Tag Archives: Nancy Stoops

Embrace Wellness in 2017 with a FREE Wellness Workshop

By City of Walnut 

Walnut – The City of Walnut invites you to join us for a Taste of Wellness in the new year with free demonstrations, chair massages, meet and greet with registered therapy dogs and a hot tea bar.

The Free Wellness workshop with Nancy Stoops, M.A M.F.T. and special guest will take place on Saturday, January 28 from 8:00 am to 12:00 noon at the Walnut Senior Center, 21215 La Puente Road., Walnut.

Presented Topics Include:

The 3 Mindful Meditations with Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

The Benefits of Massage presented by Austrian Healer Michael Meier

Stress Management presented by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T.

Yoga with Anne Castagnaro, Ph.D., RYT500

Featured Vendors:

doTERRA Oils by Mindy Martindale Purple Lotus Medical Massage and Wellness
Open Door, Yoga & Meditation in Downtown Pomona

Inland Empire Pet Partners, Katherine Gigandet & Rock-It-Man

Facilitator Nancy Stoops is a licensed marriage and family therapist with over 20 years in the practice, a published author and a columnist. Nancy has provided support to thousands of people in need and conducts every session and support group with Midnight, a registered therapy dog. As a traveler, Nancy has had the opportunity to work with healers throughout the world. She believes that with change comes opportunity.

Join us and give yourself the opportunity to find your inner Zen and discover a different light of wellness. Sign-up today by calling the Walnut Senior Center at 909-598-6200 or simply join us the day of the workshop.

 

2017 The Magic Year

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Happy New Year to all of you wonderful beings. Yes it’s a new beginning for us all.   It’s a chance to start fresh and finally become who you are meant to be. The New Year brings unlimited possibilities and new energy that helps us believe, the sky is the limit.  The New Year gives us hope and many new chances.  I say take these chances and make this year, the best one ever!

Start this process by setting some small very obtainable daily goals.  Once you’re in the groove and have met the daily goals, now it’s time to set a realistic goal for the year.  You may or may not ever meet the year end goal but it’s all about the steps or the process that we take in our attempt that cause us to change.  That’s what I want you all to focus this year.  So what if you never get there all the way, you’re certainly moving in the right direction. Be proud of what you are able to do in 2016 and don’t beat yourself up for what you couldn’t do.

I hope you will be good to yourselves this year and finally work toward who you are meant to be.  I want you to remember it’s all here for you and all you have to do is believe in yourself and go and get what you deserve.  So I dedicate this to all of you in hopes that this will be a magical year. I wish for all of you that you will get out there and find all the greatness that exists in you and our very wonderful world.  It all starts by believing in you and I believe in all of you and want you to be the very best you can be.  Make 2017 a magical year, the best year of your life!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

What is the Real Christmas Magic?

By Nancy Stoops

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Every time I see the look on my grandson’s face when he sees all the lights,  I feel the Christmas magic.  I feel the hope that the lights seem to bring.  That is the real Christmas magic.  Every time I wish somebody happy holidays and they light up and smile I feel the Christmas magic. We seem to be able to bring others joy a little easier this time of year.  I think this is the real Christmas magic. Every time I see somebody opening a door or displaying an act of kindness which seem to happen more this time of year I feel the real Christmas magic.

I love this time of year because people in general seem to just be kinder towards each other.  To me the definition of real Christmas magic is the love we feel this time of year towards each other.  We become the people we were destined to be when we had the honor of being put in this world. For me this is the real Christmas magic.  It’s never been about all the chasing around to find the perfect gift because in feeling and sharing the love we have the ultimate perfect gift.

I watch all the Christmas movies and the ones that really speak to me are showing the true meaning of the holidays, sharing the love.  They are about helping the less fortunate and about slowing down to spend quality time with family and friends. Take a moment and feel the Christmas magic through your entire body and soul and embrace the sense of gratitude it makes us feel. My wish for you is that you embrace the real magic of the holidays and you give yourself the gift of being who you are indented to be!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

A Gift from the Heart is Priceless

By Nancy Stoops

Times are tough for so many right now.  I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money.  It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody you’ll give them this type of gift.  The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves much less somebody else.

Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season.  Maybe I’m wrong but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness and those things are free.  There are many ways to show love and kindness.  This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them.  I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for.  I don’t spend too much but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

I always love spending time with my family and friends but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together.  We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together.  For us the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other.  We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well.  Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family.  We are all very sentimental so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent.  Just enjoy the holiday season!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Give Yourself the Gift of Giving

By Nancy Stoops

This is truly a magnificent time of year.  I love the holiday spirit and all the houses shining ever so brightly.  There’s a crispness in the air, yet the sun is sparkling ever so brilliantly.  It’s definitely time to celebrate how blessed we all are, yet so many with be going without this year.

Why not include something that you and your family could to for the less fortunate this year as part of your holiday?  There are many children without families and many families struggling and a little generosity from you could make such a huge difference.  It really feels great to help a child celebrate with a donated gift.  You could help feed a family that much needed Christmas dinner this year.  You have the chance to give a little and make such a huge difference for another human being.

This year when you’re out there buying more than anybody really needs, pick up an extra toy or two and donate them.  Take the time to find an organization that needs some donations and just decide to help somebody have a holiday, that couldn’t have one without your help.  It feels so wonderful to share in the pure delight of giving something and expecting nothing back in return.  Isn’t this the true spirit of the holidays?  I think many of us have forgotten because the media wants to convince us otherwise.

The truth is you’ll still be loved if you don’t give somebody a diamond or a luxury automobile. A diamond or a car won’t change our world but each of us still has the power to change our world for the better.  We can start by giving to the less fortunate and together we can get back the true meaning of the season……….giving!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet. 

 

 

 

Giving Back This Holiday Season

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

This holiday season Midnight and I with continue our volunteer work at the infusion center at St. Jude Hospital in Fullerton.  I think it’s very timely because to me the holidays are partly about giving back.  We take a lot for granted and working with cancer patients makes you really appreciate life.  So this year if you’re feeling grateful or maybe even sorry for yourself and not so grateful, do something wonderful for a good cause.  Do something wonderful for somebody else.

I think the holidays are about getting together with family and friends but also about giving something back.  You can make a huge difference in somebody’s life by being unselfish and volunteering, donating or whatever your thing is.  The holidays are a special time to show this world how very much you care.  Stop complaining about the state of our world and get out there and do an act of kindness.  I promise you, it will feel fabulous and you’ll stop feeling sorry for yourself and actually feel good this holiday season.

Take that money that you’re planning to spend on drugs or alcohol and give yourself a different kind of medicine.  Give yourself some medicine that is good for the soul.  The kind of medicine that comes from helping others and understanding that’s what we are suppose to be doing here.  What I speak of can be very healing and maybe you’ll begin to forgive yourself for all you’ve done wrong and start moving in the right direction.  Ending the year helping others can be a great way to motivate yourself to make 2016 a better & more productive year.  It’s never too late to become a better person and somebody that you can be proud of.  This year, give the gift of giving back!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (9090229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.  Please feel free to visit Nancy’s website at http://www.nancystoopsmft.com. for lots of tips and advice for living fully, healing and growing into who you are intended to be.

 

Depression and the Holidays

By Nancy Stoops  

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays?  This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true.  Believe it or not this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody.  I remember, as a little girl thinking how anybody could be sad this time of year.  Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us.  This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends.  This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away.  This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time.  It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year.  There are so very many places you could go and donate some time.  There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are.  You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself this year, life is just too short.  Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday.  My point is, this year learn to help yourself, and you will give you, the greatest gift you have ever received!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet.  You may purchase Nancy’s latest books Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Free Counseling is Available

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

For the past eighteen years I have had the honor of facilitating a free counseling group every Monday evening.  Our group meets at the Walnut Teen Center and Gymnasium located at 21003 La Puente road in the city of Walnut.  We meet year round from 6-8p.m. every Monday unless it is a holiday.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089 and my contact number is 909 229-0727 should you have any questions.  You do not need to have any appointment to attend this group you are all free to drop by anytime.  This group satisfies many court mandated needs.

