Category Archives: Weekly News Columns

Happy Mother’s Day

mark-hopper-color-2x2By Pastor Mark Hopper

I have heard that more long distance phone calls are made on Mother’s Day than any other day of the year.  Everyone wants to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to their mom.

It is not unusual to see a big football player say, “Hi, Mom!” from the sideline bench after a game-winning touchdown.  It is clear that moms are at the top of the list.

Mothers make a life-long impact on the lives of their children.  Their love, patience and wisdom help mold children into the people they become.  Mothers always put the needs of their children and family ahead of their own.  They are often the first one up in the morning, and the last one to bed at night.  A familiar poem says, “From dawn until the setting sun, a mother’s work is never done.”

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Honor your father and mother so that you may live long in the land that God is giving you,” (Exodus 20:12).  Did you know that this is one of the Ten Commandments?

When people say that they try to live by the Ten Commandments – don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t murder – I wonder if they know that honoring your mother and father is on the same list.

I hope that you will look for some thoughtful ways to express your love and admiration for your mother and the mother of your children on Mother’s Day.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Grocery Shopping

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

When I was in college, I worked at a local grocery store.  My first job was bagging groceries, but later I was promoted to cashier.  In addition, I was assigned to restock the shelves in one section of the store.

It was exciting to be a cashier.  I had to learn how to cash checks and make change when people paid in cash.  There were no credit or debit cards back then.

I also had to learn to weigh the fruits and vegetables. One problem was that I was not familiar with a lot of them. At our house, I was raised on meat and potatoes.  The only vegetables we had were usually green beans or corn.  The only things I knew were the bananas, red apples, lettuce and tomatoes.

I was at a distinct disadvantage when it came to identifying a lot of fruit and vegetables.  Often I would have to ask a customer what kind they had in their cart.  I noticed worried looks on many faces.

I’m sure it is a lot easier to be a cashier in a grocery store today.  The registers are computerized.  The scales are electronic.  They have bar code scanners. The fruits and vegetables usually have stickers with codes on them,  Today we can even use the self-checkout line if we want.

There is a verse in the Bible that says that God has given us food to be enjoyed when it is received with thanksgiving (I Timothy 4:3-4).  I know there are more fruits and vegetables in most grocery stores than I can name.  The varieties seem endless.

We should be thankful for the farmers that grow them and the grocers that sell them.

The next time you go grocery shopping, I hope you will say thanks to the hard working people who work there.  And, the next time you are eating dinner with your friends or family, make sure you finish your vegetables!

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

My roommate belongs to a church that reminds me of a gang.  They try to get him to teach classes, conduct religious meeting in people’s homes, knock on doors, and make and take phone calls regarding others joining the church. He’s politely told them that he doesn’t have that kind of time to dedicate to those tasks.  If he refuses, they show up at our apartment and try to intimidate him, saying since he’s behind on his tithing he has an obligation to do all of these other things.  I have watched him give in three times.  He is one of the nicest people I’ve ever met, so last week I called them goons to their faces and told them to get out of our house and to never knock on our door again.  This is my house, too, and I shouldn’t have to tolerate bullies pushing their way in.  Now he is depressed, fearing that his family will hear about it and be upset.  They belong to this church, too. He’s even asked me to call these bullies and apologize for being rude.  I won’t do it.  My roommate is a really nice guy, but I wonder if it’s time for me to move.

-Jack S.

Hi Jack:

Your roommate is nice.  In my opinion, he is TOO NICE.  He should not allow his personal choices to bleed over and into his roommate’s home life.  Make it clear that bullies are not welcomed by you in any capacity.  If the two of you are unable to come to an agreement on this, and get on the same page, give him 30 days notice and move out.  It sounds like the poor guy has no personal power and is unable to stand up for himself.  That’s a shame.  Keep in mind that getting out of this trap is an inside job for him.  He has to make the tough decisions and do it for himself.  Religion is a huge subject.  I don’t think you stand much of a chance of correcting this problem if he’s already asking you to call and apologize.  Wish him luck and ask him if he thinks he can get a new roommate in 30 days.  If he feels he can’t, kindly give him 60 days, but be firm and move on.  Take care, and good luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Everyday Heroes

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

There is so much good left in our world.  I run into wonderful people daily.  In my eyes you don’t have to acquire super powers or wear a cape to be a hero.

