Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays?  This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true.  Believe it or not this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody.  I remember, as a little girl thinking how anybody could be sad this time of year.  Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us.  This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends.  This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away.  This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time.  It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year.  There are so very many places you could go and donate some time.  There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are.  You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself this year, life is just too short.  Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday.  My point is, this year learn to help yourself, and you will give you, the greatest gift you have ever received!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet.  You may purchase Nancy’s latest books Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Times are tough for so many right now.  I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money.  It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody you’ll give them this type of gift.  The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves much less somebody else.

Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season.  Maybe I’m wrong but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness and those things are free.  There are many ways to show love and kindness.  This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them.  I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for.  I don’t spend too much but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

Photo courtesy: Google Images

I always love spending time with my family and friends but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together.  We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together.  For us the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other.  We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well.  Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family.  We are all very sentimental so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent.  Just enjoy the holiday season!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

At the age of seventeen I started my travels around the world and spent three months in Europe.  My love for travel has taken me to six of the seven continents.  On December the 6^th I will leave for Antarctica my 7^th and final continent.  I’m really excited about being able to say finally I will have been around the world.  I’m also very thrilled to make some penguin friends. I will fly from Los Angeles into Argentina.  I will spend two night in Argentina and then board my ship to go to Antarctica. It will take us three days to get there through the very rough seas of the Drake Passage.  I will then have three days in Antarctica and then come back home through the Drake Passage and then back to Argentina and finally Los Angeles.

I must admit the five year old little girl that lives inside of me is so very excited about all of the wildlife we will see and about going on such a magnificent expedition.  I know that this is a once in a lifetime trip and I plan on enjoying every single second.  People are only allowed to go to Antarctica during the months of October through March.  It is dark the rest of the time.  December is actually the warmest month and the best time to go.  From everything I’ve read it looks like it will be in the thirties most days. I will have sunlight twenty-four hours a day.

There is so very much to buy and to do to prepare for travel to Antarctica but I have everything and I’m putting everything together to get ready to be packed up.  You must buy three layers of clothing and most of the companies give you a parka and loan you appropriate boots for hiking on Antarctica. Well soon I’m off and I will write about my adventure when I return.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I can’t believe the holidays are here already.  Thanksgiving is truly one of my favorite holidays.  I love the gathering of my special family and friends.  I think about having a whole lazy day with my favorite people and I get very happy.  We are all usually so rushed but on Thanksgiving we take our time together and that is a gift.

Having time to share with my loved ones is something I’m very grateful for.  Having loved ones to share the holiday with is also something that makes me feel grateful.  We sit together in my big house, with much more food than we could ever really eat and again, all I feel is gratitude.  I look around the table and everybody is really enjoying themselves and I think how grateful I am and how special my loved ones are.  I love when people have a really good time at my house.  It fills my heart with joy.

I have lost all of my siblings and my father but this year I will not mourn the losses, instead I will be grateful for their memory and for the people I have left, to help me celebrate.  I know I’m a very blessed woman and this year on Thanksgiving and every other day, I will be grateful. I will sit at the table and look into the faces of the people I love.  The room with be filled with wonderful smells and so much laughter our bellies will ache.  My heart will sing with joy as I have the honor of celebrating all my gratitude, with all of my favorite people.  I wish you the most wonderful Thanksgiving.  This year really pay attention to how blessed you are and just take some time to be grateful for everything!!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. Nancy has two books on Amazon Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

The holidays for many of us are joyful and fun but that isn’t the case for everybody or every family. I think especially with the way our economy is this holiday season may be hard for many families.  I wanted to let you all know that I run free support groups.  I run a group every Monday evening from 6-8 p.m. every week at the Walnut Gymnasium and Teen Center located at 21003 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089.  I also run a grieving group the first Friday of every month from 9-11a.m. at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200.  Both of these groups are subsidized by the city and in turn are free to you.  These groups have been in place for over fifteen years and have helped thousands over the years.  All you have to do to participate is show up.  My Monday evening group handles many court-mandated needs as well.