Even though this group meets at a teen center I invite people of all ages with all types of issues.  This group helps parents, students, and all people that are just struggling in their lives.  My goal is to just make our community be healthier and make its’ population be effective in their lives and create successful human beings.  We work on any array of issues that many people present day are dealing with. There is no reason for anybody to be stuck in a unhealthy place.

If you are tired of the fight between you and your child regarding homework or need some more effective ways to communicate this is the group for you.  Maybe depression or anxiety seems to be holding you or a loved one back and finding solutions could be life changing.  If you or somebody you know is struggling with drugs or drinking this group is a great place to get some coping skills to get clean.  We talk about ways to deal with bullies and how damaging it can be for somebody’s self-esteem.  Bring in an issue and I promise you will feel hopeful and have new tools to help you confront the issue head on.  Don’t let embarrassment stop you or a loved one from getting the help you need to reclaim the wonderful life you are so deserving of.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjsttops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Traveling the World

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Ever since I was a very small girl I always knew that I wanted to travel around the entire world.  It really all began when I was seventeen I graduated high school a semester early and spent three months in Europe.  At that point I became addicted to wanting to see the entire world.  Now I have just two more continents to go.  The plan is to see Australia this year and then as I turn sixty go to Antarctica.  I know I will always continue to travel even though I will have literally made it around the world very soon.

There are many ways to learn and I have experienced most of them.  Travel is a very unique way to learn because you literally become part of what you are learning.  There is no better to understand a country or its’ culture than to become immersed in it.  I have gotten to know people from so many different cultures and have received blessings from a holy person within each of these cultures.  I have also been part of many wonderful ceremonies and traditions, one of which involved dancing with goats in a Peruvian village.  I will never forgot my African chief my Thailand monk, all my shamans and all the other wonder spiritual beings that I spent time with being blessed.  I has been my honor!

I also make sure that with each journey comes with a close up wild life experience.  I have walked, fed and swam with 4500lb tigers.  I have trained elephants, swam with sea lions, sharks, and mantas.  I have had the head of a cheetah in my lap for a petting session.  This year I want to hold a koala and feed kangaroos.  I love my life and travelling really enriches it.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net.  You may purchase “Live Heal and Grow” and “Midnight the Therapy Dog”, Nancy’s books at Amazon.com.

 

Midnight the Therapy Dog

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Midnight’s amazing story is now available at amazon.com.  My new book Midnight the Therapy Dog will make you laugh and cry and delight your soul.  The book is a beautifully illustrated story about how Midnight loses his family and himself for a while.  My friend April Cruz, a brilliant artist did the illustrations for this book.  Midnight never gave up and one day he was rescued by me.  At the age of two years old Midnight tested with me and we because a registered pet therapy team.  Midnight is now seven years old and has literally made thousands of people feel better.

Besides working in my practice Midnight also goes to St. Jude’s Hospital and the cancer center in Fullerton.  He even has his own I.D. badge with this picture.  Midnight also helps me at both of my support groups.  His story will inspire you to help animals in need and to never give up.  With the holidays so near this book would make a great present for anybody.  Please go to Amazon and look at this beautiful book.

This book talks about being a broken spirit and with love and care growing into a being that now helps others.  I am so very proud of Midnight and honored to be able to work with him.  This book is truly my tribute to him and to all the other wonderful animals that get rescued and to the wonderful people that rescue them.  If you are looking for a pet, rescue animals make the best pets.  Midnight is an example of what a rescue animal can become with the proper training and lots of love and care.  So go online or go to the humane society and rescue a pet and I bet they will rescue you as well.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may email her at nancyjstoops@verizon.net .

 

Deciding to Start Therapy

By Nancy Stoops

Deciding to start therapy can be a very hard decision.  It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it on our own and that we need some help.  The truth is even though we take care of ourselves sometimes we need the help of a good doctor or an antibiotic and sometimes surgery.  I have always referred to myself as an emotional surgeon.  What I mean by this, is that I open you up and help you begin to deal with all of those dysfunctional feelings that are making you feel so bad and so stuck.  Starting therapy takes an incredible amount of courage and is a sign of strength not weakness.  Please never feel embarrassed that you feel have run out of options and that now you need some help to get through some things.

