Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My mom owns a rental condo that she is allowing me to stay in rent free for my last year in college.  The arrangement is that I rent the extra bedroom to a friend and the rent they pay is to help with some of my expenses.  I also work part time to help with some of my own expenses too.  My problem is that my roommate knows that the money she gives me is for my own expenses and not really to make a rent payment. She is always late or she doesn’t have the full amount and I’m in the awkward situation of having to ask her for the money.  Last week she screamed at me and called me selfish because I pressured her for her rent because I need to go to the dentist.  We are hardly talking now.  She was once a good friend.  I’m miserable.



Hi Candace,

It’s nice that you were able to have your friend be your roommate, but it looks like she is confused about the differences between friendship and business.  When it comes to her needing to pay her agreed upon portion of the rent, this is simply a business transaction and should not be confused with any other aspect of your relationship.  She is relying on your friendship and your mother’s generosity to take advantage of you.  Give her proper notice and get a new roommate.  Next time don’t divulge the details of your mom’s generosity.  That is between you and your mom. Don’t set yourself up to be prey for an opportunist.

Good Luck

Danice Akiyoshi ND

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@ You can also visit her website at

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