Tag Archives: Nancy Stoops

2015, The Magic Year

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

 

Once again, Happy New Year to all of you wonderful beings. Yes, it’s a new beginning for us all.   It’s a chance to start fresh and finally become who we are meant to be.

 

The New Year brings unlimited possibilities and new energy that helps us believe that the sky is the limit.  The New Year gives us hope and many new chances.  I say, take these chances and make this year the best one ever!

 

Start this process by setting some small, very obtainable, daily goals.  Once you’re in the groove and have met the daily goals, it’s now time to set a realistic goal for the year.  You may or may not ever meet the year end goal, but it’s all about the steps or the process that we take in our attempt that cause us to change.  That’s what I want you all to focus on this year.  So what if you never get there all the way, you’re certainly moving in the right direction. Be proud of what you are able to do this year and don’t beat yourself up for what you couldn’t do.

 

I hope you will be good to yourselves this year and finally work toward who you are meant to be.  I want you to remember it’s all here for you; all you have to do is believe in yourself and go get what you deserve.

 

So, I dedicate this to all of you in hope that this will be a magical year. I wish for all of you to get out there and find all the greatness that exists in you and our very wonderful world.  It all starts by believing in yourself.

 

I believe in all of you, and want you to be the very best you can be!

A Brand New Start

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

A brand new year is here.  It offers a fresh start and a new chance for all.  Happy New Year to everybody!  I hope you had a peaceful and joyful holiday season.  I bet you’re thinking about what you would like to accomplish this New Year.

Let me start by saying, don’t look backward or forward, just look at today.  What would you like to do with today?  What are some behaviors you would like to change?  What do you want from today?  If you can answer these questions and do what you need to, you are on your way.

All we have is today so behave in a new way that moves you closer to your goals.  If you continue with that new behavior for the days in your future, you will eventually meet those goals.

Start this year being filled with hope and a new found belief in yourself.  Please don’t pay attention to past failures.  Instead focus on the here and now, because it truly offers a new chance.  Isn’t the thought of a chance for a brand new start exciting?  All you need is to believe, and I think anything is possible.

So learn to believe in yourself and in brand new starts.  Just for a moment close your eyes and see yourself meeting your goals and how very great you feel.

Brand new starts require brand new, positive attitudes.  So leave that negative attitude with your past and for today and all the new days to follow, believe you can fly and that there are no limits.  Make this year about making your dreams come true.  Take this New Year and become who you are truly intended to be.

I wish you peace, joy and luck in learning to embrace your very wonderful life!

 

A Gift From The Heart Is Priceless

By Nancy Stoops

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Times are tough for so many right now. I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money. It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody, you’ll give them this type of gift. The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves, much less somebody else.            Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season. Maybe I’m wrong, but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness – and those things are free. There are many ways to show love and kindness. This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them. I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for. I don’t spend too much, but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

I always love spending time with my family and friends, but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together. We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together. For us, the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other. We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well. Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family. We are all very sentimental, so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent. Just enjoy the holiday season!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Finding Support During The Holidays

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The holidays, for many of us, are joyful and fun, but that isn’t the case for everybody or every family. I think with the way our economy is this holiday season, it may be especially hard for many families.

I wanted to let you all know that I run free support groups. I run a group every Monday evening from 6 to 8 p.m., each week at the Walnut Gymnasium and Teen Center (located at 21003 La Puente Road in Walnut; their phone number is (909) 444-0089). I also run a grieving group the first Friday of every month from 9 to 11 a.m. at the Walnut Senior Center (located at 21215 La Puente Road in Walnut; their phone number is (909) 598-6200). Both of these groups are subsidized by the City, and in turn are free to you. These groups have been in place for over 15 years and have helped thousands of people. All you have to do to participate is show up. My Monday evening group handles many court-mandated needs as well.

So whether you’re feeling depressed during the season or just plain overwhelmed, come to a group and get some support. It can be very consoling to find out that you’re not the only one feeling the way you do during the season.

