Category Archives: Weekly News Columns

Embracing the Season

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Lights are being hung everywhere.  People have a twinkle of joy in their eyes.  The air is crisp and clean and I feel filled with excitement, as I prepare to celebrate the holidays with my loved ones.

Ever since I was a very little girl I have really enjoyed this time of year.  I love the idea of celebrating life and for me; this season gives me one more reason to do just that.  I enjoy shopping for gifts and taking some long lunches along the way with the people I love.  I enjoy the special flavored coffees this time of year.  I love seeing the stores all decorated and people just seem to be a little kinder to each other as well.

I walked out of my house this morning and thought about how lucky I am to have such wonderful people to celebrate with.  I look forward to the dinners, the gift giving, going away on an adventure but mostly just being with all the people I love.  I will have an opportunity to take some time off and to really embrace the season.  I love baking cookies with my son, shopping with my loved ones, having lots of time with my best friend, going out to breakfast with my husband, spending quality time with mom and just having time to laugh together with all the people I love.

For me, the season is a wonderful opportunity to show how much I love the people that mean the most to me in this world.  I hope you will do the same.  I wish you peace and joy as you celebrate this wonderful time.  I hope you will embrace the season and your loved ones and remember what this time of year is really about.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy atnancyjstoops@verizon.net.  Nancy’s latest book Midnight the Therapy Dog is the perfect gift and is available at Amazon.com.

First On The Block Again

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Mark Hopper

I have shared in the past that my wife likes to put up our Christmas decorations the day after Thanksgiving. We have boxes and boxes of decorations that take hours and hours to put up and display. It is a lot of work, but she really enjoys decorating for the Christmas season.

 

Part of decorating for Christmas includes putting up lights on the outside of our house. This is primarily my job. I use the same colored lights every year. I suppose they look a little dated, but they still work!

I always like to be the first on our block to have Christmas lights on our house.  Sure enough, we were first again this year.  I think that the City of Diamond Bar used to give recognition to the homes that have the best outdoor holiday decorations.  I doubt that we will ever win that prize, but I wonder if we might win a prize for being the first in the neighborhood.

 

However, I must admit, I was a little grumpy this year.  Decorating is a tedious task.  I have to get the lights out of the garage and test each string to see if all the bulbs still work.  Then I have to get out my step ladder and climb up and down numerous times to hang the lights up on the house.  I always forget which string of lights go where.  After all, I only do this once a year.

 

And, I think I was a little grumpy that I was putting the lights up by myself again this year.  The kids are grown and gone, and my wife spends many more hours than I do decorating the inside of our house.   The grandkids are too young to help.  Maybe I had a little too much Turkey at Thanksgiving this year.  I just wasn’t as motivated as I have been in the past.

 

Secretly, I was hoping that it might rain the day after Thanksgiving so I would have an excuse to not work on the outside lights.  But, unfortunately the weather was beautiful with temperatures in the 80’s.  It was inevitable – ready or not it was time to put up the outside Christmas lights.

 

Gradually my attitude and outlook began to change as I put up the lights.  I realized that I shouldn’t be grumpy that I have to put up the lights on the house, but that I should be grateful that I have a house to put lights on!   I’m sure there are a lot of people who would be thrilled to have a house to decorate for Christmas.  I should be grateful not grumpy.

 

By the time I was finished, I was glad I was able to decorate the outside of our house for the holidays.  I was thankful we have a house to decorate!  After the sun set on the day after Thanksgiving, I was pleased to see the Christmas lights on our house again.  They looked pretty good, too!

 

I hope that you enjoy the Christmas season this year.  Enjoy the season with a thankful heart.  Don’t be grumpy about the decorating, shopping or spending.   Be grateful that you have a home to decorate, and friends and family to share it with.  They will be glad you did and you will too!

 

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

909-594-7604

Christmas Services December 24th

At 9:00, 10:45 & 5:00 PM

Efreedb.org

Dress For Success

By Mark Hopper

In a recent article, I shared about some of my experiences as a pastor when I visit people in hospitals. Thousands of people work in hospitals, Technicians, clerks, nurses, surgeons, security officers and janitors all work in hospitals.       Different employees wear different clothes and uniforms. The security people wear warm jackets. The doctor’s will usually wear lab coats. The custodial crew wears another kind of uniform. Nurses often wear bright, attractive medical outfits. The people in food service may wear hair nets and aprons if they handle food in the commissary or cafeteria.

I always enjoy speaking to the employees and volunteers at the information desk. Their help is invaluable when looking for a patient in a hospital.  The people at the front desk have access to the hospital data base and they can usually find the room number of a patient quickly.

