By Nancy Stoops
Believe it or not, not everybody is raised with knowing how to love well. My patients sometimes wish they had a different kind of heart that wouldn’t cause them so much pain. I always tell them how lucky they are to have the capacity to love with such depth and compassion. They tell me that their hearts can cause them so much pain. I tell them how lucky they are to have loved so fully and yes that such deep loving can cause us pain. Pain can be caused when we love that fully and we lose people to death, divorce or anything that causes that person to leave us. I always remind them how lucky they were to have experienced that kind of love even for one second. I remind them not everybody gets that.
The trick is to be grateful for every second you have with the people you love and create lots of memories. Those wonderful memories will be with you even when the person or people are no longer here with you. Please don’t close your heart off because you have been hurt because you have experienced some type of loss. Keep your heart opened because you never know what you might find. Don’t put up barriers and become cold and distant instead smile and feel the warmth of those memories. Also be grateful for all that you have left. This idea is also very important in successful grieving.
Now close your eyes and find the best memory of a loved one that is gone. Don’t you find it impossible not to smile and maybe even cry some happy tears? In order to keep experiencing this keep you heart opened to love and to all that is wonderful about this amazing thing we call life!!!!
This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at firstname.lastname@example.org You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.