Tag Archives: Michael Armijo

Just A Thought…

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

Is Social Media really Anti-Social Media? With the advent of “smart-phones” our communication styles have perhaps become less intelligent. With everything from a lack of actual conversation to cyber bullying, Social Media may be ruining many lives.

Social Media is the apple, and we are Adam and Eve. With it, we’ve tasted the truth; we’ve been empowered. Do we think we are God-like, making our own rules; defying purity; defying morality? Were we ever emotionally equipped for the rapid advancement of the Facebooks, Twitters and Instagrams of this world?

There are now consequences for what we believe is acceptable, according to what the majority of a ‘conversational’ thread dictates. It is sad that our individuality is being convoluted by our need – our greed – to be accepted, loved, and “liked”.

Our need to feel right socially has become our weakness. God said the beast will try and destroy us; could the “beast” be technology? “It” is surely behind this weakness, encouraging some with immorality and introversion. Man created technology, not God. And with this obsessive socialism of technology, could man be unknowingly destroying man? Are we so ‘social’ that we are missing out on society?

Just a thought…

 

Serving Satan

By Michael Armijo

Many years ago, while sitting in the audience at EV Free Church in Diamond Bar at the start of a new year, pastor Mark Hopper asked a very thought provoking question: “What are you going to do to minister God’s word to others this year?”

At first, I felt that showing up to church was enough; I’ve given up time and energy to be here ‘missing out’ on the rest of life so that I can pray to God and be a good person. This was a lot for me, so why should I do more than that for God?

And then I remembered all the things I did before I found Jesus: I lied to my fellow man; I became drunk with wine and spirits; I invited others to join me at the bar to get drunk; I had lust in my eye; I was envious, dishonest; and the list goes on. I was telling people, by my actions, that I was proud to be a sinner. And I subconsciously asked them to follow me.

It was at that time I realized something. Practicing all those sins really meant that I was serving Satan. I was promoting his sinning ways, and when I did it in front of others, I was encouraging them to practice sin, too. I was looking for victims who were lost to come join me in my debauchery, depression, and lust. I didn’t mean to do it intentionally, but it was intentional because I was practicing sin, over and over again.

So what’s the difference between serving Satan and serving God? Why shouldn’t I serve God? Why not be proud to be a Christian by practicing his word, praying openly in public, and answering the phone, “Praise the Lord.” Why not invite friends to church instead of to a bar? Why not spread the word about life, love, and the pursuit of Jesus? Why not?

Today I serve God’s word. Today I practice God’s love. In 1 John 4:18 I read, “Love is Fearless.” Today I love my children without fear. Today I love my wife without fear. Today I love my past without fear. Today I love my God without fear. Today I am no longer a prisoner, because today I no longer serve Satan.

Redemption

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

 

One day, my friend told me a story about a freshman in high school named David that touched me so deeply. This is what I call, Redemption:

David saw a kid named Ron walking home from school. It looked like Ron was carrying home all of his books, which was strange because classes aren’t all on the same day. He thought to himself, “Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.” But he shrugged his shoulders and went on.

As he was walking, David saw a bunch of kids running toward Ron, knocking his books out of his arms and tripping him. Ron’s glasses went flying and landed in the grass. When David handed the glasses to him, he looked up he saw this terrible sadness in Ron’s eyes. Somehow he felt his pain.

David said, “Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.”

Ron looked at him and lowly said, “Thanks.”

There was a slight smile on Ron’s face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. David helped him pick up his books, and as it turned out, Ron lived near David. They talked all the way home and Ron turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

Over the next four years, Ron and David became best friends. When they were seniors, they began to think about college. Ron decided on Georgetown, and David was going to Duke. They knew that they’d always be friends, and that the miles would never be a problem.

Ron became valedictorian of their class, and had to prepare a speech for graduation. David was so glad that he didn’t have to get up there and speak.

On graduation day Ron looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. All the girls loved him. David was just jealous. He could see that Ron was nervous about his speech, so David smacked him on the back and said, “Hey, big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at David with one of those looks (that really grateful one) and smiled.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.

“Graduation is a time to thank those who have helped you make it through those tough years; your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…but mostly, your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I’m going to tell you a story.”

David looked at his friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day they met. Ron talked of the day he had cleaned out his locker. He talked of how he was distraught about his life. He talked about how lonely he was. So lonely, he had planned to kill himself that weekend. But he didn’t, because his new friend unknowingly stepped in. He showed kindness. He showed compassion. He showed, by his actions, that life is worth the struggle. Ron looked hard at David and gave him a little smile.

“Thankfully, I was saved,” David continued. “My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable.”

David heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told them about his weakest moment. He saw Ron’s mom and dad looking at him and smile with that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did David realize its depth.

It was then that David realized how important it is to never underestimate the power of one’s actions. With one small gesture you can change a person’s life – for the better, or for the worse.

The most compelling element about the story of Ron and David’s friendship is how it relates to so many lives. Personally, I’ve hoped that somewhere within my past that I’ve been a “David” to someone I’ve met. And what fills my spirit with even more emotion is that I know I’ve felt like a “Ron” many times. What perplexes me is that I don’t know which role I’ve felt more often.

Someone once said, “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” To so many, each day, this is true. I’ve always valued my friends with depth and sincerity. I’ve always believed in the importance of being friends, and the importance of having friends.

