By Sarah Sanchez 

I am a nobody

I will never think

I am worth something,

I have no talents

I can’t believe that

I have a purpose,

In this life

I am ugly

I will never say

I am beautiful,

I am alone

I will never feel that

I belong,

God made a mistake

I will never believe

I am good enough to live,

The way I feel about myself:

I need to change

(Read each line from bottom to top to read the truth)

Attorney With Rare Genetic Disorder Hopes To Inspire Others

By Toni Tantlinger
Cary M. Berman arrived in the world 52 years ago already saddled with a rare neurological disease.

He was well into adulthood before it was confirmed that he suffered from Late-Onset Tay-Sachs (LOTS), a genetic disorder that leads to damaged cells and a steady deterioration of muscle control. He was one of 250 in the world when diagnosed with LOTS, and it explained lots of medical challenges that he encountered in his life.

Usually, symptoms start with clumsiness and weakened leg muscles. Over time, there is more loss of mobility, which can lead to the need for a cane or wheelchair. Speaking and swallowing difficulties also can emerge. There are also psychiatric consequences in 50 percent of the patients with LOTS.

“Basically, my medical challenge has brought imbalance and chaos to every aspect of my life,” says Berman, who tells his story in “Genesis: Born with Tay-Sachs” (www.livingwithtaysachs.com). “My challenge has been to bring balance back into my life.”

Like many who suffer from Tay-Sachs, Berman concentrates on strategies for managing life with the disease because a cure does not exist, though research is ongoing.

Tay-Sachs is caused by a missing enzyme, hexosamindase A. Three forms of the disease exist, according to the National Tay-Sachs and Allied Diseases Association. They are classic infantile, a fatal version where babies show symptoms at about six months; juvenile, which most often appears between ages 2 and 5; and late-onset, the version Berman has, where the symptoms usually appear in late adolescence or early adulthood, though can appear later.

French Canadians, Louisiana Cajuns and people of East European Jewish descent are considered high risk. Berman is Jewish.

Berman says he has been able to do battle with his medical condition with the help of his family, friends and faith. His stubbornness also doesn’t hurt.

“When someone tells me I can’t do something, I want to do it,” says Berman, who worked as an assistant public defender in Illinois for 27 years before his disease sidelined him.

He hopes that by sharing his experience, he can inspire others who face difficulties.

“Everyone in life has at least one challenge to address,” Berman says. “It might have to do with health, finances, family or something else. But I think there are some common approaches that apply for overcoming adversity of any type.”

He offers these suggestions:

• Take control. This is no time to accept defeat. “I believe in taking active control of your life rather than approaching challenges in a passive fashion,” Berman says. “Don’t just sit back and let things happen to you. Yes, the challenge you face may be extremely difficult, but you need to be a catalyst in your own life, making the bad situation better.”
• Maintain a good mental attitude. Perhaps nothing is more important in dealing with challenges than mental attitude, Berman says. To nourish a positive attitude, he often pushes himself to attempt things outside his comfort zone, such as when he learned to rock climb in Thailand.
• Embrace friends and family.  Having a support network makes all the difference, because everyone needs others to lean on in times of trouble, Berman says. “Without a doubt, the most powerful and important relationship I have is with my wife, Carmen,” he says. “She is my best friend and most trusted confidant.” But friends can come in all sizes, races, genders and backgrounds, and his certainly do, he says.

Berman believes that “The most successful person is the one who can deal with adversity effectively.”

By Michael Armijo

I stood there in the courtyard, and waited.  Her little eyes, her bright smile, her warm hugs…I was waiting for them all.  It would be just a few minutes before that bell would ring, it would be just a few minutes before my little love of life would run out smiling, wrapping her arms around me proclaiming, “Daddy, I love you.”

The bell rang and I stood there.  I watched; I waited.  I sought her out, but she didn’t show.  Hundreds of kids ran by and I made eye contact with each and every one of them.  There wasn’t a chance that she would’ve gotten by me.  My mind knew what she looked like, what she resembled, and all her characteristics.  I was like a machine, scanning the crowd, like a robot with a mission.  I was waiting for someone who made my life complete, who I had given my heart to, who I trusted with my feelings, my spirit, my life.

After most of the children passed me by, I felt a sensation of panic.  I felt a sense of fear.  I was afraid that I had lost one of the only people in life that I knew loved me, unconditionally, and now, who would be there in the end?

When I felt that panic, when I felt the fear of losing someone I really loved, I wondered why. Why did I feel so fearful?  Why was I so afraid?  Why did I feel such a sense of panic?  And then I remembered what had happened.

I remembered my mother, my father, my family.  I remembered how much they loved me, how they took care of me.  I remembered giving my 8-year old heart to those who I thought I could trust.  And then I remembered how one day my life changed.  I still don’t recall how, and I still can’t understand why, but for some strange reason, when I was growing up my life was filled with love and joy, and then one day it was all taken away.  All that I knew as a child, all that I trusted, was ripped from my heart, and then ripped from my soul.  And no one explained why.

