Tag Archives: Nancy Stoops

Dreams Become Reality When You Believe In Yourself

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

We all have dreams for our life.  Why is it that some of us turn our dreams into reality and some of us just keep dreaming?  Why do some of us find the motivation to make our dreams come true and others just give up?  I believe we are all capable of getting what we want from our lives.  I also think we all have the potential to grow into somebody that we are proud of being.  I think what sets a person apart is they believe they can or they believe they can’t.

I find it very sad when I see somebody with a vision of what their life could be, yet they think they can’t ever obtain the life they are suppose to have.  This person somehow has never been taught to believe in themselves and now gets cheated out of the life they should have had.  This is where really effective parenting is so very essential.  We also need to help those not so effectively parented reach for the sky as well.  We need to not give up on our dreams, ourselves and each other.

Dreams can become our wonderful reality if we create a plan with the correct steps.  Think about every other goal that you have met and the plan that was made up of baby steps.  I promise you that if you have a dream and want it to become your reality all you have to do is trust yourself and take the steps that turn dreams into reality.  The first step is having the faith and trust inside yourself to believe that you can do it.  Never lose sight of the already wonderful you and think of your plan as just adding to that wonderful person!!!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

An Invitation for Wellness in 2018

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

As we celebrate a brand New Year it’s also time to celebrate ourselves.  I would like to extend an invitation to all of you to my Taste of Wellness 2018 event sponsored by the city of Walnut and facilitated by me.  This wonderful and free event will take place Saturday January 20, 2018 at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in the city of Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200 and all you have to do is call to reserve your spot today.  This event will offer talks and worksheets on mindfulness and pain management, meditation, nutrition and how to eat to function at an optimum level, Reiki, proper stretching techniques and free chair massages, yoga, a free tea and snack bar and door prizes.

Last year we had over one hundred people attend our first wellness event and I would love to top those numbers this year.  I can’t think of a better way to start off the New Year then by attending an even that will teach you so many wonderful ways to embrace wellness into 2018!  I personally will be running two of the four workshops offered and would love for all of you readers to come out to this amazing opportunity to enhance you wellbeing.  This will be the first of a series of three workshops that I will have the honor of facilitating for the city of Walnut.  I’m very excited to share all the facets of my very healthy lifestyle that has served me so very well for my life.  I will be discussing so many common sense ways to help yourself and just feel better so you can all improve the very quality of your life.  I look forward to seeing all of you there and sharing all of the secrets that have provided me and my patients with a life of quality and joy!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

2018 The Magic Year

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Happy New Year to all of you wonderful beings. Yes it’s a new beginning for us all.   It’s a chance to start fresh and finally become who you are meant to be. The New Year brings unlimited possibilities and new energy that helps us believe, the sky is the limit.  The New Year gives us hope and many new chances.  I say take these chances and make this year, the best one ever!

Start this process by setting some small very obtainable daily goals.  Once you’re in the groove and have met the daily goals, now it’s time to set a realistic goal for the year.  You may or may not ever meet the year end goal but it’s all about the steps or the process that we take in our attempt that cause us to change.  That’s what I want you all to focus this year.  So what if you never get there all the way, you’re certainly moving in the right direction. Be proud of what you are able to do in 2017 and don’t beat yourself up for what you couldn’t do.

I hope you will be good to yourselves this year and finally work toward who you are meant to be.  I want you to remember it’s all here for you and all you have to do is believe in yourself and go and get what you deserve.  So I dedicate this to all of you in hopes that this will be a magical year. I wish for all of you that you will get out there and find all the greatness that exists in you and our very wonderful world.  It all starts by believing in you and I believe in all of you and want you to be the very best you can be.  Make 2018 a magical year, the best year of your life!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

No More Failed New Year Resolutions

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

It’s that time of year where we all start setting some new resolutions for 2017. As we do this, we also wonder why we didn’t meet our 2016 resolutions.  Usually the reason we don’t accomplish resolutions or goals in general is because we make them unrealistic.  We also don’t give ourselves credit for accomplishing part of the goal. For example let’s say you wanted to lose thirty pounds this year and you lost fifteen pounds. I say that you were successful because you did part of what you set out to do. I say if we move in the right direction of our goals them we are successful. I also believe that if we are able to incorporate this mindset then we will eventually meet the entire goal. On the other hand if you feel you have failed chances are you‘ll probably put the fifteen pounds back on that you originally lost and then really beat yourself up.