For me, a hero is somebody that models all the good characteristics one should have.  A hero is a person that lives up to their potential and strives to be better each and every day.  A hero is a person that gives fully of themselves because it’s the right thing to do and doesn’t expect anything in return.

Look around and you will see plenty of everyday heroes.  You will find them teaching our children, protecting our community, mentoring others, saving lives and putting out fires, giving grants and scholarships, and modeling who we are intended to be in this world.

Giving unconditionally is one of the greatest gifts one can offer to this world.  It is the stuff that can make another understand just how important their existence is to this world.  It can literally save the life of another.

Sometimes people just need a break, and being an everyday hero can offer that break for another human being.  Don’t take your life for granted; instead strive to be an everyday hero.  It doesn’t require lots of letters after your name or a fancy college degree. You can make a huge influence by just being the wonderful person you already are and by sharing your kindness and compassion with another.

Our youth needs heroes and a sense of hope at this very chaotic time in our world.  It is our job to be everyday heroes and guide them.

Strive to be your best each and every day.  If you do this, I’m sure your innermost hero will be unveiled for the world to see.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I am a Vietnam Veteran.  I have been having severe anger episodes for the past two years.  Without going into details, I’ll admit that I have been dangerous on three occasions in the last year.  My wife said she would leave me if I didn’t call the V.A. Hospital and get some help.  The guy I spoke to upset me so badly that I cussed him out and hung up on him.  He called me right back and tried to calm me down, but he really just wants to increase the dosage of my anti-depressants and give me even more pills.  When I am angry like this, I’m beside myself.  More pills are not the answer for me.  What’s happening in our world causes me to feel that my sacrifices were all for nothing.  Just going to the Veteran’s Hospital infuriates me.  My brother in law has the same feelings.  Do you deal with problems like mine?  I need to get my head on straight. I want to smile again.

-James P.

Dear James:

I’m sorry you are struggling so badly.  Many veterans have shared similar feelings with me.   Anger, hopelessness and helplessness are strong emotions that can easily upset the balance of your life if they last too long.  In your situation, I would use an Emotional Release technique that is designed to neutralize trapped and unprocessed emotions in the subconscious mind.  I’ve witnessed amazing results with people in your situation.  If you are open minded and interested in trying a new approach, I believe you can experience great relief with Emotional Release work.  Please address your situation.  If the Veteran’s Hospital is an upsetting place for you, be honest with them about that, because it is very important to have a qualified doctor monitoring your medication.  You must always keep this in mind whether or not you’re trying new therapies.  Let me know if I can offer further guidance.

-Warmest Regards, Danice Akiyoshi,N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Left Feeling So Powerless

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I have worked with people that have survived horrific tragedy, such as rape or molestation.  Having something so awful happen to you, or somebody you love, can leave you feeling so very powerless.  It leaves you feeling very fearful and as if you have no power at all.

My power in the suicide and murder in my family was in the way I chose to respond.  This is true for anybody that has been through any type of unimaginable situation. We can make a conscious choice to not let it steal our lives from us.  There is so much guilt and shame in rape and molestation, and sometimes, being the one left alive when somebody you love has died.  We suffer from something called survivor’s guilt, but we have nothing to feel guilty about.

People tend to blame themselves when something really terrible happens to them.  The truth is, they are the victim – but they need to do something with all of that anger.

If you are in this situation, try really hard to forgive yourself for whatever lie you tell yourself about what you did to make this terrible thing happen to you.  Take back your power by refusing to let this horrible thing ruin your life.  Go and get help to work through it.  Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed about being victimized.  Tell your story and report the crime, and maybe you will help someone else avoid becoming a victim.  The crime against you was horrible enough, so don’t punish yourself for being attacked.

Make today the day that you stop living like a victim and stop blaming yourself.  Today brings an opportunity to get help and to regain power over your life.

I promise you that you have the strength to work through this and to set yourself free!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

The Fifty Dollar Date

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Pastor Mark Hopper

My wife and I have been trying to schedule a “Date Night” once a week.  Our days are busy, so we know we need to set aside a time to get out and enjoy some time together.  But, a dinner and a movie can put a strain on the budget.  Two movie tickets can easily cost $20 to $25.  Dinner for two can easily exceed the cost of the movie tickets.

