By Nancy Stoops

Deciding to start therapy can be a very hard decision. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it on our own and that we need some help. The truth is even though we take care of ourselves sometimes we need the help of a good doctor or an antibiotic and sometimes surgery. I have always referred to myself as an emotional surgeon. What I mean by this, is that I open you up and help you begin to deal with all of those dysfunctional feelings that are making you feel so bad and so stuck. Starting therapy takes an incredible amount of courage and is a sign of strength not weakness. Please never feel embarrassed that you feel have run out of options and that now you need some help to get through some things.

Over the years I have worked with people 2-91 years of age dealing parenting, drugs, anxiety, depression, autistic spectrum disorders, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, appropriate sexual boundaries and so many other issues. Between my groups and my private practice I have literally helped thousands of people learn how to live a happy and balanced life. I want my clients to be healthy mentally as well as physically and spiritually healthy. I think all three of these go hand in hand to maintain permanent well-being.

A good place to start is by visiting one of my groups and seeing if you like my style before you start spending your hard earned money. Keep in mind my co-therapist is a registered therapy dog named Jaida. If you are a dog lover you will have a great team on your side while you are doing some very necessary healing or just getting some tips on how to live more fully!!!!

This article was written by Nancy Stoops M.A., M.F.T. Nancy is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She has a private practice in Diamond Bar and is currently accepting new clients; she is also a motivational speaker who can inspire your employees or group members. Nancy runs free family support groups, a group on loss for seniors, and groups on how to manage anger. For more information about any of these services feel free to contact her at (909)229-072. You may e-mail Nancy at nancyjstoops@verizon.net. You may ask Purchase Nancy’s books Live Heal and Grow and Midnight the Therapy Dog at Amazon.com.

By Michael Armijo

   It was a warm yet windy day filled with strong sorrow. The air reflected a deep sense of respect as people gathered to say goodbye to a friend whose spirit had left the earth. As everyone gathered, the vibrant wooden casket lay atop the ground as the family gathered closely around. The youngest boy, a young man, gazed at the casket while tears of sorrow flowed from his swollen eyes. He walked up and lay his cheek on top of the hard, shiny, wooden box, as his white-gloved hands gently caressed the top of the last home his fathers’ body would ever have. He layed gentle kisses on the top of the casket, as his unconditional love reflected in front of all those who watched. A gentle whisper is heard a row back; “did you see that? how sad.”

   When I heard those words; “how sad,” I felt something deep inside that disagreed. Something that didn’t see the message of sadness when the boy showed his respect to his loved one. Instead, I saw an act of love. A love so strong, it displayed the true meaning of unconditional love. Something deep inside that didn’t care if the world looked on or what people felt. A feeling of purity, of joy, of strength.

   I believe the old saying; “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” I believe we all see life in a certain light, and sometimes, in a certain darkness.

   I also believe that when we express the darkness that surrounds our lives, it spreads like a contagious and cancerous disease. It attaches by simple contact, clings like a dependent child, and deteriorates in a short amount of time.

   I’ve learned that opinions are only perceptions of a person’s immediate thinking, and reflections of someone’s inner self. What we see is usually what we feel, what we feel deep inside. Without realizing it, we express past experiences, deep histories, our insecurities of our future; we reflect the perception of our own lives.

   I also believe that when we see life in its darkest hour, we do have the opportunity to see life through the brightest light. For some it’s a short path traveled to a place inside that holds our mind hostage from our heart. For others, it’s a level of confidence that sits deep within that has been damaged by a careless act from an irresponsible adult.

   I believe that the true meaning of life can only be understood through the light of beauty and the inner joy that sets deep in our hearts. I believe the vision of what will come can only be seen through the eyes of a believer. I feel the truest form of emotion can only be felt when a person can feel the presence of a higher power, a stronger entity, something or someone greater than ourselves.

   I understand that life is not always what it intends itself to be, it changes moods like a spoiled child. But I also understand that life can be what we want it to be; all we have to do is apply our hearts in front of our minds. Following what we truly feel and not what we think we see, is the only way to put aside our petty angry thoughts and our insignificant bitterness. Because just as the boy who helped bury his only father, the tears that flow from our swollen eyes are tears of love that can only be seen when beauty is in the eye of the beholder.