As the story continues, it emphasizes that there is no beginning or end. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. But today is a gift. This reminds me that giving the ultimate gift of friendship is what I call the inner spirit of your heart, and that gives us the true feeling of redemption.

Who Determines Our Path?

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

While driving one day, I noticed a young man sitting on a park bench. You could tell he was in despair, the way he was just sitting there, staring at the ground. He looked like he had given up.

The man was wearing a muddy shirt, dirty tan pants, a large trash bag that he used as a backpack, and a pair of almost unrecognizable tennis shoes. His hair was filthy and matted, and he sported an untrimmed beard that looked as though it had been chopped in sections with a dull pair of scissors.

He sat there as though he had no place to go. His head hung down; his eyes seemingly entranced on the ground. The scene reminded me of a small child, bored, thinking he didn’t have a friend in the world. I could see hopelessness and sadness in this man’s demeanor.

As the cars sped by on the street, the man got up and walked in a slow-paced journey to nowhere. Had he stepped into oncoming traffic, I would have been horror-struck, but not surprised. It would have appeared as though another tragic life had ended without a cause, without a clue, and without a care.

He didn’t look angry, but had he been I could have imagined him attacking. Why not lash out at society if you don’t care what happens to you? Why not “get even?” This is a sad logic, but as one who watches the news, its today’s reality.

As I looked at the man, I wondered if society had failed him; but how much truth does that hold? How responsible is society for the ones that are lost? I believe we have to ask ourselves, who determines our path? Who maps out our life? We’ve heard so many excuses about responsibility through blame and denial that we allow ourselves to label our lives as dysfunctional. And then we wonder why we turn out differently than others.

After the experiences I’ve had in life, I now believe we are the creators of our own destiny. We determine where we go, who we are, and who we become. After pointing the finger at society for too long, we need to take responsibility for ourselves. HOWEVER, I will add that as parents, we ARE responsible for providing an honest and fair life, a loving and caring environment, a responsible and healthy example, and a thorough and extensive education for our children. Of course, we shouldn’t condemn ourselves if our children do not turn out the way we had hoped. As human beings, there comes a point in time where we need to look ourselves in our own eyes and say; “I honestly did the best I could, with no regrets.” Why wish for the chance to do things over, when that is not a possibility? You can only change who you are right now, and move forward doing your best.

I believe that there will be a day of judgment. And on that day we will be forced to look into our own souls and really see who determined our path. So to that young man on the park bench, I hope you are happy with your path.

 

The Love Of My Life

By Michael Armijo

I once saw a young couple walking together, and their interaction made me pause for a moment and admire them. They looked often into each other’s eyes, and the world seemed to stand still for them. All time seemed to cease and the love between them flourished. It was like watching two birds soar through the sky in a synchronized motion; in true harmony. They were on the same flight, in pace, within the same realm of mind, emotion and feeling.

I believe that in life, you earn the love you have, with your intentions and your actions. You earn the right to love and be loved. If you have not earned love because of what you’ve done in the past, you still have a chance to be deserving of this gift. You ask for forgiveness, first to your God, and then to yourself. Once you believe you are forgiven, your heart will be open to receiving love.

I don’t believe that God has intended us to make the journey of life without profound love; with that feeling where you think, “Being with this person and knowing their smile, their touch, and their love just for a moment, is worth more than a thousand years of living without it.”

When you find that kind of love, you nurture it – forever – so that your hearts become one. For the times you don’t feel as one, you have to remember that love isn’t fading, but the distractions of your insecurity, problems, and other weight-of-the-world issues are simply blurring your vision. True love, well taken care of, will persevere.

I have this love; this ‘love of my life’. I have loved her since I met her, and every moment in between. I have been loved in return, and it has given meaning to my life that I once felt I had no right to expect. But no one can every take that from me, and I have no regrets.

If you have that love, earn it; nurture it. Like that young couple, find your synchronization and harmony. Find the purity and honesty that it is all derived from. Experience that kiss that says, ‘I love you, I trust you, and life is richer because of you.’ Find the love of your life.

 

The Power Of A Child

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

 

We go through life and we grow, we build, we conquer, we reach our successful arenas; our niche in life. We overcome things we never dreamt we could possibly overcome. We accomplish the impossible. Then we reflect and feel this power about ourselves, the power of controlling our lives and accomplishing what we need to. We feel strong and purposeful; in control of our own destiny.

And then one day, by an act from God, a 60 pound, 4 foot 1 inch person rips away every sense of power that we’ve worked all our lives to obtain.

I’ve felt helpless at times in my life, but have always felt that I could overcome anything life gives me. But strength, intelligence, and endurance cannot compete with certain elements that come into our lives, seemingly as an act of God. Only God could show us how love can make us feel powerful…or powerless.

When her tiny voice cried out I could hear the weakness in the tone. She looked frail, lethargic, and felt much warmer than she should have. I could sense the virus creeping into her weak little body; she lay exhausted and motionless as her fever climbed to 102 degrees. My child was sick.

Motivated by strength I rise to the occasion and I’m determined to stay by her side and make her well – for as long as it takes (but deep inside I feel afraid and helpless). Intelligence kicks in and I start the bath water running and carry her to the cool water.

Feeling even more helpless as her fever hits 104 AFTER the bath, I call for help. The fear escalates as the paramedics take my child away and I follow them to the hospital. As doctors and nurses attend to her my eyes fill with tears. I spend a sleepless night at her bedside.

