Tag Archives: Dr. Akiyoshi

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

When it comes to my group of friends, I am the smart one.  My friends get themselves into trouble and then they call me to help them figure it out.  I help them as much as I can, but sometimes I have problems of my own or I’m just plain tired so I don’t return their call or text right away.  Then the nasty messages start.  They are trying to make me feel guilty.  I don’t get this.  I was only trying to help in the first place.

-Amber.

 

Hi, Amber:

Here is the age old question, “What do we really “owe” our friends and family?”  In my opinion, just because you’re the smart one doesn’t mean that you owe anyone your thinking skills and problem solving talent.  It’s different in the work place. If you are hired to do a job, then they are renting your skills and intelligence by giving you a paycheck, so you realize you’d be wise to perform.  When it comes to your personal life, I’ll offer my opinion.  You owe every human being simple “decency.”  You only owe your personal time, skills, effort, care, etc. to your spouse (because the two of you have formed a team), your minor children, and any animals you have caused to become dependent on you.  Maybe your parents should be on this list, too, but only if they are decent human beings.  Aside from these people, any gift of your time, skills, intelligence and resources should be considered a PERSONAL FAVOR.  If people have a sense of entitlement with you, fix that situation.  Remember the words, “Personal Favor.”  Do not feel guilty for having boundaries.  Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her atstraighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

 

 

 

Inland Empire: Straight Talk With Danice

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

My husband is a mechanic who works for an auto dealership.  He is a very nice man who takes on side jobs at our home on his days off.  I know it gives him satisfaction to help his friends and relatives who can’t afford dealership prices, but my house is always overrun with people dropping off their cars.  I feel like I don’t have any privacy.  People come into the house to use the restroom, or if they are friends and family they think I want to make time to visit with them.  I don’t want to be rude, but I have a lot to do on the weekend to keep things good for our family.  I work full time, too. We have two kids and we only see my husband if we go out to the garage on the weekends. I feel guilty complaining, because my husband is trying to help people.  He often doesn’t charge for his labor, so this is not helping our family financially either.  I can’t ignore this anymore.

Frustrated Wife

Dear Frustrated Wife:

Your husband sounds like a decent man, but he is confused about how a family unit should work in order to keep the happiness and satisfaction levels in good shape.  It sounds like you are in charge of the children all weekend, while he serves friends, neighbors and family members.  I think your frustration stems from feeling like you are in it alone, and your marriage is suffering.  He would probably feel the same if he were in your shoes.

Let’s look at a few things.  Is your husband avoiding you for any reason?  Have you clearly communicated your frustration to him about having no privacy or time with him on the weekends?  Have you been over functioning on your own for a long time and he has come to believe this is acceptable?  Sit down with your husband privately and set some boundaries.  Discuss how the weekend routine needs to be in order for you to both have a satisfying experience.  Do not wait until your resentment is so severe that you no longer desire his company.

Good Luck,

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi, ND

Inland Empire: Straight Talk With Danice

Dear Dr. Danice:

I have been going to therapy for months to combat depression.  I have chosen to keep this to myself.  When friends come to my apartment uninvited, I don’t answer the door.  I have also stopped returning phone calls.  Talking to people and answering their questions is too hard for me while I work on my problems.  I have only one friend who I feel good talking to.  She says I should just admit my depression so that everyone understands me, but I think even more people would bother me.

Alfonso

Dear Alfonso:

You have the right to process your therapy and your emotions in your own way.  You do not owe anyone an explanation about why you are operating in a standoffish way at this time, but this just keeps people checking in on you.  If you have friends you truly love, maybe you would consider sending them an e-mail or text message. Let them know that you are working through some things and that you will not be in touch on a regular basis.  Ask them to respect your need for privacy at this time.  I think this is a polite social obligation given to people who care about you.  Doing it once should be enough.  I hope you will be feeling better soon.

Danice Akiyoshi, ND

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

 

Inland Empire: Straight Talk With Danice

Dear Danice Akiyoshi, ND:

My sorority sisters and I plan to take a cruise to Mexico this summer.  There are eight of us going, so we drew names to decide how the rooms would be shared.  I am nervous because I drew the girl who has OCD, and she has to have everything perfect all the time.  I’m a spontaneous person and never plan a thing.  Do you think it would be wrong of me to see if any of the other girls might be willing to switch roommates with me?   We are the worst match.

Gabriella

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Gabriella:

Your roommate is bound to discover your feelings if you approach the other people in your group.  Names were drawn; all is fair, so accept the outcome and get off to a good start.  Partnering with this person only applies to your stateroom right?  Where you sleep and shower should not have a significant bearing on how much fun you experience with your sorority sisters on this cruise.  I am old enough to know that things often happen for a reason.  You may find yourself forming a magnificent friendship with your roommate.  Maybe you even have something important to teach each other.  Carry on and concentrate on having a good time.

Danice Akiyoshi,ND

Straight Talk With Danice

DEAR DR. AKIYOSHI,

I have been suffering with terrible menopausal symptoms. I do not want to take synthetic hormones because I heard there is an increased risk for breast cancer. Breast cancer and thyroid cancer run in my family. My quality of life is terrible and all of my relationships are suffering. You once recommended some natural remedy for hot flashes and I lost that paper. Will you please mention it again?
Thank you
Sandra. H.

Dear Sandra,
The herbal remedy I recommend for hot flashes is called ‘Fem Drops.’ Or ‘Fem Drops plus’ if you are irritable or struggle with fluid retention. Female ‘Plus’ will help you relax, so take it at night. You can order it from Dr. Richard Schulze’s website at http://www.herbdoc.com.

I would also recommend that you gather information about bio identical hormone replacement. This is quite different from synthetic hormone replacement. Maybe you would consider reading the book by Suzanne Somers called “Ageless.” It is full of valuable information that will help you realize that you are not alone in your suffering. Doing an online search will direct you to many great sources of information as well. Another doctor I’m impressed with is Christiane Northrup. Her books have been helpful to many of my patients.
I wish you the best of luck. I hope you will be feeling better soon.
Danice Akiyoshi ND

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She has a great passion for alternative healing and has over 20 years of experience in this field. She provides a form of energy psychology called The Emotion Code, where she helps people literally get rid of their emotional baggage. She also offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.