After the inconsistency of that environment, I found new love from girlfriends in high school.  And then they too, like my family, left me, and took parts of my heart with them.  I remember, at 16 years of age, standing in the aisle of Sav-on, stocking shelves, while tears poured from my eyes.  I was hurt, I was devastated, and I was alone. Again, someone whom I had given my heart to had taken away a piece of my inner self.  And again, they left without a word.

It took so long for me to love again, to fully trust people, but somehow I did. I began to give my heart, or what was left of it, to others whom I felt I could trust.  I slowly began to rebuild my life, or so I thought.

The way I felt that day so many years ago when I couldn’t find my daughter, when that sleeping giant of fear woke up and looked around – I remembered the pain, and the sorrow and I remembered how much love hurt.  I guess that when I waited for her, those feelings of abandonment returned, and I was afraid of losing yet another love in my life.  I didn’t have much heart left to lose; I couldn’t stand to go through what I had experienced so many times, and so many years ago.  But I faced those demons of fear and abandonment and grew from my pain.  I simply refused to let my past interfere with my future.  I had worked too hard to let irresponsible acts of yesterday interfere with what I had built for today. That day, I found my daughter, and I faced my fears.

As each day passes, I thank God for the opportunity to feel feelings and emotions that some people will never feel.  I thank God for being able to enjoy my life with a smile and a hug.  More importantly, I thank God for allowing me to understand that someday I may lose the ones I love, but not to fear, because today is the day I will enjoy their presence, their love, and their joy.  And when they’re gone, I will still make wonderful memories, so that I can remember that God has given me a beautiful place in my soul – free from past pain, free from fear and abandonment, and free from lost love.

By Toni Tantlinger

Some people start each day with an early morning jog. Others begin with a cup of coffee and a donut.
“Everyone knows that people are creatures of habit,” says wellness expert Scott Morofsky, author of the books “The Daily Breath: Transform Your Life One Breath at a Time” and “Wellativity: In-Powering Wellness Through Communication” (www.Wellativity.com).
“But too often, the habits we nurture are laziness, procrastination, self-serving biases, justification and rationalization.”
Such behaviors put people on a path to destruction, all the while making them look forward to the trip, he says. In the process, they are robbed of essential happiness and joy.
The trick to improving isn’t just by ridding yourself of habits, he says, but by replacing the bad ones with good ones.
“I really believe people can use practical methods to reprogram themselves for life-enriching habits and overcome any affliction they suffer from,” Morofsky says. “After all, we all know the things that hurt us and we know that we shouldn’t be doing those things. So why don’t we stop? Because we don’t know how to go about making these changes happen.”
For Morofsky, the key is for people to become conscious of something they take for granted – breathing. By conditioning yourself to improve the quality of your breathing, you do a better job of taking in oxygen. A lack of sufficient oxygen in our cells is known to contribute to many health issues, he says.
“The important thing to remember is you don’t need pills, potions, gadgets or gizmos to make a change for the better happen,” Morofsky says. “Your desire for a better life and a system that helps you achieve it are all you need – if you’re willing. It’s a matter of getting your mind, body and spirit working together in a practical way.”
He offers these tips to get started going into the New Year:
• Conscious breathing. Morofsky made conscious breathing the centerpiece of Wellativity, which is what he calls his personal method for helping people overcome afflictions such as obesity, smoking, lethargy, eating disorders and any other behavior that inhibits wellness. This is much like the advice people hear their entire lives to “take a deep breath” when they face stressful moments. “The core focus is conditioning ourselves to stay as connected to conscious breathing as possible and to clear away anything negative or detrimental,” Morofsky says. Breathing awareness in itself helps reduce bodily tension, improve rational thinking and increase oxygen to the entire body.
• All in good time. One of the most common pitfalls people face when they want to improve their lives is trying to do too much too soon, Morofsky says. That’s especially true with exercise or physical fitness programs, but it applies to other areas of life as well. It’s fine to be ambitious about trading bad habits for good, but don’t set yourself up for failure by creating unrealistic goals.
• Healthy boundaries. When you are establishing a healthier lifestyle, it’s important that you have healthy boundaries. “An alcoholic in recovery shouldn’t join the crowd at the bar while waiting for a dinner table,” Morofsky says. “A person with a gambling problem shouldn’t vacation in Las Vegas. As much as possible, when you are trying to trade bad habits for good, put yourself in the best position to be successful.”

By Michael Armijo

The holiday season brings many positive memories, but it can also remind me of the painful ones, too. The season is filled with family and friends, but when they are gone the pain of their absence has a tendency to sink in.