So whether you’re feeling depressed during the season or just plain overwhelmed come to a group and find some support. It can be very consoling to find out that you’re not the only one feeling the way you are during the season.  Just remember to not get so caught up in worrying about giving the perfect gift, or providing the perfect meal or worrying your house isn’t looking good enough to host a party.  Keep in mind that the season is just about sharing and spreading our love.  So focus on doing just that and don’t worry so much about not having a ton of money to spend on your loved ones.  We tell our children and loved ones to just to their best, well now I’m telling all of you the same.  Embrace the season and enjoy good times with your loved ones, all the while reminding yourself how very blessed you really are!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Our lives are truly about our mindset and how we view our lives.  I must ask you if you are living to die or are you dying to live.  These two ways for which people live sure do look and sound the same but they couldn’t be more different.  Take a look at the first one, living to die.  To me that means the person is merely existing and just going through the motions until they die.  I don’t believe there is much joy or quality of life with this style of life.  I believe a pretty unhappy and dissatisfied person lives according to the idea of living to die. Now on the other hand a person who is dying to live has a life of joy and quality.  I believe they are satisfied with their lives and appreciate each and every day they are honored with life.

So how do you live?  Which of these two mottos do you follow? It’s never too late to change.  It all starts by changing your mindset.  It starts by letting go of your past, forgiving yourself and others and on being grateful each and every day we are honored to be here.  As you begin the healing process your mindset will start to help you see all the good in everyday and you will start to feel empowered by the self- induced changes in you and the way you think.

I hope the change will start by reading this article.  I hope you believe you deserve a better life and use this as a road map to take you there.  I have faith in you that you can make the change and get the life you are worthy of!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Deciding to start therapy can be a very hard decision.  It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it on our own and that we need some help.  The truth is even though we take care of ourselves sometimes we need the help of a good doctor or an antibiotic and sometimes surgery.  I have always referred to myself as an emotional surgeon.  What I mean by this, is that I open you up and help you begin to deal with all of those dysfunctional feelings that are making you feel so bad and so stuck.  Starting therapy takes an incredible amount of courage and is a sign of strength not weakness.  Please never feel embarrassed that you feel have run out of options and that now you need some help to get through some things.

Over the years I have worked with people 2-91 years of age dealing parenting, drugs, anxiety, depression, autistic spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, appropriate sexual boundaries and so many other issues. Between my groups and my private practice I have literally helped thousands of people learn how to live a happy and balanced life.  I want my clients to be healthy mentally as well as physically and spiritually healthy.  I think all three of these go hand in hand to maintain permanent well-being.

A good place to start is by visiting one of my groups and seeing if you like my style before you start spending your hard earned money.  Keep in mind my co-therapist is a registered therapy dog named Midnight. If you are a dog lover you will have a great team on your side while you are doing some very necessary healing or just getting some tips on how to live more fully!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I work with many people suffering from depression.  It seems like their minds are filled with what is wrong with their lives and lots of self –pity.  Having lost most of my family I understand what feels like paralyzing sadness.  I’m referring to the kind of emotion that makes you feel like life is over and will never ever feel good again.  I’m here to tell you gratitude for all that we have and for all that we are really helps change our mindsets. Midnight and I were out the door this morning at 6:00 a.m. for our hour walk.  I must tell you my senses were delighted with the clean air, wonderful smelling scents from trees and flowers and the sweet lullabies from all of the birds.  As we walked I felt such gratitude running through my mind, body and spirit.  I thought about all the blessings I have.  I’m grateful for my health and for Midnight being ten years and still able to climb large hills and how lucky we are to have each other as best friends.  We certainly take a lot for granted.  We have our health, food, shelter, warm and cold running water, beds, cars, and many other necessities but we also have lots of toys and things that make life fun.  I see so many people taking all of that for granted.Take out a piece of paper and fold it in half.  On one side write down all that you are blessed with and on the other write down what you still desire.  Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting more or a better life, just don’t forget to appreciate what you already have or who you already are.  Keep this piece of paper and add to it daily when you find something else you are grateful for or desire.  Eventually you will replace the negative mindset with a positive mindset and a mindset filled with gratitude and joy.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops 