Fifty dollar bills don’t come easy.  I try to carry a little cash, but I don’t like to break a fifty if I manage to have one in my wallet.  Most couples use their debit or credit card, but I like paying cash when I can.

Recently, we planned a date night.  The plan was dinner and a movie.  My wife found a movie that I had not seen. It was playing at a theater in Brea that features movies that have been out for a while.

When we arrived for the 4:40 p.m. movie, we were both surprised to hear the employee tell us the cost for our tickets was $6.50.  We both thought she meant $6.50 for each ticket, but the total for two tickets really was $6.50…nice!

After the movie, we went to a small restaurant nearby because we had found a gift card in my car’s glove compartment.  We had used the card several months ago, and didn’t know how much credit was still on the card.  We were surprised to learn that the amount still on the card almost paid for our dinner!   I think we only had to pay about $5.00 and a tip…nice!

This was the kind of Fifty Dollar Date that I like.  My wife enjoyed dinner and a movie, and I enjoyed having most of that fifty dollar bill still in my wallet!

We have been married for almost 44 years.  We have learned that we need to invest time, energy and money to keep our marriage healthy.  How much are you investing in your marriage? When was the last time you went out on a “date” with your spouse?

We have recently started a new sermon series at our church on today’s family.  We will be investigating what the Bible says to parents and children, married couples and single adults.  We will be including older adults and widows, young adults and teens, baby boomers and millennials.

I hope you will accept this invitation to join us for this series that will address the issues and concerns of families and individuals of all ages.  The price is right – admission is free!

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

My husband has recently started taking a new medication.  It has drastically changed his personality.  It helps his medical problems, but it takes away his interest in spending personal or intimate time with me.  Our marriage is suffering.  I can tell he is uncomfortable when I mention the subject. We are too young to be in this situation (late 40s).  Help!

-S.W.

Dear S.W.:

If he is taking blood pressure or diabetes medicine, this is a common side effect and can often be remedied by simply changing the prescription.  Some acid reflux medications are also hard on a man in this way, as are anti-depressants.  Please encourage him to discuss it with his doctor right away.  Quite often, it’s as easy as trying a new medication.  If it turns out that there are emotional issues at hand, consider counseling so you can get to the bottom of it before it becomes a bigger problem.  It’s in your best interest to start the conversation.  Don’t delay. Allowing resentment to settle into your marriage is a mistake.  I wish you a smooth outcome. Let me know if you need any further guidance.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Free Counseling Available

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

For the past 18 years, I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente Rd., in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6 to 8 p.m. (unless that Monday is a holiday).

Even though this group meets at a Teen Center, I invite people of all ages, with all types of issues, to attend.  This group helps parents, students, and all those that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to make our community healthier, and help individuals be more effective and successful in their lives.  We work on an array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework, or need some more effective ways to communicate, this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back; this is a place to find solutions that could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking, this group is a great place to get some coping skills to help you get clean.  We even talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging that can be for someone’s self-esteem.

Bring in an issue, and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the situation head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

All are invited, and you do not need an appointment to attend this group.  Additionally, this program also satisfies many court-mandated needs.

For more information, contact me at (909) 229-0727; or call the Teen Center at (909) 444-0089.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Road Trip (Part Two)

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

Recently I shared about my memories of driving from Arizona to San Diego for family vacations when I was a kid.  It was a long, hot drive across the desert to get to Mission Bay in cool, beautiful San Diego.

My first article reminded me of another “Road Trip,” when I was in graduate school in Dallas, Texas.  Our first child was born in October, and we were hoping to drive home to Arizona to celebrate Christmas with our parents.

Since our car was not very reliable and we did not have a lot of money for gas, we asked my wife’s sister and her husband if we could carpool with them.  They lived at Fort Riley Kansas at that time, so they drove south and picked us up in Dallas.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I didn’t realize that they were bringing their large Irish Setter with them.  The result was that my wife and her sister sat in the front seat along with my brother-in-law, who was driving.  I rode in the back seat with the Irish Setter.