Friends have reminded me that you cannot live in the past, but I remind them, “The absence of those close to us who have passed away isn’t in the past, it’s in the present.”  Since they were always around to share their love, their absence leaves our hearts aching for their presence on a daily basis.

There are mile markers:  the first summer they weren’t here to share with us; the first Halloween they weren’t here to dress up in a costume I could make fun of; the first time I didn’t receive the usual Thanksgiving invite; and the first Christmas I didn’t have to go in search of the perfect gift.

Now, on this New Years Eve, I will struggle without the “I love you, man” drunken phone call exactly at 12:01 am.

Every year for the last 17, I was privileged enough to have someone in my life who shared those things with me:  their life, love, passion, experiences, hope, and feelings.

I know today is a new day, and I believe that I am not alone. But when those who share their life with you and give you the feeling that they will love you regardless of your many faults, failures, and shortcomings leave this earth, you cannot help but feel their absence. A piece of you that had confidence and support is now gone.  An entity of your life’s confusing and rollercoaster-like existence is gone.

It feels like your dysfunctional life is like a puzzle, with some critical pieces missing.  So you try to find those pieces through other relationships, through new loves and old friends; through random acts of kindness and honesty.

But sometimes it feels like those pieces – which you’ve worked so hard to replace – have somehow deteriorated; vanished; dissolved in your hands.  You’ve tried to stop it, but it became physically impossible. You’ve tried to “will it” differently; “wish it” to reverse. You’ve tried to close your eyes and wake up from a bad nightmare. But each day that bad dream again becomes a harsh reality.

So I call each day, with or without friends, a day at home. Those that were loved and lost had earned a place in my heart; a room in my self-fabricated, non-dysfunctional home.  But now that they’re gone, I feel a bit lonely, and a bit to myself.  And I just can’t stop that feeling that I was left completely by surprise, and left to feel Home Alone.

By Brittany Thomas

The calendar doesn’t lie and already you may feel the stress starting to build.
The holidays are approaching, bringing with them a flurry of must-accomplish tasks such as baking, shopping, entertaining, traveling and dealing with eccentric family members who arrive ready to renew decades-old arguments.
So how can you endure without all those stress-inducing moments ruining your health and sapping your holiday spirit?
First off, don’t stress about the fact you feel stressed, says Dr. Donna L. Hamilton, author of “Wellness Your Way: The Short and Sweet Guide to Creating Your Custom Plan for a Happier, Healthier Life” (www.wellnessyourwaybook.com).
“Stress is pervasive,” Dr. Hamilton says. “Stress is a fact of life. And stress isn’t even always bad. Some people need a certain amount of stress to function optimally.”
At its core, holiday stress is just like any stress, only with burnt sugar cookies and interminable waits at the retail-checkout line involved.
Dr. Hamilton offers these five tips to help you feel less stressed as you navigate your way through holiday hassles.
• Connect with the spirit of gratitude that marks the season. Research shows that expressing gratitude can help improve mood, increase energy levels, relieve stress and increase motivation, Dr. Hamilton says. So look for reasons to be grateful during the holidays, whether it’s being thankful for good health, a rewarding career, a loving family or some other positive in your life.
• Pause for a moment. Remember to take a few deep, relaxing breaths throughout the day no matter how you are feeling. Even positive emotions like excitement and enthusiasm can create stress in the body, just like typical stress emotions such as anger and frustration do, Dr. Hamilton says. That’s why it’s important to periodically do something that promotes relaxation during active times.
• Make sure you get enough sleep. Your body needs its rest and a lack of sleep makes it more difficult to deal with the stressful situations you might face through the holidays. With parties to attend, travel schedules to plan and gifts to wrap, it’s easy to trim back the amount of time you normally spend sleeping. Be careful not to let that happen, Dr. Hamilton says.
• Take a walk after you eat. This works two ways for you. It helps relax you and is good exercise. “A nice walk is a good way to separate yourself from the pressures you might be feeling,” Dr. Hamilton says.
• Dance and laugh often. They both burn calories and help lift your mood. “We probably can’t do enough of either of these,” Dr. Hamilton says.
Many people feel the need to do something for others during the holiday season, but Dr. Hamilton says it’s important to remember as you bake pies, wrap gifts or hang decorations that you also must pay attention to your own physical and mental needs.
“You can’t give from an empty cup,” Dr. Hamilton says. “Self-care is a necessity, not a luxury.”

Courtesy of StatePoint

Sometimes it can seem impossible to surmount life’s obstacles, particularly if you have been dealt more than your fair share. But you can often draw on the strength of others for inspiration and helpful advice, especially those who have gracefully overcome difficult trials of their own.

Author and musician Vanessa Leigh Hoffman first learned of the power of her own strength as a teenager when she was undergoing chemotherapy while attending school and writing and recording music.