Be smarter this year and set more realistic goals. Also remember that all good things take time. More importantly meeting a goal is usually about changing a habit. It can take awhile some times to successfully change a habit. Think of your goals as more of lifestyle changes.  If your goal is to lose weight or to get in better shape think about how long you have had your bad habits and that you are trying to make permanent changes in your lifestyle. Don’t be so hard on yourself this year and learn to be happy with the baby steps that you accomplish toward the big goal that you have in mind. Also learn to reward yourself as you accomplish each baby step.  Make this New Year the year you stop self sabotaging and finally meet those life changing goals. I believe in all you and know that you can be and have what you deserve if you just follow my plan. Happy New Year!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Embracing the Season

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Lights are being hung everywhere.  People have a twinkle of joy in their eyes.  The air is crisp and clean and I feel filled with excitement, as I prepare to celebrate the holidays with my loved ones.

Ever since I was a very little girl I have really enjoyed this time of year.  I love the idea of celebrating life and for me; this season gives me one more reason to do just that.  I enjoy shopping for gifts and taking some long lunches along the way with the people I love.  I enjoy the special flavored coffees this time of year.  I love seeing the stores all decorated and people just seem to be a little kinder to each other as well.

I walked out of my house this morning and thought about how lucky I am to have such wonderful people to celebrate with.  I look forward to the dinners, the gift giving, going away on an adventure but mostly just being with all the people I love.  I will have an opportunity to take some time off and to really embrace the season.  I love baking cookies with my son, shopping with my loved ones, having lots of time with my best friend, going out to breakfast with my husband, spending quality time with mom and just having time to laugh together with all the people I love.

For me, the season is a wonderful opportunity to show how much I love the people that mean the most to me in this world.  I hope you will do the same.  I wish you peace and joy as you celebrate this wonderful time.  I hope you will embrace the season and your loved ones and remember what this time of year is really about.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s latest book Midnight the Therapy Dog is the perfect gift and is available at Amazon.com.

Depression and the Holidays

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays?  This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true.  Believe it or not this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody.  I remember, as a little girl thinking how anybody could be sad this time of year.  Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us.  This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends.  This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away.  This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time.  It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year.  There are so very many places you could go and donate some time.  There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are.  You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself this year, life is just too short.  Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday.  My point is, this year learn to help yourself, and you will give you, the greatest gift you have ever received!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet.  You may purchase Nancy’s latest books Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

A Gift from the Heart is Priceless

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Times are tough for so many right now.  I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money.  It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody you’ll give them this type of gift.  The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves much less somebody else.

Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season.  Maybe I’m wrong but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness and those things are free.  There are many ways to show love and kindness.  This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them.  I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for.  I don’t spend too much but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

Photo courtesy: Google Images

I always love spending time with my family and friends but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together.  We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together.  For us the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other.  We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well.  Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family.  We are all very sentimental so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent.  Just enjoy the holiday season!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Off to Antarctica My Final Continent

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

At the age of seventeen I started my travels around the world and spent three months in Europe.  My love for travel has taken me to six of the seven continents.  On December the 6th I will leave for Antarctica my 7th and final continent.  I’m really excited about being able to say finally I will have been around the world.  I’m also very thrilled to make some penguin friends. I will fly from Los Angeles into Argentina.  I will spend two night in Argentina and then board my ship to go to Antarctica. It will take us three days to get there through the very rough seas of the Drake Passage.  I will then have three days in Antarctica and then come back home through the Drake Passage and then back to Argentina and finally Los Angeles.