Over the years I have worked with people 2-91 years of age dealing parenting, drugs, anxiety, depression, autistic spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, appropriate sexual boundaries and so many other issues. Between my groups and my private practice I have literally helped thousands of people learn how to live a happy and balanced life.  I want my clients to be healthy mentally as well as physically and spiritually healthy.  I think all three of these go hand in hand to maintain permanent well-being.

A good place to start is by visiting one of my groups and seeing if you like my style before you start spending your hard earned money.  Keep in mind my co-therapist is a registered therapy dog named Midnight. If you are a dog lover you will have a great team on your side while you are doing some very necessary healing or just getting some tips on how to live more fully!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Depression

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Do you seem to be always sleeping or not able to sleep at all?  Are you eating everything in sight or suffer from no appetite at all.  Have you lost pleasure in doing the things that once made you so happy?  Are you unable to focus and concentrate?  If you are able to answer yes to the questions above, you may be suffering from some form of depression.

Depression comes in many forms. Dysthymic Disorder is a very mild form of depression.  People suffering from this are very functional but just don’t feel happy.  People suffering from severe depression aren’t very functional and need to be treated.  Severe depression can lead to suicide and must be taken seriously.  Bipolar Disorder involves a cycle of a very manic mood and then a fall into a very severe depression.  Many times the mania is accompanied by severe spending or some other risk taking behavior.  People suffering from Bipolar Disorder need to be on medication.  There are subtypes within these main categories that I won’t be expanding upon.

Depression comes from a lack of serotonins, a chemical produced in the brain.  Many people chose to take a pill that will put the serotonins you are lacking back into your body.  Exercise is also a great way to increase your body’s serotonins and to do it in a natural way.  Many of my clients are asked to keep a daily feelings journal as a way to help combat their depression as well.

Don’t let your depression or the depression of a loved one become a way of life.  Everybody should be able to feel the joy and depression stops us from doing that.  Take the time to journal, exercise and possible get some professional help you need to feel the joy in your life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet.  You may purchase Nancy’s books, Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

A World Full Of Anxiety

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I have always been told that worrying is an insult to God.  I always had interpreted this as that we are in good hands and need to trust the plan for our life.  I believe being the best version of myself daily is really all I can do.  I have come to realize that all I really have control over is myself and how I react to my life.  I have no control over others or over their behavior.  I can be helpful as a therapist and plant seeds for change in people.  It’s not up to me whether those seeds get nurtured and grow into the very thing that provide tools for change.

The definition of anxiety is that our demands outweigh our means.  For example feeling as if there isn’t enough time to get everything done.  I think we can always work on improving our time management skills and sometimes we need to set more realistic expectations for ourselves and others.  We need to learn that Rome really wasn’t built in a day and we need to learn patience.  We need to pay attention to our bodies when we aren’t handling our anxiety very well.  We need to practice our deep breathing and our meditation.  We need to take time to pet and cuddle with our animals.  We need to work on staying in the moment and not thinking so ahead of ourselves. We need to just relax and have faith in ourselves, in others and in our life plan.

More than fifty percent of all illnesses are stress related.  If we can learn to relax and manage our stress than we won’t make ourselves sick.  Slow down, breath and have faith in yourself, in others and your life plan.  Learn to manage your life and your stress so that it won’t control you and your life!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

 

Happiness

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops

Most people believe that there is a road to happiness.  Most people believe that certain things need to occur to be happy.  Most people spend their whole life on a quest for happiness but never get there.  I believe happiness is a choice.  I believe happiness is a mindset.  I believe it’s about looking at all that is right with your life and being grateful.  If you spend your days always thinking about what your life isn’t or what you don’t have you won’t be very happy.  Now I’m not implying that people shouldn’t dream big and make those dreams come true.  I’m just saying be happy along the way to making those dreams come true.

