Tag Archives: Autism Mom

Autism Mom: Why the World May Be Shutting Down

By Melody Kraemer

The world is shutting down, so it may seem. Though is it? Or is the universe telling us something? We have been ‘social distancing” for years. Ever since we became the electronic world, people don’t seem to talk nor communicate.

Everywhere you look, people are on their electronic devices. Many people for a very long time have not looked up from their phones.

I have seen people in restaurants on their phones and not focusing on the person in front of them. I walk by people on the streets and they will bump into me not paying attention. Many car accidents I have read are caused by texting. So this social distancing is not new, it’s just now we can’t stand next to each other unless they are six feet away. But let’s be honest, many people never realized there was someone who was standing next to them.

Maybe now we can get a grasp on life and think about what there is out there. There is a world of beauty and people that will smile at you.

Sometimes I felt so alone in a world of people, why because some have no idea who or what is around them. Some never look up from their phones to see a smile in front of them. Or they are too busy worrying about the next selfie to post from where they are.

Now that everything has shut down and nowhere to go, maybe, just maybe, some will look up from their phones and see there’s a beautiful family in front of them and put down the electronics and get back to basics.

Enjoy the quiet moments, smile at the simple things, and have fun by talking, what a concept. Hopefully, on the other side of this crisis, life will be better, friendships and families will be stronger. Plus, the love of electronics will subside and the world will become a more delightful connected place between one another.

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Autism Mom Adventures. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com.

Autism Mom: Are You Happy?

Columnist Melody Kraemer, AKA: Autism Mom

By Melody Kraemer

Are you happy? I am. I wake up each day with a grateful heart. I do get questioned at times of how I can be happy and stay positive with so much going on in my life. Plus, raising two autistic boys who need constant care and attention.

I am not saying my life is perfect. I’m not saying I don’t cry most days and I’m not saying life is easy. I am saying I am happy.

But you cry, how can you be happy, another question I get asked.

God chose me to have, love, and raise these two special boys.

They may be a handful and life can be overwhelming though, at the end of the day, my heart is filled with joy and love.

I have the patience that I didn’t know I had. I have learned to be so understanding, and I’ve learned to enjoy the simplest smallest things in life. I’ve learned to stop and smell the flowers, though my little one will eat them if I let him. I’ve learned to enjoy life and be silly, along this autism road I am on.

I have met some of the most exceptional people on this autism road who have become my supporters, my cheerleaders, my sounding block and close friends.

I am thankful and happy every day that God chose this road for me. Did I want or ask for the autism world? No, I didn’t! The autism world chose me. I’m happy despite the obstacles in the road of my life. I have the most amazing kids and the most gracious God who loves me unconditionally and will never leave me and just knowing that is comfort and happiness. “Happiness is not having what you want. It is wanting what you have.” ― Rabbi Hyman Schachtel

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Autism Mom Adventures. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com.

Autism Mom: Ice Cream

Columnist Melody Kramer, AKA: Autism Mom

By Melody Kramer

“Don’t let your ice cream melt by looking at someone else’s sprinkles” Wow, isn’t that the truth?

 When I heard this the other day,  it was so accurate. I am not sure there’s even a better way to describe not to be envious or jealous of someone’s blessings (sprinkles).
 I used to let my ice cream melt by counting other people’s “sprinkles.”

Having two boys on the spectrum,  it isn’t easy and adjusting to the autism world was something that wasn’t in my plans for my life.  I started to get envious of people conversing with their children. I use to wish that my child could talk with me and hold a conversation.

 I would see people playing with their children and think if I could only do that with my child.  I would see a group of kids playing, and get teary-eyed and think I wish my child could play with other kids like that.

 I spent a lot of time counting the sprinkles of others, but in the meantime, my ice cream was melting.

 One day I decided to look at the heavens above and prayed about it all. The answer came back to count my sprinkles and quit letting my ice cream melt!

My boys are loving, kind, happy, and they may not be able to do all the things out there, but it’s ok. They are uniquely made and have amazing qualities.
My sprinkles, my blessing from above, is precisely that, Blessings!  In no way would I  ever let my ice cream melt again by counting someone else’s sprinkles because I’ve got plenty of sprinkles on my ice cream.

“Sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought life would be like and learn to find joy in the story you are actually living.” Quote By: Rachel Marie Martin

Never let your ice-cream melt.

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Autism Mom Adventures. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com

Autism Mom: You are Never Alone

Columnist Melody Kramer, BKA: Autism Mom

By Melody Kramer

Being a mom, autism mom or not, is tough. Our lives get so consumed with our children’s activities. Some have sports, others like me may have therapy (speech, OT and so on).  It can get overwhelming and consume so much time.