I must admit the five year old little girl that lives inside of me is so very excited about all of the wildlife we will see and about going on such a magnificent expedition.  I know that this is a once in a lifetime trip and I plan on enjoying every single second.  People are only allowed to go to Antarctica during the months of October through March.  It is dark the rest of the time.  December is actually the warmest month and the best time to go.  From everything I’ve read it looks like it will be in the thirties most days. I will have sunlight twenty-four hours a day.

There is so very much to buy and to do to prepare for travel to Antarctica but I have everything and I’m putting everything together to get ready to be packed up.  You must buy three layers of clothing and most of the companies give you a parka and loan you appropriate boots for hiking on Antarctica. Well soon I’m off and I will write about my adventure when I return.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Thoughts on Gratitude

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I can’t believe the holidays are here already.  Thanksgiving is truly one of my favorite holidays.  I love the gathering of my special family and friends.  I think about having a whole lazy day with my favorite people and I get very happy.  We are all usually so rushed but on Thanksgiving we take our time together and that is a gift.

Having time to share with my loved ones is something I’m very grateful for.  Having loved ones to share the holiday with is also something that makes me feel grateful.  We sit together in my big house, with much more food than we could ever really eat and again, all I feel is gratitude.  I look around the table and everybody is really enjoying themselves and I think how grateful I am and how special my loved ones are.  I love when people have a really good time at my house.  It fills my heart with joy.

I have lost all of my siblings and my father but this year I will not mourn the losses, instead I will be grateful for their memory and for the people I have left, to help me celebrate.  I know I’m a very blessed woman and this year on Thanksgiving and every other day, I will be grateful. I will sit at the table and look into the faces of the people I love.  The room with be filled with wonderful smells and so much laughter our bellies will ache.  My heart will sing with joy as I have the honor of celebrating all my gratitude, with all of my favorite people.  I wish you the most wonderful Thanksgiving.  This year really pay attention to how blessed you are and just take some time to be grateful for everything!!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. Nancy has two books on Amazon Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog.

Finding Support During The Holidays

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

The holidays for many of us are joyful and fun but that isn’t the case for everybody or every family. I think especially with the way our economy is this holiday season may be hard for many families.  I wanted to let you all know that I run free support groups.  I run a group every Monday evening from 6-8 p.m. every week at the Walnut Gymnasium and Teen Center located at 21003 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089.  I also run a grieving group the first Friday of every month from 9-11a.m. at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200.  Both of these groups are subsidized by the city and in turn are free to you.  These groups have been in place for over fifteen years and have helped thousands over the years.  All you have to do to participate is show up.  My Monday evening group handles many court-mandated needs as well.

So whether you’re feeling depressed during the season or just plain overwhelmed come to a group and find some support. It can be very consoling to find out that you’re not the only one feeling the way you are during the season.  Just remember to not get so caught up in worrying about giving the perfect gift, or providing the perfect meal or worrying your house isn’t looking good enough to host a party.  Keep in mind that the season is just about sharing and spreading our love.  So focus on doing just that and don’t worry so much about not having a ton of money to spend on your loved ones.  We tell our children and loved ones to just to their best, well now I’m telling all of you the same.  Embrace the season and enjoy good times with your loved ones, all the while reminding yourself how very blessed you really are!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Are You Living to Die or Dying To Live?

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Our lives are truly about our mindset and how we view our lives.  I must ask you if you are living to die or are you dying to live.  These two ways for which people live sure do look and sound the same but they couldn’t be more different.  Take a look at the first one, living to die.  To me that means the person is merely existing and just going through the motions until they die.  I don’t believe there is much joy or quality of life with this style of life.  I believe a pretty unhappy and dissatisfied person lives according to the idea of living to die. Now on the other hand a person who is dying to live has a life of joy and quality.  I believe they are satisfied with their lives and appreciate each and every day they are honored with life.

