Category Archives: Weekly News Columns

Straight Talk With Danice

BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

In the past few years my weight has gone out of control. I need help. My husband makes it really hard for me to resist when he brings snacks to bed when we watch TV at night. He brings, pie, ice cream, popcorn, nuts, and even cocktails. I admit I have always loved this snack time, but I told him I am trying to lose weight. He sees me exercising and walking four days a week. But he has a normal weight and eats everything, and I feel like he is sabotaging me. I struggle to stay on my diet even when I’m cooking meals for my family. I do have some willpower, but I need his cooperation so it’s not so hard. How can I get through to him?

-Kim
Dear Kim:

I really feel for you. Excess weight is one of the hardest issues to deal with. In all of my years as a Naturopathic Doctor, I have found that getting a patient to change their eating habits is a very hard thing to do. Popular theory is the calories in/calories out concept. Obviously this is failing for many people. Different bodies gain weight for different reasons, and in different ways. I know a woman who ate 800 calories a day for 2 weeks eating only rice cakes and peanut butter. Her scale didn’t budge. Her body couldn’t manage the carbohydrates would be my guess. I know people who eat three times the amount of food I eat on a continual basis and they don’t have an extra pound on their bodies, and it’s not because they’re involved in vigorous exercise. I am not fortunate in this way either, so I truly do understand your struggle.

However, it is a mistake to blame your husband for your situation or for your discomfort when he eats things in front of you that are not on your eating plan. He has the right to his own choices, even when they seem insensitive to you. You have a right to your choices as well. So let’s take a look at you taking a little personal responsibility for achieving your goal.   It seems to me that doing the family cooking is working against your health and weight goals, so perhaps your husband can take that over for you. You wouldn’t ask him to make the cocktails at a party if he were trying to cut back or quit drinking, right? You would be supportive and allow him to keep some distance until he became stable and accomplished what he set out to do.   As for the late night snacking in front of the TV, I think it would be a better idea if you spent your time doing something else until he is finished with his snack fest. Maybe read, or watch TV in a different room or step out for a bit. I’m sure you enjoy spending time with your husband, but for now, adjustments need to be made. It’s not a good idea to ignore this situation, as it won’t be long before you become resentful. Or perhaps he will, if he is forced to change his eating habits to suit your needs.

Sacrifice yourself, or save yourself. The choice is clear. People with certain personality types often make choices that don’t serve them well personally, and/or physically, in order to do what they think is best for the whole family. I hope you will try to balance this out as you work on your physical well being. Body weight issues are very complex, and can be addressed in a variety of ways. I wish you well in finding the path that feels right for you, and I hope you work out a plan to be true to yourself and your needs.

Sincerely,

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Lost And Found

By PASTOR MARK HOPPER

 

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

I am a big Indiana Jones fan.  At the end of the the first movie, “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, there is a scene where the Ark of the Covenant is packed into a wooden crate and wheeled into a huge warehouse.  It is clear that it will be lost and forgotten among the thousands of other similar crates stored there.

When my wife and I recently traveled overseas some of our luggage got lost.  Our flight from Lisbon to Moscow was delayed and we missed our connection in Milan.  Our luggage should have been transferred with us on the later flight but instead it ended up in “Lost and Found.”

When we finally got to Moscow, our luggage was still in Milan.  The Russian airline personnel assured us that our luggage would be sent to Moscow the next day.  Unfortunately, we were being driven to a city 200 miles away and could not wait for our luggage to arrive.

A few days later, we received an email informing us that our two lost pieces of luggage had arrived in Moscow and we could claim them at the airport when we returned to Moscow in about two weeks. Thankfully we had a document from Aeroflot Airlines that showed we did have two pieces of luggage in storage at the Moscow airport.  But, the airport is a big place and when we got back to Moscow, I went to a variety of offices and ticket counters trying to find the location of the Aeroflot Lost and Found.

