My Fear Cycle

By Michael Armijo

While attending a Labor Day barbecue, I sat and talked with a group of interesting friends. As we shared our lives, one person mentioned that they were in training to be a therapist. When asked about how they were doing, they shared some points that I thought were interesting. The biggest question was “why do couples divorce or break up?” There were many reasons, such as money, age, frustration, lack of confidence, etc. But one point she shared grabbed me by the heart of my spirit.
“People don’t realize that we all have a ‘fear cycle’. What happens within our lives, especially as we get older, something happens to tap into that fear cycle”. And then she went on….. “We sometimes mistake someone triggering our ‘fear cycle’ as a change of heart or as a personal attack. This can ruin a marriage or a relationship unless you are aware of what’s going on.”
Our “fear cycle” includes unpleasant memories, traumatic instances, painful scenarios, lost love, and many other life impacting, unwanted experiences.
This concept intrigued me as I’ve never heard of it before. I’ve never heard about such a thought process. This cycle can include fears of abandonment, pain, fear of the unknown, misunderstandings, loyalty, anger, and so on.
I have experienced many of these, so in retrospect, I can see how so many have tapped into my “fear cycle”. I completely get it. It wasn’t their fault. It wasn’t mine. It’s a behavior that I must understand in order to not let it impact my life.
Understanding this has taught me a few things about myself: When I get depressed I feel awkward and lonely. I feel abandoned. And during these particular times within my life, I feel I’ve been attacked by family or friends. But I now understand that something or someone is tapping into that “fear cycle”
I believe that when you’re aware of something, you have a better chance of either understanding it, controlling it, or beating it all together. I believe in fate. God put me here for a reason, and he’s put me through many things for a particular reason. More importantly, as I struggle through life, I have a better understanding about what transpires because I try to understand it, figure it out, and then fix it. And most importantly, as I am spiritually attacked, and when incidences cripple my soul, it confirms that something or someone out there is trying to stop me from making a substantial difference within my life and the lives of others. This tells me that I am of value. An enemy would never attack anyone unless they feel threatened. I am a threat to the negativity of life because I hold special abilities.
The bible reminds me that I do not have to be prisoner to my “fear cycle,” that my spirit can take me somewhere else. “Fear and trembling overwhelm me, and I can’t stop shaking. Oh, that I had wings like a dove; then I would fly away and rest! I would fly far away to the quiet of the wilderness.”

Psalms 55:5-7.
So, without sounding over religious or over spiritual, I will admit that I will continue to pray and ask God for guidance. I will continue to push myself through the bad experiences, the painful memories, the poor decisions, and the hurtful people who continually try to hurt me. Because I will acknowledge and protect through prayer and faith the biggest obstacle that constantly tries to interfere with my life: my “fear cycle”.