Our Life

Friends—the best ones make you reexamine yourself.


By Julia Rohrabaugh

I remember getting this call from my mother telling me my friend had died. He was so close he was like a brother. He had been in so many childhood memories; he’s one of the people that made home what it was. I expected him to be in my brother’s wedding, to teach my kids how to rope, and be ready for a long chat every time I came home. Suddenly he was just gone. As I received this news everything around me went silent, I couldn’t stop myself from screaming, and tears began flowing down my face; the entire world was just me and my mom on the phone. I couldn’t hold myself up and started for the ground, but instead of hitting the chilled concrete, someone’s arms caught me and held me. I didn’t hear her come outside, but she must have heard something. She didn’t know what was going on, but she saw me in pain and just held me.

That moment always comes to my mind when I start to worry about something like paying bills, finding a job, or fighting with my sister. I was frustrated when I realized I was never going to get the memory out of my head. It’s only been a few months though, and now I am so thankful I still have it. I realized that this memory gives me a better perspective of my life. First, because it would take an incredible event to make me feel worse than I did after my mom called that day; but also because it reminds me of how I made it through that day and days after.

I had overthought friendship and love my entire life. Real love is actually very simple. We need people because life is just too difficult to get through alone. We need someone to share the hard times with, someone to listen, someone to say the honest truth because they want to see us be become better than we are. We need someone who understands, someone who makes us feel less alone, who makes us feel like our thoughts aren’t as silly as we fear. We need someone who believes in us—someone who reminds us of what we are capable of doing.

We all deserve someone, but to have this person, we also need to be this person. We need to be someone’s person. We just need to care.


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