There is one individual at the front desk of a large hospital in the area that stands out in my mind. Not only is he helpful and knowledgeable, but he is dressed for success! Unlike most of the people I meet at the info desk, this man is dressed up with a suit and tie.  He looks like he could be the CEO of the hospital, not one of the regular employees at the front door.

I don’t know his name, but he is both helpful and professional as he assists people walking through the front door. I have observed him helping patients who are checking-in to the hospital and he seems to put people at ease as he directs them to the hallway or elevator they are looking for.

His professional appearance gives you the sense that he knows what he is talking about and that the information he provides is accurate. He is the best dressed front desk hospital employee I know.

The Bible cautions us to not judge people by the clothes they wear.  James warned us to not show favoritism to people who wear fine clothes and warns us to not ignore those who are dressed poorly (James 2:1-9). There are times when my wife advises me on what shirt or tie I should or should not wear.  My friends and co-workers will tell you that I am challenged when it comes to fashion and style.

However, we should give attention to the way we dress for work. Teachers usually maintain a professional appearance. Coaches and PE teachers often wear shorts and dress more casually. But, one college coach told me that he never wears a pair of shorts to a meeting with his Dean. He always puts on a pair of long pants and a collared shirt when going to a meeting in the administration building.

Let me encourage you to dress for success. We live in a generation where casual is becoming more common.  Maybe you should consider dressing up a little more for work or take time to add a new shirt or blouse to your wardrobe. You will be glad you did and others will too!

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

909-594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

Depression and the Holidays

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Did you know that suicide rates are among the highest during the holidays?  This may sound very strange to some of you, but it is true.  Believe it or not this isn’t a wonderful time of year for everybody.  I remember, as a little girl thinking how anybody could be sad this time of year.  Now that I’m grown up and work as a therapist, I understand this concept much better.

The holidays seem to make us vulnerable and open our eyes to things that are painful for us.  This time of year, we seem to become very sentimental and want to be close to our family and friends.  This is a great idea in theory, but what if you have alienated them or maybe they have passed away.  This could make your holiday feel like a very lonely time.  It makes it worse when you see other families and friends gather together.

Are you feeling without purpose this holiday season?   This may be the cause of your depression this time of year.  There are so very many places you could go and donate some time.  There are many people that are sick or just plain less fortunate than we are.  You could really make a difference for an individual, a family, or an animal and fight off the depression as well.

Whatever may be causing your depression during this holiday season, decide to do something about it. Don’t sit around and feel sorry for yourself this year, life is just too short.  Call an old friend, make up with a family member, help the less fortunate, or whatever else it takes to get through this holiday.  My point is, this year learn to help yourself, and you will give you, the greatest gift you have ever received!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at stoopsshecter@earthlinknet.  You may purchase Nancy’s latest books Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

I Can Fix It (Part II)

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Mark Hopper

A few weeks ago I shared that my lawn mower was broken.  I tried to fix it myself, but was unsuccessful.  Then I called my faithful lawn mower repairman but his phone was no longer in service. What a Bummer.

In desperation, I looked on the internet to try and find another repairman in the area. Several repair shops were listed in Pomona, San Dimas and Glendora. I decided to try the repair shop in Pomona. They came and picked up my mower. I waited to get their estimate on what it would cost to get my McLane, seven-blade front throw gas mower going again.

I sat by the phone, waiting for their call. What was their diagnosis? How much would it cost? Would it be worth repairing my old lawn mower?

When the call finally came, there was both good news and bad news. The good news was that it could be fixed.  The bad news was how much it would cost.

Actually, the basic repair was under $100. The mower needed a new pulley and a new belt. I was encouraged to hear that it could be fixed for under $100.  However, they also recommended a “tune up” – changing the oil, replacing the air filter and installing a new spark plug. The cost for that was about $50.  In addition, the repairman offered to sharpen the blades.  My McLane seven-blade mower has a lot of blades! How much would this cost? It would be around $100 more.

This was the moment of truth. Do I trust the repairman? Does the mower really need all of these fixes? Is it worth spending that much money on an old lawn mower? Should I just go for the basic repair and get the mower running again or should I spend more money hoping that it will work better and last longer?

Should I go for option number one, option number two or option number three? It sounded like the old TV game show”Let’s make A Deal”! What would you do?

Most of you who know me very well would assume I would go for option number one – settle for the band aide fix and save money. But, I actually chose option number three – spend the money and do all the repairs that the repairman recommended.

