Straight Talk With Danice

Our marriage isn’t exciting – A Letter from Brian B.

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

 By Danice Akiyoshi

Q: My wife has started to make suggestions about making our marriage more exciting.  This confuses me.  I asked her if she was dissatisfied about something in particular and she said no, that she just wanted our marriage to be a little more exciting.  I feel like I’m a good husband and I don’t think we need any changes.  Is she having a mid-life crisis?  We’ve been married for 19 years and our marriage has been good in my opinion.  I’m confused.

A: Your wife should be able to freely make a request like this after 19 years of marriage.  Her desire to have a little more excitement does not mean you are lacking as a husband, nor does it mean she’s suffering from a mid-life crisis.  At this time, I would advise you to take her words seriously and open a conversation with her to discover exactly what she has in mind.  Ignoring her request will be a big mistake and probably cause her to feel that her needs are insignificant to you.  If you’ve been married for 19 years, you already know that this is not a desirable situation.  Give it a try, Bryan.  You might be pleasantly surprised.  If her requests are over your personal limit, that also requires a conversation, but you won’t know until you start the conversation.  Don’t delay.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Services. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. To send a question to Danice, email her at You can also visit her website at