Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

I believe we are all born with incredible potential to be our best.  I think that there is a plan for us and our lives when we are born.  Within that plan for us is an interpretation of how we will be at our absolute personal best.  My goal for myself has always been to keep growing and functioning at my optimum level every day.  I believe that if I do this, I will grow into the person I’m intended to be.  This is my way of honoring my life and my Creator.

Life isn’t always an easy thing and will throw many curve balls our way.  Having lost one brother to suicide, another to murder and a father to pancreatic cancer has taught me how vulnerable we all are.  It has also made me feel so very blessed to still be alive and well.  I don’t just want to go through my life living to die; instead I have always died to live.  I want to be my best so that I can experience my life fully.  I live my life very passionately and want to feel all of it.

Examining the pieces of yourself that get in the way of being who you are intended to be is very hard work.   It’s even harder work to have the courage to let go of these dysfunctional parts of ourselves.  Most of these dysfunctional pieces have been part of us for years and serve some dysfunctional purpose that we have grown to rely on.  It’s learning to let go of these dysfunctional pieces that will allow us to become who we are intended to be.  This gut-wrenching but very worthwhile personal work can lead us into total inner peace and contentment!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog are for sale at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

Sometimes I ask people if they are dying to live or living to die.  They are two very different ways to live life.  These two ways of living involve having two very different attitudes.  If you are living to die, you are probably a negative person and always see the glass as half-empty.  I also think these people are fearful and always looking for what is wrong.  I never want to be part of this group.  On the other hand, if you are dying to live, you are probably a positive person and look at the glass as being half-full.  I know, because I am part of this group. We love life and want to experience all of it.  Instead of being fearful, we are adventurous and excited about the possibilities that each day brings.

So, take a moment and think about how you live and which one of these two groups you belong to.  Now that you have your answer, are you happy or do you wish you could change?  The truth is that we are really the only ones that can change how we live and how we think about out life.  I know from experience that life can be hard and it can throw us many curveballs.  We have power in how we choose to deal with those curveballs.  It’s sort of like the idea of making lemonade out of lemons.  We have power in choosing how we will react.  I’ve heard time and time again, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.  Boy, is this the truth!

You can start changing your life by looking at what is right with your life each and every day.  Work on being grateful for all that you are blessed with.  Decide today to be happy!

 This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

For the past eighteen years, I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium, located at 21003 La Puente Road, in the city of Walnut.  We meet year-round from 6-8 p.m. every Monday, unless it is a holiday.  The Teen Center’s phone number is (909) 444-0089 and my contact number is (909) 229-0727, should you have any questions.  You do not need to have an appointment to attend this group- you are free to drop by anytime.  This group satisfies many court-mandated needs.

Even though this group meets at a teen center, I invite people of all ages with all types of issues to come.  This group helps parents, students, and many other people who are struggling in their lives.  My goal is to make our community be healthier, make its population be effective in their lives, and create successful human beings.  We work on an array of issues that many people in this day and age are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework, or need more effective ways to communicate, this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back- finding solutions could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking, this group is a great place to get some coping skills to get clean.  We talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging bullying can be for a person’s self-esteem.  Bring in an issue and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the issue head-on when you leave.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjsttops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.,M.F.T.

We started out as a family of five.  I had a mother, a father and two brothers.  I was the baby and the only girl.  At the age of seventeen, it all changed forever when my brother Rory committed suicide.  In my forties, my brother Jeff was murdered and then I watched my father die from pancreatic cancer.  I thought that it was finally over and that now I would be able to breathe, but it’s not over yet.

My mother and I have always been very different women, but now that she is ninety-one it has gotten almost unbearable.  She is very stubborn and can say and do very hurtful things.  I don’t know if it’s on purpose or because maybe there is some dementia.  Sometimes I look up at the sky and ask God, “Why me?”  On a good day, I want to take the fact that God and my family believe I am very strong and can handle all of this as a compliment.  On a bad day, I can throw myself a pity party and to my amazement nobody ever attends these parties but me.

I don’t have the luxury of giving up because I have a son, a husband, a dog, grandchildren, friends, clients and a community that counts on me to be strong and to be there when they need me.  So I ask myself from time to time how I find the strength, and I’m reminded of what I have already worked though and that I do have people that care about me and love me.  I must live in a way that honors the idea that God only gives us what we can handle.  I must dig deep within to keep finding more inner strength.  As I sit writing this article, I am reminded of who I am and what I have already gotten though.  So my message is, if I can do it so can you!  Look deep within and find the strongest you, and have faith that you can overcome whatever you may be going through!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.   Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727. 