Just remember to not get so caught up in worrying about giving the perfect gift, or providing the perfect meal, or worrying that your house isn’t looking good enough to host a party. Keep in mind that the season is just about sharing and spreading our love. So focus on doing just that and don’t worry so much about not having a ton of money to spend on your loved ones.

We tell our children and loved ones to just to their best; well, now I’m telling all of you the same thing. Embrace the season and enjoy good times with your loved ones, all the while reminding yourself how very blessed you really are!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Embracing the Season

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Lights are being hung everywhere. People have a twinkle of joy in their eyes. The air is crisp and clean, and I feel filled with excitement as I prepare to celebrate the holidays with my loved ones.

Ever since I was a very little girl, I have really enjoyed this time of year. I love the idea of celebrating life and this season gives me one more reason to do just that.

I enjoy shopping for gifts and taking some long lunches along the way with the people I love. I enjoy the special flavored coffees this time of year. I love seeing the stores all decorated and people just seem to be a little kinder to each other, as well.

I walked out of my house this morning and thought about how lucky I am to have such wonderful people to celebrate with. I look forward to the dinners, the gift giving, and going away on an adventure; but mostly just being with all the people I love.

I will have an opportunity to take some time off and to really embrace the season. I love baking cookies with my son, shopping with my loved ones, having lots of time with my best friend, going out to breakfast with my husband, spending quality time with mom, and just having time to laugh together with all the people I love.

For me, the season is a wonderful opportunity to show how much I love the people that mean the most to me in this world. I hope you will do the same. I wish you peace and joy as you celebrate this wonderful time. I hope you will embrace the season and your loved ones and remember what this time of year is really about.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Feeling Very Thankful Every Day

By Nancy Stoops

My last Thanksgiving was about as great as a Thanksgiving can be. I was surrounded by the people I love the most. The day was spent telling stories, eating great food, laughing and enjoying each other.

We had four generations of life celebrating with us. My grandchildren really made the celebration special and always make me feel so blessed. I sat and marveled at the wonderful man that my son has grown into. And my wonderful mother; I was so happy and thankful that my mom was still alive to help us celebrate another wonderful family holiday.

I have always loved Thanksgiving, but I need people to realize we should feel thankful each and every day of our lives.

The morning after Thanksgiving, Midnight and I went for our daily run. The air was so very crisp and clean, and the music on my MP3 player delighted every fiber of my being. Every once in awhile during the run Midnight would look up at me with such gratitude and joy, and I would pat his head and tell him what a good dog he is and how much I love him. It was literally a perfect morning and I felt so alive and filled with such thankfulness.

I think we need to work on really appreciating what we have and how very blessed we truly are. Take this holiday season slow and savor each and every moment.

As you start to think about New Year’s resolutions, think about making them about being thankful every day, not just one day a year. Think about all that is so very right about your life. Take just a few minutes as you read this article to realize how very blessed you are and that every day is a new chance to start over and to appreciate all the good.

I hope to see more and more people hopeful and thankful for the very rare and wonderful journey we call life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Depression and the Holidays

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays? This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true. Believe it or not, this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody. I remember as a little girl wondering how anybody could be sad at this time of year. Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us. This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends. This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away. This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time. It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year. There are many places you could go and donate some time. There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are. You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal – and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. This year, don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself, life is just too short. Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday. My point is, learn to help yourself, and you will give yourself the greatest gift you have ever received.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

Travelling the World

By Nancy Stoops

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Ever since I was a very small girl, I always knew that I wanted to travel around the entire world.

It really all began when I was 17. I had graduated high school a semester early and then spent three months in Europe. At that point I became addicted to wanting to see the entire world.

Now, I have just two more continents to go. The plan is to see Australia this year and then, as I turn 60, go to Antarctica. I know I will always continue to travel, even though very soon I will have literally made it all around the world.

There are many ways to learn and I have experienced most of them. Travel is a very unique way to learn because you literally become part of what you are learning. There is no better way to understand a country or its culture than to become immersed in it.