“One can conquer anything he or she puts a focus on,” says Hoffman, who over the course of her life, endured both stage three Hodgkin’s disease and a car accident that left her in a coma for close to two weeks. “After my accident, I had to relearn to walk, talk, write, sing and do even the most menial tasks.”

While not everyone will have to deal firsthand with that much tragedy, we are all subjected to unexpected challenges in our daily lives. To help, Hoffman is offering some practical insights for coping with everything, big or small.

• Be inspired: Allow your negative experiences to be your inspiration. For example, Hoffman has reprised some of the great themes of her life in her art. Her new novel, “Treasure,” a fast-paced trilogy, tells the story of two twin boys orphaned and separated at birth, challenging readers to ask critical questions about how our lives are shaped. “Treasure,” the winner of the Hollywood and Southern California book festivals, was inspired by Hoffman’s real life encounter with President Kennedy’s former chef, a mysterious figure in her life.

• Don’t be disheartened: Whether it’s discouraging feedback from a teacher or a bleak prognosis from a doctor, don’t let the words of experts, however well-intentioned, define the scope of your potential. After Hoffman’s accident, the medical team caring for her predicted that she would never talk, walk, read or write again. Instead of resigning herself to their expectations, she became a veritable renaissance woman, as a singer-songwriter, businesswoman and author fluent in four languages, amongst other varied pursuits.

• Have goals: It’s easy to let your goals fall by the wayside, particularly when life’s challenges prove time consuming, distracting and demoralizing. By embracing your passions and pursuing those things that you hold most dear, it will be easier to stay motivated to follow through.

More information about the “Treasure: A Trilogy” and Hoffman, who is donating a portion of the proceeds from her book to St. Jude’s Children Research Institute and Hospital, can be found at http://www.VanessaLeighHoffman.com.

When life gets tough, don’t focus on despair. By allowing endurance and perseverance to rule the day, you can achieve more of what you set out to do.

*****

By Michael Armijo

You know, I never really called him daddy. My sister did, and I always envied how he brought that up so many times. But now I can say, “I miss my daddy.”  When he died something inside me died. I think it was the first time I realized that I was really on my own. I always felt that dad would “take me in” had I ever made a major mistake in life, had I lost everything and had no place to go. But that feeling is gone, I no longer have a ‘safety net’ in my life.  He’s not there to “take me in” anymore. At that time I realized that there was no turning back.

I do miss him, despite the anger he carried and conveyed to me. But what I miss is his strength; and later, his encouragement. He always told me how he admired the way I took on the world if I had a dream. He always said I was so strong to make hard decisions and take action. He loved to watch me work. And he loved working with me. The funny thing is, now that he’s gone I don’t make hard decisions anymore. I don’t take action like I used to. Maybe I was showing off to daddy, trying to be the star above the other kids in our family. But my dad meant so much to all of us, we all tried so hard to be number one in our daddy’s eyes. And fortunately, we all got our turn to be number one. But I almost didn’t get my turn, being the youngest. I got my turn at the end of his life. Had I not confronted him five years before he died, had I not tried to get my turn at being the number one child, I never would’ve received my fifteen minutes of ‘family fame.’

In retrospect, our family never really communicated. I think this is why it took me so long to really get to know my father. It’s kind of strange, we really didn’t know what was deep inside daddy, but we needed to be recognized by him. It meant so much to us to be recognized by someone we often felt was a stranger. And I know that I kept many things to myself, holding many memories prisoner in my mind, and some in my heart, that I never shared with him. He did teach us that we had the ability to do whatever we wanted, but he never really taught us how to communicate. I believe we need clarity; this assures us of where we stand within our lives. We would then teach our children to understand the importance of expression, the importance of how to express our feelings.

When I expressed how I felt to my father, I found out why he treated us the way he did. When we discussed his life and what happened to him when he was a child, the abuse and the neglect he endured (and we ultimately inherited), we understood, together, what happened to him. And what happened to us. But we forgave and we healed. I became more of a complete person; I closed those rough chapters in my life. This is why I believe in the importance of the ‘healing power of expression.’

Although my dad and I became close friends and I got to know him on a personal level, there is something that I always wished he would’ve said to me, something I waited all my life to hear but never did. Something I know he died with, in his heart, but he never verbally gave to me. The five simple words, “I’m so proud of you.”  That’s all I ever wanted to hear from my daddy, that’s the one thing that will always be a void at the corner of my soul.

I also realized something that I never thought of:  I never told my dad that I was proud of him, either. I am left to wonder if he carried the same disappointment in his life, as I did with mine. But today, what keeps me going is the hope that he’s looking down upon me each day, watching what I do and how my time is being spent. And I believe that he can’t hear what I say, but instead, he can see what’s truly deep within my heart. And as the sun shines warm rays upon me and as the wind whispers through the trees, I can lift my head high and close my eyes and feel his joyous heart whisper that he is so very proud of me; and my heart silently whispers back, that I, too, am very proud of him.