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

I have been a psychotherapist for fifteen years, and I have worked with people of all ages and with various issues.  I’m constantly amazed when I have a child or teen brought to me for anxiety issues. We seem to have created a generation that feels very inadequate and struggles with growing up and being successful.  The issues this generation worries about are things my generation didn’t have to deal with.

Our colleges are impacted and hard to get into.  Now kindergarteners have homework and are expected to read and know many more things than we needed to.  Video games and television are replacing playing outdoors in the fresh air and getting much needed exercise.  Outdoor playing is such a great way to reduce or eliminate stress.  Social media unfortunately has made this generation very lazy and childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise.

As parents and community leaders, we have a social responsibility to help this generation find a healthy balance in their lives in every area.  We need to support and encourage our youth.  We need to provide the necessary tools to help them strive to become their best.  We need to have faith in our youth, as many of them are diamonds in the rough.  We need to give them guidance and the tools to help them shine and reach their full potential.

We need to teach teenagers that problems can be worked through and that drinking and drugs are not a solution.  We need to teach them how to meditate, not medicate, to quiet their busy minds.  We need to teach them how to relax by finding balance, getting organized, prioritizing activities, utilizing time management, and how to communicate what’s working and not working in their lives.  Please don’t assume they are all pot smoking, video game playing, lazy worthless human beings.  They are just scared and need some help finding their way!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

Do you ever feel like you just need to make a huge change?  Are you afraid and stay with your same old ways, because it’s what you have always done and how you’ve always been?  Maybe it’s time to have a personal revolution and really shake things up.  I think you can start your own personal revolution by making a list of what you need to keep about you and what you really need to finally let go of.  It’s time to revolt and personally attack those demons and the lies that hold you back from being a great and powerful you.

I know it sounds crazy to stage a revolution against yourself or against the pieces of yourself you are sick and tired of, but I don’t know of any other way to move forward if you are really stuck.  Fight hard and fight smart and do your interpersonal work.  What better day than today to claim the rights to you?  Stop letting others hold you hostage to being a lesser version of you.  Today is the day you take control of yourself and of your mind.  Has somebody made you doubt yourself?  Today is the day to fix that.  Today is the day you decide that you are proud of yourself and that you will fight to become the best you can be.   I know you can win that internal battle and you can revolt against all the lies.

You owe yourself this revolution and I know you can win.  The past is over, the future is uncertain, but the present is a gift that can help us unwrap our true inner being.  This is an inner being we can be proud of and can make us feel confident like never before.  This newly found confidence can help us see anything is possible and there will be no limits for us!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

Have you ever noticed how dogs take the time to really enjoy everything they do?  Dogs never seem to be in any sort of a hurry and are content just being with us.  I have also noticed dogs love us unconditionally and their sense of loyalty is miraculous.

I think we could learn a lot from these wonderful beings.  We need to learn to appreciate our time here and to enjoy each and every day.  We need to slow down and take the time to literally smell the roses and all the other wonderful scents our world offers us.  We need to forgive when others disappoint us, and not hold grudges.  We need to be able to give of ourselves to others and trust that they will take care of us.  I think being loyal is such an admirable trait- I wish I’d see it more in this world.

Have you ever watched the endless joy and comfort we give to our dogs when we slow down and just spend time petting them?  We think we are comforting them but in reality we are comforting each other.  In one of my groups, a gentleman told me he pets his dog when he gets angry and that seems to really calm him down and make him feel better.  I personally think it’s their way of trying to take care of us while also getting love for themselves.

I live with an amazing dog named Midnight.  He has taught me about naps, how to enjoy being out in nature, how to be silly, how to love unconditionally, how to love cuddling and how smelling each and every flower is a necessity.  His lessons have been very healing for me but never any more than Midnight himself. He is a constant reminder of how I am supposed to live a wonderful life!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow (A common sense guide to life) and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.

Midnight’s amazing story is now available at Amazon.com.  My new book Midnight the Therapy Dog will make you laugh and cry and delight your soul.  The book is a beautifully illustrated story about how Midnight loses his family and himself for a while.  My friend April Cruz, a brilliant artist, did the illustrations for this book.  Midnight never gave up and one day he was rescued by me.  At the age of two years old, Midnight tested with me and we became a registered pet therapy team.  Midnight is now seven years old and has literally made thousands of people feel better.

