Be Who You Want to Become

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Change is something that doesn’t happen overnight.  Just for a moment I want you to think about who you long to be.  For me I always want to be happy and peaceful.  The way that I work on this is by trying to smile, laugh and appreciate every day and then I am happy.  I also try to do the things that I enjoy and always have some type of adventure planned.  This is a good recipe for happiness for me.  As far as being peaceful, I meditate daily and try not to let things irritate me too badly.  I also must always remind myself that I am only in control of myself and of my responses.  I don’t have the power to control others.  This seems to be an equally good recipe for inner peace.  Now I must keep in mind I am human and that there will be very difficult days that maybe my recipes struggle but must pat myself on my back for tying my best.

Now it’s your turn to think about who you want to be.  Get out a piece of paper and write down one characteristic that you would like to obtain.  My example to help you will be living a healthy life style.  This doesn’t mean a crash diet and working out so hard for a couple of days that you can’t move.  It means that you will eat a well- balanced meal, exercise consistently, drink lots of water, get plenty of rest, quit smoking, learn to drink alcohol in moderation, and manage your stress daily.  This plan may differ for each individual because it will need to be balanced around the demands of each individual’s lives.  My point is we eventually become what we do and how we behave!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at