I have gotten to know people from so many different walks of life, and have received blessings from a holy person within each of these cultures. I have also been part of many wonderful ceremonies and traditions, one of which involved dancing with goats in a Peruvian village. I will never forget my African Chief, my Thailand monk, all my shamans, and all the other wonder spiritual beings that I spent time with while being blessed. It has been my honor!

I also make sure that each journey comes with a close-up wild life experience. I have walked, fed and swum with 450 pound tigers. I have trained elephants, and swum with sea lions, sharks, and mantas. I have held the head of a cheetah in my lap for a petting session. This year I want to hold a koala and feed kangaroos. I love my life, and travelling really enriches it.

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727; or you may e-mail her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Straight Talk With Danice

By Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Six of my neighbors have season tickets to watch a professional sports team that is almost an hour away. They always invite me because I have a large vehicle and I’m willing to be the designated driver. My boyfriend says they are just using me and that they would have nothing to do with me if I didn’t drive them. I really have a good time with my neighbors and I never feel used. It’s not a sacrifice for me because I don’t like alcohol. I wonder if he is mad because there is only one spare ticket and he can never join us. What do you think?

-Suzanna

 

Dear Suzanna:

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is negative. Why does he think that your neighbors would “have nothing to do with you?” Is he insinuating that you are flawed in some way, and only have value because of your vehicle and driving abilities? If you are enjoying yourself, then there is no problem here. If your boyfriend is often negative to the point where he tears you down, you won’t be able to remain emotionally healthy in his company. Look at this closely. Good Luck.

-Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

 

Midnight, The Therapy Dog

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Midnight’s amazing story is now available at amazon.com. My new book, Midnight, the Therapy Dog, will make you laugh and cry and delight your soul. The book is a beautifully illustrated story about how Midnight loses his family and himself for a while. My friend, April Cruz, a brilliant artist, did the illustrations for this book.

Midnight never gave up and one day he was rescued by me. At 2-years of age, Midnight tested with me and we became a registered pet therapy team. Midnight is now 7-years old, and he has literally made thousands of people feel better.

Besides working in my practice, Midnight also visits St. Jude’s Hospital and the cancer center in Fullerton. He even has his own I.D. badge with his picture on it. Midnight also helps me at both of my support groups.

Midnight’s story will inspire you to help animals in need and to never give up. This book talks about being a broken spirit, and with love and care, growing into a being that helps others.

I am so very proud of Midnight and honored to be able to work with him. This book is truly my tribute to him and to all the other wonderful animals that get rescued, and to the wonderful people that rescue them. If you are looking for a pet, rescue animals make the best ones. Midnight is an example of what a rescue animal can become with the proper training and lots of love and care. Go online or go to the humane society and rescue a pet; I bet they will rescue you as well.

With the holidays so near, this book would make a great present for anybody. Please go to Amazon and look at this beautiful book.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar. She is now accepting new clients. Nancy also works as a motivational speaker, and she provides free family support groups, including sessions for seniors and teens. She can also handle many court-mandated needs. Nancy and Midnight, her therapy dog, can be reached at (909) 229-0727, or via email at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow,” is available at Amazon.com.

Celebrating the Simple Things

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe that each day we have the honor of being alive is call for celebration. Every morning as I awaken and see the sun rising and filling the sky with majestic colors, I am reminded of how lucky we are.As I step out in the morning with Midnight, my therapy dog, I feel blessed for his friendship and for the health that we both have. As we start our walk through our wonderful community, I am proud to be part of it and I enjoy the morning song of the birds around us. As we walk, I enjoy the trees and flowers that represent life in the neighborhood.

Midnight and I are greeted by the other daily walkers with a friendly smile and warm hello. It’s so nice to be part of such a wonderful neighborhood filled with such lovely people.

Sometimes the other dogs will visit with Midnight as we make our way through our neighborhood, and that makes Midnight a very happy soul.