Besides working in my practice, Midnight also goes to St. Jude’s Hospital and the Crosson Cancer Center in Fullerton.  He even has his own I.D. badge with his picture.  Midnight also helps me at both of my support groups.  His story will inspire you to help animals in need and to never give up.  This book would make a great present for anybody.  Please go to Amazon and look at this beautiful book.

This book talks about being a broken spirit and with love and care growing into a being that now helps others.  I am so very proud of Midnight and honored to be able to work with him.  This book is truly my tribute to him and to all the other wonderful animals that get rescued and to the wonderful people that rescue them.  If you are looking for a pet, rescue animals make the best pets.  Midnight is an example of what a rescue animal can become with the proper training and lots of love and care.  So go online, or go to the humane society and rescue a pet and I bet they will rescue you as well.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, including a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may email her at nancyjstoops@verizon.net .

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A.M.F.T.          

I have worked with many families that have had children on probation.  This can cause a lot of stress on the entire family.  There are many responsibilities that go with being on probation, and they vary with the type of crime that has been committed.  I have found that there usually seems to be some sort of private or group counseling, parental education, and/or community service required along with the probation.  In addition to the list above, anger management, drug and/or alcohol counseling and maybe some sort of weekend work program may be required.  It’s also important that the young person who is on probation does well in school, is following the imposed curfew and whatever other regulations the court papers specify.

I have talked with many families that have had children in juvenile hall or a work camp.  They have told me it’s very hard to go visit your child in such a facility, especially when the parents get to go home and the child has to stay.  Encourage your child to behave well when they are imprisoned.  I have known minor clients who are incarcerated obtain special privileges for good behavior, which can make the time go by faster.  If your child is on probation and is not imprisoned, remind them how serious it could get if they violate their probation.

Many parents feel like they really pay the price for their child’s crime.  Usually the parents have to arrange and get their child to all of the things the court is requiring, including attending parental education, paying court-related fees and fines, and paying for the service of an attorney.  I think everybody in the family pays when a child commits a crime. My advice is to try to become a stronger family and take advantage of all you are being asked to do by the court.  Maybe this crisis was necessary to finally get your family on track!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.          

When we are young, we can’t wait to turn eighteen.  When we are eighteen, we can’t wait until we are twenty-one.  Once we are adults, we can’t wait to graduate college and get married.  Once we are married, we can’t wait to have a family and buy a house.  Then we have it all, the family, the job, and the house, and now we can’t wait until we retire.  Why is that we have such a hard time just living in the present?  It’s as if we are literally wishing our lives away.

People seem to believe that the future holds the happiness that the present just doesn’t.  I always hear people say that things will be different when I get past this.  So time moves along and they do indeed get past this, and from nowhere something else comes along.  Now they are thinking things will be so much better when I get past that. And so it is that this just keeps reoccurring.  Do you see a pattern here?  It’s called life, and it seems as if it is always giving us a challenge that we must get through.

Life is not a neat little package; it involves a lot of hard work and challenges.  Even then, there are times that we don’t get what we think we really deserve.  Maybe those are the times to look at what we did end up with and realize that it is even better.  We spend so much time looking at what we don’t have and feeling sorry for ourselves.  Life has a way of giving us what we need, if we just pay attention.  Things seem to work out if we are patient and willing to accept life’s challenges and live each day to the fullest.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. She is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

Once again, Happy New Year to all of you wonderful beings! Yes, it’s a new beginning for all of us.   It’s a chance to start fresh and finally become who you are meant to be. The New Year brings unlimited possibilities and new energy that helps us believe that the sky is the limit.  The New Year gives us hope and many new chances.  I say take these chances and make this year the best one ever!

Start this process by setting some small, very obtainable daily goals.  Once you’re in the groove and have met the daily goals, then it’s time to set a realistic goal for the year.  You may or may not ever meet your year-end goal, but it’s all about the steps or the process that we take in our attempts that cause us to change.  That’s what I want you all to focus on this year.  So what if you never get there all the way? You’re certainly moving in the right direction. Be proud of what you are able to do this year and don’t beat yourself up for what you couldn’t do.