During The Gift-Giving Season
By Brittany Thomas
Online shopping has made life easier for consumers – and is especially handy during the holidays. But it’s also created more opportunities for “porch pirates,” the thieves who prey on those parcels left on our doorsteps.
Many porch pirates are low tech, simply cruising neighborhoods where they know deliveries are taking place and grabbing the unattended packages.
But porch pirates who also happen to be cyber criminals can use your own technology against you, says Gary Miliefsky, CEO of SnoopWall (www.snoopwall.com), a company that specializes in cyber security.
“A more sophisticated porch pirate might send you an SMS message or email with malware,” Miliefsky says.
“That would let them gain access to your computer or smartphone, and they could install a RAT (Remote Access Trojan). Then they can eavesdrop on your orders and deliveries.”
They also might be able to locate you through the geolocating feature on your phone, he says. That would tell them when you are away from home, the final link in their well-laid plan.
“If they know you aren’t home and that a package is scheduled for delivery, it’s going to be easy for them to steal it,” Miliefsky says.
Miliefsky offers these tips for outwitting porch pirates and keeping those packages safe:
• Get permission to ship all your packages to work. That way they aren’t left unguarded at your doorstep for hours where anyone walking by could snatch them. If this arrangement works out, be sure to tell all your friends and family also to ship packages to your work address.
• Ask a friend or neighbor to receive your packages for you. You might not be home on work days, but plenty of people are. Trusted friends who are retired or who work at home might be happy to let you have packages delivered to them for safe keeping.
• If a neighbor can’t receive your packages and you can’t get them at work, another option is available. Miliefsky suggests trying Doorman, a service that lets you arrange for a package to be held at a warehouse until you arrive home. Then you can arrange delivery for evening hours that better suit you. More on Doorman is available at www.doorman.com.
• Disable geolocation on your smartphone so that porch pirates – or other hackers for that matter – can’t track your location. No need to make it easier on them.
• Set up a live recording video camera aimed at your porch. That could allow you to spot a theft as it happens and alert law enforcement, or at least provide you with video later that might help identify the porch pirates.
“Porch pirates count on you being lax with your defenses,” Miliefsky says. “But with a little preparation, you can thwart their plans and leave them empty handed.”

By Sarah Sanchez

I have a friend who gave an analogy to explain her depression to me. She said that some days she felt like she was standing on a ledge, barely holding on. She said that sometimes she felt like letting go of that ledge, but as she “let go” she felt others still “holding” on to her. Her point was that when she felt like giving up, she had someone who still believed in her and wouldn’t let her give up.

How many times have we felt a depression like this? How many times have we wanted to take the easy way out and give up? With the stress of finances, relationships, work, family, and busy schedules, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and defeated. It’s easy to feel like giving up and not want to get up in the morning. It’s easy to feel like we’re ready to let go of the ledge.

But as we let go of that ledge, we can feel the others that are still holding on to us. Maybe it’s our friends or maybe it’s our family that’s still holding on. Or maybe it’s just one person in our life who we have impacted enough to still believe in us. All it takes is one person: one person who hasn’t given up on us, one person to keep going for, one person who’s worth living for, and one person who will keep holding on to us. But, will we keep holding on for them?

We have the power to be that one person in a loved one’s life. We have the tools to show unconditional love to those around us and to maybe change a life enough for someone to keep getting up in the morning.

But the big question is: are you that one person who is capable of impacting someone else’s life? Or are you the person who needs to get down from the ledge?

Circumstance Does Not Have To Dictate Terms Of Happiness

By A. K. Driggs

Happiness can seem like an endless journey fraught with many, often contradicting theories. There’s what you should and shouldn’t do; training states of mind; economic considerations; health; family; meaning; philosophy; spirituality – the list goes on.

But what actually works?

“As a newborn, they found me on a frigid winter’s day inside a brown paper bag left on a toilet seat in a bar-and-grill washroom in upstate New York,” says A. K. Driggs. “It would prove to be an inauspicious start for a happy life.”

Can someone with such a disadvantaged beginning life find happiness? We don’t have figures on abandoned babies in the United States, let alone a protocol based in the social sciences for how to help raise these infants as they mature. Fortunately, Driggs was adopted by a loving couple, but other challenges would come her way.

For Driggs, her estimated January birthday initiated an extended series of life obstacles – romance, sexual identity, insecurity, fear of abandonment, cancer, being bullied and other existential crises, career uncertainty – on the path to happiness.

“But I found it and, honestly, I’m sure I’m happier for having gone through the challenges beforehand,” says Driggs, author of “Abandoned in Search of Rainbows,” (abandonedinsearchofrainbows.com), which details her journey to wholeness. She offers advice for those who seek fulfillment in life.