I sit slumped over in a chair next to her bed, head in hands, exhausted. My mind starts wandering, and I begin to wonder, is it worth it? Is the responsibility of this little person too much? Does the giving, sharing and loving balance out with the worry and fear?

And then, I feel this soft little touch on my hand as tiny fingers try to interlace with my own. I hear this little voice whisper, “I love you, Daddy.” I feel the tears run down my cheeks and I’m overwhelmed with relief. I look up at my girl and see a hint of a smile, reassuring me that she is better. That little ray of sunshine feeds my soul, and I’m feeling better, too

As she feels stronger, I feel stronger. I embrace my child and feel some of my power being restored and I begin to understand. The moment she was born I relinquished all of my power to her. She is the source that can bring me to the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows.

And so it is with children. They motivate us, give us strength, and show us the power of love. They are worth every worry, every tear, every laugh, and every moment of our time. The power of a child is the power of love.

 

 

Why Remember?

By MICHAEL ARMIJO

 

I once read a story about a 9-year old boy named Travis, whose mother died at home one day. Without telling a soul, little Travis covered her body with a coat and he placed sheets of notebook paper over her face. He learned to fix his own meals – mostly frozen pizza, cereal, and soup – cut his own hair, and attended school without fail. He did this for over a month because he was afraid he’d be placed into foster care if anyone found out his mother passed away. The mother’s body was eventually discovered by family friends. Travis begged them not to call the police.

When I read this story I was moved to write about it from my perspective. A friend asked me why I sought out areas in life that are so traumatic, so emotional, and so powerful. He asked me why I seemed to focus on elements of life that are painful, emotional and disturbing. “Why remember,” he asked.

It amazes me what life brings you. It’s like an old, enormous tree that sits in your neighborhood. One day it catches your eye and you tell yourself, “Gee, I never noticed that huge obstacle in front of me before.”

Although that tree has been there throughout your life and you’ve had to go around it most every day, you just never really looked at it. You’re so busy trying to survive that the small detour has become a part of your life, your routine.

I kind of feel that my emotions are like that tree; I’ve driven past them for so many years without really paying attention. I kept wondering why it took so long to get anywhere productive; why life was such a hassle for me. And then one day, for some reason, I finally noticed this tremendous obstruction in my life that I was going around and avoiding over and over again. I became fed up and decided I wasn’t going to avoid it anymore – I was going to drive right through that humongous tree of emotions.

It was never my plan to have to go and examine the landscaping of my life. I thought I was supposed to follow the path that was laid out before me. But somewhere along the way, I developed a source of confidence that somehow convinced me that the path laid out before me was vulnerable to manipulation. I realized that I could change where I was going and how I was going to get there.

I believe there are experiences in life that give you freedom and confidence, but sometimes you end up in a stagnant period where you have to take a moment to sit back and reflect. And during this reflection you might sometimes feel resentful of the circumstances that are before you. You might realize that someone in your life planted seeds that grew into this enormous tree that distanced you from the success you feel you deserve. And somehow – although you feel as though you never intended to water those seeds – this enormous tree has grown, survived, and even thrived in your life.

When you realize this, you might have a tendency to be angry or resentful of the irresponsibility of someone else’s sowing. You can’t change what has happened in your life, and that in itself can be an obstacle preventing you from going forward. It’s puzzling why we remember those horrible situations that have scarred our lives with darkness and pain. But as my dear friend said to me in a simple question, “Why remember?”

After hearing those two words I realized I had no answer real for that question. I then felt compelled to just let the darkness go and try to remember how great life really is. I can appreciate that although the huge tree may have strong roots, with a little work I can uproot the unhappiness.

And just like Travis, who used a few pieces of notebook paper to cover a painful sight, hoping that no one would discover it, we can ignore the obvious, or use those pages to write a new chapter in our lives. A chapter that will include a new path – right smack through that enormous tree.

 

 

The Mexican Fisherman

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

 

I am convinced that deep inside our hearts we all possess the ability to be successful. I rely on a simple formula: Confidence + Desire = Ability. I believe that when we have confidence, and then add our desire, we find the path to ability. And I believe that each and every one of us can accomplish whatever we want, just as long as we have desire. But it has to come deep from within.

What I’ve also learned is that not everyone shares the same definition of success that I do, and I’ve learned that what’s important to me is not necessarily important to others.

As a motivator, I want everyone in the world to apply themselves and work hard to be on top. I want to encourage everyone to do their best and step up to their inner ability. But I’ve come to the realization that sometimes we have to really look clearly at the big picture, because sometimes our goals are the same. It all depends on how you look at it.

This brings me to a story I’d like to share, a story called, The Mexican Fisherman:

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village, when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The fisherman replied, “Only a little while.”

The American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?”

The fisherman said, “With this I have more than enough to support my family’s needs.”

The American then asked, “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

To which the fisherman replied, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I’m a Harvard MBA and I could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise.”

“But what then?” asked the fisherman. The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions? Then what?” the fisherman asked.

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

This story reminds me that when you’re searching for success in life, you need to determine what success means. Just as the fisherman believed in his simple life, we need to look at the simplicity of what we really want. At times, we may find we don’t need to look too far for success because sometimes we’re already successful. Some of us, deep inside, are simple, happy, already successful Mexican Fishermen.

Standing In The Light

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO
Doug was a simple guy who had worked hard to be “normal.” His upbringing wasn’t the best, but Doug beat the odds and found life within his spiritual realm. He found God and decided that his true place in life was with Him. He wanted to come out of the darkness and stand strong into the light.