I hope you will be good to yourselves in 2016 and finally work toward who you are meant to be.  I want you to remember that it’s all here for you and all you have to do is believe in yourself and go and get what you deserve.  I dedicate this to all of you in hopes that this will be a magical year. My wish for all of you is that you will get out there and find the greatness that exists in you and in our wonderful world.  It all starts by believing in yourself.   I believe in all of you and want you to be the very best you can be!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and is currently accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker, who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

It’s that time of year when we all start setting resolutions for the New Year.  As we do this, we also wonder why we didn’t meet our resolutions from the last year.  Usually the reason we don’t accomplish resolutions or goals is because we make them unrealistic.  We also don’t give ourselves credit for accomplishing part of the goal.  For example, let’s say you wanted to lose thirty pounds this year, but you lost fifteen pounds.  I say that you were successful because you did part of what you set out to do.  I say that if we move in the direction of our goals, we are successful.  I also believe that if we are able to incorporate this mindset into our daily lives, we will eventually meet the entire goal.  On the other hand, if you feel that you have failed, chances are that you‘ll probably put the fifteen pounds back on that you originally lost and then really beat yourself up.

Be smarter this year, set more realistic goals, and remember that all good things take time.  More importantly, meeting a goal is usually about changing a habit.  It can take a while sometimes to successfully change a habit.  Think of your goals more as lifestyle changes.  If your goal is to lose weight or to get in better shape, think about how long you have had your bad habits and the fact that you are trying to make permanent changes in your lifestyle.  Don’t be so hard on yourself this year and learn to be happy with the baby steps that you accomplish toward the big goal that you have in mind.  Also learn to reward yourself as you accomplish each baby step.  Make this New Year the year you stop self-sabotaging and finally meet those life-changing goals.  I believe in all you and know that you can be and have what you deserve if you just follow my plan. Happy New Year!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

I see the lady in the wheelchair at the post office collecting money for the Salvation Army and I know there is hope for the world.  I look at all of the fundraising going on to help sick and less fortunate children and my heart feels happy.  There are so many organizations helping all the wonderful animals in this world and they all make my spirit light up with joy.  As Midnight and I run through our community, people honk and wave and so many wish us a good day and my entire being feels so grateful for the honor of living and working in a community filled with such wonderful and caring people.

Every time I run one of my support groups I have the rare privilege of hearing people share their stories and as they share, they help others heal in my groups.  I see our community offering support for the people that live here and others offering to lend a hand.  I see breakfasts with Santa and snow being brought in to provide snow days for the children that live here.  I see the magic that lives in this world still.  Oh and the houses all decorated with lights and all the colors of the rainbow make me feel so very alive.

I guess you could say I’m loving this wonderful thing called life.  I guess you could say I love the holidays as well.  I think it’s a great time to see all that is right and good in our lives and our world.  I hope this article will make you stop and reflect on all of the good that is still in our world. Give the gift of helping people see all the good in this gift called life!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

Times are tough for so many right now. I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money. It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody you’ll give them this type of gift.  The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves much less somebody else.

Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season. Maybe I’m wrong but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness and those things are free. There are many ways to show love and kindness. This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them.  I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for. I don’t spend too much but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

I always love spending time with my family and friends but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together.  We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together. For us the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other. We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well. Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family.  We are all very sentimental so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent. Just enjoy the holiday season!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

The holidays for many of us are joyful and fun but that isn’t the case for everybody or every family.  I think especially with the way our economy is this holiday season may be hard for many families.  I wanted to let you all know that I run free support groups.  I run a group every Monday evening from 6-8 p.m. every week at the Walnut Gymnasium and Teen Center located at 21003 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089.  I also run a grieving group the first Friday of every month from 9-11 a.m. at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200.  Both of these groups are subsidized by the city and in turn are free to you.  These groups have been in place for over fifteen years and have helped thousands over the years.  All you have to do to participate is show up.  My Monday evening group handles many court-mandated needs as well.

So whether you’re feeling depressed during the season or just plain overwhelmed come to a group and find some support.  It can be very consoling to find out that you’re not the only one feeling the way you are during the season.  Just remember to not get so caught up in worrying about giving the perfect gift, or providing the perfect meal or worrying your house isn’t looking good enough to host a party.  Keep in mind that the season is just about sharing and spreading our love.  So focus on doing just that and don’t worry so much about not having a ton of money to spend on your loved ones.  We tell our children and loved ones to just to their best, well now I’m telling all of you the same.  Embrace the season and enjoy good times with your loved ones, all the while reminding yourself how very blessed you really are!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.
This holiday season, Midnight and I will continue our volunteer work at the Infusion Center at St. Jude Hospital in Fullerton.  I think it’s very timely because to me the holidays are partly about giving back.  We take a lot for granted and working with cancer patients makes you really appreciate life.  So this year if you’re feeling grateful or maybe even sorry for yourself and not so grateful, do something wonderful for a good cause.  Do something wonderful for somebody else.