We sit in our homes and we turn on the news and all we hear about are all of the horrific events happening in our world.  Having had a brother murdered my heart goes out to the loved ones of the victim’s friends and families of the recent incident in Las Vegas.  Many people tell me they believe we are doomed.  I find myself unable to accept this and searching for the wonderful that I know still exists.  This past week, I was able to find some wonderful and want to share my experiences with you. To me, the most important detector of how our world is doing, is by the way I see others treat each other.  I live in a very special community.  I have the honor of helping parents become better parents, and of teaching family members the value of respect for each other.  This last week I facilitated groups that really touched my heart.  I worked with so many families that really love each other, but for one reason or another have learned to communicate in a angry and blaming manner.  As we started to work and get past the defenses, I began to see families loving and very capable of respecting each other.  It made me feel very hopeful for our future. Unfortunately our news is flooded with stories about the horrible ways we treat each other.  Practice being polite, respectful, loving, kind, and some of those other traits, the media seems to feel we no longer have. Now it’s your turn to find the wonderful.  I believe it starts within yourself, your family, our communities, and who knows, then our world.  You must trust me when I tell you it’s out there, for I am lucky enough to see it everyday. So as we begin to embrace the upcoming holiday season and everyday of our lives be on a quest for the magical and wonderful pieces that make our lives worth living!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)2290727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Can you believe fall is here and we are getting ready for Halloween?  One of my favorite things about this time of year is the Walnut Family Festival.  This year I will not only have a booth but Midnight the therapy dog and myself will be in the parade.  The date of the parade and festival is Saturday October 7th.  The festival is located at Suzanne Park and there are all kinds of wonderful things to do, buy, eat and it’s a great opportunity to just see some old friends. The parade starts at 9:30 am until eleven and the festival continues on until 5 pm.

I always run into people that I haven’t see for years.  I will have flyers regarding my free support groups and copies of my self-help book entitled Live Heal and Grow (A common sense guide to life) and my latest book, Midnight the Therapy Dog for sale.  I will be happy to sign each book purchased.  It’s a great opportunity to come on by and just chat about what’s going on in your life and get some support.  If you prefer the support of a furry friend Midnight the certified therapy dog will be at the booth part of the day as well.

The festival is lots of fun and has tons of free information for you and your family.  Over the years many of you have e-mailed me or called and left me messages about my column, I hope you’ll stop by my booth and introduce yourselves.  I’m always amazed about how many nice people I meet at this event.  It makes me feel proud to be part of such a wonderful community.  I love seeing all the families and all the dogs that come out to this event.  I hope you’ll come out and join the celebration!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Last year I facilitated and ran a very successful wellness event for the city of Walnut.  We had a hundred people attend this event.  Due to the success of this event I have been asked to do four wellness events for 2018.  I’m so honored and very excited and looking for healers of all sorts to part participate at these events.  If you do any type of natural healing and are interested in both speaking for thirty minutes and doing some sort of demonstration and getting paid or just having a free booth please contact me at (909)229-07267.  I’m looking for healers that specialize in reiki, massage, acupuncture, yoga, tai chi, doTerra oils and herbs and their medicinal uses, chiropractors, energy workers, chakra balance, reflexology or any other type of natural healing.  All of the wellness events will take place on Saturdays and are in 2018.  The dates are January 20, April14, July14, and finally September 23.

This is a great opportunity to get your new business started or to continue to make your already established business even more successful.  It’s also a great opportunity to share your expertize with an entire city and to have the honor of helping people feel better and have an increased quality of life by teaching wellness.  I’m looking for positive, peaceful and confident human beings to help at these glorious and much needed events.  My plan is to just keep doing these life changing events for many years to come.  So be proud of what you do and give me a call as I put our team together for these events.  I’m very excited about what is possible to have happen in our wonderful community.  We all deserve to have our minds, bodies and our spirits operating at their optimum and I think these events can offer many tools on how to make that happen for the people that live in our wonderful community.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Our children are one of the few things in our lives that don’t come with a manual and definitely can’t be returned.  Parenting is the most important job you will have in this world.  I work with many parents trying to teach them how to be balanced and more effective.  Balance is hard because parents don’t want to be too laid back yet don’t want to police their children either.

In college in my child development classes, I learned that children actually crave fair and consistent rules and boundaries within a loving and nurturing environment.  This sure sounds simple enough but takes an incredible amount of hard work.  An environment too strict or not strict enough can produce a child, teen, or young adult with many issues.  There must be room for compromise when you are parenting fair and effectively.  Consequences for behaviors that are not permissible or rude or defiant must be put in place every time those behaviors are shown. On the other hand rewards should be used consistently for behaviors that are positive.  Consistent consequences will help to extinguish negative behaviors, while consistent rewards will help to increase positive behaviors.  Also remember to team parent and to not negate each others parenting, as this tends to cause the young person to learn manipulation as a means to get what they want.