Finally, at the end of a maze of hallways and corridors, I found a locked, steel door that said, “Lost and Found”.  When I rang the bell, a stern, uniformed attendant greeted me with suspicion.  She didn’t speak English and I didn’t speak Russian.  But, when I showed her my document she allowed me to come in.

Behind her desk was a storage room filled from floor to ceiling with unclaimed suitcases, baby strollers and car seats.  I am convinced that if you have ever lost a child’s car seat, it is probably at the Lost and Found at the airport in Moscow.  There were dozens of them! The room looked like a scene right out of that Indiana Jones movie.

The stern woman actually was very helpful.  She pointed to the huge storage room and gestured to me to start looking for my lost bags.  It looked impossible. I expected that the luggage would be organized by flight numbers or by airlines.  Instead, suitcases were piled on the floor and on racks all over the room.  It was like trying to find a needle in a hay stack. It would have been easy to give up hope, but I knew our bags were here somewhere.  The airline had sent us an email stating that our bags were here.  Finding them, however, was a challenge.

It is amazing how all luggage looks alike.  One of our bags was gray.  It seemed that most of the other bags in the room were gray, too.  But thankfully, my wife’s bag was bright pink.  We found it first. Now I knew that our bags were really here and I redoubled my effort to find the gray one, too.

After looking for almost half an hour, my new friend, the stern lady official pulled a gray suitcase out of a stack in a far corner with our names on it. Amazing; there it was!

This whole adventure reminded me of a passage on prayer in Matthew, Chapter 7: Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount, “Ask and keep on asking, and it will be given to you. Seek and keep on seeking, and you will find.  Knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened for you.”

I am sure there many lessons that can be learned from this experience.  First, I recommend that you buy only bright colored suitcases in case they end up in a Lost and Found in a foreign country. Second, never give up.  When you face an impossible challenge, keep going.  Persistence and determination can pay off. Third, I believe God still answer prayers.  My wife and I prayed for a safe journey on our travels overseas.  And, we prayed that we would find the lost luggage, especially the bright pink one that was filled with gifts for our grandchildren.

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Straight Talk With Danice

BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.

 

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Danice:

My brother brags about everything. His wonderful job, his smart kids, his beautiful wife, his new BMW, his boat, his latest vacation, and anything else that is impressive in his life. I’m over it. So he’s done well in his life, it’s obvious. Why does he have to shove it in my face by talking about it all the time?

Yvonne

 

Dear Yvonne:

Let’s take a moment to change your perspective. If your brother announced his brain tumor, his bankruptcy, his addiction, his house fire, the failures of his kids, his mean wife – or whatever – you’d be all ears, and maybe even sympathetic enough to offer help. Just take a look at how our society operates these days. When we are doing well, people say things like, “It must be nice. Why doesn’t that ever happen to me? Wish it were me. How’d you get so lucky? He didn’t deserve that.”

Why do people so often offer support to their ailing loved ones, but criticize or shun them when they are doing well? It makes no sense to me; I want everyone to do well!

If your brother is a crashing bore only interested in discussing his own good fortune, then tell him you are bored with constant conversations about him. If you are jealous, then do something about feeling better about your own life. Sharing success stories sounds better to me than sharing tragic stories. All people hope for approval.

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Exploring the World

 BY NANCY STOOPS

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Every year I go on a spiritual journey. I always receive a blessing from a holy person of the country I visit.

This year I will be travelling to Ecuador, and I will go to get my blessing from a Shaman when I first arrive. I will then be off on a yacht to the Galapagos Islands for six days and five nights. Each day we will visit a different island. I will have the chance to swim with sea lions and snorkel with many varieties of sea life. Being around and in the ocean is very healing for me.

After I leave the Galapagos Islands I will be travelling into the Amazon Rainforest where I will stay for four nights and three days. I will be immersed in some of the most unspoiled nature in the world. I will be pretty deep in the jungle and will have a chance to see many wonderful creatures and meet the people of that region. I will end my journey in a city called Banos, which is in the cloud forest and has many natural hot pools. I will be staying at a wellness spa and have many healing treatments when I am there.