I think the holidays are about getting together with family and friends but also about giving something back.  You can make a huge difference in somebody’s life by being unselfish and volunteering, donating or whatever your thing is.  The holidays are a special time to show this world how very much you care.  Stop complaining about the state of our world and get out there and do an act of kindness.  I promise you, it will feel fabulous and you’ll stop feeling sorry for yourself and actually feel good this holiday season.

Take that money that you’re planning to spend on drugs or alcohol and give yourself a different kind of medicine. Give yourself some medicine that is good for the soul. The kind of medicine that comes from helping others and understanding that’s what we are suppose to be doing here. What I speak of can be very healing and maybe you’ll begin to forgive yourself for all you’ve done wrong and start moving in the right direction.  Ending the year helping others can be a great way to motivate you to make 2016 a better and more productive year. It’s never too late to become a better person and somebody that you can be proud of. This year, give the gift of giving back!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (9090229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.  For lots of tips and advice for living fully, healing and growing into who you are intended to be, feel free to visit Nancy’s website at http://www.nancystoopsmft.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

Over my lifetime I have gotten hurt from time to time. Many times I will think one way and somebody else will see things differently. I know I hurt myself when I hang on to the hurt when somebody disappoints me or I disappoint another. I have come to understand that we are all human and we all make mistakes.

This last year when I had my near death experience I changed. I have always appreciated my life but now more than ever. I don’t want to waste time being hurt or angry. I want to learn to deal with things as they hurt me and learn to let go of them. I want to be free of anything that isn’t productive for me.

I guess coming so very close to death has really changed my perspective and has made me just a healthier being.

I find I keep my relationships cleaned up because I have learned how very fragile we are and that we just don’t know when our time here will be over. I have learned that it doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong as long as we are lucky enough to surround ourselves with those that love us and those that we love.

People seem to believe there is disgrace in admitting you are wrong and just apologizing to another. I am learning it can be a very humbling experience. I don’t want to live my life with any bad feelings between myself and another human being. I know I am going to make more mistakes and I will be doing more apologizing. I know I will need to be forgiving and hope others can be forgiving with me as well.

I hope this article will inspire you to forgive or ask for some forgiveness. I hope reading this will help you understand how precious our time here is. I want to spend my time here being happy and peaceful not hurt or angry!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops, M.A., M. F.T.

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is here next week already. It is truly one of my favorite holidays. I love the gathering of my special family and friends. I think about having a whole lazy day with my favorite people and I get very happy. We are all usually so rushed but on Thanksgiving we take our time together and that is a gift.

Having time to share with my loved ones is something I’m very grateful for. Having loved ones to share the holiday with is also something that makes me feel grateful. We sit together in my big house, with much more food than we could ever really eat and again, all I feel is gratitude. I look around the table and everybody is really enjoying themselves and I think how grateful I am and how special my loved ones are. I love when people have a really good time at my house. It fills my heart with joy.

I have lost all of my siblings and my father but this year I will not mourn the losses, instead I will be grateful for their memory and for the people I have left, to help me celebrate. I know I’m a very blessed woman and this year on Thanksgiving and every other day, I will be grateful. I will sit at the table and look into the faces of the people I love. The room with be filled with wonderful smells and so much laughter our bellies will ache. My heart will sing with joy as I have the honor of celebrating all my gratitude, with all of my favorite people I wish you the most wonderful Thanksgiving. This year, really pay attention to how blessed you are and just take some time to be grateful for everything!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

What is it that seems to set you apart from somebody you consider a successful human being?  Do you find yourself always doubting your capabilities?  Are you really willing to always settle for less than you really deserve?  Don’t you understand that you have wings and that you really could fly if you just believed in who you are and how capable you really are?

Please trust me when I tell you that there are no limits except the ones that are self imposed.  You can be and have whatever you desire if you set goals and just keep moving toward them.  If you do this, after awhile you will be who you want to be and have the wonderful life that you are so very deserving of.  Right now, this very moment make a promise to yourself that you refuse to settle anymore.  Today is the day that you will change that mindset that allows you to always be less and have less of a life than you desire.  Today is the day that you will discover your wings and each and everyday from now on you will discover how to fly.

I want you to become the author of your very own fabulous script for your life. Tomorrow is much too long to wait because all you really have is today.  Stop deceiving yourself and start being somebody you are proud of.  I know if you tell yourself the truth you will grow into somebody you really want to be.  I have witnessed the transformation of many and have had the honor of helping in the process as well.  Just know that I have faith in you and I know you can grow into who you are intended to be!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.