Many people trying to be good parents and working to build strong families need to work on how to listen.  We need to teach and model this skill to everybody in our family.  Don’t get caught up in the same conversation over and over and expect different results.  Take the time to teach everybody in your family effective communication skills.  Also insist that mutual respect must be shown to everybody in the family.  Once you allow your children or anybody to disrespect you are telling them that this is an okay way to behave. Remember you only get one chance to be great parents!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

For the past twenty years I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente road in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6-8p.m. every Monday unless it is a holiday.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089 and my contact number is 909 229-0727 should you have any questions.  You do not need to have any appointment to attend this group you are all free to drop by anytime.  This group satisfies many court mandated needs.

Even though this group meets at a teen center I invite people of all ages with all types of issues.  This group helps parents, students, and all people that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to just make our community be healthier and make its’ population be effective in their lives and create successful human beings.  We work on any array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework or need some more effective ways to communicate this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back and finding solutions could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking this group is a great place to get some coping skills to get clean.  We talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging it can be for somebody’s self-esteem.  Bring in an issue and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the issue head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjsttops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

It is frightening how many children are brought to me each for anxiety.  When did children start taking meds for anxiety? When I was growing up I didn’t even know what that word meant.  It was play that saved me from my hard days and that was how I worked through my emotions.  It was play that was a breeding ground for my imagination.  Whether I was creating underwater adventures in my wagon or putting on shows in my back yard it was play that I always looked forward to.  I’m not talking about video games but the kind of play that actually involves getting dirty.  Being the little tomboy I always had skinned knees and elbows from performing stunts on my bicycle or skateboard.

The best part of me is the little five year old that still lives within me and the truth is she still likes getting dirty and playing.  Turn off that television and take your child to the park to play or for a hike.  Tell everybody to put down those electronics and go ride horses together as a family, set up a camp in your back yard or anything else that involves play and imagination. Play relieves stress and keeps us very young in mind body and spirit.  Stop over scheduling your children and just let them have some time to play and just be children. Did you know that more than fifty percent of all the illnesses in this country are stress related?  Teaching your child that play is wonderful is a fabulous tool for prevention of such illnesses.

I know school just started and I say make this the most balanced year for your child.  Help them find time for their school work as well as time to play.  I promise if you can facilitate this you will see a much happier, more successful and relaxed student and child.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

I work with so many young people that have recently started school again.  They are all feeling a lot of stress due to the transition from summer to school.  The homework is coming at what seems to be a rapid pace. It’s important for these students to take one day at a time and to not overwhelm themselves.  Going back to school after summer break has been hard on every generation.  It’s important for these students to be well organized with a good notebook and a separate folder for each subject.  It’s a good idea for them to have a folder for work and papers that need to come home and another for what needs to be turned in or go back with them.  A place for pens and other necessary supplies is essential.

I find so many students really struggle with time management and are starting homework much too late in the evening after they have already been up for ten to twelve hours.  It’s ideal for a student to come home and have a good snack and start their homework about thirty minutes after they have arrived home.  I think if they can get their homework out of the way they might actually have part of an evening to relax and renew to prepare the right mindset for the next day.  It’s hard to a successful anything if one is running on fumes. Another important essential is a designated place to study.

Learning is really a lifelong event and it’s important to help somebody be an effective learner.  Being organized, not becoming over whelmed, learning effective time management and having an environment conducive to learning can make a huge difference.  As parents it is our job to help our children with these things so they can be successful lifetime learners!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

We tell ourselves that we are given what we can handle.  Sometimes it sure does feel like we are given way more then we can or should have to handle.  I laugh to myself and think my creator must think I’m superwoman and must think so much of me to give me such a load to overcome.  Well that’s the positive to think about all of it.  At the time when I’m going through all of it, there isn’t anything that feels complimentary about my pain.  I just know that I have to find solutions and work through it.  After all we are here to learn the lessons we are supposed to learn. I bet many of you reading this understand what I’m saying.  Just when I feel overwhelmed I am reminded of all that I have already overcome.  This helps remind me that I have learned what I need to do to overcome issues.  I have the tools and I bet you forgot you have them too.