As a psychotherapist I need to rejuvenate myself from time to time. These spiritual journeys do just that. I love being immersed in breathtaking nature. I love meeting people from other cultures and learning about their traditions. I have been all over the world, and there are only two continents that I have not travelled to. I plan on going to these continents during the next two years. I want to see our entire wonderful world.

I also believe travelling this world is way to continue to educate myself. I’m excited about my upcoming adventure and know I will come back filled with wonderful new energy to help heal my clients and better serve the needs of the people I love.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

 

Did You Know?

BY K.P. SANDER

 

Perseid Meteor Shower on Aug. 12 (Photo Courtesy: Weather.com)

Perseid Meteor Shower on Aug. 12 (Photo Courtesy: Weather.com)

If you happened to look up in the sky this past week, at just the right time, you may have seen one of the most beautiful displays that nature has to offer.

Unrivaled by any fireworks show, the Perseid Meteor Shower hit its peak in the early morning hours of Aug. 13, with a rainfall of fireballs and lingering star trails. The show – like a summer concert series – runs from July 17 through August 24.

Not to be bested, the competitive super-moon, which occurred last Sunday in its ‘closest to the earth this year’ glory, made the sky so bright that some of the shower was difficult to see.

Weather.com states that the Perseids have been under observation for at least 2,000 years, and are associated with the Swift-Tuttle comet, which orbits the sun once every 133 years. Each August the Earth passes through a path of the comet’s debris, often dazzling the sky with as many as 100 meteors in an hour.

Lunar glare often diminishes the black sky needed to see the true brilliance of the showers, and a trip to an observatory would greatly enhance your viewing. But sometimes just a little patience on a blanket in the yard will provide you with a summer viewing worth the experience. For the full experience, you can visit NASA at http://www.nasa.gov/watchtheskies/perseids-2014. The constellation Perseus must be so proud.

 

 

Did You Know?

BY K.P. SANDER

(Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia)

(Photo Courtesy: Wikipedia)

The Centennial Anniversary of the opening of the Panama Canal will occur on August 15. This engineering marvel, that connects the Pacific and Atlantic oceans by way of the Caribbean Sea, revolutionized ship travel in 1914.

The Canal wasn’t a new concept when its construction began. Through the ages there have been ideas and attempts to connect the two great oceans for trade and travel. Prior to its completion, ships traveling around the globe had to take a very long and hazardous voyage nearly 8,000 miles around Cape Horn at the southernmost tip of South America.

The territory was first under Colombian ownership, then French, and then American. France initially started work on the 48-mile project across the Isthmus of Panama in the 1880s, but due to engineering problems and a high mortality rate from injured and diseased workers, they had to discontinue, leaving a reported 22,000 dead.

The United States took over the project in 1904, taking a decade to complete it. More than 60,000,000 pounds of dynamite was used to excavate the site, and more than 4.5 million cubic yards of concrete went into the construction of the locks and dams. At each end of the canal there are locks that lift passing ships up to the artificially created Gatun Lake. They cross and are lowered to the opposite side. The two lanes of the locks are each 110 feet across, with seven foot thick walls. A third lane to accommodate even larger ships and double capacity is currently under construction, with completion scheduled in 2015.

The smallest “vessel” crossed on August 23, 1928, when Richard Halliburton swam through the Canal. He paid a toll of 36 cents based on his weight of 150 pounds. The fastest recorded crossing was in 1979 when the U.S. Navy hydrofoil, Pegasus, made its way across in 2 hours, 41 minutes. The average ship crossing takes 20 to 30 hours, much of the time dedicated to the bottleneck of ships waiting. More than 30 ships pass through the canal every day.

In 1977, former U.S. President, Jimmy Carter, helped orchestrate the return of the Canal to Panama at the end of the 20th century. The Panamanian government took over control of the project in 1999, and it is now managed by the Panama Canal Authority.