I think the feeling of the sun on my face is just magical. The fragrant plants and flowers are intoxicating and so very delightful. Swimming or floating in water has always been very freeing for me. Laughter truly is the best medicine and I think we all could do a lot more of it. Looking up at a night sky filled with stars and a full moon can be an experience that provides a wonderful kind of solace. Just hanging out with my grandson is fabulous.

These simple things I speak of don’t cost any money, but are literally priceless. I think if we all take time to appreciate the simple things that are so wonderful in our world, we will be more positive. I think we will not dwell so much on what is wrong, but focus on what is right!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

Mind Changing Meditation

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with her certified therapy dog Midnight.

Since I was 17 years of age, I have been meditating. I think it is the healthiest and most effective way to clear one’s mind. Meditation can be done anywhere and anytime and does not require anything but discipline and a willingness to be patient, because to achieve total meditation takes years. I love meditation because I don’t need to use pills or alcohol to relax and quiet my mind.

Some time ago, a school district did a study with their students and the effects of daily meditation. They found that their students were able to focus and concentrate better and in turn their grades and their test scores improved drastically. They found their students to be less angry and the number of school infractions went down as well. They noticed their students having a much improved mindset, being happier and more balanced. This idea could have a profound effect on students with Attention Deficient Disorder.

So take five minutes from your day and find a quiet place. Pick one word to focus on, and just think about that word. When other thoughts come rushing back in, go back to your word to push away the thoughts. Start with small increments of time and then extend the time you are meditating based on your newly acquired skills. I like the word, “peace,” as it seems to work very well for me.

I know that I’m a much more efficient human being because I have a pretty quiet mind, and I attribute that to all the years of daily meditation. The goal of meditation is to clear your mind of all thought, acquiring total inner peace. You will sleep better and feel much happier and more balanced.

So, do yourself a favor and start the daily practice of meditation today. I promise if you practice consistently you will literally transform yourself and your life. I wish you peace.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

The Lovely Country of Ecuador

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Every year I go on a spiritual journey. As a psychotherapist I give all of me, and this is my way of filling my mind, body and spirit back up. This year, I decided to go to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands and I’m so very glad I did. I must start by telling you how wonderful and warm the people of Ecuador are. My guide, Chris, couldn’t do enough for me. She was fabulous and I know someday I will see her again.

I was fascinated when I was taken to the middle of the earth, which is about an hour out of Quito. I stood with one foot in the north equator and one foot in the south equator, and heard a wonderful talk when I was there. I was then taken to the community of Otavalo, where many Shamans and Curanderos live. I received a cleansing and a blessing from this wonderful woman that has worked as a Curandero for years. She and her husband are pretty well known for their work.

I also had the opportunity to take a yacht to the Galapagos Islands. There were six other passengers besides myself. How do I begin to describe all that I saw? I was on this yacht for almost a week and each day we would travel to a new island for hiking and snorkeling. I have never seen so many sea lions in my life. I was fascinated by them and got as close as I could without touching them (it is against the law to touch the wildlife or to take anything out of the Galapagos Islands).

During the next few weeks I will continue writing about my journey. One thing I can say with certainty: everyone should go visit these spectacular Islands and be forever changed!

 

This article was written by Nancy stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

Being on Probation

By NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist and therapy dog Midnight

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with her certified therapy dog Midnight.

I have worked with many families that have had children on probation. This can cause a lot of stress on the entire family.

There can be many responsibilities that go along with probation, depending on the crime. I have usually found that there seems to be some sort of private or group counseling, parent education, and community service required pretty globally. In addition, anger management, drug and/or alcohol counseling, and perhaps some sort of weekend work program could be required. It is also important that the person on probation is doing well in school, following any curfews imposed, and whatever else the court papers specify.

I have talked with many families that have had children in juvenile hall or a work camp. They have told me it’s very hard to go visit your child in such a facility, especially when the parents get to go home and the child has to stay.