When they delivered my McLane, seven-blade front throw power mower to my house, it looked like a new mower! They had cleaned off the old grass. The new spark plug sparkled and the sharpened blades glistened in the sunlight. When the repairman fired up the engine, it purred like a kitten. When he invited me to try it out, I couldn’t believe how well it cut the grass. I was impressed!

I feel like my mower has been given a second chance in life. It has been saved from the junk pile and is cutting grass better than it has in years. I don’t know how long it will keep going, but my repairman deserves “five stars” on his Yelp review!

I suppose there are a lot of life lessons we can learn from my lawn mower adventure. There are some things in our lives that we cannot fix ourselves. We need to call on God to be the “repairman” in our lives. He can fix and He can forgive the mistakes and struggles that we cannot fix ourselves. He can restore broken relationships and repair broken hearts. The Bible says that God loves to take broken people and give us new life. One verse says that when we become a follower of Jesus, our old life is set aside and all things become new (II Corinthians 5:17).

Let me encourage you to call on God today in prayer. Confess your mistakes. Admit you can’t fix everything yourself. Ask Him for His help and forgiveness. Allow our heavenly repairman to do His work in your heart and give you a new start through faith in Jesus. You will be glad you did and He will too!

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

(909) 594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

 

A Gift from the Heart is Priceless

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Times are tough for so many right now.  I know the media makes us feel like we show our love by spending lots of money.  It shows people giving diamonds and luxury cars and the message is that if you really love somebody you’ll give them this type of gift.  The truth is the most people don’t have that kind of money to spend on themselves much less somebody else.

Many people tell me they feel bad because they wish they had more money to spend this holiday season.  Maybe I’m wrong but the true meaning of the holiday is to spread love and kindness and those things are free.  There are many ways to show love and kindness.  This time of year is about reminding all the special people in our lives how very much we appreciate them.  I have many people every year besides my family and friends that I get a tiny gift for.  I don’t spend too much but they sure do appreciate my gesture.

Photo courtesy: Google Images

I always love spending time with my family and friends but this time of year is special because we all have time off and we have more time to be together.  We love sharing meals together, singing songs, baking cookies, laughing, creating memories, taking pictures and getting all of the generations together.  For us the holidays are about having fun and just having more time to express our love for each other.  We make sure to always make time for lots of hugs and kisses as well.  Over the years I have made many gifts for friends and family.  We are all very sentimental so a gift from the heart is priceless in my family and doesn’t have to cost you a cent.  Just enjoy the holiday season!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s book’s Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Off to Antarctica My Final Continent

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

At the age of seventeen I started my travels around the world and spent three months in Europe.  My love for travel has taken me to six of the seven continents.  On December the 6th I will leave for Antarctica my 7th and final continent.  I’m really excited about being able to say finally I will have been around the world.  I’m also very thrilled to make some penguin friends. I will fly from Los Angeles into Argentina.  I will spend two night in Argentina and then board my ship to go to Antarctica. It will take us three days to get there through the very rough seas of the Drake Passage.  I will then have three days in Antarctica and then come back home through the Drake Passage and then back to Argentina and finally Los Angeles.

I must admit the five year old little girl that lives inside of me is so very excited about all of the wildlife we will see and about going on such a magnificent expedition.  I know that this is a once in a lifetime trip and I plan on enjoying every single second.  People are only allowed to go to Antarctica during the months of October through March.  It is dark the rest of the time.  December is actually the warmest month and the best time to go.  From everything I’ve read it looks like it will be in the thirties most days. I will have sunlight twenty-four hours a day.

There is so very much to buy and to do to prepare for travel to Antarctica but I have everything and I’m putting everything together to get ready to be packed up.  You must buy three layers of clothing and most of the companies give you a parka and loan you appropriate boots for hiking on Antarctica. Well soon I’m off and I will write about my adventure when I return.

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy is now accepting new clients.  She also works as a motivational speaker.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens and can handle many court mandated needs.  For more information about any of these services contact Nancy at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

College Football

Pastor Mark Hopper

By Mark Hopper

One of the fun things that happens at this time of year is college football. The season has gone by so quickly and there is already a lot of talk about which teams will qualify to play in the post-season bowl games.

There is something about college football that appeals to me. College football is full of tradition.  Teams have their school colors and their school mascot.  Stadiums are filled with fans wearing t-shirts and sweatshirts proudly proclaiming their loyalty and support.

College football games usually include large marching bands that perform during halftime.  These bands add to the energy and pageantry to the game.  All through the game, the bands continue to play music and their school’s fight song to inspire their team and their fans.

