Meltdowns Happen – Autism Mom

By Melody Kraemer

Meltdowns are ok.  Oh wait, maybe you think I’m referring to children. I’m not! I am talking about a mommy meltdown.  In fact, today was that day that my patience ran out, and my autistic boys were in full form of being “needy.”  Have you ever heard someone say “I just can’t adult today!”  My saying is, “I just can’t autism today!” That’s right this mommy of two autism boys just had a complete meltdown.

Of course, no one saw me on the floor throwing a tantrum, nor did I scream and run away, or give up, even though I felt like it. I quietly had an emotional breakdown with tears running down my face.  I thought to myself, “Now I can’t be the only mom out there that wants to run away, go lock myself in the bathroom, open a bottle of wine, or just go to bed with the covers over my head.”

Parenting is tough, and we as moms aren’t perfect.  We lose our cool, and then the mommy guilt factors come in.  We all have experienced that mommy guilt. No matter how hard things get, how much mom guilt we put upon ourselves, we have to remember that we are not alone, every mom experiences these feelings.  We all have that mommy meltdown some time or another.  I said to my son today, “Mommy is doing the best she can, but it seems like her best isn’t good enough.” After  I  thought about what I said I realized my best for today is good enough because I’m giving my best and I’m not giving up. It also helped that my son saw my tears and said, “You are the most beautiful mom.”  Even during my meltdown, tears running down my face, feeling like the worst mom with the mommy guilt,  my children love me unconditionally.  We as moms have to remember our kids don’t expect perfection just a mom who is doing her best and loving her kids.