The Panama Canal is one of the largest and most difficult engineering projects ever undertaken, and it has greatly contributed to the world’s economy. There is no doubt why the American Society of Civil Engineers named the Panama Canal one of the seven wonders of the modern world.

A Bed Time Story

BY PASTOR MARK HOPPER

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

When our children were young, we always read them a story or two before they went to bed.  So it is no surprise that our children do the same with their children.  Maybe it is a universal requirement.

Recently we enjoyed spending time with some of our grandchildren.  One of my jobs was to read a bedtime story to one of our grandsons.  He is 6-years old, and growing and learning so much. Instead of reading your typical nursery rhyme or children’s story book, we decided to read a fascinating biography about the life of a man called, “Uncle Cam”.  His parents have a number of these easy-to-read biographies about famous Christian leaders and missionaries.

Uncle Cam’s real name was Cameron Townsend.  He grew up on a small farm in Southern California in the early 1900s and eventually launched a world-wide organization called Wycliffe Bible Translators that helped rural and illiterate people to read and write.

In addition to his literacy work, his goal was to translate the Bible into the languages of these people so they could know about God’s love for them.  And, he wanted to improve their personal lives by teaching these people skills in agriculture and raising livestock.

One particular chapter really caught our attention.  When Uncle Cam was working among a group in rural Mexico in the 1930s, he received an unexpected surprise.  One day the President of Mexico actually came to visit him.  The President had heard of the good things that Uncle Cam was doing for these people and he wanted to come and see it for himself.

My grandson and I were so surprised and excited when we read this.  I’m sure that is a bedtime story that we will remember for a long time.

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

 

 

Starting This School Year Prepared

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The return to school begins very soon and you need to help your children prepare. This is a good time to start having them go to bed a little earlier and to help them get organized.

Make sure to buy them a good notebook with subject dividers, with folders in those dividers to organize their work. Take some time to talk with your child about what worked for them in the last school year, and what they can improve upon this year. Help them set some goals for this year to help make them better students. Also, if your child is starting at a new school, take them to the campus to help them feel comfortable with its layout.

Every year many parents bring their children to me to help them improve in school. I teach them time management skills and we work on not procrastinating. You can help your child with this as well. You can set up a reward system for whenever you see positive changes in them. Time management skills and organizational skills are essential in helping your child succeed in school, and in life in general.

Getting your child to eat a good breakfast and make healthy choices at lunch time is crucial for getting them through the day with the necessary energy to be successful. Besides enough sleep and good nutrition, I feel a multivitamin is very important as well.

Many of these ideas are taught at my free counseling groups. We meet at the Walnut Teen Center every Monday from 6 to 8 p.m. No invitation is needed and everybody is welcome to attend. The address is 21003 La Puente Road in Walnut. Feel free to contact me at (909) 229-0727 if you have any questions. Midnight, the therapy dog, is also there to help!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

Straight Talk With Danice

BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.

 

Dear Danice:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

My mom is becoming very embarrassing. She is 82 years old. She just blurts out whatever is on her mind. She says she is old now, and finds no reason to waste time on censoring her comments. She told her doctor that he was the biggest disgrace she’d seen all year, because he didn’t do anything for her except push more pills at her. She said his mother would be disappointed in him if she knew how lazy he was. It was very uncomfortable. Then she told the girl at the market that she used no logic when she bagged the groceries. My mom often has valid opinions, but she seems so impatient now, even mean and rude. Do you have any ideas for me?

Barb

Dear Barb:

It seems your mom is not willing to waste time on soft conversations. This is not all that uncommon as people get older. Plus, some medications can make people grouchy. I wanted to say ‘speak with her doctor,’ but that seems to be off the table at the moment since she is agitated with her doctor. If I were in your shoes, I would provide my mom with some personal pampering to see if that will take the edge off. Try manicures, pedicures, massages, and the like. Take her for an ice cream or a movie. Maybe a drive to the old neighborhood where she was happiest would be nice. Visit her friends. If you balance the daily grind with some pleasant activities, maybe she will relax and lighten up. Human touch, laughter, hugs, and visits down (good) memory lane, can work wonders for improving a person’s mood.