We as moms look around, and there are moms everywhere. So why at times do we feel alone?  We are so busy with kids here and there we miss the mark and don’t connect.  That feeling of loneliness can fester inside to where we feel defeated, sad and all alone at times.  We have to remember God is just a prayer away. We are never alone as long as we have God by our side. I have heard if God feels far away, it’s not Him that moved.   God is always watching us, is there for us and here to comfort us.  We need to keep moving forward and trusting the Lord above that he’s with us.  He sends us angels that we do call friends, though there are times when one feels alone running around, doing errands rushing off kids and picking up kids.   All we have to do is look to the heavens and know that no matter where we are or what we do we are never alone.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

 Joshua 1:9 ESV

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid: Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Macaroni Kid: Riverside. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com 

Autism Mom: God Sends Us Angels

By Melody Kraemer

God puts angels in our lives, and we call them friends. The other day had been rough. I had been sick for days and trying to hold it together with my autistic boys.  It was a day where everything just seemed to go wrong. It could have been the fact I was just so sick.

We moms know, life doesn’t stop because we are ill. All we can hope for is the kids will be good and go down early for bed. Though more often than not that’s not the case. 

I was exhausted from going to the doctor’s and  I was so worn down. My youngest came home from school and had meltdown after meltdown. One of the tantrums lasted forty-five minutes.  I was screamed at and yelled at. My patience was running thin and I was about to throw in the towel and say I can’t do this anymore.

Then I received a text message.

It was a friend of mine, an angel sent from God, saying she was on her way over to drop something off. The doorbell rang and there she stood. It could have been all the cold medicine I was on, but I think I actually saw a heavenly glow around her. She was holding a pizza for my boys and chicken soup and Starbuck’s tea for me.  I had no words.  I wanted to give her a big hug but I knew I couldn’t pass my germs on. Instead, I got teary-eyed and cried. I was feeling so blessed.

I was so thankful and I thanked the heavens above. A light had come into my darkness and I knew God was taking care of me. Just a reminder to all of you, don’t give up. You will always have angels around you.

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid: Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Macaroni Kid: Riverside. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com 

Autism Mom: Am I Crazy?

Melody Kraemer (aka Autism Mom)

By Melody Kramer

Some people may think I’m crazy by taking my autistic boys to a Harlem Globetrotter game. What was I thinking about taking my boys out to a loud and crowded place?  It’s a place that is filled with lots of people and loud noises. It’s a place where people may not understand my autistic children who screamed just a little and kicked the back of someone’s chair.

It’s all good though.  I get questioned all the time about places I take my boys. Such as, “But they have autism, are you sure this is a place for them?  Yes, it’s a place for them. Mind you I may not be able to watch the entire show. I may have to walk in the hallways a bit, and I may spend some time making sure the seats in front of us aren’t kicked.  My patience may be pushed to the limits, and I may even cry a bit.

Are you wondering, why put me through this? Is it even worth going?  The answer is Yes, it’s worth everything I do.

By exposing my autistic boys to an environment which they may not be as comfortable in, over time they will become more comfortable.

We all are uncomfortable one time or another, more often than not probably. So why should it be any different for my boys?  With my boys, I just have to ease into things a little slower and gradually.

  I may not have seen all of the show this time, but I have to say I did see more than the last event we attended. I believe in the future we will be able to sit and watch an entire show/event; it just takes patience and God by our side.

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid: Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Macaroni Kid: Riverside. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com 

Autism Mom: Happy New Year

Melody Kramer aka “Autism Mom”

By Melody Kramer

 I can’t believe another year has come and gone. Though, I have to admit, I’m kind of glad to see 2018 behind me. This past year has been a little rough. It was filled with joy as well as sadness. 

At the beginning of last year I lost my father. It was hard to say goodbye and I am still in disbelief that he is no longer with us. It was even harder trying to explain to my two autistic boys that their papa was gone. We also had to say goodbye to three of our pets. We lost two dogs earlier in the year and then, two days before Christmas, our cat passed away.  

 But, although we had great sadness during the year, we also had some precious moments. I look back upon the year and see the growth of my children, and how far they have come.  I am thankful for all of the people in their life. These people (teachers, occupational therapist, speech therapist, psychologist, and more), who believe in them and work with them on a daily basis, have done a fantastic job. 

