Straight Talk With Danice

No intimacy after lumpectomy – A letter from Claire


Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

By Danice Akiyoshi

Q: I have noticed that my husband doesn’t approach me romantically since I had a lumpectomy in my breast.  I have been fully healed for three months and my doctor said everything was fine.  I am too embarrassed to ask him why because we are both kind of shy.


A: This is a fairly common question.  Since you’ve admitted that you are shy and not able to have sensitive conversations very easily, I’m wondering if your husband is worried about hurting you in some way.  I hear this quite often from men whose wives are recovering from medical issues.  If you do not have any other problems, try buying him a card that tells him how much you missed him while you were healing.  Tell him you would like a date with him and extend the invitation to take him out for a special evening.  Try your best to gently get the ball rolling to encourage romance.  If my thoughts are correct, this should be enough to put his mind at ease.