Happiness occurs every day I have the honor of being alive.  Yes I had a brother that was murdered, a brother that committed suicide and a father that died from Pancreatic Cancer but I am still here for a reason.  I appreciate each and every day I am here and can make a difference.  I appreciate having a healthy body and the ability to work out every day with my amazing dog Midnight.  I appreciate the sunrise and all the beauty that nature has to offer.  I am happiest doing the simple things even though I have travelled the world. Saturdays with my grandson are about horseback riding and swimming and just laughing.  Saturdays make me very happy.  Watching my dog do his happy roll on the grass makes me filled with joy as I see him filled with joy.

I tell myself every day I refuse to let anybody steal my joy.  People might do and say things that could potential steel my happiness but I decide how I want to respond to their words and behaviors.  We are in control of us and how we respond to others.  I wish happiness and joy for all of you every day!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. 

 

Anxiety and Our Youth

stoops-and-midnight-bw-ORIGBy Nancy Stoops

I have been a psychotherapist for sixteen years and have worked with people of all ages with various issues.  I’m constantly amazed when I have a child or teen brought to me for anxiety issues. We seem to have created a generation that feels very inadequate and struggles with growing up and being successful.  The issues this generation worries about are things my generation didn’t have to deal with.

Our colleges are impacted and hard to get into.  Now kindergarteners have homework and are expected to read and know many more things.  Video games and television are replacing playing outdoors in the fresh air and getting much needed exercise.  This outdoor playing is such a great way to reduce or eliminate stress.  Social media unfortunately has made this generation very lazy and childhood obesity and diabetes are on the rise.

As parents and community leaders we have a social responsibility to help this generation find a healthy balance in their lives in every area.  We need to support and encourage our youth.  We need to provide the necessary tools to help them strive to become their best.  We need to have faith in our youth as so many of them are diamonds in the rough.  We need to give them guidance and tools to help them shine and reach their full potential.

We need to teach the teens that problems can we worked through and that drinking and drugs are not a solution.  We need to teach them how to meditate not medicate to quiet their busy minds.  We need to teach them how to relax by finding balance, getting organized, prioritizing and effectively managing their time and communicating what’s working and not working in their lives.  Please don’t assume they are all pot smoking video game playing lazy worthless human beings.  They are just scared and need some help finding their way!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. 

Everyday Provides a Chance for a New Start

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

Nancy Stoops and Midnight

By Nancy Stoops

We all make mistakes and encounter every day challenges we think we will never overcome.  We beat ourselves up and convince ourselves that things will never get better.  I think we get caught up in these lies that seem to hold us hostage.  We seem to be much better at forgiving others verses forgiving ourselves.  I believe with each new day we have an opportunity to start over.  We have an opportunity to starting journeying down a different road.  Close your eyes for a minute and picture yourself travelling down this new road and seeing the unlimited possibilities it holds.  Now that you see your new plan for your life open your eyes and start putting it in motion.

Change doesn’t come easily so you will have to all learn to be patient with yourselves.  You will have to learn to really appreciate all of your baby steps.  Remember it’s those baby steps that will eventually take you to where you want to be.  Learn to reward yourself with each step you take in the right direction down that new road.  I believe positive affirmations can take us far and are very important to help change permanently occur.  Take out a piece of paper and write some down so when you make some progress down that road you will have them to look at.

Today can be the magical start that you have been wishing for.  I believe in all of you and know you can make the changes necessary for you to become somebody you are proud of.  You must start by getting rid of all of those excuses and loving and forgiving yourself enough to make the change.  I have faith in all of you now it’s time for all of you to start having faith in yourselves!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)2290727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Being Back In School

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I work with so many young people that have recently started school again.  They are all feeling a lot of stress due to the transition from summer to school.  The homework is coming at what seems to be a rapid pace. It’s important for these students to take one day at a time and to not overwhelm themselves.  Going back to school after summer break has been hard on every generation.  It’s important for these students to be well organized with a good notebook and a separate folder for each subject.  It’s a good idea for them to have a folder for work and papers that need to come home and another for what needs to be turned in or go back with them.  A place for pens and other necessary supplies is essential.

I find so many students really struggle with time management and are starting homework much too late in the evening after they have already been up for ten to twelve hours.  It’s ideal for a student to come home and have a good snack and start their homework about thirty minutes after they have arrived home.  I think if they can get their homework out of the way they might actually have part of an evening to relax and renew to prepare the right mindset for the next day.  It’s hard to a successful anything if one is running on fumes. Another important essential is a designated place to study.