I know this sounds terrible, but we were not required to use car seats for infants and children in those days.  So my wife and her sister took turns holding our two-month old son on their laps in the front seat, while I shared the back seat with the dog.

The dog’s name was Shadrach, like one of the men found in the Bible, in the book of Daniel, Chapter 1.

Shadrach was a good dog.  He had a friendly temperament and was pretty obedient.  He was also a big dog, and he liked to lean on people.  He was a leaner.  He took up three-fourths of the back seat, and I was always squished against the door.

It is over 1,000 miles from Dallas to Phoenix.  It usually takes two days to drive that distance.  I rode in the back seat with that big dog leaning on me for two days.  It was a road trip that I have not been able to forget.

There is a verse in the Bible that says, “Be humble and gentle, patient and tolerant with one another in love,” (Ephesians 4:2).  It took a lot of patience and tolerance to endure driving 1,000 miles to Arizona, and another 1,000 miles back to Texas,

You may find yourself in an unexpected or uncomfortable situation that you did not foresee.  You may have people leaning on you.  It may be that the only thing you can do is be humble and patient as you endure the situation.

Ask God to give you the strength to complete the journey.

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I have a friend who has trouble keeping a job.  His social skills are terrible.  I have known him since we were kids and he has always been socially inept.  I give him odd jobs to do so he can earn a little money, but I can see he is getting worse.  I have to instruct him over and over.  I know he needs some kind of help, but I feel this is a sensitive subject.  He still lives at home with his mother, and he is 38 years old.  Do you think it would be rude on my part to speak to his sister?  I’ve known her since we were kids, too. I can’t believe they haven’t done anything to help him function better.  Maybe this is none of my business.  I’d like your advice, please.

-Ernie E.

Dear Ernie:

You are concerned about your childhood friend enough to give him odd jobs to help him stay afloat.  This shows me that your heart is in the right place and puts you in the perfect position to approach your friend’s sister.  Sometimes when a family has a member that has extra needs, they go into denial.  Or perhaps they are used to his limitations, so they no longer have the ability to see how odd he may be appearing to the public at large.  If he is 38 and still lives with his mother, something’s up.  This subject is probably too big for you to take on, but yes, please do notify his family of your concerns.  People who have severely poor social skills are often in danger of being bullied or harmed in a variety of ways.  Make that call.  Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

The Great And Powerful You

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I grew up in love with the movie, “The Wizard of Oz.”  My favorite part of the classic was when Glenda, the Good Witch, told Dorothy that she always had the power within her.  She also told her that she needed to believe in her power if she was to make her way home.

So let’s assume that Glenda’s theory is correct for all of us.  What if I was to tell you I think Glenda was not only right, but really on to something?  What if you had the power to change yourself and your life?  What if you could actually obtain the life you want and deserve?

Now please understand that Dorothy was able to just click her heels together three times to get her wish, and it will be a little bit harder for you.  Your magic will begin with a newly found faith in yourself and your capabilities, just like Dorothy.  I have found that dreams come true when people begin to believe in themselves.

Please keep in mind that you are never too old to change and to grow into somebody that you will be proud to be.  It may take forgiving yourself, letting go of all the reasons to fail, and looking very deep within for the courage to change.  I personally believe that a life full of regret is much more frightening.

So look deep within and find that inner strength and confidence.  Take a look at all you have already survived and stop doubting your abilities, intelligence and tenacity.  Each and every day, put one foot in front of the other and soon you will be exactly where you want to be.  Just for a moment, close your eyes and think about how great that would feel.  I believe in you and know that you can do it!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

The Jedi Master

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

We had a lot of winter visitors at the church I used to lead in Tucson, Arizona.  We called them “Snow Birds.”  These visitors were mostly retired people who came south to escape the cold winter weather in Michigan and Minnesota.

One of these couples was Doug and Jeri Blom.  They were from Flint, Michigan.  Doug had retired after a long career in management with General Motors Corporation.  He helped build cars in peace time and army tanks during World War II.

When I first met Doug, I did not realize that he was a gifted and successful golfer.  He did not look like your typical tall, thin golfer.  He was short and stout.  He did not hit the ball a mile, but his golf stroke was steady and solid.