Many years ago, my wife and I attended a college football game with some friends in Texas.  We had tickets in the student section.  The atmosphere was electric.  We were excited to go to a game at this university which was well-known for its football program.  But, what we didn’t realize was that the people in the student section don’t sit down. They stand throughout the game!

Since we stood during the whole game, I wondered why we bought a ticket with a specific seat assignment?  I must admit it was fun to be in the student section, but I was pretty tired by the end of the game.

Another tradition at this university was throwing the cheer leaders into the fountain if their football team won the game.  If they win, the cheerleaders got wet!

Photo courtesy: Google Images

Here in Southern California we have a number colleges and universities.  Several have nationally recognized football programs. You often see the names or logos of these schools on t-shirts and bumper stickers.  Many alumni proudly promote their school on the license plate frames on their cars and trucks.

Since most college football games are played on Saturday, there is often a lot of talk on the church patio on Sunday about the games the day before.  If your favorite team college team won on Saturday, you are glad to share the news with your friends on Sunday.  But, if your team lost on Saturday, you are more likely to talk about the weather than football!

I don’t know if there are any football fans in your family.  But, I suspect there are some college football fans in your neighborhood. Please be patient with them if they seem to get carried away with enthusiasm this time of year.  At the same time, if you are an avid college football fan, enjoy the moment.  The season will soon be over!

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

(909) 594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

 

Rent or Buy?

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

Most people start their independent living when they first move out of their parent’s home by renting.  They either choose to rent a room at another person’s home, or possibly move into a friend’s apartment. Many times they go from that living arrangement to sharing the cost of renting an apartment or house together with a few friends or just someone else.

Although everyone has their own decisions to make, and many different circumstances, across our country, we tend to follow a consumer pattern throughout our lives.  Many financial analysts have studied the consumer cycle, and an established pattern has been the following for our society at large: one first starts working in their early late teens and into the early 20’s, and then family formation follows in the mid-twenties to mid-thirties.  Typically, at the stage of family formation and into the cycle of a young family  is when most of us address the issue of “Buying versus Renting”.  At this stage, there are usually young children in the household, and the provision for a home with a yard for the children to play in becomes a major concern.

Currently, the rental rates are very high, and have been increasing substantially at 5% plus per year over the last 6-7 years. This highlights the need to stabilize the monthly housing cost, and with current interest rates, it is a very good time to lock in a low rate by buying a home. Many economists are predicting interest rates will increase this year.  Just this week, the Federal Reserve approved its second rate hike of the year, increasing its benchmark interest rate by one-quarter percent.  This rate hike eventually gets spread out to consumer interest rates.

There are many other factors that come into making a decision on whether to Rent or Buy. Next week, I will provide in more detail those factors, as well as show a point by point comparison on the options.

This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Ca BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at nefcortez@gmail.com.  Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

 

Thoughts on Gratitude

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

I can’t believe the holidays are here already.  Thanksgiving is truly one of my favorite holidays.  I love the gathering of my special family and friends.  I think about having a whole lazy day with my favorite people and I get very happy.  We are all usually so rushed but on Thanksgiving we take our time together and that is a gift.

Having time to share with my loved ones is something I’m very grateful for.  Having loved ones to share the holiday with is also something that makes me feel grateful.  We sit together in my big house, with much more food than we could ever really eat and again, all I feel is gratitude.  I look around the table and everybody is really enjoying themselves and I think how grateful I am and how special my loved ones are.  I love when people have a really good time at my house.  It fills my heart with joy.

I have lost all of my siblings and my father but this year I will not mourn the losses, instead I will be grateful for their memory and for the people I have left, to help me celebrate.  I know I’m a very blessed woman and this year on Thanksgiving and every other day, I will be grateful. I will sit at the table and look into the faces of the people I love.  The room with be filled with wonderful smells and so much laughter our bellies will ache.  My heart will sing with joy as I have the honor of celebrating all my gratitude, with all of my favorite people.  I wish you the most wonderful Thanksgiving.  This year really pay attention to how blessed you are and just take some time to be grateful for everything!!!!!!!!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. Nancy has two books on Amazon Live, Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog.

I Can Fix That

By Mark Hopper

For many years, we had a gardener who mowed our grass each week.  He was faithful and conscientious and did a good job. However, one day I got the idea that maybe I should be mowing the lawn.  I could save money and get some valuable exercise too!

I have hybrid-Bermuda grass – similar to what they use on golf greens.  It is a tight, short type of grass that requires a special lawn mower.  Most golf courses I know use a McLane seven-blade front-throw mower to cut the grass on their putting greens.

I was able to buy a used McLane seven-blade gas mower on the internet.  I had high hopes for my “new” mower and for my lawn, too.  But, it hasn’t turned out as well as I expected.