One day Doug stood in line at a mini-mart when a young woman came in. He immediately noticed her long brown hair, her beautiful eyes, and her slightly crooked smile. She raced in for her purchase, and without noticing, dropped a fifty-dollar bill on the floor.

As he hesitated, Doug remembered his obligation to stand in the light. He remembered that he attends church on Sundays, and needs to do what is right; but he didn’t. A little voice in Doug’s head whispered, “Pick up the money and put it in your pocket.” He picked up the fifty, placed it in his pocket, and turned the negative into a positive by bragging about how “lucky” he was.

Soon after, he reexamined his actions and tried to justify them. He thought to himself, “God wanted me to have this money; he knew how much I needed it.” And then the guilt set in. He wasn’t comfortable attending church on Sundays, and he began to run from his guilt by not caring anymore. Doug was lost to guilt and temptation.

Several weeks went by and Doug’s dishonesty grew. He felt content about his new place because he received things he didn’t earn; he took things that he didn’t deserve. His ‘cheating the system’ helped him receive tangible items that he usually couldn’t afford. And then one day a friend invited him back to church and Doug was faced with an uncomfortable decision: Do I continue my wicked ways, or do I go back to the light?

If Doug was to give up his newfound lifestyle, he would then have to change what he was taking from others. He would have to exchange his financial riches for spiritual ones. Honesty would once again have to prevail in his life. All the taking, which had grown into a disease, would have to transform into giving. But Doug was afraid of doing what was right.

I believe that honesty doesn’t just happen, and to many, it has to be taught. To truly stand strong in the light requires commitment and focus on the bigger picture. And although life has given me unpredictable waves that have created confusion within my own life, I still believe that there is something out there, a higher power, and an incredible universe that shines brighter than imaginable. In those moments when we do the right thing, when we feel inexplicable happiness and peace, we draw from this power and feel the benefit of this light.

I hope for Doug, and the many others who have fallen into the darkness of life, that they can overcome their fears about love, affection, honesty, intimacy, goodness and truth. And is it really easier to live in that fear within the darkness? When we are able to overcome and understand who we really are, where we are going, and what we believe in, these elements of truth help keep us free from sin, pain, and being fearful. At that time we will have no fear, and we will stand strong with our hearts full of that light.

 

The Carpenter

By Michael Armijo

 

I received an email a while back that has always resonated with me. I find myself thinking about it from time to time, as the words it contained often remind me to work hard and be proud of what I’ve accomplished. It has encouraged me to continue to keep my heart within my work, as you never know what life will bring you. It is good advice, no matter who you are or what you do, and I share it with you now.

The Carpenter: An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife and extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The employer, who was sorry to see his good worker go, asked if he would build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. “This is your house,” he said, “my gift to you for all of your hard work and dedication.”

The carpenter was shocked; what a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we’ve built. If we could do it over, we’d do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. “Life is a do-it-yourself project,” someone once said. Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the “house” you live in tomorrow. Build wisely, and remember: Work like you don’t need the money. Love like you’ve never been hurt. Dance like no one is watching. Enjoy life like it’s your last day on Earth.

Action And Reaction

By Michael Armijo

 

While at the ATM drive-through, a woman straddled both lanes in a two-lane aisle. I’ve been there a thousand times and not one person has ever straddled these lanes; they just pick one. Sometimes the line moves quickly, other times you have to wait while the cars next to you move right through. It’s a gamble, but we make a decision and we accept it.

Maybe it was the long day or maybe I just felt short-tempered, but while the woman straddled the lanes, I went around her car, and I picked the left lane. She got out of her vehicle and told me, “I’ve been waiting, you can’t go around me.” I explained my version of the unwritten policy of the drive-through ATM machine. She angrily got back into her car and waited again. As I drove up to the machine, I felt so uncomfortable. I knew she shouldn’t have just sat there, straddling both lanes, but who am I to react to her misdirection? The uncomfortable feeling made me sick inside, knowing that I never should have gone around her. So I backed up, allowed her to go first, calling out to her, “I’m sorry, go ahead of me.” She pulled up to the machine, finished her transaction, and her last words were, “Thank you for being fair.”

I believe the true essence of being a complete individual begins with the ability to communicate and present issues, views, and concerns in a dignified, fair, and understandable manner. Simple people do not get caught up in the unfairness in life. They do not listen with anger and retort with vengeance. They respond instead of react. And it’s their simplicity that keeps them humble and dignified. Simple people see or experience tragedy and work through it and not around it. Complicated people tend to do the opposite.

I also believe in responsibility. Not to just go to work, pay the mortgage, and get the kids to school, but to actually enforce that responsibility on the inside. We should not just promote a good life, but actually believe it and live it – at our jobs, in our society, and toward our fellow man – without pretense; with simplicity.

When I pulled in front of the woman at the ATM machine, I knew she was misdirected, and yet I reacted to her misdirection instead of responding to it. If it meant that much to me to not wait behind someone who couldn’t make a decision, I should’ve communicated with her. And if it didn’t mean that much to me, then I just should have just waited behind her and not given it another thought. Instead, I almost ruined her entire day, and who knows what that reaction could have done to her family and friends, and so on.