So how do you live?  Which of these two mottos do you follow? It’s never too late to change.  It all starts by changing your mindset.  It starts by letting go of your past, forgiving yourself and others and on being grateful each and every day we are honored to be here.  As you begin the healing process your mindset will start to help you see all the good in everyday and you will start to feel empowered by the self- induced changes in you and the way you think.

I hope the change will start by reading this article.  I hope you believe you deserve a better life and use this as a road map to take you there.  I have faith in you that you can make the change and get the life you are worthy of!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Deciding to Start Therapy

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Deciding to start therapy can be a very hard decision.  It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it on our own and that we need some help.  The truth is even though we take care of ourselves sometimes we need the help of a good doctor or an antibiotic and sometimes surgery.  I have always referred to myself as an emotional surgeon.  What I mean by this, is that I open you up and help you begin to deal with all of those dysfunctional feelings that are making you feel so bad and so stuck.  Starting therapy takes an incredible amount of courage and is a sign of strength not weakness.  Please never feel embarrassed that you feel have run out of options and that now you need some help to get through some things.

Over the years I have worked with people 2-91 years of age dealing parenting, drugs, anxiety, depression, autistic spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, appropriate sexual boundaries and so many other issues. Between my groups and my private practice I have literally helped thousands of people learn how to live a happy and balanced life.  I want my clients to be healthy mentally as well as physically and spiritually healthy.  I think all three of these go hand in hand to maintain permanent well-being.

A good place to start is by visiting one of my groups and seeing if you like my style before you start spending your hard earned money.  Keep in mind my co-therapist is a registered therapy dog named Midnight. If you are a dog lover you will have a great team on your side while you are doing some very necessary healing or just getting some tips on how to live more fully!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Be Grateful if You Know How to Love Well

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Believe it or not, not everybody is raised with knowing how to love well.  My patients sometimes wish they had a different kind of heart that wouldn’t cause them so much pain.  I always tell them how lucky they are to have the capacity to love with such depth and compassion.  They tell me that their hearts can cause them so much pain.  I tell them how lucky they are to have loved so fully and yes that such deep loving can cause us pain.  Pain can be caused when we love that fully and we lose people to death, divorce or anything that causes that person to leave us.  I always remind them how lucky they were to have experienced that kind of love even for one second.  I remind them not everybody gets that. The trick is to be grateful for every second you have with the people you love and create lots of memories.  Those wonderful memories will be with you even when the person or people are no longer here with you.  Please don’t close your heart off because you have been hurt because you have experienced some type of loss.  Keep your heart opened because you never know what you might find.  Don’t put up barriers and become cold and distant instead smile and feel the warmth of those memories.  Also be grateful for all that you have left.  This idea is also very important in successful grieving. Now close your eyes and find the best memory of a loved one that is gone.  Don’t you find it impossible not to smile and maybe even cry some happy tears?  In order to keep experiencing this keep you heart opened to love and to all that is wonderful about this amazing thing we call life!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at 909 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net  You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Fighting Depression with Gratitude

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I work with many people suffering from depression.  It seems like their minds are filled with what is wrong with their lives and lots of self –pity.  Having lost most of my family I understand what feels like paralyzing sadness.  I’m referring to the kind of emotion that makes you feel like life is over and will never ever feel good again.  I’m here to tell you gratitude for all that we have and for all that we are really helps change our mindsets. Midnight and I were out the door this morning at 6:00 a.m. for our hour walk.  I must tell you my senses were delighted with the clean air, wonderful smelling scents from trees and flowers and the sweet lullabies from all of the birds.  As we walked I felt such gratitude running through my mind, body and spirit.  I thought about all the blessings I have.  I’m grateful for my health and for Midnight being ten years and still able to climb large hills and how lucky we are to have each other as best friends.  We certainly take a lot for granted.  We have our health, food, shelter, warm and cold running water, beds, cars, and many other necessities but we also have lots of toys and things that make life fun.  I see so many people taking all of that for granted.Take out a piece of paper and fold it in half.  On one side write down all that you are blessed with and on the other write down what you still desire.  Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting more or a better life, just don’t forget to appreciate what you already have or who you already are.  Keep this piece of paper and add to it daily when you find something else you are grateful for or desire.  Eventually you will replace the negative mindset with a positive mindset and a mindset filled with gratitude and joy.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Finding Some Wonderful In Our World

