really go a long way and can help you understand that you matter.  I value these acts and the people that have the social graces to perform them.  Please understand how much power you have each day to help make this world a better place. I hear heartwarming stories about people doing good deeds and I think about how much I value these people and their presence in our world.

Every time somebody thanks me for my work, their kind words seem to wrap around me and hug me and fill me up with such appreciation for my life and my work.  I so value the presence of the people in my practice and in my groups.  My group members are so supportive of each other and make a huge difference in each other’s lives.  I walk through my neighborhood and my dog Midnight and I have many very brief but meaningful interactions, which helps remind me how valuable humans can be if they take the time to connect with others!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

I know from personal experience that the loss of a loved one is devastating.  I know it can dump a person into a very severe depression.  It can make us feel like we just can’t go on and that life isn’t worth living without that loved one.  I have literally helped thousands of people heal from the death of their loved ones.  I know it’s important to understand that we must all leave this world when it is our time.  Death has not logic or fairness; it just is and it’s the hardest part of living.  I also know that we heal when we find a way to live that honors ourselves and our loved ones still here and our loved ones that have passed away.

The worst thing we can do is feel guilty because we are still alive but a very special loved one has passed away.  No matter what we do, say or feel, nothing can bring that loved one back to us.  All we can do is live our lives fully, live our lives for ourselves and for all of our loved ones that have passed away.  The truth is that our loved ones didn’t want to die and make us feel such unbearable pain because they are no longer here.  It’s very important to fully appreciate the life of a loved one when they are alive and with us.  One of the tricks of a successful life is to take nothing for granted, especially those closest to us.

So when you lose a loved one, grieve but don’t give up your life.  Remember we are all only here for a short time, so live well and love well and I promise you’ll have no regrets.  Don’t waste your life because we only get one time to do it all.  Tell people you love them, be affectionate and when they pass away, carry them in your heart forever!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.