I believe that we, as a society, need to remember how important and how powerful we really are. We need to understand the true meaning of sharing experiences, being honest, open, and sincere. It will bring peace when you remember that you have so much to contribute to life rather than wasting it on bitterness, anger, frustration, or unfairness. Don’t just react, but respond accordingly and focus on the good things.

I believe the truest form of life is not just having the power to get your way, but using your power to help others find their way. That is a great reaction.

My Son, My Sun

By Michael Armijo

 

I sat there on the brown, lacquered bar stool, with my arms on the counter, my face in my palms, and then the crowd walked in. Although there was a group of them, one stood out like a court jester on the royal throne. He was obviously the life of the party.

In a beat of the heart, I saw a reflection of myself as the loud, happy, party-goer. I remembered being that young man, feeling life on the edge, living with joyful enthusiasm. And then in another beat of the heart, I saw something else that scared the hell out of me. I saw a reflection of my son.

You see, the life I once lived, I am not proud. And I was scared for my son. I knew he would have to endure many of the emotions whose presence must move us. I knew he would have no choice but to learn many lessons the hard way. And I knew he would have to travel some paths that I too had to endure.

But I was still afraid. I didn’t want him to have to deal with the problems that I was exposed to: the adult decisions I made as a child; wandering through life guideless and fearful. To walk a path that my heart still refuses to acknowledge existed. I was afraid for him. Although he was older at the time, he was still my little boy.

I still remember how proud I was, when for the first time, he reached first base in Little League. I remember how I felt when he caught the winning pass during his first season of playing football. He is a grown man now, but I can still remember his tiny little smile, and his cute little “Ricky Ricardo” hair style. I can still remember his playful joy, and his childish, comedic grace. Always giggling, always dreaming of being a superhero – a Ninja Turtle, Batman, or Spiderman. The many Halloweens allowed him to be them all.

Although I miss those days, the days of holding him completely in my arms, I can still feel his childish warmth. My son makes me feel proud over and over again. His kindness, his joy, his talent, and most importantly, his gentle heart, brings waves of radiance that shine on my soul. He is not just my son, but the ray of light that come from his wonderful heart brings me all the light in the world. My son will always be the light in my life, because he will always be my ever-burning Sun.

Lost Love

By Michael Armijo

I stood there in the courtyard, and waited. Her little eyes, her bright smile, her warm hugs…I was waiting for them all. It would be just a few minutes before that bell would ring, it would be just a few minutes before my little love of life would run out smiling, wrapping her arms around me proclaiming, “Daddy, I love you.”

The bell rang and I stood there. I watched; I waited. I sought her out, but she didn’t show. Hundreds of kids ran by and I made eye contact with each and every one of them. There wasn’t a chance that she would’ve gotten by me. My mind knew what she looked like, what she resembled, and all her characteristics. I was like a machine, scanning the crowd, like a robot with a mission. I was waiting for someone who made my life complete, who I had given my heart to, who I trusted with my feelings, my spirit, my life.

After most of the children passed me by, I felt a sensation of panic. I felt a sense of fear. I was afraid that I had lost one of the only people in life that I knew loved me, unconditionally, and now, who would be there in the end?

When I felt that panic, when I felt the fear of losing someone I really loved, I wondered why. Why did I feel so fearful? Why was I so afraid? Why did I feel such a sense of panic? And then I remembered what had happened.

I remembered my mother, my father, my family. I remembered how much they loved me, how they took care of me. I remembered giving my 8-year old heart to those who I thought I could trust. And then I remembered how one day my life changed. I still don’t recall how, and I still can’t understand why, but for some strange reason, when I was growing up my life was filled with love and joy, and then one day it was all taken away. All that I knew as a child, all that I trusted, was ripped from my heart, and then ripped from my soul. And no one explained why.

After the inconsistency of that environment, I found new love from girlfriends in high school. And then they too, like my family, left me, and took parts of my heart with them. I remember, at 16 years of age, standing in the aisle of Sav-on, stocking shelves, while tears poured from my eyes. I was hurt, I was devastated, and I was alone. Again, someone whom I had given my heart to had taken away a piece of my inner self. And again, they left without a word.

It took so long for me to love again, to fully trust people, but somehow I did. I began to give my heart, or what was left of it, to others whom I felt I could trust. I slowly began to rebuild my life, or so I thought.

The way I felt that day so many years ago when I couldn’t find my daughter, when that sleeping giant of fear woke up and looked around – I remembered the pain, and the sorrow and I remembered how much love hurt. I guess that when I waited for her, those feelings of abandonment returned, and I was afraid of losing yet another love in my life. I didn’t have much heart left to lose; I couldn’t stand to go through what I had experienced so many times, and so many years ago. But I faced those demons of fear and abandonment and grew from my pain. I simply refused to let my past interfere with my future. I had worked too hard to let irresponsible acts of yesterday interfere with what I had built for today. That day, I found my daughter, and I faced my fears.

As each day passes, I thank God for the opportunity to feel feelings and emotions that some people will never feel. I thank God for being able to enjoy my life with a smile and a hug. More importantly, I thank God for allowing me to understand that someday I may lose the ones I love, but not to fear, because today is the day I will enjoy their presence, their love, and their joy. And when they’re gone, I will still make wonderful memories, so that I can remember that God has given me a beautiful place in my soul – free from past pain, free from fear and abandonment, and free from lost love.