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

 

Rain, Rain, Go Away

BY PASTOR MARK HOPPER

 

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

We don’t get a lot of rain in Southern California in the summer.  In fact, we usually don’t see a drop of rain between May and November.  We get most of our rain in the winter and spring.

On our recent trip to Central Europe, we experienced the exact opposite.  It rained day after day for a week.  The creeks were full and the hillsides were covered with lush green grass.  It looked like a picture postcard. We all enjoy a light drizzle or an evening shower, but this rain wouldn’t quit.  It rained hard for days.

The farmers may appreciate all the rain, but young grandchildren and visiting grandparents can get a little cabin fever after a week of rain. Usually we got out each day to walk or ride bikes to a local park.  It is fun to get out and the grandkids loved the play yard at the park.  But it was hard to go anywhere with rain every day.

One solution we found was to drive a few miles to a nearby town and go to the shopping mall. This provided a good alternative and got all of us out of the house.

One of the best things about this part of the world is enjoying the outdoors.  It can be cold and barren in the winter, but spring and summer are beautiful.  We love it and the grandkids do, too.

Whether you live in Southern California or Central Europe, rain and water are essential. In the Bible it says, “God has shown His kindness by giving us rain from heaven and crops in their season, providing us with plenty of food and filling our hearts with joy,” (Acts 14:17).

The rain and the weather are good reminders of how blessed we are to live and enjoy the world that God has made, even when it is more rain than we would like. I’m sure we all hope to see some more rain soon in Southern California.

 

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

Straight Talk With Danice

BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

There is a guy I like at my neighborhood bar. I go there three times a week hoping I will run into him. He is always polite to me when I talk to him, so I thought I had a chance with him. He hasn’t been there for the past two weeks now, and some of the waitresses told me that it’s because he thinks I’m stalking him. I have heard this before a few times from other guys I like. I swear I am just being friendly. What is wrong with people? Why are they so mean? How should I show men I am interested in them?

Hannah

 

Dear Hannah:

If the word ‘stalker’ has been used to describe you a few times, then you have some social malfunctions going on. You are probably not able to read body language very well, and are coming on way too strong. If you are willing to really take a look at this, I have plenty to say on the subject, but this is not an adequate setting to have this sort of discussion. Call my office if you’d like to see me privately.

This is a very important issue, and I hope you will address it quickly. Be careful, until you get this sorted out.

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

Depression

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Do you seem to be always sleeping or not able to sleep at all? Are you eating everything in sight or suffer from no appetite at all. Have you lost pleasure in doing the things that once made you so happy? Are you unable to focus and concentrate? If you are able to answer yes to the questions above, you may be suffering from some type of depression.

Depression comes in many forms. Dysthymic Disorder is a very mild form of depression. People suffering from this are very functional but just don’t feel happy. People suffering from severe depression aren’t very functional and need to be treated. Severe depression can lead to suicide and must be taken seriously.

Bipolar Disorder involves a cycle of very manic moods and then a fall into a very severe depression. Many times the mania is accompanied by severe spending or some other risk taking behavior. People suffering from Bipolar Disorder need to be on medication. There are subtypes within these main categories that I won’t expand upon.

Depression comes from a lack of serotonins, a chemical produced in the brain. Many people choose to take a pill that will put the serotonins you are lacking back into your body. Exercise is also a great way to increase your body’s serotonins and to do it in a natural way. Many of my clients are asked to keep a daily feelings journal as a way to help combat their depression as well.

Don’t let your depression or the depression of a loved one become a way of life. Everybody should be able to feel joy, and depression stops us from doing that. Take the time to journal, exercise and possibly get some professional help so you can feel the joy in your life.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

The Mexican Fisherman

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

 

I am convinced that deep inside our hearts we all possess the ability to be successful. I rely on a simple formula: Confidence + Desire = Ability. I believe that when we have confidence, and then add our desire, we find the path to ability. And I believe that each and every one of us can accomplish whatever we want, just as long as we have desire. But it has to come deep from within.