• Self-acceptance is the gateway. We tend to worry about what’s wrong, which makes a certain amount of sense because what’s right doesn’t require attention. Of course, the problem with this paradigm is that we create an inner environment dominated by anxiety. And, ironically, we worry about all the things we tell ourselves that we first have to do to be happy. As a result, we often have that busybody voice perpetually telling us something is wrong.

“Accept that there are things that need to be done – you want to be healthier, find a better job or a long-term romantic partner – but these things don’t have to be accomplished in order to be happy,” Driggs says. “Anxiety is terribly inefficient. There’s no point in worrying about such issues unless you’re actively trying to yield a solution. Accept that you’re in the process of growth, and it’s not so bad.”

• Your spirituality is available to you every day. Many people wonder what spirituality means in practical terms. Aside from metaphysical aspects, some define spirituality as self-transcendence, which proves to be extremely valuable in our pursuit of happiness. Again, consider the subliminal voice that’s always telling us things like Your hair doesn’t look good enough or You said the wrong thing at the meeting and so forth. Are these concerns anything more than ego traps?

“There is a golden thread of truth that winds through and between the cloth of all religions if you look carefully,” she says. “Spiritual truth lies within each of us at the temple within. The Universe is vast, and our humility in relation to it is good because it relieves us of the ego burden.”

• Make peace with your sexuality, disability, religion, race, adoption and more. Thankfully, in 2015, society has come a long way in its relationship to those who are not the majority. Still, it’s not hard to feel different, and there are individuals and groups that are explicitly unwelcoming.

“It’s sad that many of us are still in a position of needing to advocate for those from minority groups, but there’s an upside to it,” Driggs says. “If you’re different, you are unique and you can embrace this identity. As an adoptee, for example, my parents instilled in me that I was special because I was chosen. A similar perspective can be taken by anyone who feels different for a number of reasons. Embrace who you are!”

• Don’t let go of what makes you happy! No matter how you’ve come across happiness – whether seemingly by accident or after a long, earnest effort – appreciate it by doing it. While that may seem like simple common sense, people lose sight of what makes them happy all the time.

“I found happiness in my spouse; the family that I’ve chosen, my friends; and singing as a recording artist,” she says. Whether it be dancing for fun, sewing, gardening or simply singing to all living creatures, don’t give up what makes you happy.”

By Sarah Sanchez

I attended a celebration a few months ago that honored Mark and Jeanne Hopper for dedicating 27 years of ministry to EFree Church and to the Diamond Bar community.
At the event, I heard so many wonderful stories about Jeanne and Mark. The theme I consistently heard was that they loved others and showed their love through their actions. Evelyn Gonzalez, a member of the worship team, said that she witnessed the Hoppers being very generous, very loving and accepting of everyone. She said that not only is Pastor Hopper a gifted teacher that can explain the Bible in an understanding way, but he also has the heart of a shepherd. “There was no ministry that he was above doing,” she exclaimed. “He is definitely a servant.”
Describing the Hoppers as servants and shepherds continued as many different people shared how the Hoppers have impacted their lives.
Mary Jo Dell-Imagine, Deacon of Submissions and a member of the church for 24 years, was the woman whose story truly touched my heart. With tears, she said that Mark Hopper was there for her when her husband was diagnosed with a terminal disease. Mark also helped Mary Jo when her mother passed away five years later.
Denise and Dennis Ahern agreed by saying that the Hoppers are caring people who live by example. Denise said that Jeanne is the reason why she is a teacher today because Jeanne went out of her way to help Denise get a teaching job. Then Dennis said that Mark took time out of his day to help him move. He said that the Hoppers don’t just speak the word of God; they live the Word through their actions.
This philosophy was truly shown through the people of EFree Church. Many of the members of the church showed us an overwhelming love by introducing themselves and even helping us find specific people in a crowd of 400.
But I think Dennis Ahern was the person who left the biggest impact on our experience at this event. Dennis left his dinner to help us find people to interview for an article. He went out of his way to help us capture the event perfectly. This one act amazed me because you usually don’t find many people willing to help others for nothing in return. But Dennis followed what he was taught by Pastor Mark; he showed love to a total stranger, to a reporter who saw a large crowd of people to interview and didn’t know where to start. To feel loved when you walk into a room of strangers is amazing.
For Mark and Jeanne to touch and change so many lives is inspiring and moving. Mark and Jeanne have shown us that it’s possible to change lives without saying a word; it’s possible to lead by example.

By Michael Armijo

I received an email a while back that has always resonated with me.  I find myself thinking about it from time to time, as the words it contained often remind me to work hard and be proud of what I’ve accomplished.  It has encouraged me to continue to keep my heart within my work, as you never know what life will bring you. It is good advice, no matter who you are or what you do, and I share it with you now.