Kim Possible

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

She swings from a rope she shot out of her sleeve. She dodges laser death rays and leaps to freedom. She saves the world and her side kick is a guy. She’s Kim Possible, a teenage secret agent. She’s the coolest. She is a hero each week on the Disney Channel and, most importantly, she’s a woman.

Kim Possible, although just a cartoon character, is such a great role model for women and young girls. Having grown up with six sisters, and having a daughter of my own, I’ve seen firsthand the importance of the equality of women. And I’m proud to see programs that depict women as leaders, and as equals. This is good for young girls to see; the truth that men and women are created equal.

When I think back about my life, I remember many shows that focused on beauty and sexism. Shows like Leave it to Beaver, Father Knows Best, the Brady Bunch, the Dean Martin Comedy Hour, and Laugh In. Their predominant message depicted women as housewives, as sex symbols, or the butt end of a joke.

My sisters have empowered themselves throughout their lives, and I’ve held onto the belief that women should hold equal positions within business and marriage. And when they can’t, I’ve learned that it isn’t because of their gender, it is because of their upbringing. My father taught my sisters to work. And work they did. Many women I know were encouraged to find a man and settle down to take care of the kids. And many women I’ve met still believe that men rule the planet. I hope that those women find out the truth about us men: we don’t run the planet; we just sometimes act like we do.

I know that someday all people will see the light that equally shines from our vivid sun. And I know that all people have the right to equally feel the energy within the stars that burn a million miles away. And as those rays of sunlight shine on us, and as we all watch the same stars with equitable vision, I know I’ll see our world grow stronger and more passionate than ever before.

And each week, on the Disney Channel, you can enjoy – and hopefully relate – to a young high school student named Kim, who reminds us that nothing is impossible.

The Eye Of The Beholder

By Michael Armijo

It was a warm yet windy day filled with strong sorrow. The air reflected a deep sense of respect as people gathered to say goodbye to a friend whose spirit had left the earth.
As everyone gathered, the vibrant, wooden casket lay atop the ground as the family huddled closely around. The youngest, a young man, gazed at the casket while tears flowed from his swollen eyes. He walked up and laid his cheek on the rigid, shiny, wooden box, as his white-gloved hands gently caressed the top of the last home his father’s body would ever have. He laid gentle kisses on the top of the casket, as his unconditional love was reflected in front of all those who watched. A gentle whisper was heard a row back, “Did you see that? How sad.”
When I heard those words, I felt something deep inside that disagreed; something that didn’t see the message of sadness when the boy showed his emotions. Instead, I saw an act of love. A love so strong, it displayed the true meaning of unconditional love. Something deep inside that didn’t care if the world looked on or what people felt. A feeling of purity, of joy, and of strength.
I believe the old saying, “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I believe we all see life in certain light, and sometimes, in certain darkness. I also believe that when we express the darkness which surrounds our lives, it spreads like a contagious and cancerous disease. It attaches by simple contact, clings like a dependent child, and deteriorates in a short amount of time.
I’ve learned that opinions are only perceptions of a person’s immediate thinking, and reflections of someone’s inner self. What we see is usually what we feel, what we feel deep inside. Without realizing it, we express past experiences, deep histories, insecurities about our future, and we reflect the perception of our own lives.
I also believe that when we see life in its darkest hour, we have the opportunity to see life through the brightest light. For some, it’s a short path traveled to a place inside that holds our mind hostage from our heart. For others, it’s a level of confidence that sits deep within that’s been damaged by a careless act from another.
I believe that the true meaning of life can only be understood through the light of beauty and the inner joy that sits deep in our hearts. I believe the vision of what will come can only be seen through the eyes of a believer. I feel the truest form of emotion can only be felt when a person can feel the presence of a higher power, a stronger entity, something or someone greater than themselves.
I understand that life is not always what it is expected to be. It changes moods like a spoiled child. But I also understand that life can be what we want it to be; all we have to do is apply our hearts in front of our minds. Following what we truly feel, not what we think we see, is the only way to put aside our petty angry thoughts and our insignificant bitterness. Because just as the young man who helped bury his father, the tears that flow from our swollen eyes are tears of love that can only be seen when beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

Inland Empire: The Great Pretender

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

I remember dressing up like batman; the little K-Mart suit with the plastic mask. I remember watching SWAT and grabbing a stick like it was my machine gun. I remember trying to lift the car because I wanted to be Steve Austin, the Six Million Dollar Man.

You’d think it was healthy to give your imagination a chance to flourish, to enhance your creativity. But without proper guidance, explanation, and influence, it’s hard to differentiate between reality and fantasy. Without explanation, the lines of reality are blurred, so you embed in your mind that when life seems difficult you can mask your pain, like you did when you were a child, and become someone you’re not.

I remember being stressed to a point that I felt I could no longer take it. So I went out, drank, and became someone I wasn’t. I pretended to be someone who didn’t exist, someone I never was and never could be. I reverted to my child-like instincts and put on that K-Mart batman mask and picked up that SWAT stick while trying to lift that car. I became the Great Pretender.

While acting like I was a college scholar, a big shot at my company, or a racing car driver, I really felt alive. I felt like a complete human being because my mind was hungry to be complete, like a child who wants to become a super hero. My lies were my super power and my reality was my kryptonite.

I liked the escape of not being who I was.  Abused and neglected. Deceived and tormented. Tortured and ridiculed. Worst of all, I was verbally accosted and left to play violent and damaging tapes of lies and pain. Pretending was an escape, which helped me not only overcome the pain I had been suffering, but allowed me to feel as though I were normal for a while. It made me feel like I was a human being. Something I’d yearned to feel like for so many years.  These incidents happened so quickly and many years have passed. But today the memories are still haunting.