Recently, I found an article on the Internet that included some remarkable information about my friend, Doug Blom.  The article reported that a man had won the Flint Michigan Invitational for a third time.  The article mentioned that only three other amateur golfers had won that city’s golf title three times.

But the article added a more astounding statistic.  It reported that Doug Blom was the only golfer to win the Flint title more than three times.  He hadn’t won five or ten or even 15 titles.  Doug Blom won the city title 19 times!  Unbelievable!

I did not know Doug in his prime.  He was in his 70s when he and his wife came to our church in Tucson. Little did I know that Doug had such a remarkable legacy as an amateur golfer.  I learned more about him as Doug’s wife showed me several scrap books filled with newspaper clippings of his golf career.

The article that I found recently said that Doug had played with some of the greatest names in golf, like Sam Sneed and Byron Nelson.  He had also competed in the U.S. Open as an amateur golfer.

When my son was in 5th Grade, Doug took the time to teach him how to golf.  He was so patient and always encouraging.  I managed to learn a few things, too.  When I had a problem with my golf game, I would ask Doug for help.  He was like the Jedi Master.

There is a verse in the Bible where the Apostle Paul encourages his young disciple, Timothy, to teach others the things he had learned from Paul (2 Timothy 2:2)   Doug certainly fulfilled this principle when it came to golf.  He loved teaching others how to enjoy the game as he did.

You may not be a successful golfer, but I am certain you have skills and experiences that you could share with others.  You may not think of yourself as a Jedi Master, but I believe you can make a difference in the life of others as you share what you love with them.

Let me encourage you to look around and see if there is a child or teen that would benefit from the skills and knowledge you have gained in your life.  They will enjoy it, and you will too.

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I recently betrayed my dear friend.  I spoke ill of her to some of our other mutual friends and I am mad at myself.  I was frustrated and suffering a weak moment when we were all out having drinks at Happy Hour.  I believe one of the women who heard me is bound to tell my friend about my remarks.  I am a terrible liar, and I feel so guilty.  I don’t think I can deny it if she finds out.  What should I do?  I am losing sleep.

-Avis P.

Dear Avis:

The fact that you feel so badly about making a disparaging remark about your friend tells me a lot about your character.  If I’m right about that, I think your dear friend is pretty familiar with your decent character, too. Please meet with her right away, hopefully before she hears it from one of the others.  Explain that you were frustrated and having that weak moment and that you just feel horrible about the unbecoming comments you made.  Ask her to forgive your poor judgment.  Look her right in the eye and promise that it will never happen again as you apologize.  Make sure you keep that agreement.  Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Anxiety and Our Youth

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I have been a psychotherapist for 15 years, and have worked with people of all ages with various issues.

I’m constantly amazed when I have a child or teen brought to me for anxiety issues. We seem to have created a generation that feels very inadequate and struggles with growing up and being successful.  The issues this generation worries about are things my generation didn’t have to deal with.

Our colleges are impacted and hard to get into.  Now kindergarteners have homework and are expected to read and know many more things.  Video games and television are replacing playing outdoors in the fresh air and getting much needed exercise.  This outdoor playing is such a great way to reduce or eliminate stress.  Social Media, unfortunately, has made this generation very lazy, and childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise.

As parents and community leaders, we have a social responsibility to help this generation find a healthy balance in their lives in every area.  We need to support and encourage our youth.  We need to provide the necessary tools to help them strive to become their best.  We need to have faith in our youth, as so many of them are diamonds in the rough.  We need to give them the guidance and tools to help them shine and reach their full potential.

We need to teach teens that problems can be worked through, and that drinking and drugs are not a solution.  We need to teach them how to meditate – not medicate – to quiet their busy minds.  We need to teach them how to relax by finding balance, getting organized, prioritizing and effectively managing their time – and communicate what’s working and what’s not working in their lives.  Please don’t assume they are all pot-smoking, video game playing, lazy, worthless human beings.  They are just scared, and need some help finding their way!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Eyewitness News

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

Some friends of mine recently returned from a trip to Israel.  They were on a tour that included many of the places mentioned in the Bible.  They saw the Jordan River where Jesus was baptized; the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus’ disciples fished; and the Mediterranean Sea, where the Apostle Paul sailed to Rome.  They also saw cities and towns like Bethlehem, where Jesus was born; Nazareth, where Jesus grew up; and Jerusalem, where Jesus was crucified.  Although archeologists may not be able to identify some of the specific sites mentioned in the Bible, they can confirm that many of the cities and places mentioned in the Bible still exist today.