The Carpenter:  An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife and extended family.  He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The employer, who was sorry to see his good worker go, asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you for all of your hard work and dedication.”

The carpenter was shocked; what a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we’ve built. If we could do it over, we’d do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. “Life is a do-it-yourself project,” someone once said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the “house” you live in tomorrow. Build wisely, and remember:  Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Enjoy life like it’s your last day on Earth.

By Michael Armijo

I remember closing my eyes, trying my hardest to embrace the way I felt. I wanted to burn into my memory the feeling of enchantment that overwhelmed me. I wanted the way I felt that evening to last a lifetime.

It wasn’t just dinner and cocktails with some co-workers. It wasn’t just a significant evening for someone special, a celebration of achievement. The evening meant more to me than it did to the person being honored. It was an evening in which I was proud to be included.

With my wife in my arms, I memorized the melody of the song as we slowly moved over the shiny, wooden dance floor.  A glance out of the window provided a beautiful view of the city.  A look around the room at people I respected and admired filled me with tremendous pride.  I will never forget how it felt to be present and included that night.

When I tried to recall the last time I felt this way, it took me back to the 7^th Grade. I remember failing all my classes and my teacher, Miss Contreras, helped to change my perspective.  She told me that I deserved to be number one; that I deserved to be the best and to feel proud of myself.  What she said worked, because I found the path that led me to becoming Student of the Year, along with top grades and a place on the honor roll.

Unfortunately, that feeling was taken from me. Abuse and neglect took those happy moments from my life and traded them for sadness and pain.

Over the years I’ve worked hard to overcome those hard times and make a positive difference in the lives around me. Just as Miss Contreras did for me, I’ve tried to help people find their own path to personal worth, encouraging people to live the life of an achiever; showing people that it can be done.

Because of who I was and where I’ve been, helping others and making a positive contribution has always meant so much to me.  I’ve always dreamed of feeling the satisfaction of making a difference – without conditions or ulterior motives.  I’ve waited for the day that I knew my accomplishments were worthy of my intentions.

And that evening – an evening I will forever hold dear in my heart – I stood there with peers of mine whom I respected, with the woman I’ve loved for nearly 30 years, and I felt proud of my life.  With a tear in my eye, I realized I have made a difference in the lives around me.

And just as I felt when I won that 7^th Grade Student of the Year award, I had earned a feeling that no one could ever take from me. I found the path to fulfillment for what I’ve done with my life, and realized it was okay to feel proud of myself.

By Michael Armijo

Is Social Media really Anti-Social Media?  With the advent of “smart-phones” our communication styles have perhaps become less intelligent.  With everything from a lack of actual conversation to cyber bullying, Social Media may be ruining many lives.

Social Media is the apple, and we are Adam and Eve.  With it, we’ve tasted the truth; we’ve been empowered.  Do we think we are God-like, making our own rules; defying purity; defying morality?  Were we ever emotionally equipped for the rapid advancement of the Facebooks, Twitters and Instagrams of this world?

There are now consequences for what we believe is acceptable, according to what the majority of a ‘conversational’ thread dictates.  It is sad that our individuality is being convoluted by our need – our greed – to be accepted, loved, and “liked”.

Our need to feel right socially has become our weakness.  God said the beast will try and destroy us; could the “beast” be technology?  “It” is surely behind this weakness, encouraging some with immorality and introversion.  Man created technology, not God.  And with this obsessive socialism of technology, could man be unknowingly destroying man?  Are we so ‘social’ that we are missing out on society?

Just a thought…

By Michael Armijo

It felt like a chill. Like a tingling inside my skull. As though I had missed something extremely important. Or something devastating. It was the shrill in her voice that really impacted me.

“Where are you? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for over an hour!”

I was a bit confused, a bit nervous about what I was about to hear, but I had to ask the question:

“Why? What happened? What’s so important?”

I was pretty shocked to hear the outcome of the question why I was being sought out so drastically.

“I couldn’t get a hold of you!”

That was it. I felt the shrill, the panic, the worry for; ‘I couldn’t get a hold of you.’

I was left trying to figure out: when did it happen? When did we get to a point in our lives that our whereabouts are necessary at all times? Or the flip side, when did our family become so insecure that they need to know where we are upon demand?

There was a time, not too far in the past, when we had privacy. We had time alone. Time for ourselves. Technology, in this day and age, seems to have given that ‘right’ away. Those moments of reflection, moments of inner thought. Those moments of peace, of serenity. We seem to continue to a need to be clouded, distracted, or entertained constantly.

There are times we must shut the computer, the iPad, the phone, the internet, and the TV off. To take a walk, to sit outside. To talk, read, share, and to listen. To learn how to communicate without a keyboard or a text message.

