I Want To Be In Love

By Anthony Saude

Feeling mesmerized, thinking about someone without trying.  Can’t get her off of my mind, her eyes, her touch, the way her smile lights up a room.  She makes my heart expand, it grows and wants to  be filled with the feelings that that everybody tells me about love. It always seems just out of reach; just on the other side of lonely is where I am told it is. It should belong to me, to all of us, shouldn’t it?

I am told that it is a feeling that lifts you up when you are down, makes you happy when you are sad and can even save your life. That perfect feeling that has eluded me for so many years it came and went so quickly that I barely even felt anything at all. Where does it go? When will it return?

One day it dawned on me that it would never stay for long, it is just a feeling and feelings are fleeting after all, right? Wrong. Love is not a feeling it is an action that I am responsible for showing. It is not something that I am owed by anyone or that I even deserve. Love is something that I can give every day of my life without expecting anything in return. That is a feeling that nobody can take away from me no matter the circumstance.

Love is shown in the way we treat somebody else not in the way somebody treats us. Love when given honestly and freely will always come back to us but if it doesn’t does that mean that we shouldn’t love? Are we called to be loved or  to love that is the question that so many seem to answer incorrectly. If everybody just showed love with actions all the time then nobody would be feeling unloved. How much would that change the world?

Thank you to my wife and children for showing me the difference between a feeling and an action. Love is a gift to be given and if in turn you receive it, then you are doing something right.