How Women Can Recover After Hitting Rock Bottom

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By Brittany Thomas

Movies from the 1980s profiled the prototypical “It Girl” – pretty, blond, wealthy, who drove luxury sports cars to high school, was liked by other girls and chased by all the boys.

Jane Zarse was that girl, and the persona continued into the ’90s, when she eventually graduated Boston University on the dean’s list and began acting in New York City and in Hollywood films.

That’s what nearly every young woman wants, right? Unfortunately for Zarse, it was a parallel image of her true self, she says. All the while, she’d been devolving into alcoholism and other self-abuses.

“My folks did very well and thought they were doing all the right things for their kids, but we never – never – spoke about our problems,” says Zarse, author of Love and Compassion Is My Religion.

“It was more important to keep up appearances, especially how we appeared to ourselves. After punishing myself with substance abuse, doomed relationships and more, I’d finally hit rock bottom.”

It’s the life story for countless Americans. For Zarse, a non-romantic relationship opened her eyes, aiding her to a robust recovery and a new way of experiencing spirituality. She offers insights for those who need help recovering after hitting rock bottom.

• You can’t change or improve what you don’t acknowledge. Spirituality includes more than mental abstractions; it’s about applying transcendent insights into everyday life. Admitting problems, for instance, means transcending the powerful forces of pride, habit, complacency, etc. Hitting rock bottom forces you to see what you’ve been hiding for so long – that ugly, desperately addicted side of yourself.
  • Don’t fall for a false sense of control. When alcohol, serial dating and unsuccessful job prospects gave Zarse the sense that her life was spinning out of control, she developed an eating disorder. It gave her a false sense of security via an unhealthy expression of discipline. While recovering from rock bottom, such temptations may occur. If so, be honest that you may be grasping, once again, at something unsustainable.
  • Successful relationships require kindness and respect. As the “It Girl,” Zarse received plenty of attention from men. If she wanted a relationship, she was able to find herself in one quickly. But an entitled mentality, coupled with substance abuse, fostered toxicity in her first marriage. You get back what you put into relationships.

“I remember thinking: What’s the point of quitting drinking? – I’ll still be thinking about it constantly,” Zarse says. “If you find yourself with similar thoughts, it may be time seek help. Remember, that help may come in unexpected people.”

Things That Are Often Missed In Financial Planning

By Brittany Thomas

Our relationship with money can be complicated, and it’s for this reason many people seek professional help.

But even when we get help, there are still important aspects that can be overlooked, says Brett King, the managing/founding partner and Senior Vice President Investments for Elite Financial Associates (www.elitefinancialassociates.com). “The wrong way to look at service from a financial advisor is the ‘handing it off’ mentality – that you can put your financial destiny in their hands and not have to think about it anymore,” he says.

“A better attitude is similar to what you might have between your health and your doctor, where your participation is required. Part of that means better understanding your personal wealth by furthering your financial literacy.”

King says some of the important aspects to financial planning that might be missing from your financial wellbeing include:

• A reliable relationship with your money manager. While you have a duty to yourself to understand your own wealth and subsequent goals, so do your money managers. Only recently has the Labor Department issued regulations requiring financial advisers and brokers handling individual retirement and 401(k) accounts to act in the best interests of their clients. You’ll want someone you feel comfortable communicating with, and who makes themselves available.
  • Accounting for inflation. Inflation erodes the purchasing power of your income and wealth. But you can fight it. Stocks, stock mutual funds, variable annuities and variable universal life insurance may be options to consider. These alternatives provide the potential for returns that exceed inflation over the long term. Growth-oriented alternatives carry more risk than other types of investments. Over the long term, however, they may help you stave off the effects of inflation and realize your financial goals. Remember to diversify investments.
  • Utilization of the right annuity. Annuities enable you to accumulate payments, tax-deferred, in exchange for a future income stream in retirement. The different types include fixed, immediate fixed, deferred fixed, variable and the hybrid fixed index annuity – the fastest-growing type of annuity providing principal guarantees and market index upside return. How you use them can make a big difference in reaching your financial goals. If you’re working with a sizeable retirement plan, you probably have some form of annuity, but you want to make sure it’s the right fit.

“Between estates and trusts, tax planning, cash management, risk management, investing and retirement, there could literally be dozens of important factors you’re missing,” King says. “That’s why it all starts with the money managers – you and your advisor.”