But our demise for ‘instance’ isn’t just technology’s fault, we too are to blame. We are constantly allowing others to rely on us to a point of severe dependency. Our thirst for technology and our constant obsession only shows our loved ones that it’s important to obsessively see all, and to know all, every minute and every second of the day. Our behavior has taught them to react in a shrilling tone, in a panicked voice. Until we are pinpointed, marked, labeled, or GPS’d until the question is answered:  “Where are you?”

By Michael Armijo

One day, my friend told me a story about a freshman in high school named David that touched me so deeply. This is what I call, Redemption:

David saw a kid named Ron walking home from school.  It looked like Ron was carrying home all of his books, which was strange because classes aren’t all on the same day. He thought to himself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.” But he shrugged his shoulders and went on.

As he was walking, David saw a bunch of kids running toward Ron, knocking his books out of his arms and tripping him. Ron’s glasses went flying and landed in the grass. When David handed the glasses to him, he looked up he saw this terrible sadness in Ron’s eyes. Somehow he felt his pain.

David said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”

Ron looked at him and lowly said, “Thanks.”

There was a slight smile on Ron’s face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.  David helped him pick up his books, and as it turned out, Ron lived near David.  They talked all the way home and Ron turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

Over the next four years, Ron and David became best friends. When they were seniors, they began to think about college. Ron decided on Georgetown, and David was going to Duke. They knew that they’d always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem.

Ron became valedictorian of their class, and had to prepare a speech for graduation. David was so glad that he didn’t have to get up there and speak.

On graduation day Ron looked great.  He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. All the girls loved him. David was just jealous. He could see that Ron was nervous about his speech, so David smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at David with one of those looks (that really grateful one) and smiled.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

“Graduation is a time to thank those who have helped you make it through those tough years; your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly, your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I’m going to tell you a story.”

David looked at his friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day they met. Ron talked of the day he had cleaned out his locker. He talked of how he was distraught about his life. He talked about how lonely he was. So lonely, he had planned to kill himself that weekend. But he didn’t, because his new friend unknowingly stepped in. He showed kindness. He showed compassion. He showed, by his actions, that life is worth the struggle. Ron looked hard at David and gave him a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved,” David continued. “My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

David heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told them about his weakest moment. He saw Ron’s mom and dad looking at him and smiling with that same grateful smile.  Not until that moment did David realize its depth.

It was then that David realized how important it is to never underestimate the power of one’s actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life – for the better, or for the worse.

The most compelling element about the story of Ron and David’s friendship is how it relates to so many lives. Personally, I’ve hoped that somewhere within my past that I’ve been a “David” to someone I’ve met. And what fills my spirit with even more emotion is that I know I’ve felt like a “Ron” many times.

What perplexes me is that I don’t know which role I’ve felt more often.

Someone once said, “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.”

To so many, each day, this is true. I’ve always valued my friends with depth and sincerity. I’ve always believed in the importance of being friends, and the importance of having friends.

As the story continues, it emphasizes that there is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. But today is a gift. This reminds me that giving the ultimate gift of friendship is what I call the inner spirit of your heart, and that gives us the true feeling of redemption.

By Sarah Sanchez
A valued member of our staff is leaving us to pursue other dreams. Sadly, it is our Editor-In-Chief, Kimberley, who is leaving us. We’ve had great people come and go, but when an employee leaves we usually just wish them good luck and find a replacement to fill the vacant position. But as I sat in the office and cried (yes, cried) when she informed us she was leaving, I realized that in 17 years I had never been brought to tears when an employee was leaving. But Kimberley isn’t a normal employee.

Kimberley is an amazing writer, with the super power of catching punctuation errors with the weapon of a red pen. She was overly remarkable at her job; in addition to all the other tasks she was given. Even if she was busy, she would always make time to proofread anything with writing on it. She also revamped our entire newspaper, folders, documents, and so much more.

But besides being an awesome employee, she is an even better person both inside and out. She has a heart of gold, a passion for baking, and weak spot for baby pictures (she won’t admit it so don’t bother asking). But the things I love most about her are her kindness and humility.  She let me borrow books, baked me brownies, made me dinner, and not once did she brag about how amazing she was (even though she was beyond amazing).

If that’s not enough, she asked us not to throw a going away party as she planned to go quietly. Since the human race is known for being prideful and selfish, I admired her for suggesting that. But yes, we did throw a party anyway, because she deserved one!

The things I will miss most about Kimberley are her wittiness, her brilliant writing, her humor, her great advice, her encouragement, her discipline as she passed up cake, her calling me her “favorite,” and her random Disney jokes that were always hilarious.

Yes, we will find another person to fill Kimberley’s Editor position, and they will probably be a great employee. But Kimberley, as both an employee and as a person, is the definition of irreplaceable. And you can’t replace the irreplaceable Editor-In-Chief!

Good luck, Kimberley! We love you and you will be deeply missed.