By Nancy Stoops 

We sit in our homes and we turn on the news and all we hear about are all of the horrific events happening in our world.  Having had a brother murdered my heart goes out to the loved ones of the victim’s friends and families of the recent incident in Las Vegas.  Many people tell me they believe we are doomed.  I find myself unable to accept this and searching for the wonderful that I know still exists.  This past week, I was able to find some wonderful and want to share my experiences with you. To me, the most important detector of how our world is doing, is by the way I see others treat each other.  I live in a very special community.  I have the honor of helping parents become better parents, and of teaching family members the value of respect for each other.  This last week I facilitated groups that really touched my heart.  I worked with so many families that really love each other, but for one reason or another have learned to communicate in a angry and blaming manner.  As we started to work and get past the defenses, I began to see families loving and very capable of respecting each other.  It made me feel very hopeful for our future. Unfortunately our news is flooded with stories about the horrible ways we treat each other.  Practice being polite, respectful, loving, kind, and some of those other traits, the media seems to feel we no longer have. Now it’s your turn to find the wonderful.  I believe it starts within yourself, your family, our communities, and who knows, then our world.  You must trust me when I tell you it’s out there, for I am lucky enough to see it everyday. So as we begin to embrace the upcoming holiday season and everyday of our lives be on a quest for the magical and wonderful pieces that make our lives worth living!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)2290727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

 

Visit My Booth at the Walnut Family Festival

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Can you believe fall is here and we are getting ready for Halloween?  One of my favorite things about this time of year is the Walnut Family Festival.  This year I will not only have a booth but Midnight the therapy dog and myself will be in the parade.  The date of the parade and festival is Saturday October 7th.  The festival is located at Suzanne Park and there are all kinds of wonderful things to do, buy, eat and it’s a great opportunity to just see some old friends. The parade starts at 9:30 am until eleven and the festival continues on until 5 pm.

I always run into people that I haven’t see for years.  I will have flyers regarding my free support groups and copies of my self-help book entitled Live Heal and Grow (A common sense guide to life) and my latest book, Midnight the Therapy Dog for sale.  I will be happy to sign each book purchased.  It’s a great opportunity to come on by and just chat about what’s going on in your life and get some support.  If you prefer the support of a furry friend Midnight the certified therapy dog will be at the booth part of the day as well.

The festival is lots of fun and has tons of free information for you and your family.  Over the years many of you have e-mailed me or called and left me messages about my column, I hope you’ll stop by my booth and introduce yourselves.  I’m always amazed about how many nice people I meet at this event.  It makes me feel proud to be part of such a wonderful community.  I love seeing all the families and all the dogs that come out to this event.  I hope you’ll come out and join the celebration!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

An Invitation for All Natural Healers

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Last year I facilitated and ran a very successful wellness event for the city of Walnut.  We had a hundred people attend this event.  Due to the success of this event I have been asked to do four wellness events for 2018.  I’m so honored and very excited and looking for healers of all sorts to part participate at these events.  If you do any type of natural healing and are interested in both speaking for thirty minutes and doing some sort of demonstration and getting paid or just having a free booth please contact me at (909)229-07267.  I’m looking for healers that specialize in reiki, massage, acupuncture, yoga, tai chi, doTerra oils and herbs and their medicinal uses, chiropractors, energy workers, chakra balance, reflexology or any other type of natural healing.  All of the wellness events will take place on Saturdays and are in 2018.  The dates are January 20, April14, July14, and finally September 23.