My friends shared that one of their favorite places to visit was the garden tomb where Jesus may have been buried after his crucifixion by the Roman authorities.  This beautiful garden is located just outside the walls of the old city of Jerusalem.

Historians and archeologists cannot say this is definitely the location where Jesus was buried, but it certainly could be.  The garden and the tomb are located close together.  There is a hill that looks like the one described in the Bible.  It could be the location referred to in the various Bible accounts.

Many people don’t understand why the burial place of Jesus is so important.  There are cemeteries in countries all over the world where loved ones and friends are buried.  Why is the place where Jesus was buried any different?

The Bible says that Jesus rose from the dead three days after he was executed on the Cross.  This makes his death different from any other in history.  The Bible says that many people saw him alive.  Eyewitnesses claimed that they saw him, talked with him, and actually touched him.

The Bible makes it very clear that Jesus’ death on the Cross and his physical resurrection are the foundations of the Christian faith.  If Jesus did not rise from the dead, our faith is worthless and we are misleading others.  If Jesus did rise from the dead, then our faith is true and we have hope for the future and purpose in this life, (I Corinthians 15:1-20).

Let me encourage you to read it for yourself.  Dust off your Bible and read one of the accounts of Jesus’ death and resurrection in Matthew, Chapters 27-28; Mark 15-16; Luke 23-24; and John 19-20.  Each of them provides the names of individuals who claim to have seen Jesus alive after his death on the Cross.  Each of these passages provides specific eyewitness details about Jesus death, burial and resurrection.

On Easter Sunday, I hope you will attend a church near you.  Easter is the day that we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus.  Easter reminds us that we do not remember a fallen hero, but a living savior.  Easter reminds us that the tomb is empty.  Jesus is alive!

Join us for Good Friday Service at 7 p.m., and Easter Sunday Services at 8, 9:30 and 11 a.m.

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

I am a helpful, nice person, but I’m tired of my husband volunteering my time for everything.  If our neighbor puts her back out, he volunteers me to make dinner for them for three days.  If someone in the carpool can’t make it, he volunteers me to take their place.  If someone is having a refrigerator delivered, he says I would be more than happy to wait at their home for the delivery man. If his family needs anything, then he volunteers me.  He feels free to do this because I have my own little business. I do medical billing and I work from my computer at home.  He thinks I can just pack up my work and cart it around anywhere.  Because of these constant interruptions, I am often up until midnight trying to finish my work.  He doesn’t know this because he’s in bed at 9:30.  I don’t mind helping people, but I’d like to do it on my own schedule, not his.  How should I approach this?

-Pamela F.

Dear Pamela:

It sounds to me like your husband doesn’t take your work very seriously.  I don’t know enough of the story, but I wonder if he under values the financial contribution you bring to the household.  Or perhaps he struggles with his own self esteem and wants to be a people pleaser.  Unfortunately, this is at your expense, not his.  To get to the bottom of it, why don’t you ask him if he’s fine with you putting your business on hold, as well as the money it brings into the household (slight sarcasm)? Explain that then you will be free to do all of these errands he keeps setting up for you.  If he says the family needs the money, this gives you an opening to ask him to respect your business as if it were actually important to the family.  If you’d like a more direct approach – which I always like best – advise him that he is no longer free to offer your time or services without your permission.  It really is just a matter of respect.  Let me know if you need additional assistance with boosting up your personal power.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Healing Your Heart And Spirit

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

It takes an incredible amount of courage to start therapy.   Many people start, but leave just as they are really starting to deal with their core issues.

In order to really heal, a person must not only face their demons, but take them on and beat them. This is a scary yet very necessary process if one is to be free from all that holds them hostage.  I can’t think of anything worse than a life wasted because the person was too scared to take on their demons.

On the other hand, it is such an honor to help somebody walk through the journey that allows them to take on their demons and beat them.  It is a miracle to me and such a blessing that this is my life’s work.