In the past I had embraced my desire to be something I’m not. But today I will seek to be someone who makes me feel complete. I will no longer wear the mask I had worn for so many years. I will seek truth in myself and accept what has transpired throughout my life. But I will continue to pretend, now in a fun and joyful manner; because yesterday, today, and tomorrow, I am, deep inside, the Great Pretender.

 

Eastvale: Man Who Shot Woman in Custody

Man Suspected of Shooting female in Eastvale early on April 5 (Photo Courtesy: Facebook)

Man Suspected of Shooting female in Eastvale early on April 5
(Photo Courtesy: Facebook)

By Michael Armijo 

UPDATED 4 pm 4/5/14: Just before 7 a.m. authorities spotted the suspect’s white Dodge  driving around and tried to initiate a stop. The suspect failed to yield and eventually parked his car in a strip mall parking lot, located at Norwalk Blvd. and Carson in the city of Hawaiian Gardens where he barricaded himself inside his white Dodge Magnum for seven hours. He was spotted by Sheriff’s Deputies when they went to the area to check for the suspect because his auto registration has a Hawaiian Gardens address. After Deputies tried to pull him over, they administered a “spike strip” and all four tires of the Dodge Magnum were deflated. The suspect refused to surrender and tear gas was used. After this was unsuccessful, a K9 was deployed. The standoff with Los Angeles County Sheriff ended with the suspect being taken into custody. He was treated for minor injuries and transported to a hospital, according to the Sheriff’s Department. The female victim is out of surgery and listed in stable condition. She is expected to survive. Update by Jennifer Madrigal  
Eastvale 7:49 am, 4/5/14– A man allegedly shot a woman early this morning and then drove her to the hospital, dropped her off, and fled, police say.“At about 12:30 am, officers from the Eastvale PD answered a call about an assault with a deadly weapon,” said Deputy Anthony Munoz, Public Information Officer for the Riverside Sheriff’s Department. “The suspect, a Hispanic male, allegedly shot a Hispanic female six times and dropped her off at a local hospital, then fled.” The incident happened early this morning, Sat. April 5, 2014, near Rolling Meadow Street and Burrage Street, Munoz said. The area is south west of Limonite and Harrison, and no other injuries were reported. The names of the victim and the suspect was not released yet, and their maritial status was unknown,  but they did have two kids together, Munoz said. “The suspect is considered armed and dangerous, and he fled in a white Dodge. Since the investigation is ongoing, we will have more information later and a press release will be issued,” Munoz said.

 

I Know You’re Proud

 

By Michael Armijo

You know, I never really called him daddy. My sister did, and I always envied how he brought that up so many times. But now I can say, “I miss my daddy.” When he died something inside me died. I think it was the first time I realized that I was really on my own. I always felt that dad would “take me in” had I ever made a major mistake in life, had I lost everything and had no place to go. But that feeling is gone, I no longer have a ‘safety net’ in my life. He’s not there to “take me in” anymore. At that time I realized that there was no turning back.

I do miss him, despite the anger he carried and conveyed to me. But what I miss is his strength; and later, his encouragement. He always told me how he admired the way I took on the world if I had a dream. He always said I was so strong to make hard decisions and take action. He loved to watch me work. And he loved working with me. The funny thing is, now that he’s gone I don’t make hard decisions anymore. I don’t take action like I used to. Maybe I was showing off to daddy, trying to be the star above the other kids in our family. But my dad meant so much to all of us, we all tried so hard to be number one in our daddy’s eyes. And fortunately, we all got our turn to be number one. But I almost didn’t get my turn, being the youngest. I got my turn at the end of his life. Had I not confronted him five years before he died, had I not tried to get my turn at being the number one child, I never would’ve received my fifteen minutes of ‘family fame.’

In retrospect, our family never really communicated. I think this is why it took me so long to really get to know my father. It’s kind of strange, we really didn’t know what was deep inside daddy, but we needed to be recognized by him. It meant so much to us to be recognized by someone we often felt was a stranger. And I know that I kept many things to myself, holding many memories prisoner in my mind, and some in my heart, that I never shared with him. He did teach us that we had the ability to do whatever we wanted, but he never really taught us how to communicate. I believe we need clarity; this assures us of where we stand within our lives. We would then teach our children to understand the importance of expression, the importance of how to express our feelings.

When I expressed how I felt to my father, I found out why he treated us the way he did. When we discussed his life and what happened to him when he was a child, the abuse and the neglect he endured (and we ultimately inherited), we understood, together, what happened to him. And what happened to us. But we forgave and we healed. I became more of a complete person; I closed those rough chapters in my life. This is why I believe in the importance of the ‘healing power of expression.’

Although my dad and I became close friends and I got to know him on a personal level, there is something that I always wished he would’ve said to me, something I waited all my life to hear but never did. Something I know he died with, in his heart, but he never verbally gave to me. The five simple words, “I’m so proud of you.” That’s all I ever wanted to hear from my daddy, that’s the one thing that will always be a void at the corner of my soul.

