Straight Talk With Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice Akiyoshi,

My boyfriend and I moved in together 9 months ago. He is supposed to keep our cars clean and the outside of our house looking nice at all times.  He is also supposed to supply our dinner every other week.  My job is to keep the inside of the house clean and do the laundry and make dinner every other week.  We eat out on the weekend.  We share the rent and utility bills equally.  It was good for the first 3 months, but now he is turning lazy.  The outside of our house and our porch and back yard look bad and I’m getting tired of living on pizza and take out tacos every other week.   I cook for us and make nice dinners and our house is always presentable on the inside.  When I bring it up he says he doesn’t need a mother.  How can I get through to him?




Dear Barb,

No one is interested in being a nag or a mother to their significant other, so stop nagging and start meaning business.  If your boyfriend is no longer feeling it is important for him to keep up his end of the agreement then let him know that you are giving him notice that you plan to move out.  If in fact you have a lease, call the landlord and give him the required notice.  A boyfriend who doesn’t keep his agreements is not going to magically turn into a husband who keeps his agreements.  If he is interested in restoring harmony with you then he will make serious attempts to clean up his behavior so that the two of you can return to or reestablish a new agreement.  If he does nothing, then perhaps your relationship has reached its shelf life and your boyfriend was just too cowardly to tell you and is attempting to just wear you down and get you to be the one to breaks things off.  If this is the case, then the guy’s a coward and you truly should move on.  If he’s just lazy by nature then you have plenty to think about, but don’t allow anyone to turn you in to an ineffective nagging girlfriend.  There is no joy there. Express your concerns and mean business.

 Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at You can also visit her website at

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