Surviving the Teen and Adolescent Years

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Every parent of every generation eventually deals with a child that becomes an adolescent and then a teen.  Everything seemed to be going so well and there was peace in your household.  One day your child wakes up and now they are an adolescent and they seem different.  Your very loving, smart, considerate, affectionate child seems to have a new family in his or her friends.  These people, some of which you haven’t even met, seem to be as important as the air they breathe. Sometimes these friends are involved in things that are not appropriate but our adolescent or teen gets very defensive on their behalf. Sometimes our adolescents or teens get in trouble with these friends.  We as parents feel as if we are losing control and so we start to take away electronics out of desperation.  Our adolescents or teens then rebel and start very disrespectful behavior.

The trick is to be a fair parent and to find balance in your parenting.  As parents we must continue to recognize what our adolescents or teens are still doing right even if there is some rebelling and disrespect going on.  If we only give attention for what they are doing wrong that behavior will continue.  If we can somehow still see the good and comment on that while correcting the disrespectful behavior, we have a chance for change.  This is also very important in helping to build a high level of self-esteem in our youth in general.  It’s also important to not hang on too tightly because eventually you will launch them into this world.  The goal is to plant seeds by teaching lessons that will eventually be applied toward their adult lives.  As parents we hope and pray these seeds will take and that our adult children will put more into this world than they take out and be good people!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at