What I’ve also learned is that not everyone shares the same definition of success that I do, and I’ve learned that what’s important to me is not necessarily important to others.

As a motivator, I want everyone in the world to apply themselves and work hard to be on top. I want to encourage everyone to do their best and step up to their inner ability. But I’ve come to the realization that sometimes we have to really look clearly at the big picture, because sometimes our goals are the same. It all depends on how you look at it.

This brings me to a story I’d like to share, a story called, The Mexican Fisherman:

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village, when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

The American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

The fisherman said, “With this I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

To which the fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I’m a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise.”

“But what then?” asked the fisherman. The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions? Then what?” the fisherman asked.

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

This story reminds me that when you’re searching for success in life, you need to determine what success means. Just as the fisherman believed in his simple life, we need to look at the simplicity of what we really want. At times, we may find we don’t need to look too far for success because sometimes we’re already successful. Some of us, deep inside, are simple, happy, already successful Mexican Fishermen.

Standing In The Light

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO
Doug was a simple guy who had worked hard to be “normal.” His upbringing wasn’t the best, but Doug beat the odds and found life within his spiritual realm. He found God and decided that his true place in life was with Him. He wanted to come out of the darkness and stand strong into the light.

One day Doug stood in line at a mini-mart when a young woman came in. He immediately noticed her long brown hair, her beautiful eyes, and her slightly crooked smile. She raced in for her purchase, and without noticing, dropped a fifty-dollar bill on the floor.

As he hesitated, Doug remembered his obligation to stand in the light. He remembered that he attends church on Sundays, and needs to do what is right; but he didn’t. A little voice in Doug’s head whispered, “Pick up the money and put it in your pocket.” He picked up the fifty, placed it in his pocket, and turned the negative into a positive by bragging about how “lucky” he was.

Soon after, he reexamined his actions and tried to justify them. He thought to himself, “God wanted me to have this money; he knew how much I needed it.” And then the guilt set in. He wasn’t comfortable attending church on Sundays, and he began to run from his guilt by not caring anymore. Doug was lost to guilt and temptation.

Several weeks went by and Doug’s dishonesty grew. He felt content about his new place because he received things he didn’t earn; he took things that he didn’t deserve. His ‘cheating the system’ helped him receive tangible items that he usually couldn’t afford. And then one day a friend invited him back to church and Doug was faced with an uncomfortable decision: Do I continue my wicked ways, or do I go back to the light?

If Doug was to give up his newfound lifestyle, he would then have to change what he was taking from others. He would have to exchange his financial riches for spiritual ones. Honesty would once again have to prevail in his life. All the taking, which had grown into a disease, would have to transform into giving. But Doug was afraid of doing what was right.

I believe that honesty doesn’t just happen, and to many, it has to be taught. To truly stand strong in the light requires commitment and focus on the bigger picture. And although life has given me unpredictable waves that have created confusion within my own life, I still believe that there is something out there, a higher power, and an incredible universe that shines brighter than imaginable. In those moments when we do the right thing, when we feel inexplicable happiness and peace, we draw from this power and feel the benefit of this light.

I hope for Doug, and the many others who have fallen into the darkness of life, that they can overcome their fears about love, affection, honesty, intimacy, goodness and truth. And is it really easier to live in that fear within the darkness? When we are able to overcome and understand who we really are, where we are going, and what we believe in, these elements of truth help keep us free from sin, pain, and being fearful. At that time we will have no fear, and we will stand strong with our hearts full of that light.

 

Having Fun In The Summer

BY NANCY STOOPS

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Summer is a wonderful time to do so many fun things. I really enjoy being outside and all the activities that go with it being warmer. I love outdoor concerts and I find the venues offer opportunities to go see many of my favorite artists. I love listening to my favorite music while being able to enjoy a beautiful evening sky. If you are a little short on cash many of the cities offer free concerts in the park. It is a great opportunity to pack up a picnic dinner and go enjoy an evening in the park.