Over the years, my used McLane mower has needed frequent repairs.  Thankfully, there was a helpful lawn mower repairman in our neighborhood.  He would pick up my mower with his truck and take it to his shop and get it going again.

Recently, my mower stopped working again.  But, when I called my repairman friend, the phone company said that his number was no longer in service.  Now what was I gong to do?  My trusty, reliable repairman was gone.  Maybe he retired and moved to Arizona where they only have gravel or crushed granite covering the front and back yards and don’t need lawn mowers!

I decided to try to fix the lawn mower myself.  It can’t be that hard.  I gathered up some tools and began to remove a few nuts and bolts here and there.  It was fun to see the belt and chain and springs that made the mower run.  I even cleaned out a lot of dry grass that had accumulated over many years under the mower and on the blades.

I looked up the manufacturer online and discovered that McLane seven-blade, front throw lawn mowers are actually made right here in Southern California. I ordered a couple of parts online hoping these could fix my problem.

I also looked on YouTube to see if I could diagnose the problem with the help of some of the do-it-yourself videos.  But, after several hours of effort and a number of phone calls, I was not successful.  Bummer!

So, what do you do when you are unable to fix your own lawn mower?  Call another local lawn mower repairman!  I found a new source in Pomona.  They came and got my mower with their pickup truck and took it to their shop.  As I write this article, I am anxiously sitting by the phone waiting for a call from the shop with an estimate for the cost of the necessary repairs.

If their estimate is reasonable, I will probably let them fix it so I can continue to mow my lawn.  If the estimate is too high, I may call the local crushed granite company and see how much it would cost to change the look of my yard from grass to granite!  I will let you know how it goes.

Let me encourage you to try fixing some stuff by yourself.  It can be very rewarding and you can save a lot of money, too.  But, let me also encourage you to be willing to ask for help.  There are some things that we just can’t fix by ourselves.  There are times we need help from others.

I suppose this is true in life too.  There are some things that we can fix ourselves.  But, there are some things we can’t.  In the Bible, we are instructed to pray and ask God for help.  Some things are beyond our human resources and skills.  One verse says, “Let us draw near (in prayer) with confidence to the throne of grace so that we may receive mercy and may find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16).  Make the “call” today.  Ask for help.  You will be glad you did!

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

909-594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

 

Finding Support During The Holidays

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

The holidays for many of us are joyful and fun but that isn’t the case for everybody or every family. I think especially with the way our economy is this holiday season may be hard for many families.  I wanted to let you all know that I run free support groups.  I run a group every Monday evening from 6-8 p.m. every week at the Walnut Gymnasium and Teen Center located at 21003 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 444-0089.  I also run a grieving group the first Friday of every month from 9-11a.m. at the Walnut Senior Center located at 21215 La Puente Rd. in Walnut.  Their phone number is (909) 598-6200.  Both of these groups are subsidized by the city and in turn are free to you.  These groups have been in place for over fifteen years and have helped thousands over the years.  All you have to do to participate is show up.  My Monday evening group handles many court-mandated needs as well.

So whether you’re feeling depressed during the season or just plain overwhelmed come to a group and find some support. It can be very consoling to find out that you’re not the only one feeling the way you are during the season.  Just remember to not get so caught up in worrying about giving the perfect gift, or providing the perfect meal or worrying your house isn’t looking good enough to host a party.  Keep in mind that the season is just about sharing and spreading our love.  So focus on doing just that and don’t worry so much about not having a ton of money to spend on your loved ones.  We tell our children and loved ones to just to their best, well now I’m telling all of you the same.  Embrace the season and enjoy good times with your loved ones, all the while reminding yourself how very blessed you really are!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups for teens.  For more information about any of these services feel free contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

Giving Thanks for Housing

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

Everyone that has a “roof over their heads” has a reason to be Thankful.  Many of us were able to sit around the dinner table and enjoy this Thanksgiving with family and friends. In contrast, there are many unfortunate people throughout the world that are spent this Thanksgiving Day 2017 without one of the basic necessities of life…Shelter.

We can be thankful that here in the United States of America we are able to say that anyone who needs shelter has it available to them.  There are many wonderful people that have committed their lives, and others who volunteer so much of their time, to help those in need. Yet, there are many who may be homeless (without shelter) at this time.  Many are there as a consequence of some unfortunate circumstance or due to the outcome of some poor decisions.