 I wish them all, and everyone, a prosperous 2019. I am anticipating a wonderful new year.  I know the year will be full of challenges, obstacles, and frustrations. But I also know that the year will also consist of smiles, laughter, growth, flapping, spinning, and great moments. Little ones grow fast!  I plan to take each day as it comes by embracing the moments, having patience, giving lots of hugs and staying positive. 2019 here we come!

Melody Kraemer is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid: Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Macaroni Kid: Riverside. For more information or general encouragement, feel free to email her at: autismmomofboys@gmai.com 

Autism Mom: Who Am I?

By Melody Kramer

The other day I went for a job interview and the first thing they asked me was: “Tell me about yourself.” The first thing that came out of my mouth was, “I’m a mom. An autism mom.” Not even realizing that that’s not what an employer wants to hear. Although that’s what defines me. Have I lost “me”? I know my skills. I know what I can do. I ran a front office when I owned a business; I’m on the computer daily. I run special projects, I run two websites, I know programs, excel, word, publisher, to name a few. I’ve done accounting and sales. I work with many PR companies and others.  Though when asked about me, all I could say was, “I’m a mom.” Has my world been so filled with the autism world that I have set aside all of who I am and what I can do?  My life is with two boys, IEP meetings, speech therapy, doctor’s appointments, occupational therapy and more.   Where is that line that separates the mom from the person?  Will I ever be separated from that line? The day  I walk into an interview, and they ask, tell me about yourself,  and I don’t respond by saying “I’m an autism mom”, I will know I’m ready to be me again and get out in the workforce. Though I wonder if that day will ever come. I’m an autism mom. That’s my title. That’s my life and that will never change. I do realize there is me behind all of that and I’m just not ready. Maybe I never will be ready to put me in the front of being autism mom. 

Melody Kramer (aka Autism Mom) is a mother to two Autistic children. She is also the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid Jurupa Valley- Eastvale and Macaroni Kid Riverside as well as a regular columnist for the City of Eastvale News. You can contact her  at: autismmomofboys@gmail.com.

Autism Mom: Quitting is not an Option

By Melody Kramer

Do you ever feel like quitting?  Do you ever just feel like walking out? I do. There have been many days I just feel like I can’t do this anymore (motherhood). I can’t quit, and I can’t walk out, I am a mom!

 I’m an autism mom raising two autistic boys, and it’snot easy. Motherhood is not easy with autism children or not.  There are days when I cry, there are days when I don’t think I can do it and there are days when I wonder “will I survive”?  I question myself often, am I doing the right thing, am I raising them right? Motherhood is all about the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad. I chose motherhood, autism chose me. As long as at the end of the day I can say I did my best, and I gave it my all, then all is good. 

 I’m not walking out, and I’m not quitting.  I may not have sick days, I may not have vacation days, and no pay is involved but what I do get is unconditional love from my sweet kids.  I am their rock. I am there for them, and they trust me. I may have my”off” days and feel like giving up, but my kids know that I am here every day, seven days a week for them. When I became a mother, I made a commitment regardless of how tough my days can get I will never quit nor walkout. 

Melody Kramer (aka Autism Mom) is the Editor and Publisher of Macaroni Kid: Jurupa Valley-Eastvale and Macaroni Kid: Riverside. You can email her at autismmomofboys@gmail.com. 

When Life Gives You Lemons

By Melody Kraemer – Autism Mom

Have you heard that saying, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade?” Don’t you think that’s just way too easy? When life gives me lemons, I make a cake or cupcakes. I may even make a drink with alcohol, but I never settle on lemonade.

What does it really mean when someone says; If life gives you lemons make lemonade?  Are lemons that bad, or is it because they are just sour? Isn’t lemonade just as sour as lemons? So why just make lemonade? Sometimes when you buy a car, and it’s not the best of shape, people will say, you bought a lemon!  Basically, they are saying you purchased a sour car.

When life hands me lemons or even throws them at me I don’t just make lemonade I make the best of it, whatever that may be.

My daily life consists of life giving me lemons. I don’t dwell on that sourness, I embrace it.

Life with two autism boys can get pretty sour, but that’s the autism. My boys are the sweetest, kindest, loving, little guys. I love and enjoy them. My boys are silly, caring, and full of life.

So, the next time someone says make lemonade out of those lemons that life is giving you, tell them no thank you, I think I am going to make the best darn lemon cake or whatever my heart desires.

Making lemonade out of lemons is just too easy and still sour. Embrace the sourness life offers and turn it around into something sweet. There’s no time in life to be sour no matter how many lemons life gives you. Stay sweet