As the sun starts to go down and it cools down a bit, a walk in the evening can be a great way to help stay healthy during the summer. As you walk, I hope you will take sometime to enjoy the magnificent sunsets that we have been having this summer.

Summer is also a great time to invite family and friends over for a cookout or maybe take everybody down to the beach and cook there. You could rent a kayak, take a harbor or a dinner cruise, go to Catalina for the day, or build sand castles. These are just a few of the activities the beach offers for all ages. You could find a dog beach and spend the day down at the beach with your most loyal and best friend.

There are still many days of summer left if you should want to take a family vacation. It could be a simple as camping down at the beach or as elaborate as going out of the country. Remember how quickly your children are growing up and try to take advantage of the fact that they are on summer break. Try to spend some quality time with them this summer. Turn off the electronics and make a pitcher of lemonade and spend some time as a family outside enjoying each other and this wonderful season called summer.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

 

 

 

 

Straight Talk With Danice

BY DANICE AKIYOSHI, N.D.

 

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi:

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi, Naturopathic Doctor, Coaching, Counseling

Dr. Danice Akiyoshi

I know I am getting older (71), but I’m annoyed with the way my daughter-in-law has started criticizing every move I make. It’s getting to the point that I don’t even want to be around her anymore, and I used to love her company. Here are a few examples:

“Mom, do you notice that you don’t park as well as you used to? Your gravy isn’t as good as it used to be. You should stay out of the sun; those dark spots on your face are getting bigger. You already told me that; maybe you should see a doctor. Why do you need a new car? You hardly ever go anywhere. Have you considered changing your hair? Would you let me pick the new style? You’ve been wearing it this way for too long, it’s outdated. You spoil your dog. You over cook your vegetables. Your skin looks so dry, you need a different moisturizer.”

The list goes on and on. I love my daughter-in-law, but I need a break from her. I mentioned it to my son, but he says I should ignore her comments. I don’t think I can do that, and I feel self-conscious and rattled every time I’m around her. Getting old is hard enough. I don’t need a constant reminder. I am totally self sufficient, and I don’t need her assistance in any way. I need advice.

Mary in Diamond Bar

 

Dear Mary:

I am sorry you are going through this. My response to anyone who takes steps to ruin my experience would be this:

“I’ve made peace with the fact that I am on the second half of my life. I don’t casually throw my days away like I did when I was twenty or thirty. I’ve decided not to spend my time feeling negative emotions. I’ve also decided I won’t share my time with people who diminish me in any way. At this stage of my life, I’m interested in interacting with people who enhance my days. I think it’s time for us to discontinue our visits. However, I do wish you well.”

If your daughter in law wishes to spend time with you, she will adjust her behavior. If she offers a sincere apology, accept it. As a courtesy, you might want to let your son know of your plans.

Good Luck,

Danice Akiyoshi, N.D.

 

Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com.

 

From Russia With Love

BY PASTOR MARK HOPPER

 

Pastor Mark Hopper Diamond Bar

Pastor Mark Hopper

My wife and I were in western Russia recently with a team from our church.  We have maintained a partnership with a Russian church for almost 20 years.

 

Our primary activity on this trip was to teach English to students and young adults.  Students in almost every country in the world love to learn and improve their skills in another language.  This is true in Russia as well.

 

Several translators helped us communicate with our Russian hosts and with the students who attended the English camp.  We were impressed by the ability of many students to understand and speak English. They were excited to get to practice their speaking skills with us.  Many have studied English in school, but very few have had the opportunity to practice speaking with Americans and other English speakers.

 

Each day was filled with classroom instruction and individual interaction.  There was also time for other activities and recreation. Many of the students were connected with our host church.  But, others were non-church guests and friends. We enjoyed opportunities to help them with their English skills and to talk about their personal faith in God, too.

 

I know there are political tensions between our nations, but we found the Russian people we met to be warm and gracious.  We were thankful for the opportunity to reconnect with these delightful people.