Encourage your child to behave well if they are locked up. I have known children to obtain special privileges for good behavior, and this can make the time go by faster. If your child is on probation and not locked up, remind them how serious things could get if they violate their probation.

Many parents feel they really pay the price for their child’s crime. Usually the parents have to coordinate and enforce all the things the court is requiring, attend parent education, and pay fees and attorney charges. So I think the whole family pays when a child commits a crime.

My advice is to try to become a stronger family and take advantage of all you are being asked to do by the court. Maybe these things are necessary to finally get your family on track.

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

 

Great Things Are Possible If You Believe In Yourself

BY NANCY STOOPS

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

What is it that seems to set you apart from somebody you consider a successful human being? Do you find yourself always doubting your capabilities? Are you really willing to always settle for less than you really deserve? Don’t you understand that you have wings and that you really could fly if you just believed in who you are and how capable you are?

Please trust me when I tell you that there are no limits except the ones that are self imposed. You can be and have whatever you desire if you set goals and just keep moving toward them. If you do this, after a while you will be who you want to be and have the wonderful life that you are so very deserving of.

Right now this very moment make a promise to yourself that you refuse to settle anymore. Today is the day that you will change that mindset that allows you to always be less and have less of a life than you desire. Today is the day that you will discover your wings and each and every day from now on you will discover how to fly.

I want you to become the author of your very own fabulous script for your life. Tomorrow is much too long to wait because all you really have is today. Stop deceiving yourself and start being somebody you are proud of. I know if you tell yourself the truth you will grow into somebody you really want to be.

I have witnessed the transformation of many and have had the honor of helping in the process as well. Just know that I have faith in you and I know you can grow into who you are intended to be.

Taking Up Space Vs. Learning

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Every day that our children go to school they make a decision to either just take up space or to really learn. Most children are in school for the better part of their day. The law tells us our children need to get an education. Many children thrive and do very well, many do not.

This is a great time to have a discussion with your child about what they need to do to make this school year better. Explain to them that they have to be there and they have a choice to either take up space or really soak up what is being taught. Having the correct mindset can be a very powerful tool when one is trying to succeed in any area.

Take some time to explain how many hours they are spending at school and ask them if they like wasting their time.   I add up the hours my clients spend per year in the classroom and then I explain that they have a choice in how they can use those hours. I don’ think anybody likes the idea of wasting their time. Ask your children what worked for them last year and what they seem to need help with. Also remind them that some of the most brilliant people need help and that asking for help does not imply that you are unintelligent.

Help make this year your child’s best one yet. Explain how valuable their time in the classroom is. As the world becomes more competitive we as parents need to do all we can to help our children succeed. Getting a great education is a huge part of that recipe for success and so is helping them build the confidence they need.

This article was written by Nancy stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Diamond Bar, and is currently accepting new clients. Nancy also runs free family support groups, anger management groups, and special groups for seniors and teens. She is also available for motivational speaking engagements. For more information on any of these services, contact Nancy at (909)229-0727.

.

 

Starting This School Year Prepared

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The return to school begins very soon and you need to help your children prepare. This is a good time to start having them go to bed a little earlier and to help them get organized.

Make sure to buy them a good notebook with subject dividers, with folders in those dividers to organize their work. Take some time to talk with your child about what worked for them in the last school year, and what they can improve upon this year. Help them set some goals for this year to help make them better students. Also, if your child is starting at a new school, take them to the campus to help them feel comfortable with its layout.

Every year many parents bring their children to me to help them improve in school. I teach them time management skills and we work on not procrastinating. You can help your child with this as well. You can set up a reward system for whenever you see positive changes in them. Time management skills and organizational skills are essential in helping your child succeed in school, and in life in general.

Getting your child to eat a good breakfast and make healthy choices at lunch time is crucial for getting them through the day with the necessary energy to be successful. Besides enough sleep and good nutrition, I feel a multivitamin is very important as well.