Sometimes life can deal us tragedies that we think we will never recover from.  I think many things can stop us in our tracks for awhile, but I believe we are capable of healing from anything.  To heal from the really hard and awful things, we must have a strong desire to do so.

At 17, when my brother Rory committed suicide, I thought that was the end of me.  In my early 40s, when my brother Jeff was murdered, I was so angry I thought my anger would destroy me. Later in my 40s, when I saw my father through his last days, I thought my sadness was going to swallow me up.  I honor their memory by being filled with zest and being who I am intended to be.

It’s been a hard but priceless journey finding my way through it all, and it wouldn’t have happened without a lot of healing work.

Make today the day you start healing and finally living the life you deserve!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Road Trip

By Pastor Mark Hopper

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

When my brother and I were growing up in Arizona, our parents would usually go on vacation in August and drive to San Diego to get out of the hot summer weather in Phoenix.

When my wife and I were raising our own young family in Tucson, we did the same thing.  We would take our kids to San Diego to get away from the hot weather in Arizona.

When my wife’s parents retired, they followed the same pattern.  They would drive from Phoenix to San Diego to get away from the hot summer weather in Arizona.

Maybe this is why I think that San Diego is one of the most beautiful places in the country. We loved going to the beach and Balboa Park.  Sometimes we were able to afford a trip to Sea World or even drive up to Disneyland for a day.

We have so many fond memories of our road trips to San Diego and all the fun we had there with our families.  However, my memories of getting to San Diego are another story.

When my brother and I were young, my parents drove a 1950s Nash Rambler – with no air conditioning – across the desert to San Diego.  It was a long, hot, sweaty drive!

When our own kids were young, they would complain about how hot and long the drive to San Diego was.  There is not much to see along the way.  They would get tired and bored and complain.  The familiar questions were, “How much longer” and “Are we there yet”?

Recently I read a verse in the Bible that reminded me of those road trips from Arizona to San Diego.  In Genesis 45:24, when Joseph sent his brothers back from Egypt to their father in Canaan, he told them, “Do not quarrel on your way.”

Remember, Joseph’s brothers had sold him into slavery.  Years later they were amazed to discover that not only was Joseph alive, but he was a high ranking official in the land of Egypt. He forgave them and provided them with food and supplies for their families back in Canaan.

I know there are times when we all find ourselves quarreling or complaining about our circumstances.  We lose sight of the goal of getting to beautiful “San Diego.”  We quarrel with others who are taking up too much space in the car.

As you begin to make plans for your summer vacation, remember to be grateful and not grumble.  Be thankful that you can enjoy time together and don’t complain and quarrel.  Make some lasting memories and cherish your time with family and loved ones!

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

New neighbors just moved in across the street two weeks ago.  I was doing yard work as I watched the man working hard unloading boxes into his garage.  When I went inside to make sandwiches for my kids, I decided to make him one too.  He was very grateful for the plate of food when I walked across the street and introduced myself.  I told him my husband’s name and the names of our two sons and even our dog’s name.  He told me his wife’s name.  Being neighborly, I told him if they needed anything to let us know.  The guy was very nice and appreciative.  A few days later, I happened to see both he and his wife working in the garage.  I walked over and introduced myself to her this time.  She sneered at me and gave me a terrible look as if I were her personal enemy.  He looked very uncomfortable and apologetic, but he never said a word.  I quickly excused myself and went home.  I am afraid to even look in their direction now.  Did I make a mistake by taking a sandwich to the man?   I am very confused.

-Debbie A.

Dear Debbie:

I just hate to hear about a person who feels wrong, confused or diminished for being kind hearted, and in your case, generous.  I think you are witnessing a huge disparity in the way the power is distributed in the household across the street.  The man is obviously bullied by his wife, and of course that is none of your business.  It’s a shame that you will not be able to develop a friendly relationship, but accept it for what it is.  You can’t save people from themselves.  If he chooses to live this way, steer clear.  If he waves, wave back, but keep a safe distance.  If his wife is so insecure that she openly sneered at you, she’s way too much drama.  Nice people like you don’t need this sort of negativity.  Sorry this didn’t work out, but please don’t change.  You seem like a wonderful person.

Warmest Regards,

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.