Learning is really a lifelong event and it’s important to help somebody be an effective learner.  Being organized, not becoming over whelmed, learning effective time management and having an environment conducive to learning can make a huge difference.  As parents it is our job to help our children with these things so they can be successful lifetime learners!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Surviving the Teen and Adolescent Years

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Every parent of every generation eventually deals with a child that becomes an adolescent and then a teen.  Everything seemed to be going so well and there was peace in your household.  One day your child wakes up and now they are an adolescent and they seem different.  Your very loving, smart, considerate, affectionate child seems to have a new family in his or her friends.  These people, some of which you haven’t even met, seem to be as important as the air they breathe. Sometimes these friends are involved in things that are not appropriate but our adolescent or teen gets very defensive on their behalf. Sometimes our adolescents or teens get in trouble with these friends.  We as parents feel as if we are losing control and so we start to take away electronics out of desperation.  Our adolescents or teens then rebel and start very disrespectful behavior.

The trick is to be a fair parent and to find balance in your parenting.  As parents we must continue to recognize what our adolescents or teens are still doing right even if there is some rebelling and disrespect going on.  If we only give attention for what they are doing wrong that behavior will continue.  If we can somehow still see the good and comment on that while correcting the disrespectful behavior, we have a chance for change.  This is also very important in helping to build a high level of self-esteem in our youth in general.  It’s also important to not hang on too tightly because eventually you will launch them into this world.  The goal is to plant seeds by teaching lessons that will eventually be applied toward their adult lives.  As parents we hope and pray these seeds will take and that our adult children will put more into this world than they take out and be good people!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Our Internal Dialogue

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

We all have a dialogue that lives within us.  It tells us how we feel about ourselves.  It can make us fly or it can literally paralyze us.  Our internal dialogue usually is created in our childhood and it comes from how we feel we are perceived by others, especially our parents.  We learn at a very young age to love ourselves or to hate ourselves.  We adopt a belief system about who we are and about whether we deserve life’s best or whether we deserve nothing good at all.  This belief system can literally create a successful human being or a human being that is always failing.

It is possible to change your internal dialogue if it is destructive.  I think it starts by writing down all of the lies that you live by and correcting them by writing down the truth for every lie.  It sounds so very simple but it is hard work to be so very brutally honest with ourselves.  The alternative is being paralyzed and never having the life you were intended to have or never becoming who God intends you to be.  The alternative is being cheated of all the wonderful that this life does have to offer.

I believe we owe it to ourselves to right the wrong; to correct the irrational belief system that haunts us and steals our joy and hope.  I believe everybody deserves to be who God intends them to be.  Every being has the right to be his or her very best.  How dare we allow anything else for ourselves?  Make today the day that you start to change that internal dialogue.  Make today the day you start to settle for nothing but the best for yourself.  Today become your child’s most effective model for well being and success!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services, feel free to page her at (909229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Are You Living to Die or Dying To Live?

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Our lives are truly about our mindset and how we view our lives.  I must ask you if you are living to die or are you dying to live.  These two ways for which people live sure do look and sound the same but they couldn’t be more different.  Take a look at the first one: living to die.  To me, that means the person is merely existing and just going through the motions until they die.  I don’t believe there is much joy or quality of life with this style of life.  I believe a pretty unhappy and dissatisfied person lives according to the idea of living to die. Now on the other hand, a person who is dying to live has a life of joy and quality.  I believe they are satisfied with their lives and appreciate each and every day they are honored with life.

So how do you live?  Which of these two mottos do you follow? It’s never too late to change.  It all starts by changing your mindset.  It starts by letting go of your past, forgiving yourself and others, and being grateful each and every day we are here.  As you begin the healing process, your mindset will start to help you see all the good in everyday and you will start to feel empowered by the self-induced changes in you and the way you think.

I hope the change will start by reading this article.  I hope you believe you deserve a better life and use this as a road map to take you there.  I have faith in you that you can make the change and get the life you are worthy of!

 

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services, feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.