There are still over 564,000 people in America that are homeless. That is a huge number, yet in contrast, it is but a very small percentage of all Americans. Less than 1.7 of one-hundredths of one percent are homeless.  Studies have shown that 60-70 per cent of the homeless population is homeless due to their poor mental health.  More needs to be done about that issue.

Many fine organizations like the Union Mission in Los Angeles are provided all the “fixin’s” of the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner this holiday, and many are able to be Thankful for being on either end of the Gift of that “giving”. There are those that receive, and those that Give.  Both are blessed by the exchange.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Cal BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at: nefcortez@gmail.com. Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

NEF CORTEZ,
Broker  CalBRE # 00560181
Certified REO Broker
Certified Distress Property Expert

ReMax Realty 100

1411 S. Diamond Bar Blvd.,

Diamond Bar, Ca.  91765

e-mail: nefcortez@gmail.com

Office: 909-610-6303
Fax:  909-752-3163
Cell: 909-762-8135

 

Happy Thanksgiving

By Mark Hopper

One of the ways that I know that Thanksgiving is coming is when I see Pumpkin pies at Costco.  I love Pumpkin pie and I get excited to see them in season at Costco. Their pies are big and they taste good!

My wife loves to decorate our house in different ways for the changing seasons.  She has special dishes and table decorations specifically for Thanksgiving.  She has had our dinning room table decorated for weeks.  You probably have plenty of Thanksgiving decorations at your house too.

Fall leaves and pumpkins are on display in many stores.  We may not have the Fall leaves like they do back east, but at least we have some in the local stores!  We really don’t have the Fall weather either, but even in Southern California there are hints of the changing seasons.

My favorite part of Thanksgiving isn’t the food or decorations.  It is having our family together.  I really enjoy seeing our dinner table surrounded by our family on Thanksgiving Day.  These days we have some little ones who make it even more fun.

Sometimes we have had extra guests at Thanksgiving.  When our children were in college, they sometimes brought home friends or roommates who could not go home for Thanksgiving.  We were glad that our kids felt comfortable to invite guests to join us for the day.

On a few occasions, we have traveled to Arizona or Northern California to be with our extended family.  The traffic can be crazy on the Thanksgiving weekend, but it was worth the effort to be with our parents and grandparents for Thanksgiving.

I suspect that you have some holiday traditions in your family.  Take time to enjoy the moment.  Share what you are thankful for and listen to what others share, too.  Look around your dinner table and make a mental note of who is with you.  Let them know how thankful you are to have them in your life.

Many verses in the Bible remind us to give thanks to God.  Psalm 100 says, “Enter His gates with Thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name. The Lord is good, His love endures forever and His faithfulness to all generations” (4-5).

I hope that you enjoy a memorable Thanksgiving this year.  I hope you will invite some guests to join you and your family at your dinner table. And, I hope you will join your hearts in prayer and give “thanks” to God for his abundant blessings in your life.  You will be glad you did and He will too!

Pastor Mark Hopper

Efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

909-594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

 

Tax Reform and Housing: Part 2

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

This past Friday I had the honor and pleasure of attending an event where the headline speaker was Secretary of The U.S. Treasury Steven Mnuchin.  The event was focused on presenting the Administration’s position on Tax Reform. The event was hosted by the Corona Chamber of Commerce at the beautiful Eagle Glen Country Club and Golf Course. (It remains one of my favorite golf courses that I have played-when I still could-nestled along the boundaries of the Cleveland National Forest, with expansive views of the Inland Empire Valleys and the San Gabriel Mountains). I was able to hear first hand from the Secretary of the Treasury the process that will follow in moving the “Tax Cut and Jobs Act” forward through Congress, and eventually, to the President for his signature. Secretary Mnuchin, in summary, explained that the details of the bill may look very different from the two separate bills moving forward in the House of Representative and the Senate. He explained how the two bills will have to be reconciled with each other, along with the current strategy of presenting legislation that will be “net neutral” to the approved budget.

Tax Reform will continue to be the hot topic of national debate on the Federal, State, and local levels between now and the end of December 2017. The Trump Administration is working hard to move forward on its promise to deliver on Tax Reform. It was one of President Donald Trump’s key campaign promises, and having failed to repeal and replace Obamacare as promised, the burden on the Administration to fulfill on this particular promise has greatly increased. Having failed on one promise, it has become even more important for Trump to successfully deliver on this other campaign pledge.

The National Association of Realtors, the California Association of Realtors, and many local associations of Realtors, such as Tri-Counties Association of Realtors, Citrus Valley Association of Realtors, and Inland Valley Association of Realtors currently oppose the present form of the recently disclosed Tax Reform plan. All of these associations have sent out a Call To Action to their members requesting they call their respective representatives in Congress and ask that they vote against Tax Reform in its current form.