 

Pastor Mark Hopper is from the Evangelical Free Church of Diamond Bar, 3255 South Diamond Bar Ave. Sunday services are 9 a.m. and 10:45 a.m. For more information, call (909) 594-7604 or visit http://www.efreedb.org.

 

Chino: Police Arrest Three Robbery Suspects

STAFF REPORTS

 

Chino – On July 10, officers of the Chino Police Department arrested three suspects who are believed to have been involved in an armed robbery that took place in the 12800 block of 16th Street.

At approximately 3:24 a.m., a victim told police he was robbed at gunpoint while walking on 16th street, and that his handgun and cash had been taken by three armed suspects described as Hispanic males. The suspects were last seen running from the scene into a nearby residential area.

According to a press release from the City of Chino, officers quickly cordoned off the area of Benson Avenue, 18th Street, Tronkeel and Serene Avenues, and evacuated nearby residents. Members of the Chino SWAT Team arrived on scene and surrounded a house in the 12800 block of 16th Street, which is where the suspects were believed to be hiding.

At approximately 5:52 a.m., officers came into contact with Edgar Campos, 20, of Chino, who was walking in the 12800 block of 18th Street. Officers detained him for questioning and later arrested him for his alleged involvement in the robbery.

At 12:04 p.m., SWAT officers removed the second suspect, Rigoberto Garcia, Jr., 24, of Chino, from the home on 16th Street.

Through the investigative process, officers arrested a third suspect – Carlos Meza, 21, of Chino – at around 12:58 p.m. Meza was arrested near the intersection of Benson and Tronkeel Avenues.

All three suspects were booked at the West Valley Detention Center on robbery with gang enhancements. Details are still emerging and the investigation is ongoing. Anyone with information is asked to contact the Chino Police Department at (909) 628-1234.

 

 

Becoming Who We’re Intended to Be

BY NANCY STOOPS

 

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

I believe we are all born with an incredible potential to be our best. I think that there is a plan for our lives. Within that plan is an interpretation of us at our absolute personal best. My goal has always been to keep growing and functioning at my optimum each and every day. I believe that if I do this, I will grow into the person I’m intended to be. This is my way of honoring my life and my creator.

Life isn’t always an easy thing and many curve balls will be thrown our way. Having lost one brother to suicide, another to murder, and a father to pancreatic cancer has taught me how vulnerable we all are. It has also made me feel so very blessed to still be alive and well.

I don’t just want to go through my life living to die; instead I have always died to live. I want to be my best so that I can experience my life fully. I live my life very passionately and want to feel all of it.

It is very hard work to examine the pieces of yourself that get in the way of being who you are intended to be. It’s even harder work to have the courage to let go of these dysfunctional pieces. Most of these pieces have been a part of us for a long time, and serve some dysfunctional purpose that we have grown to rely on. It’s in really learning to let go that will allow us to become who we are intended to be. This gut-wrenching, but very worthwhile, personal work can lead us into total inner peace and contentment.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops, M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens. For more information about any of these services feel free to page her at (626) 935-3818. You may also email her at stoopsshecter@earthlink.net. Nancy’s book, “Live, Heal and Grow” is available for purchase at http://www.RoseDogBookstore.com or Amazon.com

 

The Carpenter

By Michael Armijo

 

I received an email a while back that has always resonated with me. I find myself thinking about it from time to time, as the words it contained often remind me to work hard and be proud of what I’ve accomplished. It has encouraged me to continue to keep my heart within my work, as you never know what life will bring you. It is good advice, no matter who you are or what you do, and I share it with you now.

The Carpenter: An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife and extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The employer, who was sorry to see his good worker go, asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you for all of your hard work and dedication.”

The carpenter was shocked; what a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we’ve built. If we could do it over, we’d do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. “Life is a do-it-yourself project,” someone once said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the “house” you live in tomorrow. Build wisely, and remember: Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Enjoy life like it’s your last day on Earth.