By Melody Kraemer

Have you ever had one of those days where you couldn’t wait for bedtime? How about one of those days where nothing seems to go right? Maybe today was one of those days where you think you had the entire day planned out perfectly and not one thing you planned happened?

Or It could be one of those days where you lose your cool, and now you feel guilty for feeling the way you do? How about one of those days where your patience is so thin, even though you try with every ounce of your being to have patience, it’s just not coming easily? What about a day where you just plain feel agitated?  I am feeling each and every one of these things today.

The more the day goes on, the more I wish it was bedtime.

Everything has seemed to go wrong, even though I am trying hard to stay positive. Of course I believe my children sense when I am feeling this and view this as a challenge to see how far they can push me.

It is now late in the afternoon, and I’m rushing out the door to get my autistic children to their speech and OT classes. I see the clock, and it’s on the hour we are to be there.

Great, just another late arrival, I open the front door and my youngest bolts out and down the street while the other one is chasing him.  I raise my voice, sure that the next neighborhood over could hear me saying, “Get in the car!”

Feeling horrible inside and feeling like the worst mother ever I drive them to their classes. As they walk inside, I take this moment to feel relief and take a deep breath, I can’t help this overwhelming feeling of mommy guilt. I have raised my voice and have had no patience with my boys. I sit down in the waiting room and take out my computer to catch up on work since I now have to sit here for 2 hours.

I open up my laptop, and the first thing  I see is a post on Facebook, “Just because you are having a bad day, doesn’t make you a bad mom.”  Wow, I needed to hear that. That’s so right, we as moms are allowed bad days just as kids are allowed bad days, but it doesn’t make us a bad person. What it does do is remind us that we are only human. Next time I’m having a bad day I must remind myself, it’s a bad day and this bad day does not make me a bad mom. My children love me unconditionally even through my bad days just as I love them through theirs.

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher Macaroni Kid Jurupa Valley- Eastvale

and Macaroni Kid Riverside. For any information or general encouragement feel free to email me at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com