I bet you have forgotten how very strong and tenacious you are.  I bet you have forgotten all that you have already overcome.  I bet you forgot to remind yourself that we are only given what we can handle.  So just for a moment close your eyes and feel the strength that lives within.  Now remind yourself about all that you have overcome and worked through.  In this moment let the self- pride shower over you.  Now let it go and let those tears run down your cheeks.  Do you feel the peace inside reminding yourself of just how awesome you are?  So now create a plan to chip away a little bit each day.  Also as each day comes to end learn to pat yourself on the back for who you are today and promise that with each tomorrow there will come a better YOU!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Have you ever had a moment that just feels totally perfect?  Do you ever go through chunks of time feeling so in sync with the world?  Isn’t it just wonderful when you feel that blissful momentum just carrying though.  These are the times I believe that things feel as good as they can possibly get.  This is the mode I strive to live my life in.  To me there is nothing quit as wonderful as feeling that just for a moment or a day that life is as good as it could possibly be. I think these are the times that we truly are so blessed to feel a little bit of heaven on earth.

It seems to me the more I live my life the way I’m intended to I’m honored with more and more of these “as good as it gets” moments.  For me they come at different times and during various activities.  I can be with a client in session and they finally see what they have been needing to see to heal and that is as good as it gets.  Just recently I took my ten year old grandson and my son to Knott’s Berry Farm and I watched my grandson light up as he experienced all the rides and our time together there.  To me, that’s as good as it gets.  My mother is still alive at ninety-two and hanging out with her, well that’s as good as it gets.  Every morning my dog Midnight and I go walking for miles and we start our day together out in nature and that is as good as it gets.  Every time I hear music or see something that ignites my spirit, I just know instinctually it’s a good as it gets.

I hope all of you get to experience this wonderful feeling.  It’s about striving to live the best life that seems to bring these perfect moments or chunks of time to us!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Nancy Stoops

It is on behalf of dogs everywhere that I write this article.  Being the proud owner of Midnight, the black lab/black shepherd mix shown with me in my photograph is truly a joy and honor.  Midnight is nine-years-old and very healthy.  Midnight and I take lots of long walks in our neighborhood and he has many buddies along the way.  Some of his buddies are very well cared for and live safe lives.  But some of his buddies aren’t so lucky and are let out to walk themselves.

I can’t believe how many wonderful dogs I have seen without tags and let out by themselves.  I can’t believe how many dogs end up hit by cars and die because they are illegally let out by themselves.  Legally dogs are supposed to be licensed, vaccinated and leashed when they are out off their property.  They should be walked by humans that can help guide them on what is safe and what is not when they are out of their house or yard.

A dog is a huge responsibility and an enormous joy.  Caring for a dog properly involves feeding them healthy food, cleaning them, vet visits, walks, licensing them, cleaning up after them, and always providing clean drinking water and shelter and lots of love, affection and attention.  It’s not okay to have a dog or any animal that is neglected.  There have been many new laws passed to help protect animals and people lose them everyday because of neglect.  So I ask you to think about all of this before you get an animal.  I beg you to stop allowing your dogs to walk themselves.  I ask you to understand how helpless they are and how much they count on us to care properly for them.  Please take the time to be a responsible and loving pet owner!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.

I have been a psychotherapist for seventeen years and have worked with people of all ages with various issues.  I’m constantly amazed when I have a child or teen brought to me for anxiety issues. We seem to have created a generation that feels very inadequate and struggles with growing up and being successful.  The issues this generation worries about are things my generation didn’t have to deal with.

Our colleges are impacted and hard to get into.  Now kindergarteners have homework and are expected to read and know many more things.  Video games and television are replacing playing outdoors in the fresh air and getting much needed exercise.  This outdoor playing is such a great way to reduce or eliminate stress.  Social media unfortunately has made this generation very lazy and childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise.

As parents and community leaders we have a social responsibility to help this generation find a healthy balance in their lives in every area.  We need to support and encourage our youth.  We need to provide the necessary tools to help them strive to become their best.  We need to have faith in our youth as some many of them are diamonds in the rough.  We need to give them guidance and tools to help them shine and reach their full potential.

We need to teach the teens that problems can we worked through and that drinking and drugs are not a solution.  We need to teach them how to meditate not medicate to quiet their busy minds.  We need to teach them how to relax by finding balance, getting organized, prioritizing and effectively managing their time and communicating what’s working and not working in their lives.  Please don’t assume they are all pot smoking video game playing lazy worthless human beings.  They are just scared and need some help finding their way!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.