This is a great opportunity to get your new business started or to continue to make your already established business even more successful.  It’s also a great opportunity to share your expertize with an entire city and to have the honor of helping people feel better and have an increased quality of life by teaching wellness.  I’m looking for positive, peaceful and confident human beings to help at these glorious and much needed events.  My plan is to just keep doing these life changing events for many years to come.  So be proud of what you do and give me a call as I put our team together for these events.  I’m very excited about what is possible to have happen in our wonderful community.  We all deserve to have our minds, bodies and our spirits operating at their optimum and I think these events can offer many tools on how to make that happen for the people that live in our wonderful community.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com

Balanced Parenting

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

 

Our children are one of the few things in our lives that don’t come with a manual and definitely can’t be returned.  Parenting is the most important job you will have in this world.  I work with many parents trying to teach them how to be balanced and more effective.  Balance is hard because parents don’t want to be too laid back yet don’t want to police their children either.

In college in my child development classes, I learned that children actually crave fair and consistent rules and boundaries within a loving and nurturing environment.  This sure sounds simple enough but takes an incredible amount of hard work.  An environment too strict or not strict enough can produce a child, teen, or young adult with many issues.  There must be room for compromise when you are parenting fair and effectively.  Consequences for behaviors that are not permissible or rude or defiant must be put in place every time those behaviors are shown. On the other hand rewards should be used consistently for behaviors that are positive.  Consistent consequences will help to extinguish negative behaviors, while consistent rewards will help to increase positive behaviors.  Also remember to team parent and to not negate each others parenting, as this tends to cause the young person to learn manipulation as a means to get what they want.

Many people trying to be good parents and working to build strong families need to work on how to listen.  We need to teach and model this skill to everybody in our family.  Don’t get caught up in the same conversation over and over and expect different results.  Take the time to teach everybody in your family effective communication skills.  Also insist that mutual respect must be shown to everybody in the family.  Once you allow your children or anybody to disrespect you are telling them that this is an okay way to behave. Remember you only get one chance to be great parents!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Free Counseling is Available

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

For the past twenty years I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente road in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6-8p.m. every Monday unless it is a holiday.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089 and my contact number is 909 229-0727 should you have any questions.  You do not need to have any appointment to attend this group you are all free to drop by anytime.  This group satisfies many court mandated needs.

Even though this group meets at a teen center I invite people of all ages with all types of issues.  This group helps parents, students, and all people that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to just make our community be healthier and make its’ population be effective in their lives and create successful human beings.  We work on any array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in an unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework or need some more effective ways to communicate this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back and finding solutions could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking this group is a great place to get some coping skills to get clean.  We talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging it can be for somebody’s self-esteem.  Bring in an issue and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the issue head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjsttops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

 

What Ever Happened To Play?

By Nancy Stoops

It is frightening how many children are brought to me each for anxiety.  When did children start taking meds for anxiety? When I was growing up I didn’t even know what that word meant.  It was play that saved me from my hard days and that was how I worked through my emotions.  It was play that was a breeding ground for my imagination.  Whether I was creating underwater adventures in my wagon or putting on shows in my back yard it was play that I always looked forward to.  I’m not talking about video games but the kind of play that actually involves getting dirty.  Being the little tomboy I always had skinned knees and elbows from performing stunts on my bicycle or skateboard.

The best part of me is the little five year old that still lives within me and the truth is she still likes getting dirty and playing.  Turn off that television and take your child to the park to play or for a hike.  Tell everybody to put down those electronics and go ride horses together as a family, set up a camp in your back yard or anything else that involves play and imagination. Play relieves stress and keeps us very young in mind body and spirit.  Stop over scheduling your children and just let them have some time to play and just be children. Did you know that more than fifty percent of all the illnesses in this country are stress related?  Teaching your child that play is wonderful is a fabulous tool for prevention of such illnesses.

I know school just started and I say make this the most balanced year for your child.  Help them find time for their school work as well as time to play.  I promise if you can facilitate this you will see a much happier, more successful and relaxed student and child.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.