I also realized something that I never thought of: I never told my dad that I was proud of him, either. I am left to wonder if he carried the same disappointment in his life, as I did with mine. But today, what keeps me going is the hope that he’s looking down upon me each day, watching what I do and how my time is being spent. And I believe that he can’t hear what I say, but instead, he can see what’s truly deep within my heart. And as the sun shines warm rays upon me and as the wind whispers through the trees, I can lift my head high and close my eyes and feel his joyous heart whisper that he is so very proud of me; and my heart silently whispers back, that I too, am very proud of him.

San Gabriel Valley: The Grass Is Greener

BY MICHAEL ARMIJO

I read a question and answer column in a local newspaper years ago about Bob Pacheco and boy did it move me. So I picked up the phone that day, when he was our local Assemblyman, called his office in Sacramento, and asked him about his life. He was very open and candid and told me the truth about his life, in an effort to help my own. I thought my life was tough, I thought that I had a rough time. I thought I overcame a lot.

Bob spoke of his father who was a farm worker and didn’t speak any English. He mentioned how his mother was crippled and only had a second grade education. He recalled helping his father in the fields, and how poor his family was. And yet he managed to graduate from college and finish Law School.

I’ve been told to stay away from politics, stay away from mentioning political candidates or endorsing people. But I’m not speaking about Bob the politician; I’m speaking about Bob the human being.

I believe the toughest dreams in life are the ones that require treading new paths. The dreams that aren’t mapped out for you and that aren’t the natural environment. Bob Pacheco mentioned that when he was in junior college, he took an entrance exam and the counselor asked him what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to be an attorney. She suggested he should be a mechanic. And when I was sixteen, I was working for Sav-On. My father always spoke of security in income, security in employment, and hoped that I would someday become manager of Sav-On.

Sometimes we need to go against the grain, against the odds, against what others call ‘the norm’. If Bob and I had listened to others, I would be managing Sav-On and he would be fixing my car. But I didn’t want to be a manager; I wanted to own the place. I wanted to have enough comfort in my life so that I could follow my dreams of being a writer, touching lives and helping people. Bob wanted to become a lawyer. He wanted to be in a position where he could help people in deep need, inspiring disadvantaged children who do not believe they have the skills to be accomplishing in life.

Although it’s tough disregarding all that we’re told and going with your heart, I believe that sometimes it’s necessary. I believe that we should always listen to others advice but never abandon our dreams. When I was in seventh grade, I realized I wanted to become a writer and now, years later, I make my living as a writer. At 19, Bob Pacheco realized he wanted to be an attorney, and years later, he finished law school and passed the bar.

I look at myself now and I like who I’ve become. Friends of mine have taken other routes that brought them picket fences and fancy cars at a young age, while I went against the odds and followed my dreams. I look at Bob and I see someone who is always trying to help, who always offers a kind word and a warm heart, a man who also has ignored the easy route and chose to follow the hard road of a dreamer.

Many people say that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and many times it is. That can be very distracting to the dreamers in life. So if the greener grass is distracting, and you truly want to follow your heart, then start watering your own yard, and stop looking at the other side of the fence.

By Michael Armijo

I read a question and answer column in a local newspaper years ago about Bob Pacheco and boy did it move me. So I picked up the phone that day, when he was our local Assemblyman, called his office in Sacramento, and asked him about his life. He was very open and candid and told me the truth about his life, in an effort to help my own. I thought my life was tough, I thought that I had a rough time. I though I overcame a lot.

Bob spoke of his father who was a farm worker and didn’t speak any English. He mentioned how his mother was crippled and only had a second grade education. He recalled helping his father in the fields, and how poor his family was. And yet he managed to graduate from college and finish Law School.

I’ve been told to stay away from politics, stay away from mentioning political candidates or endorsing people. But I’m not speaking about Bob the politician; I’m speaking about Bob the human being.

I believe the toughest dreams in life are the ones that require treading new paths. The dreams that aren’t mapped out for you and that aren’t the natural environment. Bob Pacheco mentioned that when he was in junior college, he took an entrance exam and the counselor asked him what he wanted to do. He said he wanted to be an attorney. She suggested he should be a mechanic. And when I was sixteen, I was working for Sav-On. My father always spoke of security in income, security in employment, and hoped that I would someday become manager of Sav-On.

Sometimes we need to go against the grain, against the odds, against what others call ‘the norm’. If Bob and I had listened to others, I would be managing Sav-On and he would be fixing my car. But I didn’t want to be a manager; I wanted to own the place. I wanted to have enough comfort in my life so that I could follow my dreams of being a writer, touching lives and helping people. Bob wanted to become a lawyer. He wanted to be in a position where he could help people in deep need, inspiring disadvantaged children who do not believe they have the skills to be accomplishing in life.

Although it’s tough disregarding all that we’re told and going with your heart, I believe that sometimes it’s necessary. I believe that we should always listen to others advice but never abandon our dreams. When I was in seventh grade, I realized I wanted to become a writer and now, years later, I make my living as a writer. At 19, Bob Pacheco realized he wanted to be an attorney, and years later, he finished law school and passed the bar.

I look at myself now and I like who I’ve become. Friends of mine have taken other routes that brought them picket fences and fancy cars at a young age, while I went against the odds and followed my dreams. I look at Bob and I see someone who is always trying to help, who always offers a kind word and a warm heart, a man who also has ignored the easy route and chose to follow the hard road of a dreamer.

Many people say that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and many times it is. That can be very distracting to the dreamers in life. So if the greener grass is distracting, and you truly want to follow your heart, then start watering your own yard, and stop looking at the other side of the fence.