Many of these ideas are taught at my free counseling groups. We meet at the Walnut Teen Center every Monday from 6 to 8 p.m. No invitation is needed and everybody is welcome to attend. The address is 21003 La Puente Road in Walnut. Feel free to contact me at (909) 229-0727 if you have any questions. Midnight, the therapy dog, is also there to help!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

Having Fun In The Summer

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Summer is a wonderful time to do so many fun things. I really enjoy being outside and all the activities that go with it being warmer. I love outdoor concerts and I find the venues offer opportunities to go see many of my favorite artists. I love listening to my favorite music while being able to enjoy a beautiful evening sky. If you are a little short on cash many of the cities offer free concerts in the park. It is a great opportunity to pack up a picnic dinner and go enjoy an evening in the park.

As the sun starts to go down and it cools down a bit, a walk in the evening can be a great way to help stay healthy during the summer. As you walk, I hope you will take sometime to enjoy the magnificent sunsets that we have been having this summer.

Summer is also a great time to invite family and friends over for a cookout or maybe take everybody down to the beach and cook there. You could rent a kayak, take a harbor or a dinner cruise, go to Catalina for the day, or build sand castles. These are just a few of the activities the beach offers for all ages. You could find a dog beach and spend the day down at the beach with your most loyal and best friend.

There are still many days of summer left if you should want to take a family vacation. It could be a simple as camping down at the beach or as elaborate as going out of the country. Remember how quickly your children are growing up and try to take advantage of the fact that they are on summer break. Try to spend some quality time with them this summer. Turn off the electronics and make a pitcher of lemonade and spend some time as a family outside enjoying each other and this wonderful season called summer.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

Becoming Who We’re Intended to Be

BY NANCY STOOPS

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe we are all born with an incredible potential to be our best. I think that there is a plan for our lives. Within that plan is an interpretation of us at our absolute personal best. My goal has always been to keep growing and functioning at my optimum each and every day. I believe that if I do this, I will grow into the person I’m intended to be. This is my way of honoring my life and my creator.

Life isn’t always an easy thing and many curve balls will be thrown our way. Having lost one brother to suicide, another to murder, and a father to pancreatic cancer has taught me how vulnerable we all are. It has also made me feel so very blessed to still be alive and well.

I don’t just want to go through my life living to die; instead I have always died to live. I want to be my best so that I can experience my life fully. I live my life very passionately and want to feel all of it.

It is very hard work to examine the pieces of yourself that get in the way of being who you are intended to be. It’s even harder work to have the courage to let go of these dysfunctional pieces. Most of these pieces have been a part of us for a long time, and serve some dysfunctional purpose that we have grown to rely on. It’s in really learning to let go that will allow us to become who we are intended to be. This gut-wrenching, but very worthwhile, personal work can lead us into total inner peace and contentment.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

 

Waiting for Some Relief

BY NANCY STOOPS

Things happen in our lives that literally seem to make us feel as if we couldn’t possibly go on. When my brother, Rory,

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

committed suicide, I thought that was the end of me; but I survived. Then my other brother, Jeff, was murdered, and once again I thought for sure I was finished; but I went on. My father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and a week later he died. Now this one almost did destroy me, but I found my way out of the darkness and back to the living.

I’ve learned much of my life is out of my control and things happen that I hate. I also have learned that the only thing I have power over is myself, and how I play the cards I am dealt. When horrific things occur in our lives we feel as if we can’t breathe, move or go on. We sit around just praying for some relief from all of the pain. Prayers always help, but we also need to help ourselves out of the darkness. We can’t just wait around for some miraculous way to feel relief. We need to reach out and get some help when our pain is bigger than we are. If we stay in it, it will swallow us up.

We deserve to heal and to move on. I, too, have had to ask for help in the past. Get up and make that phone call to start living your life again. Don’t you think you have suffered enough and that it’s time to let go of your past and of all that pain? Isn’t it time to stop ignoring the red flags with your child or teenager and finally reach out and get them some help? Isn’t it about time you got some very much needed relief? Stop waiting for the tomorrows because too many have already come and gone; get help today!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com