Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi,

I’m going out with a new guy that I met at my spinning class.  He always takes me out for smoothies after class and seems like he is very health conscious.  He drinks lots of water during our work out and eats fruit and protein bars as snacks.  Last weekend we went to the beach.  When he went into a sandwich shop to get food for our picnic lunch I took a drink of what I thought was iced tea in his travel tumbler cup.  I was surprised to taste alcohol and he was driving us around while he is drinking.  I really like him so I decided not to say anything, but this bothers me.  My health is my top priority and he knows that I only drink on special occasions.  Should I wait and try his drinks a few more times to see if this is a habit?  Did I mention that I really like him?  I’m so disappointed.  Help…

Linda

 

 

Dear Linda,

Intelligent, healthy people are generally opposed to drinking and driving.  I’m having great trouble making sense of your date’s behavior.  On one hand he displays healthy behavior; on the other hand, he is secretly putting you both in danger by drinking and driving.  It’s my experience when people take steps to hide what they are doing that’s a red flag and cause for concern.  If he was openly taking you to lunch in a restaurant and ordering a cocktail I would be fine with it.  If he took you on a picnic and openly had a cocktail I would not raise an eyebrow, but hiding the fact that he is drinking is unimpressive and causes me to wonder what his consumption is really like.  Causal drinkers don’t feel the need to hide the fact that they have a drink on occasion.  If you really like him then address it, but don’t be surprised to find out that this is a much bigger problem than you’re prepared to handle.  If he admits he has a problem and is willing to seek help, consider sticking around awhile and perhaps show support for his progress, but don’t count on this happening.  He knows he has a problem, that’s why he’s hiding it.  Ultimately, he has to be ready to do this for himself.  Please be wise in your choices.  This is a big issue for a new relationship.

Danice Akiyoshi ND

 Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com