I will continue to write on this issue as it evolves in the next few weeks, and if the final bill does not change from it current form as it relates to Housing, it will definitely have negative impacts and consequences to the Housing and home Financing industries.

This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Cal BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at nefcortez@gmail.com. Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

 

 

 

Tax Reform and Housing

Nef Cortez

By Nef Cortez

The current effort to Reform the Tax Code can have some very disconcerting consequences to homeownership in California.

The incentives that are built into the tax code benefit Homeowners directly in the ability to claim as a deduction the interest paid on a home mortgage, as well as the property taxes paid. Eliminating this incentive from the tax code effectively raises taxes for a majority of middle class Americans. The California Association of Realtors (CAR ) and the National Association of Realtors (NAR) have taken the position of strongly opposing the Congressional Tax Reform Act as long as this issue is not addressed in a manner to retain wholly or in large part within the Tax Code.

Tax reform that is passed without the middle class wage earner retaining this incentive will decimate the housing market. The real estate values of today’s homes have had this tax deduction built into it in some form or another for the last 100 years. Even a 10% reduction in property values will cause a ripple effect that would impact millions of Americans, and in many cases would cause home-owners to dip back into a position of being “underwater” in their home loans.

Removing the incentives to homeownership in on fell swoop would cause many negative unintended consequences to America’s middle class. Culturally, it has been shown that home ownership helps to support a more stable living environment, where residents of a community are vested into its livability. A more stable environment has been shown to be beneficial to children in their teen, pre-teen, and formative years.  Socially, anything that erodes the  stability of households will ultimately affect our communities in a negative manner.

I would encourage you to contact your congressional representative to voice an opinion on this issue, as it is critical to most homeowners’ finances.

This article was written by Nef Cortez, a licensed Real Estate Broker, Cal BRE # 00560181 since 1976. He can be reached via e-mail at nefcortez@gmail.com.  Please feel free to email any questions regarding real estate.

 

Are You Living to Die or Dying To Live?

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Our lives are truly about our mindset and how we view our lives.  I must ask you if you are living to die or are you dying to live.  These two ways for which people live sure do look and sound the same but they couldn’t be more different.  Take a look at the first one, living to die.  To me that means the person is merely existing and just going through the motions until they die.  I don’t believe there is much joy or quality of life with this style of life.  I believe a pretty unhappy and dissatisfied person lives according to the idea of living to die. Now on the other hand a person who is dying to live has a life of joy and quality.  I believe they are satisfied with their lives and appreciate each and every day they are honored with life.

So how do you live?  Which of these two mottos do you follow? It’s never too late to change.  It all starts by changing your mindset.  It starts by letting go of your past, forgiving yourself and others and on being grateful each and every day we are honored to be here.  As you begin the healing process your mindset will start to help you see all the good in everyday and you will start to feel empowered by the self- induced changes in you and the way you think.

I hope the change will start by reading this article.  I hope you believe you deserve a better life and use this as a road map to take you there.  I have faith in you that you can make the change and get the life you are worthy of!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909) 229-0727.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancystoops@verizon.net. You may purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

 

Lost In A Hospital

By Mark Hopper

One of the privileges and responsibilities of a pastor is to visit people in the hospital.  My goal is to encourage the patient and family when I go to visit them.  I often read a verse from the Bible and always pray with the patient and their family.

However, I think there should be a rule that requires everyone from a specific church to use the same hospital!  I spend many hours on the freeways of LA visiting people in hospitals from Redlands to Santa Monica and from Pasadena to New Port Beach!  I have even driven to San Diego to see someone receiving critical medial care.

When I see the look on their faces and the tone in their voice, I know they are glad to see me and that they appreciate the time I have spent coming to see them.

Sometimes it is hard to find the patient in the hospital.  On some occasions, new mothers use their maiden name when having a baby.  In some cases,  people  simply use a different name when they are in the hospital.  It can be hard to find people and pastors learn to become persistent when searching for their parishioners!

But, even when you have the right name and the right room number, it can still be difficult to find a patient in a hospital.  Many older hospitals are like a maze in a corn field.  Hallways go in different directions, signs and numbers are hard to read and elevators only serve certain floors.  I have heard that some pastors have gotten so lost in hospitals and that they are never found again!

Recently, I was looking for a patient at the City of Hope in Duarte.  I was given the room number and general directions on how to get there.  However, as I wandered down several corridors in an older part of the hospital, I realized I was lost.  Which hallway was I supposed to follow?  Did they say to go left or right?  Was it the first hallway on the left or the second hallway on the right?

