Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr Akiyoshi:

I have a problem sticking up for myself.  The words are in my mind, but I can’t get them to come out of my mouth when people are pushy with me.  I once bought $700 worth of silverware that I didn’t need, accepted auto financing that wasn’t in my best interest, and hosted a baby shower and a bridal shower for my cousin because my aunt was too lazy and dumped it on me. I’m the one that gets asked to take people to the airport at awful hours.  I’m the dog and house sitter, and the friend who is always asked to be the designated driver.  In short, I get taken for granted.  I like to be nice, but I’m starting to think I’m my own worst enemy.  What is your recommendation?

-Sincerely, Roberta

Dear Roberta:

First of all, I will say that I can tell you are a very sweet and gentle-natured person.  These are marvelous qualities.  Many gentle-natured people get taken for granted and many eventually learn to have healthy boundaries so they don’t feel abused.  Developing your sense of self worth would go a long way in helping you to stand up for yourself.  Once you have a workable set of skills, keeping yourself from constantly feeling compromised is no longer difficult.  There are many books and self-help courses available on this subject.  If you need additional guidance, I would be happy to work with you.  Good Luck, Roberta.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.