As I stood near a nurse’s station, a nice woman wearing a white lab coat asked me if I needed help.  She must have noticed the confused look on my face.  When I said “yes” and told her what rooom I was looking for, she politely explained that I was in the wrong ward.

To my surprise, she insisted on taking me to the room I was looking for.  I was amazed that she was willing to abruptly leave a meeting she was involved in to personally help me find the room and the patient. She sympathized with my dilemma and said that people often get lost or confused finding rooms in this older part of the hospital.  With her help I found the room and person I was looking for!

Several passages in the Bible (Mark 6:34 / I Peter 2:25) refer to us as sheep who have gone astray.  Sheep tend to wander away from the shepherd and get lost as they search for green grass.  The lost sheep need a shepherd to find them, guard them and guide them.  King David said in Psalm 23, “The Lord is my shepherd…he makes me lie down in green pastures and he guides me to still waters”.

We need to remember that there are times when will we need the help of others to find our way whether through confusing hospital corridors and in broader areas of life.  And, we also need to remember that there are people all around us that need our help finding their way, too.

The Bible says that we are all lost sheep and that we all need a shepherd.  You can read more about the “Good Shpeherd” in the gospel of John chapter 10 and in Psalm 23.

Let me encourage you to be more willing to stop what you are doing and give help or directions to those around you.  There may even be a pastor who has lost his way and needs your help!  You will be glad you did and he will too!

Pastor Mark Hopper

efree Church of Diamond Bar

3255 South Diamond Bar Blvd

909-594-7604

Sunday Services: 9:00 & 10:45 AM

Efreedb.org

 

Straight Talk with Danice

Danice Akiyoshi

Danice Akiyoshi

Dear Dr. Akiyoshi,

I am 28 years old and live with my parents.  My problem is that my parents are mean to me.  When I’m not doing things their way they put me down.  They say I am over weight, or that I shouldn’t go out with my friends because my face is having a break out, or that my girlfriend really doesn’t care about me and she’s just using me.  I wish I could move out, but we all work together at the same company and we carpool which saves me a lot of money.  I’m getting depressed.  Help.

 

K. Lee

 

Dear K. Lee,

When people make comments to make you feel off balance or injure your self esteem, they are attempting to manipulate you.  Usually they have an agenda and are trying to direct you in a way that gives them their desired outcome at the expense of your own happiness. You are in a dangerous situation where your emotional health is concerned and you need to discuss this with your parents.  If they are not responsive, please consider personal coaching so you can build your own sense of personal power and better manage personal conflicts.  There are plenty of other roommates who are willing to share expenses without chipping away at your well being.  At the age of 28 you should have the developmental skills to restructure your life and still maintain decent family relations.  If you are emotionally immature and afraid to face adult living, please get some assistance. You will feel so much better being in control of your own life.   Good Luck.

 

Sincerely,

Danice Akiyoshi ND

 Danice Akiyoshi is a Naturopathic Doctor and the head of Candid Coaching Service. She offers personal coaching services relating to all types of issues and concerns. This is a letter she received from an anonymous reader. To send a question to Danice, email her at straighttalk@candidcoachingservices.com. You can also visit her website at http://www.candidcoachingservices.com

Deciding to Start Therapy

Licensed Marriage Family Therapist

Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

By Nancy Stoops

Deciding to start therapy can be a very hard decision.  It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it on our own and that we need some help.  The truth is even though we take care of ourselves sometimes we need the help of a good doctor or an antibiotic and sometimes surgery.  I have always referred to myself as an emotional surgeon.  What I mean by this, is that I open you up and help you begin to deal with all of those dysfunctional feelings that are making you feel so bad and so stuck.  Starting therapy takes an incredible amount of courage and is a sign of strength not weakness.  Please never feel embarrassed that you feel have run out of options and that now you need some help to get through some things.

Over the years I have worked with people 2-91 years of age dealing parenting, drugs, anxiety, depression, autistic spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, appropriate sexual boundaries and so many other issues. Between my groups and my private practice I have literally helped thousands of people learn how to live a happy and balanced life.  I want my clients to be healthy mentally as well as physically and spiritually healthy.  I think all three of these go hand in hand to maintain permanent well-being.

A good place to start is by visiting one of my groups and seeing if you like my style before you start spending your hard earned money.  Keep in mind my co-therapist is a registered therapy dog named Midnight. If you are a dog lover you will have a great team on your side while you are doing some very necessary healing or just getting some tips on how to live more fully!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T.  Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.  She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members.  Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger.    For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072.  You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net.  You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.